Help.........why

[Jawhar^Jewels]

salam all ..................

i have a question for you.......

a couple of days ago i recieved a marriage proposal........ (goody la ) is what u all might be thinking.............WELL GUESS WHAT NO MABROOKS ......I TURNED HIM DOWN............ nothing wrong with him..............but i need - not want more that what he had to offer........ my family liked him .....(tra min ma3arif al ahil)......is it wrong tokeep ur wants and dreams high...........especially when u have already hit rok bottem befre..........like i mentioned earlier u all know in one of my threads i was engaged and i broke it off for various reasons recived family support and all...........now my family want to see me happily settled but i cant seem to find the right guy for myself............

AM I TOO PICKY ??dont i have the right to be since i was hurt previousely and they saw my unhappiness(that one was my choice not the family ) and this one is their choice but ma dakhal mazajee ..........shunoo asawy........... with all my due respect for the men in oman.......i dont see anyone worth it sarahatan...............

why cant anyone see my point of view..... that what i want is not impossible........ yes difficult but possible................

by the way am not the type who will revert to marriage as an escape....but u know i am omani and proud to be but men here totally put me off.........HELP:weep: :fire: :angre: :sorry:

[Muscati]

It's your life to live, Jawhar, and you have every right to be picky about how you live it.

You say that you are not one "who will revert to marriage as an escape". That makes total sense to me, but you do want to get married, right?

The way I see it, people who look the hardest for a marriage partner are the ones who fail the most. The people I know who are happiest in their marriages are the ones who found their spouses when they stopped looking. People who keep saying that no one they see is worth it end up evaluating every new person they meet as "is he/she the right one for me?" It taints their vision.

What is it about Omani men that puts you off? Are we all equally bad? If you yes, then who are the men that don't put you off. Is there a particular place where you like the men better?

[Jawhar^Jewels]

thnk u for ur reply.............

i love my khalijee men as in from th emiddle east .........but they seem to be getting bigger red X's on them recently......oh about getting married that i will one day but not in a hurry like everyone is for me to...............to do the deed :)

[.:JaMaL:.]

Dear Jawhar^jewels

First of all im quit new here in the sabla so tell me how long a go was this when you broke you engagement off and how close were u to this guy. im in the office now but let me get home and ill tell you my story and what i think.

see u then

[DeSerTDesTroYeR]

JJ: hmm...what qualities are you looking for in a man!?....do you have a clear idea/image....of that!?....are you sure about it....

overall...your being very judgmental..about Omani guys..:p .... I know alot of guys...(friends) who are alll good/respectful....and with all good attributes.. i'm sure....those guys..cant fit into your generalized..opinion..:D

you need to think carefully....of what exactly your looking for..being picky is good...but ....being logically picky..would be much likely better...:)

[Najah]

oooooh Jawaher i really feel you.
But one small point to keep in mind is: No one is perfect :)
Being picky is bad to me :D Cause as mux said for you to be concerned about specific things and wanting them i dont know why you wont get them! I did live with it and so many as well..Dont let your mizaaj control you from the previouse experince..Loook into the good things the person can have while others dont.......

P.S.JJ Do u have any experinces about khaleeji mens beside oman!! I swear to god that there isnt like omanies-sleep at night mens-But i've seen saudies,kuwaities,bahraines,and emaraties and telll you what! from wht i've seen and i've seen many enough that Omani mens are the best in the way treating womens in the way they think i mean everything in general..I do bellieve that they have some wiknecess BUT comparing to the other khalijies with allllll my respect to them Omanies wicknesess are nothing :)

I hope inshallla alla will brighten your way to find the right one that you will be satisfied to live with yur whole life....Just keeep on praying....tara allla yi36eee b7asab ilniya...

[.:JaMaL:.]

ok im back...

jawhar listen to me life isn't always sweet and it definatly is never perfect. i met this girl almost four years ago and we became so close we really felt like one person. i loved her from the bottom of my heart and i cared and respected her more than anyone else which made her the most closest person in the world to me, i sacrified alot for her and changed many things in my life for her. Finally when i was ready to get married to her after soo long, one day she looks at me and says to me and she was smiling ba3ad i dont want to be with u, i was shocked and asked her to stop saying these stupid things and she said no im not joking this was on the 10 aug 2002. Belive me jawhar i cried for weeks and got sick, i lost 16KG in one month and another 4KG the following month. honestly i ran after her only for her to insult me and make fun out of me in front of her freinds. i felt lost and confused shocked that she could insult me like this, horrified to find out that she was talking to some one else and on top of this she lied to me when i asked him if she was talking to him. whats even worse i found out that she went to his house and laaaa she still thinks im a fool and denied going there. We haven't spoken for some time now and all that goes through my mind is that yes i am still a 7umaar (donkey) becouse i still love her and this is what i got for loving a girl truly........ i see girls now and just have no feelings when they talk to me and start calling me i keep away, right now i feel i can never trust a girl again or love a girl especially after the one person you belived in just slaps you and becomes so COLD harted.... but u know for how long am i going to live like this we have to move on and so do u dont be so choosy your man will come your way without even looking, so stop looking. as for me i still need some time becouse at the moment i hate girls becouse i feel all they do is lie and lie and give u false promises. when ppl find out that its me who wrote this they will all be shocked becouse they all know me as the tough agresive me.
but i broke

