who gets what

[Mr Tickle]

It is surprising that the arabs are complaining about all there recent casualties involved in the killing of hamas Arch Terrorist Salah Shehade. You would think that they would be complaining that 140 people were only injured and not killed. Why? Well, the people killed by the infidel Jews, are shaheeds - martyrs and automatically go to heaven. In heaven you are rewarded with 72 dark eyed virgins.

So these people are going on to better lives in heaven. They should be loving it.

A few questions have been coming to mind though:

1) Woman martyrs - do they get 72 male virgins?

2) Children martyrs - do they get their share of virgins or are there statutory rape laws in heaven and the children have to wait? Which of course leads to the question of do you age in heaven. Would they get youthful virgins now or adult ones now or do you have to wait and if you have to wait, is your wait eternal?

3) Gay martyrs - do they get same sex partners? Or since sodomy is a sin in Islam, do they get opposite sex virgins? If they get opposite sex virgins, do they have to sleep with them or can they just have them hang around doing house work?

4) Married martyrs - do they get 72 virginal versions of their wife (wives?) - or is that muslim hell?

5) From the reward of 72 virgins, we can assume that in muslim heaven there is sex. Does anyone know whether Christianity or Judaism has views on whether there is sex with heaven, and if so with whom?

6) And there there is the issue of pregnancy - do these virgins get pregnant? Is there birth control? If we figure this out we will we solve the abortion issue once and for all. And what a bout the kids - you go to heaven to change the diapers of 72 woman. Hell may be better.

7) Do you sleep with the 72 all at once or one or a few at a time? Does viagra work in heaven?

8) And does each martyr get 72 virgins or are there 72 virgins for all the martyrs? In this later case, over the last 1500 years with tens of thousands of martyrs, arranging the virgins' schedules might be a bit difficult. If one martyr kills another martyr, what happens to them?


9)If a pedophile becomes a martyr, would he go to heaven or hell? If he died of natural causes, I would assume he would go to hell - at least that is the case in the two western religions, I do not know about in islam. Does becoming a martyr in Islam wash away all other sins?

10)Also, what is the emphasis on the virginity of these 72? If you are provided to someone for sex as a reward, would that not imply prostitution?

11) And who supports these 72 virgins? Do they get along or are they competitive and jealous and you have to house them separately? Do they do there own laundry? And who takes out the trash. With 72 virgins, the martyr would be taking out the trash so frequently the virgins would stay virgins.


And oh, think of all the mother in laws.

[Arabian Princess]

you made me laugh!!!
beleive me I dont know the answer of any of teh above and I dont want to know. you see Islam from a tiiiiiiiiiny microscope. When you use the wider glasses, I will try to answer you!!

[Talius Brute]

Arby, the questions above may seem trivial and biased, but really they are entirely justified, Islam is so definite about the rewards given to martyrs for killing people, it is interesting to know what the rewards are for women etc.

There must be an answer, or , shock horror, is the whole thing just a scam to get impressionable young men to do people's dirty work for them?

[fatak]

Wine, women and good food.....I got that already.....that's my problem...!!!

In Heaven........as told to me by a Muslim sage....

There will be special servants and pleasure mates( called houris) in Paradise. They are intelligent yet soulless creatures made only to serve and please us in a world that knows no more vice. Islam is verymatter-of- fact about sex and says straightforwardly that guiltless sex is one of the benefits of Heaven. Wine, another vice that was forbidden in the world, will be allowed there also, and the best food will always be brought to us. We don’t need to eat to survive any longer; there we will eat for the joy of it. Paradise contains markets to shop in, fountains to relax near, roads to travel and endless delights. Boredom will never occur. We will be given silk clothes with jewelry and brocade of the finest quality. The people of Paradise will be quite a sight! Paradise is forever. No one has to leave. Every question we ever had will be answered. Every delight we ever imagined will be ours for the asking and more besides. Even greater than these, however, is the ability to see Allah. He can be seen beyond the seventh layer in a fantastic spectacle of indescribable light and sound. Such is Heaven according to Islam. There are so many vivid descriptions in the Qur’an and Hadith that the immediacy of the next life is brought to the forefront of the Muslims’ mind. Christians may have pearly gates and golden streets in mind, but Muslims have a closer look at what’s there and long for it that much harder!

I just hope my wife isn't there.....and constantly make me feel guilty about having a good time...

