View Full Version : My man, my girl......
Well ALOT of Oman teens are "In love" or "In a realtionship".
Well isn't Haram?? And why do most of Omani teens and grown ups in some occasions are publicly admitting the fact that they have a girlfriend/boyfriend.
A lot of people do it, and it amazes the level of teens who would lie to their parents saying "I'm hanging out with friends" then go to some place with her boyfriend/girlfriend.
And what irritates me the most is when boys are somehow playing, joggling women, they parents find out about the real them.... No mad fireworks.
But the girl would be in for mad-fireworks.
A Little Lamb
17-08-09, 11:05 PM
its haram mum is like ALWAAAYS some parents kill their daughter/son for talking and hanging with a mysterious guy or woman =0 or punish i actually cant believe KILL!? -TERRIFIED-
surely it's haram to have a relationship between a boy and a girl in Islam and what we hear now about such relationships commonly known as boyfriend/ girlfriend is an imitation of non Muslims namely Christians and Jews.
our Prophet peace be upon him predicted this more than 1400 years ago :
"You will surely follow the ways, steps, or traditions of those who came before you, span by span and yard by yard (very closely) even if they entered a lizard's hole you will enter it." The companions asked, "Oh prophet, you mean the Jews and Christians?" so he answered, "Who else!" [Reported by Imam Bukhari]
Its not just in Oman. Its all over the Arab Countries.
NicoBambi
17-08-09, 11:24 PM
This is called Revolution. :hyper:
Some people might not like to publicize thier relationship, but is it a sin or something??
surely it's haram to have a relationship between a boy and a girl in Islam and what we hear now about such relationships commonly known as boyfriend/ girlfriend is an imitation of non Muslims namely Christians and Jews.
our Prophet peace be upon him predicted this more than 1400 years ago :
"You will surely follow the ways, steps, or traditions of those who came before you, span by span and yard by yard (very closely) even if they entered a lizard's hole you will enter it." The companions asked, "Oh prophet, you mean the Jews and Christians?" so he answered, "Who else!" [Reported by Imam Bukhari]
I don't know that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is Christian doctrine! :p More like a modern innovation, I think. Billy isn't allowed to have a girlfriend. Because we are Christians.
But I want to know: Is a relationship between a Muslim boy and a non-Muslim girl okay according to you?
I recollect when Arabian Princess had a blog post about an Omani princess 100 years ago who had a relationship with a European man and ran off with him to Germany, converting to Christianity!
I think this stuff has been going on since forever among every kind of people. Boys and girls are attracted to each other and they seek so many ways to try to get close... And sometimes they make mistakes.
But romance is not an invention of Europeans! :p
minerva
18-08-09, 12:02 AM
billy's 12 yrs old for pete's sakes (same age as my amy)! why would he want a gf at that age lol. it's not like we're living in the medieval times. there's no rush, plenty of time to study and have friendships first.
But unfortunatly boys and girls do it with out thier parents knowledge.
The think they're in love, why rain on their parade? :)
Girls will only know how to pick the guy who won't hurt her later on without mingling a bit.. that's how i see it.
& guys won't get it messing around out of their system unless they mess around :)
So let us all learn.
Plus, the danger behind not telling your parents is so much more fun than being a goodie goodie. :)
Adds to the fun really.
death rose
18-08-09, 02:08 AM
The think they're in love, why rain on their parade? :)
Girls will only know how to pick the guy who won't hurt her later on without mingling a bit.. that's how i see it.
& guys won't get it messing around out of their system unless they mess around :)
So let us all learn.
Plus, the danger behind not telling your parents is so much more fun than being a goodie goodie. :)
Adds to the fun really.
seriously thtas how you see it ?
i totally disagree with that =s
i know many good guys who never messed around and im pretty sure they never will,they dont have to actually do it or try the thing to stay away from it...do you have to try drugs to decide to stay away from drugs ??
i dont understand the point of this thread..
i dont understand the point of this thread..
Hypocrisy I suppose.
It's always haram and not allowed when it's in someone else's yard. But if its in my yard then oh-err-um, God understands my reasons and my intentions.
;)
I suck at this BF/GF situation :mmhmm:
now, only the bf/gf situation is haram, what about the other things going on in public these days ...
Seniora
18-08-09, 12:45 PM
(To minimise the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, i m using both pronouns "they/We" )
Okay, Even those who do have bf/ gf, they/we know its haram, they/we admit its haram.
Just coz someone's doing it, it doesnt make it NOT haraam.
So whats the point of this thread again?
A lot of teens are going to be in a relationship.
Secret or public.
We all know most of the teenage ones won't last, but they think it will.
