What about a thread where the members can smile...or laugh :D everyday?

Jokes, humoristic pictures, loOL stories, anything funny are all welcome here!


<img src="http://dragonnet.hkis.edu.hk/ms/msezinearchives/E2kv3i3/humor/humor_splat.gif"width="300"height="150"><?img>

Computer Gender

Women claim that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.:D

2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.:gap:

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.:rolleyes:

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.:D

Men concluded that computers should be referred to in the feminine gender because:

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. :lost:

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.:angre:

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for retrieval.:wink:

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. :p

LOOL..
i feel what u have said .. is alll true :D:D:D
thats nice .. i cant think of one now to post it but inshalla i will soon ..

If you are ready to twist your neck a little...:D

Before and After Marriage

http://www.laughnet.net/archive/toons/befmar.gif

See is a Sabla that performs SAFE ... TWISTING: so need for that:

Orion!!!! How did you do that? :D ....you know we always have Dr Fahad, Thug and nurse Miss Naughty to cure any neck pains :wink:

Anyway, I thought of posting a political joke, and who else can make us laugh than the one and only Mr.Bush...


Bush's Advisors

G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid. So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, "Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you."
She conference calls Tony Blair in and asks, "Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

Tony Blair replies, "It's me!" and hangs up.

G.W. Bush then calls D. Cheney and says, "Dik, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

And Cheney says, "Wow, that's a tough one. Let me get back to you."

So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

And Colin Powell says, "It's me!"

So Cheney calls Bush and says, "It's Colin Powell."

And Bush says, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!" :D :gap:

X-Press, those jokes were really good;)......especially the computer one:p

Ahhhh im tired ..oufff
Let me take a breath ..loool
U know why?? So I can imagine the second picture of AFTER MARRIAGE :eyes: .. I climbed above the chair and put my head up sid down ..lool thanx God after all that I got it and I saw the old poor lady.. but tell me x-p do u feel life after marriage can cost all that??? I didn’t experience it yet soo what do u think :p I know away from the topic..
By the way I liked ur jokes a lot …
And hey orion why didnt u say from first rather than doing all that :angre:

Wife:You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other :D:D
Husband: You tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth :D :rolleyes:


:Mary: John says I'm pretty :rolleyes:...Andy says I'm ugly :angre: what do you think, Peter???
Peter: A bit of both...I think you are pretty ugly :D

Lo0o0o0o0ooL lo0o0ol
Nice ones people :D
atleast made me laugh.

> > What's the best form of birth control after 50?

> > > Nudity

> > >

> > > What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?

> > > 45 kilos.

> > >

> > > What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

> > > 45 minutes.

> > >

> > > What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

> > > Through his chest with a sharp knife.

> > >

> > > Why are men and parking spaces alike?

> > > Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are disabled.

> > >

> > > Why do men want to marry virgins?

> > > They can't stand criticism.

> > >

> > > Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and

> > > good looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.

> > >

> > > What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year,

> > > the dog is still excited to see you.

> > >

> > > What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same

> > > urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

> > >

> > > What is the biggest problem for an atheist?

> > > No one to talk to during orgasm.

> > >

> > > Why does the bride always wear white?

> > > Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and

> > > refrigerator.

> > >

> > > A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in sixth grade.

> > > Who has the biggest boobs?

> > > The blonde, because she's 18.

> > >

> > > Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

> > > Ask your Mom.

> > >

> > > How do you know when you're really ugly?

> > > Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

> > >

> > > How do you know when you're leading a sad life?

> > > When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Lets just be friends."

> > >

> > > Why did God create alcohol?

> > > So ugly people could have sex too.

> > >

> > > What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you

> > > sure it's mine?"

> > >



> > > Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a retarded baby? They

> > > named him Sum Ting Wong.

> > >

> > > Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

> > > Breasts don't have eyes.

> > >

> > > What's the difference between a Japanese zoo, and an Australian zoo? A

> > > Japanese zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage,

> > > along with a recipe.

:D :D LoOl Bimmi and fatak nice one.

Here for today:

Understanding computer technology

http://jokesnfun.com/cartoons/225.jpg

LOL X-P :D :p u really have time to find this good jokes.

Good work, well done :color: :color:

:D you are really doign a great job X-P keep it up ;)

Enjoy this one...:)

The Devoted Wife

A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now he had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to his senses, he motioned for her to come near him.

As she sat by him, he said, ''You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?''

''What, my dear?'' she asked gently.

''I think you bring me bad luck.''

:D

Econo-Joke
http://cagle.slate.msn.com/news/wallst/wallgifs1/parkerhjk.gif
(by Jeff Parker, Florida -- From Florida Today)

http://www.arabnews.com/system/html/cartoon/110702.jpg
(by M.Kahil from arabnews)

I decided to revive this thread with one of my favorite cartoonist,
Mr.Kahil of arabnews

http://www.arabnews.com/system/html/cartoon/040902.jpg

Do not hesitate to post anything here (jokes, pictures etc..)
which can make all of us LoOlz.:)

-a blind man went to the airport to meet his father he kissed his bag instaed of him.....
-blind man had his salary at the end of the month and he put it in his friends pocket.....
-there is a blue point on the wall what do u think that will be ?....its an ant wearing blue jeans.......
-a boy said to his dad ...dad i wanna study outside ...his father replied let your mom put your bed in the garden......
-a lion ate an old man teastes strange why......coz he is crispy ......
-there is a lovely jock in jell why......cos it killed lots of people.....
-once a boy with a bar of sweety on his hand waiking with his mother on a street .... a pice of the sweety fall on the ground he wanted to pick that up and his mother whispered no dont evell has liked it .....after a while the mother fall in a hall and said come on son pick me up he said no coz the evel liked you......
-once a cocroch was sitting next to a gatter why.....coz it was remebering its diving time.....
-a girle her bird passed away she put it on a wordrope why........so it will be close to the heaven.....
- once a teacher said to his student you are the kings of the future ,the lights of the future ....one of the students rised up his arm pointing to his friend who is sleping next to him ....teach one of the lights is dameged.......:gap: :gap: :gap: :D ......