Cheers
fatak

[fatak]

Sounds like Heaven to me!!!
Jannah, or Heaven, is the place where our soul is rewarded for listening to its fitrah, or inner nature. Because we have lived a life of faith and good deeds while avoiding baddeeds— which wasn’t always easy in a world where Shaytan and animal desires compelled people to commit evilactions— we demonstrated that we are the best type of creature God created. Our souls have been purified and are ready for the good life after so much struggle and hardship. The Qur’an tells us:“ History is a witness! Indeed, humanity is truly lost. Except for those who have faith, do what is right, and who teach each other about truth and perseverance.”( Qur’an103:1– 3) When we step off the Sirat( assuming we passed our judgment successfully) and make it to Paradise, we will find a huge wall in front of us with eight gates. Each gate is named after one of the main religious rituals that God established on Earth for us. For example, there will be gates named after Prayer, Charity, Fasting, and Struggling Against Evil. We will enter through the gate that corresponds with the activity we were best at.Whoever was handicapped, lame, infirm, or blind will find that they, along with everyone else, will have perfect bodies. Once an old woman asked the Prophet Muhammad if she were going to go to Heaven. He told her that there will be no old women in Paradise. She bowed her head sadly, but then the Prophet smiled and lifted her head up and said,“ There will be no old women in Paradise because you will all be made young again.” The woman was overjoyed. We will all be about 30 years of age and in the prime of our physical shape, and we will never feel sick or hurt again. Babies who died will remain as infants, but they will have the run of the place, scurrying around“ like pretty green birds all aflutter.” Heaven has seven layers, and each of us will be taken to our home, which will be located on one of those levels. The level is determined both by the extent of our goodness and by the amount of our prophet’s teachings that we learned while we were alive in the world. Each level is so fantastic, however, that we will not feel any slight or jealousy because of our assigned level. In fact, such sentiments will be unknown in Heaven; and no ill talk, gossip, or lying will ever be heard. We will be able to visit people who live in different levels. Friends and family will meet and lounge in leisure. Husbands and wives will be reunited,
Some very holy people who will be called by all the gates to enter. In that case they can go through whichever gate they wish! Angels will be standing guard in front of each, and they will greet us as we enter and say,“ Peace be upon you! You have done well! Enter here and dwell within.” The total wonderment of Paradise cannot adequately be described in human language, and God says as much:“ I have prepared for My servants what no eye has ever seen, nor ear heard, nor any human being ever conceived of”( Hadith). The Qur’an can merely give us mental images drawn from our own life experiences in this world, and thus Heaven is described in very earthy terms. It will seem to us as a land of lively cities, exquisite gardens, rolling meadows, primeval forests, and river valleys. The colors and scents that will greet us are so vibrant that we will never grow tired of looking at them.
Sounds like something to look forward too.....

Cheers
fatak

[Arabian Princess]

I beleive that our small minds cannot imagine what is in heaven. This is why you come and ask us questions about virgins and women and wine. you compare it to what you see, while it is not comparable.

[Talius Brute]

That, I agree with, Arby, but then why does the quran mention the wine and virgins at all?

[Arabian Princess]

Positive reinforcment.
We are humans, we need something to motivate us to be good. Those verses are to encourge humans to be good. Yes there is wine, yes there are virgins and boys too like pearls. But how are they, what old are they, what they look like are no something that could be discribed because we cannot conquer them in our small imagination.

Well the only answer I could give Mr Pino, If I deserved heaven in the day of judgment (Ameen), I will answer all your questions !! :)

[sanwin25]

But saying that we will all be around 30 years of age, in the prime of our life is somewhat contradictory. At the time of the Prophet, 30 would be pretty old - at least, given the argument that a girl was ready for marriage by the age 10.

[Talius Brute]

Arby

I do believe that you are making complete sense!

Now, can you please teach ICEtea et al how to do this.

[Arabian Princess]

Prophet Mohammed became a prophet at the age of 40, and they did not consider him old!!

[IceTea]

Originally posted by Arabian Princess

Well the only answer I could give Mr Pino, If I deserved heaven in the day of judgment (Ameen), I will answer all your questions !! :)


But maybe he will be in the hell, so it will be useless for him anyway.

[sanwin25]

What was the average life expectancy 1400 years ago ? 40 would definitely be in the 'old' category.