So just let them do what they want (cause no one can stop them) and learn.
Black Lolly
18-08-09, 03:29 PM
Yeah we all know how teenagers are, dumb a little outa control and yah.. So let them be they'll grow out of it.. (hopefully! lol)
i dont understand the point of this thread..
So whats the point of this thread again?
My point is why do we do it, when it's clearly haram?! If not in religion, the society.
lol What's wrong with being in a relationship? I think it's just natural for guys and girls to attract eachother.. For those who would like to stay away single/gay/fat and ugly, let's see the day when you are so attracted to a person and vice versa, but you can't do anything about it.. ;)
I suck at this BF/GF situation :mmhmm:
now, only the bf/gf situation is haram, what about the other things going on in public these days ...
One issue at a time. :bored:
It's Haram, these days and to some people religion is so hard to be followed literally that some compare themselves to the worst of the worst to appear better, a girl would go like "Yes I have a boyfriend, but at least I don't do this and that like that girl"...
Seniora
18-08-09, 04:08 PM
My point is why do we do it, when it's clearly haram?! If not in religion, the society.
well its for the same reasons why some of us lie, cheat, steal, etc when its clearly haram as well...
To be in relationship - gives a person a sense of importance, something to occupy his/her mind, nice feelings, having a person text u first thing in the morning, and last thing at night, having a person believe ur the most beautiful creation on earth, ecetera ecetera...
The above mentioned pleasures are the reason people are tempted into relationships.
(i think:think:)
lol What's wrong with being in a relationship? I think it's just natural for guys and girls to attract eachother.. For those who would like to stay away single/gay/fat and ugly, let's see the day when you are so attracted to a person and vice versa, but you can't do anything about it.. ;)
We can always GET A GRIP on ourselves.
well its for the same reasons why some of us lie, cheat, steal, etc when its clearly haram as well...
To be in relationship - gives a person a sense of importance, something to occupy his/her mind, nice feelings, having a person text u first thing in the morning, and last thing at night, having a person believe ur the most beautiful creation on earth, ecetera ecetera...
The above mentioned pleasures are the reason people are tempted into relationships.
(i think:think:)
Everyone has their reasons to do wrong! Cheat to get what you want, steal to get what you want, lie to get what you want. So this is like you said the same as others, but you cannot give excuses to thing you clearly know are haram and live easily with it, unless you, like many others believe you'll live for until the day you decide to "Seek forgiveness" ... Then that's a case where you ignore God's words and the Prophets to follow what you desire.
When you follow a religion you do what it tells you to do, you don't pick what you want to do and then let your nature lead you a way your religion told you not to.
surely it's haram to have a relationship between a boy and a girl in Islam and what we hear now about such relationships commonly known as boyfriend/ girlfriend is an imitation of non Muslims namely Christians and Jews.
our Prophet peace be upon him predicted this more than 1400 years ago :
"You will surely follow the ways, steps, or traditions of those who came before you, span by span and yard by yard (very closely) even if they entered a lizard's hole you will enter it." The companions asked, "Oh prophet, you mean the Jews and Christians?" so he answered, "Who else!" [Reported by Imam Bukhari]
Jewish and Christian families, maybe are having no problems, but its not due to their religion. Their religion prohibits them from doing such things as good as what Islam says. But then what the hell, who is following their religion 100% nowadays? And which religion says that a man and woman can live together out of a marriage? None, not even Hinduism nor does Budhism permit such a thing. There are campaigns, adverts made for men to protect jewish girls, just go to Metacafe and type in the exact words as such Protect Jews, Protect Jewish girls, and so on, you will see a bunch of them.
Prophet (SAWS) didn't predict that there will be boyfriends and girlfriends after 1400 years, what he meant could have been that you would follow them, as of what they did, and what you will be will be like them.
Even in respected western families, they don't allow their children to have all these sort of families, especially orthodox christians and jews.
Its the culture and not the religion that makes the change. In Arab countries, this happens more because of the restrictions implied to it. Has it been like west free life, and one's dependency should be unto him/her self this entire thing would have been different, at least boys and girls would have been friends, rather than getting into a relationship.
By the way, the western culture itself is free because of their set of rules, that gives people the freedom when they reach certain age could be 18 in some countries and some other 21. This has nothing to do with their religion. When people become educated, and policy makers in a nation develop into certain stage, their thoughts, their rules become lenient on certain social issues, that how I see it, or should I say that's my opinion?!
World_Trekker
18-08-09, 05:08 PM
Arabs ( in general ) are the most handsome and the most beautiful people in the world IMO that's why its neccessary for Arab parents to segregate men and women to that degree.
Next to Arabs comes the Southern Europeans, Pakistanis, Iranians and Turkish who are trully blessed with great feature!
