Holidays: He can't make up his mind!

[X-press]

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[IceTea]

I think u need to be tough with your husband and tell him to make up his mind and not just agree on whatever he say to u, otherwise let him give u the authority to select if he is confused about which place to go. You have also to convince him that its difficult to get flight bookings in the summer, so u have to book in advance.

[FaHaD]

emmm X-press try the other way around... actually this is the same principle that John Nash won the nobel price ( u saw the movie of beautiful mind )....
when the time of holidays come and ur husband asks u to find information about a particular destination, try to make ur self
not intrested and u don't care... but on the other hand just look for the information about the distenation..,..
and when he asks u about wether u did the collection or not,,, just tell him well this yr i am not concentrated i need a holiday for that to feel relaxed.. and tell him pls if we are thinking of holidays let us do it and not to change our mind and if u did change ur mind u will make my condition much worse......

ohhh i am teaching girlz how to be politics , hope my wife won't do that for me....

[MoonChild]

Option #1: make plans and reservations for the first place he shows an interest in. Inform him that he can't change his mind because the reservations are already made, but you'll keep the new idea in mind for next year.
Option #2: make reservations for the vacation of your dreams and inform him of your decision :)

[Snow^Lady]

Choose a place and let him look for the information and do the booking:gap:

[X-press]

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[IceTea]

Or maybe he don't want to spend his money and prefer to keep it, and this is why he is doing this to u to drag u and make u forget about the whole idea :)

[Wanderer]

I think you are what is often called "an enabler".

Since you are part of the problem - allowing him to continue this behaviour - you really cannot complain.

[MoonChild]

Originally posted by X-press
If I am tough on him, he will be tougher on me :sorry:

Why does he play these stupid games with you? Why do you play along? Don't play. don't do his research. Don't make reservations. If he wants to be an *ss, just step back and let him do the work. If he wants a vacation, he will set it up, or start treating you more respectfully.

I know people like that - I used to be married to one. They will play you for as long as you let them - it is a game for them and I'm sure he finds you very amusing.

[Wanderer]

Isn't the best plan to decide on a place you'd like to visit first, then find the things to do and see, and best deals to get there ?

[X-press]

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[Wanderer]

Originally posted by X-press
Wanderer, ...Do I have another choice than to be the "enabler" as you said?

Of course you have a choice - you are a bright, educated woman, and I've seen that you can be strong in your opinions.

How about you and your husband take turns picking the vacation spot and making the arrangements every other year ?

If he remains indecisive on his turn, you will be able to look at him and say - "it seems you aren't taking us on a vacation this year, dear, we will miss the family fun ".

On your turn (the next vacation) you make arrangemments and go. Do not worry too much if he backs out at the last minute. You will then be able to say "it seems you aren't going with us on a vacation this year, dear, we will miss having you there to enjoy it with "

Don't worry about the thousand "what if" questions. There are always a thousand "what if" questions when you need an excuse to not do something.

[X-press]

Very good advices you give here Wanderer and I truely appreciate this from you. Humm....I really have to think of what you said and maybe I should stand stronger.

[Wanderer]

Another way to see the problem is to substitute the word Dinner/Lunch instead of Vacation.

I can't imagine you letting indecision keep the family from eating Dinner/Lunch.



Some problems are often easier to solve when we put them in terms of food and coffee :D

[X-press]

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[Nokia]

hi XP
i guess the best things is you and your husbend to play this game: ODD & EVEN years game
thouhg it will sound stupid to many but it works
in even years you chose the place and arrange everything from A to Z. in odd years let him choses and arange eveything from A to Z .and affter every 4 years both of you open the topick about past 4 years holidays and talking about them while looking at some related pictures to those holidays and try to see which holiday was with the sweetest memories and give he creadit for it.
you can play this game for years and rest from making up mind problem.

[X-press]

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