Maha, are those your origanal jokes? did you write them yourself?

some are not clear, did you translate them?:duh:

:)Diet:)
The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

:):)The seven ages of me are :
spills
drills
thrills
bills
ills
pills
& wills.

:)there was 2 drunk men one asked the other when is thursday he answered him :on saturday or sunday ... heheheh


:)"I'm never going to work for that man again"
"Why, what did he say?"
"You're fired"


:)Dennis, Your shoes are on the wrong feet!

Dennis:

But Ma'am, these are the only feet I've got!

I think x-press opend a theard for joks already :)

a blonde and a red head were watching the 10 o'clock news..

"breaking news about a guy who was about to throw himself off a building!"

The two of them started betting on wether he'd do it or not...
at the end ,the man DID throw himself off the building!!!!!


Blonde: well you win!

Red Head: I tricked you! I saw that before on the 6 o'clock news!

Blonde: I saw it too....But i never thought he'd do it AGAIN!!!!!!!!


:color: :D ;) :) :cool: :gap: :kewl: :wink: funny?!

hey plz delet that second post I can't remmber that I post it here :P

Kitty, don't worry, I just joined the 2 threads ;)

this should make you LOL
everybody welcome the gay spiderman

heyyy
that spiderman is really kewl :):)

My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing? "I wouldn't know what to say," she replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife said. Our daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

oh man! Spider man is my favourite super hero!!!!!!!

and u had to ruin that image by making him look gay!
Goodness! he looks so lame! haram! hehehe

Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle.
"I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as
the happiest day of your life."
"But, I'm not getting married until tomorrow."
"I know." replied the uncle, "That's exacly what I mean.":gap: :gap:

heyyyzzz KitKat! I really LOL'ed over that one! keep them coming!!!!!! :) :) :color: :D :p :) :gap:

Tally your score and see what it means at the end.

1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles
5. Coffee shops with table-side jukeboxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Murray Hill 7-5000)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S&H Green Stamps
16. Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with levers
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulbs
20. Beanie and Cecil
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-5 --- You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 --- You're getting older
If you remembered 11-15 --- Don't tell your age
If you remembered 16-25 --- You're older than dirt!




:gap:

TWO BLONDES WITH TWO MICE!

There were two blondes as roommates and they both bought mice. When they got home the first blonde said how are we going to tell them apart? The second blonde said why don't we take one and chop off one of its legs?

But during the night the mouse with four legs said to the mouse with three legs, "That's not fair -- I want three legs too." So the mouse with three legs told him to eat one of its legs. And so he did.

The next morning the blondes were upset about this so they did the same thing as the day before. But again the mouse with three legs ate one of his legs.

This went on until both mice had no tails and legs. Then one of the blondes shouted, "ALL RIGHT. THAT'S IT, YOU TAKE THE BLACK ONE AND I'LL TAKE THE WHITE ONE."


LIKE DUUUUUHHH!!!! :color:

In our Jordanian jokes we use sometimes use a character called ABU ABED

This was the fuuniest joke i could think of about him!!!!!

ABU ABED IN USA!!!!

When he got there, he saw a woman, which he liked very much. Unfortunately that woman was Lesbian. Abu Abed tried hard to convince her to go out with him, but did not succeed.
The woman got fed up at the end and told him: Listen ABU ABED, I do not want to go out with you, I am Lesbian.
ABU ABED replied: What? What does it mean Lesbian?
The woman replied: It means that I like girls. I like to go out with girls, hang around girls and kiss them...
So ABU ABED jumped and started screaming: Me too. Me too I am a lesbian!!!!!! :D

lOooOOlz melon
these are cooooooool

ha3ha3ha3ha3ha3:color: :color: :color:

Someone was having a brain transplant and they wanted to view all the choices. There was an American brain which was for $100.00. And a blonde's brain for $2,000,000. The patient asked why the blonde's brain was so expensive. The doctor replied, "Well you see, the blonde's brain has never
been used before!"

There Were these three women stranded on an island ten miles off shore, two blonde and one brunette.

The first blonde tries to swim back. She swims six mile gets tired and drowns.

The second blonde also tries to swim back. She swims nine miles gets tired and swims back.

The brunette takes the bridge.

:D :gap: :D

http://cagle.slate.msn.com/working/020812/fairrington.gif
(By Brian Fairrington, The Arizona Republic)

http://www.arabnews.com/system/html/cartoon/100902.jpg
(By Mr.Kahil - arab news)

Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a general practice (GP) physcian, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist.

After a time, a bird came winging overhead. The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. "I'm not quite sure it's a duck," he said, "I think that I will have to get a second opinion." And of course by that time, the bird was long gone.

Another bird appeared in the sky thereafter. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. "I'll have to do some more investigations," he muttered, as the creature made good its escape.

Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey's identity. "Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?" The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma.

Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed skywards. BOOM!!
The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him and said. "Go see if that was a duck, will you?"

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.
"Mr. James, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."

"Oh he didn't kill himself," Mr. James replied, "I hung him up to dry."

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."

http://www.arabnews.com/system/html/cartoon/111002.jpg
(by my favorite Mr.Kahil - Arabnews)

http://www.arabnews.com/system/html/cartoon/161002.jpg
(designed on the 16th Oct. by Mr.Kahil)