i really hope one day she will sit down and think of what she has lost.
i really dont want people writting and making fun out of me so pls be nice.

[raffee]

Jawhar,
I dont think its wrong of you to want to live your life with a person that makes you feel eager to wake up in the morning. This is a life-long commitment, and should not be taken lightly; dont give in to the pressures of your family or society at large, because, ultimately, it is you and only you who will suffer the consequences of your actions and choices.
I agree that love will find you, not the other way around. You dont need to look for it, just be ready when it comes your way... you will know, believe me, and I cant tell you the signals because they are different for every person depending on what it is you want in a partner, but the one assurance is that you will know, without a doubt, if he is the right one.
There is a hadith that says that if you have the smallest seed of doubt that he is not the right one, then acknowledge that doubt as a warning (i am paraphrasing here, not quoting, but thats the main idea of the hadith). That is why i am so certain that you will know... and if this man who asked for your hand in marriage did not make you feel like he was the one and only, then he most certainly is not.

Jamal...
Im so sorry to hear what you endured with this woman. It breaks my heart to know that sincerity and commitment is repaid with deceit and ungratefulness, but my dear brother, it has become a trend these days. Believe me, I speak from experience, but you cant let it jade you... you have to keep the faith that there are people out there worthy of your love, worthy of your trust... just be more careful in giving your heart next time.
I pray that you find someone who is deserving of you, and makes you happy all of your days.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, dear.

[IceTea]

Originally posted by Jawhar^Jewels

with all my due respect for the men in oman.......i dont see anyone worth it sarahatan...............



This is an insult to all men in Oman, if you don't want to marry Omani guy it's fine but no need to say such bad words, do u think yourself an angle and Omani men are running after you. There are thousands of beautiful girls in Oman waiting for a husband and you are rejecting nice men . keep on rejecting until no man accept to marry you.

[Navy_boy]

Originally posted by Jawhar^Jewels
salam all ..................

i have a question for you.......



why cant anyone see my point of view..... that what i want is not impossible........ yes difficult but possible................

by the way am not the type who will revert to marriage as an escape....but u know i am omani and proud to be but men here totally put me off.........HELP:weep: :fire: :angre: :sorry:

i think u sholud follow yr family ,,coz they see things in him which u can't see ..maybe he is better 4 u ..:wink:

[mimosa]

Tealeaf,

You are an insult to men in Oman :p

Jawhar,

Your life is yours. You are an intelligent woman and must choose your own future. Raffee is right; love will come to you when the time is right. In the mean time, you are still young. Educate yourself, choose your career (if that is what you want), work hard at it and find satisfaction in developing yourself. You don't exist for anyone else's pleasure.

Enjoy your life, enjoy your friends and family, and forget about meeting Mr Right until he arrives and announces himself in a way that will leave you with no doubt at all! (He might even be Omani.... don't let the bitter Teabags of this world put you off;)).

[DeSerTDesTroYeR]

hmm....well...still waiting to know your answers JJ....

and members...why are you building up....your opinions..before know the whole story...if we get the chance to know..even not...I dont think..we have the right..to judge on any member...if we dont know everything...about him/her.

give her time.

[4-ever-young]

well JJ it seems that all women are facing this problem...unfortunately some tend to think that once a woman reached a certain then she should quickly get married..well it is alright for some but not for others..as different women look at love and marriage differntly..and you and i are the same..

i find my self picky type but i do keep in mind that no one is perfect but another thing is..i dont force my heart to think of someone..it should just happen if u know what i mean..so just wait and insah Allah things will work out for the best

[Najah]

i have nothing to add but ilmaktoob maktoob whats written will happen and inshalla all the happyness...

a small message to Jamal...God blesss you brother..and remember what goes around comes around..if not now then later...She will for sure get what she deserves as well as you..alla ya36ee brother 3ala 7asab ilniya...
May alla inshallla eas it for you and just like what raffee said next time take a good care and think twice before giving your heart to someone..
God blesess your step inshalla...