When muslims defend the Prophets marriage to Aisha at age 6, the argument put forward is that in those days women matured early. So consumating a marriage by the age 10 was not at all abnormal. By this reasoning, a woman at the age of 30 would certainly not be in the prime of her life.

[Talius Brute]

Marrying a six year old is child-abuse, at anytime, in any culture.

[Enjoy Ur Death]

salam for all muslims and may ALLAH's anger be on all who works against his holly religion

1st
mr TB, how sure r u that sayda Aisha was at age of 6 ? when u will tell me from where did u get this say and how correct is it we wil discuss further :)

2nd
miss/mrs sanwin25, how can u say that the life expectancy was 40 1400 years ago, it is better to recheck this again ?

3rd
my old discusser, mr pinnochio, i am 100% sure this time that u r not looking for an answer for u were not thinkning at all what u were typing, who knows may be u had some of the drugs u wrote about .. just kidding :)
however,
let me show that u really never understood the islam :) , did u try to ??


3) Gay martyrs - do they get same sex partners? Or since sodomy is a sin in Islam, do they get opposite sex virgins? If they get opposite sex virgins, do they have to sleep with them or can they just have them hang around doing house work?
posted by mr pinnochio

by the way mr pinnochio, how long is ur nose now days, be careful man :)
a)
do u really think that gays can be martyrs ?? if i refuse u to be from my fellowers then my rules don't apply to u , right westren mentality ? i am pretty sure with the all knowledge u have that u know that gays r not accepted in Islam :) ... try again :)

b)

6) And there there is the issue of pregnancy - do these virgins get pregnant? Is there birth control? If we figure this out we will we solve the abortion issue once and for all. And what a bout the kids - you go to heaven to change the diapers of 72 woman. Hell may be better

wow mr pinnochio, let me tell u few things :
#) if u got a company of dipers then try hard to get an agence there, it might be ebnificial for u :) .
#)well, regarding birth spacing, don't be afraid man, we don't have taxes as u in westren countries so this not sn issue
#) about pregnancy don't worry again, u may choose sterile ladies :) does it sound great for u ...
#) u know man, u really reflect the sexual mind of the west ... ican see why HIV is mor common in ur countries, keep it up :)
#) finally , let me tell mr pinnochio, u don't have to bothr ur self with all these stuffs, do u know why man ? so simple an i am sure u know it for u know alot about islam ... the answer is YOU WILL NEVER BE CLOSE TO THE HEAVEN .... sorry, i don't mean any thing personal but this is what islam says, any one who doesn't believe in the islam is IN HELL :) ... so, i will be waiting for a new thread from u asking about the hell :) . i 'll be happy to tell u more about it :D

[Enjoy Ur Death]

4th

7) Do you sleep with the 72 all at once or one or a few at a time? Does viagra work in heaven?
wow, wow .... i told u man a pure westren sexual mentality :) .. well, i will not answer this Q for no place for u is for u in there ;) ... try smth else

5th

4) Married martyrs - do they get 72 virginal versions of their wife (wives?) - or is that muslim hell?
well man, we muslims trust and love our wives, but u westren, u have sex with them and then take the permission in the churg to kiss them ... i think we r more developed than u in this issue .... so, no point of discussion here :D

6th

5) From the reward of 72 virgins, we can assume that in muslim heaven there is sex. Does anyone know whether Christianity or Judaism has views on whether there is sex with heaven, and if so with whom?
well man, this Q is not for muslims so any one other than muslim can answer ... on the other hand it means that u believe in no religion , according to the islamic say u will : ( åã ßÇáÃäÚÇã Èá åã ÃÖá)
sorry, other members can translate this for u for i don't have the english version of the holly Quran :)

7th

8) And does each martyr get 72 virgins or are there 72 virgins for all the martyrs? In this later case, over the last 1500 years with tens of thousands of martyrs, arranging the virgins' schedules might be a bit difficult. If one martyr kills another martyr, what happens to them?

i told u man, a pure sexual westren mentality :) i am not surprise at all for u guys there live as animals having sex as a snack ... gooe, this will makes the researches of HIV faster in ur countries ... keep it up ...
do u really think that people share ladies ... poor unethical sexual westren mentality ... i will not comment on this man
by the way r u chemist ... may be u r a physics teacher ... either way u seem to be terroublly not having any common sence or no knowledge about islam ... do u know in heaven no one kills each other :) .. new for u !!!! read more ok

so after all this what i would say is that u r waisting ur time and my time .. try some other threads, may be we meet there again ...
have fun till that time and keep thinking about new ways of having sex in the HELL not in the heaven :)

[Mr Tickle]

gays are not allowed in Islam????????????????

