can't forgive myself!!!

[Dr N]

My problem is that I can never forgive myself when I do something wrong. Sometimes it would be something very silly that wouldn't require much thought, I would just keep on thinking about what I did and I keep on blaming myself. My friends always tell me to chill, everyone makes mistakes, and I know that, but still I just can't get it out of my mind, I try to forget but it's not easy, I get all these weird ideas, what do you think I should do?

[Arabian Princess]

Dc N, I think this is a very common problem.
Many people fall in the same trap and cannot forgive themselves for the slightiest mistake they make. I am one of them. I remmber things I did when I was 12 and still beleive I shouldnt have dont it that way ..

But I beleive life goes, we should learn to trust our selves more. We should learn that people make mistakes more than us.

Can I ask you a question? are you the elder within your sisters and brothers?

Coz if you were that explains alot. you were given a responsibility and maybe you were taught since younge that you should not make mistakes so your younger brothers and sisters would learn from that. I am in the same situation :)

[Bimzoori]

Good that you posted your problem Dr N, coz I think you need to chill BIG TIME ;)

well, you should always keep in mind that we are human beings,,and humans are not infallible..no one is perfect, and we are all prone to commiting mistakes on daily basis... This is why God has given us the oppertunity to repent, and we are told that the doors of repentance are open to the very last minutes of our lives on Earth..

I think it is considered a good sign that a person reflects on what he has done in life..and its a good thing that you think of whta you have done wrong..this gives you the chance to repent and also to reconsider what you have done and thus not fall in the same trap again..BUT, you shouldnt over do it ( which is your case)..you should always have hope in Alla's Mercy..as our prophet has taught us that the best amongst those who commit sins are those who repent and return to Allah for His forgiveness....

see, having made a mistake isnt a problem..the problem arises when you do not learn from your mistake...As this life is a big test for us, we should make use of our good and bad experiences..

Always have a postive look on life, and dont let teh past have an adverse effect on your present and future life..what happened alrealy happened and there is no way you can change the past..

[Najah]

Exactly bimzo0ri EXACTLY.
ITs true 100% of what u said above.

[man]

1000 Salaam Dr. N :)

I have exactly the same problem. I read the replies hoping that I can find a solution for it.

I always blame myself for any tiny mistake no matter what mistake is that. Mistakes in the exam paper, overspeeding , during my deal with people... etc.

I am not 100 % recovered of this problem and i tell you frankly that the only things holding me from taking a serious solution is my fear from turning to be careless although I still feel I am somehow careless.

so the best cure for this,so far, is to look at the others who also commit mistakes worse than I do and they are still cool, one more ueful step, I am trying to get myself used to spontaneously accept the first mistake and getting mad and upset if the same mistake is repeated. so, so far, I credit myself that i havben't committed the same mistake twice which I am very proud of, sorry about this.

But still I wish if I could tolerate mistakes more than I can.

[Dr N]

Thanks all for your help, these are all useful tips that i can follow.
Man, I agree to what you said about looking at other people's mistakes and most of the times I realize that what I have done is nothing compared to that! No one is perfect, we all make misktakes but we should learn from them.
"When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it". I'm trying to believe in this quote, the good thing is probably the lesson learned and the experience gained. To be honest with you, I'm not recovered from this problem either, but I'm still trying..