You deserve a warning for this

[Talius Brute]

IceTea?

But he was also rumoured to be a girl at one stage, and someone, I forget who, wanted to marry her.

[Orion]

Mr P and TB,

You're both really out of line, it's obvious that you visit this board just to Islam-bash, to pick on Arab kids whose English is distant second language, and try to make yourselves feel secure because of your lack of religious security.

More so, use of those advantages/and issues AND the fact that most moderators are trying to be neutral ... help you to confuse arguements and let them go off in tangents when an Islamic-based or Arab-arguement wins, so you're equally bad losers as the ones you point your fingers on this board.

This is a MUSLIM and ARAB board, if you want to lay criticism that's fair enough, but do it in a RESPECTFUL, HONEST, and CLEAN fashion.

You're intentions have to be clear, and honest if you want a question answered... are you here to discuss/learn or mock/be disrespectful?

While I know this will probably fall on deaf ears, I'm willing to give it one more try in civility....

[Talius Brute]

Bravo, v decent of you Orion

I don't come here to Islambash (ins't that a place in Pakistan)
But sometimes people say things that don't make sense, and I feel it my duty to point these things out.

[Arabian Princess]

TB,
your duty to point out the things that you feel does not make sense is differnt than insulting a religion or a race. I am nto refering to a certain post of yours but I mean genersly.

[Enjoy Ur Death]

yes mr pinnochio, gays r not allowed in islam ...why, do u htink u lost ur chance in joining to islam ?

thank ALLAH that u r not the moderator over here to give me warning in telling u what islam believes in ... try in a westren sabla, it might work there .

[Arabian Princess]

Enjoy your Death,
That was a warning from Bimzzori to Mr Pino because he wrote something unacceptable there.
By the way, Mr Pino you have 2 warnings now, and if you continue posting in a disrepectable and arrogant way, you will get a ban.

[Mr Tickle]

silly me

I keep forgetting that you are forbidden to think outside of the box

baa baa baa

[shamsery]

Mr pinnochio & his followers:
Only the penny-wise pound-foolish can raise such question. If you want to get the answer your question, please raise those questions, which will help you to understand holly Quran. We can proceed for the comparative study with other books. There is not a single word in the Holly Quran, which contradicts with the science of to days. Why you do not try to find out? You are requested to put your question as much as you can. Please look at sexual rules of conducts in the Pentateuch (which is the Greek name for the five books of the Old Testament.). So much for the idea that the Bible condemns all sex outside of marriage too.

[Mr Tickle]

and sheep must follow

[shamsery]

Are you afraid to discuss ?

[Talius Brute]

Sham

the Old testament and the New testament are different things, hence the different names etc

I know that's tought to understand but Jesus actually changed the way of religion hence Christians are Christian, not Jewish

Unless of course we should discuss Islam from the rules of pre-Islamic arabic faiths?

[shamsery]

Mr. Talius Brute,
First of all I like to remained you that my name is “Shamsery” not “Sham” and it’s not a fake name.
I tried to bring this information to your notice that Bible also does not support sex without marriage only.
Thank you for your nice posting.

“ Old Testament and the New Testament are different things, hence the different names etc”
Would you please explain and help us to learn. How are they different? Is these are not integral part of the Holly Bible?
Quote: “I know that's tought to understand but Jesus actually changed the way of religion hence Christians are Christian, not Jewish” Unquote.
Could not understand the word “tought”. Suppose taught or thought. What you please like to mean?

Quote: “Unless of course we should discuss Islam from the rules of pre-Islamic Arabic faiths”? Unquote.
From where you like to discuss. Prophet Devid , 1000 B.C, Prophet Abraham 1800-1850 B.C or from Prophet Adam.

[Talius Brute]

'how are these different?'

do I really need to answer that

'integral parts' , uhuh, but integral of Bible not of religion

'taught'


happy to discuss from anyone of their points of view.

[shamsery]

What is the problem if you write something on Bible?Please take the trouble and obliged us.

[Talius Brute]

Shamsery

In Christianity the old testament is viewed the same as in Islam, it is respected but is counted as a message that has been superceded. IN fact it has less standing than in Islam, as Christians do not believe in Adam and Eve, the Creation etc.

PLease try to understand basic concepts.