I really mean it
^ No we're not :p. But anyways what's that got anything to do with this thread?!
But I want to know: Is a relationship between a Muslim boy and a non-Muslim girl okay according to you?
of course it's not OK all these relationships are forbidden (haram).
the Hadith I quoted of the Prophet peace be upon him sums it all.
Superbia
19-08-09, 05:12 AM
Let people live the way they want. I can't stand how some people love pointing out stuff that has nothing to do with them whatsoever.
Fact HearT
19-08-09, 09:17 AM
Let people live the way they want. I can't stand how some people love pointing out stuff that has nothing to do with them whatsoever.
Even if they against our religion.. . . !! :)
Facts doesn't change according to what the mojority does.
lol What's wrong with being in a relationship? I think it's just natural for guys and girls to attract eachother.. For those who would like to stay away single/gay/fat and ugly, let's see the day when you are so attracted to a person and vice versa, but you can't do anything about it..
you can have a proper relationship by asking for her hand from her parents (or telling him to go to your parents).. and if you're gonna argue that you dont know each other properly then that's what the engagement period is for..
Tinta ..
there aren't that many people who follow religion down to every last thing in their lives..different people do it at different levels and they have their own justifications.. and there are some things that have minimal effects on the person doing them only.. like listening to music or watching movies.. while others have a bigger effect like dating *ruin the girl's reputation and her family's if anyone is wondering.. *
plus if you switch on the tv you'd definitely find something on that encourages these relations (and more) whether its a music video, tv show or a movie.. even kids shows.. the kids get brainwashed and if there's no proper guidance at home then no one should be surprised with the consequences
Fact HearT
19-08-09, 09:28 AM
I recollect when Arabian Princess had a blog post about an Omani princess 100 years ago who had a relationship with a European man and ran off with him to Germany, converting to Christianity!
I think this stuff has been going on since forever among every kind of people. Boys and girls are attracted to each other and they seek so many ways to try to get close... And sometimes they make mistakes.
But romance is not an invention of Europeans! :p
yah,
But that case happened in Africa, Africa that time wasn't 100% under Omani rulers that's why their power wasn't that strong.
Therefore she's from royal family. So SAD... :(
Fact HearT
19-08-09, 09:44 AM
you can have a proper relationship by asking for her hand from her parents (or telling him to go to your parents).. and if you're gonna argue that you dont know each other properly then that's what the engagement period is for..
that when it comes to the serious relation, other than that they run a way.... married word scare them alot :p
plus if you switch on the tv you'd definitely find something on that encourages these relations (and more) whether its a music video, tv show or a movie.. even kids shows.. the kids get brainwashed and if there's no proper guidance at home then no one should be surprised with the consequences
Exactly :yes::yes:
- - -
I find TV's the most danger thief; it’s a thief who can in your house with your permeation. And steal the most expensive things “minds, Morals, behaviors"
Let people live the way they want. I can't stand how some people love pointing out stuff that has nothing to do with them whatsoever.
when my sisters and cousins come home from school telling me that a few of their classmates consider it "cool" to have a boyfriend ( at the age of 11 which i think is not acceptable even in western society) and some of them actually make fun of the ones who refuse to have anything to do with boys then it becomes our business..
the more this thing spreads, the harder peer pressure gets and unfortunately this is seldom in the right direction, you dont hear "you're lucky your parents encourage you to get veiled" as much as "you're lucky your parents let you wear what you want".
Seniora
19-08-09, 11:39 AM
Everyone has their reasons to do wrong! Cheat to get what you want, steal to get what you want, lie to get what you want. So this is like you said the same as others, but you cannot give excuses to thing you clearly know are haram and live easily with it, unless you, like many others believe you'll live for until the day you decide to "Seek forgiveness" ... Then that's a case where you ignore God's words and the Prophets to follow what you desire.
When you follow a religion you do what it tells you to do, you don't pick what you want to do and then let your nature lead you a way your religion told you not to.
umm, did u see me give an excuse in my post?
I was merely trying to answer the question i quoted as to WHY PEOPLE HAVE RELATIONSHIPS WHEN THEY KNOW ITS WRONG?
LIke u steal in order to get what u want,
Teens have relationships inorder to have the wordly pleasures.
Wheres the excuse there?!!
I am not excusing the teens, i am merely explaining as to y they might be doing it.
Take ur time and READ a post before quoting it.
Changing times, effects of globalization, technology, international television! Above all though, I blame lack of original taught and appreciation of self.
zhangmelan
19-08-09, 12:47 PM
Let people live how ever they want. ROFLMAOAAJODJDASJDKLASD
NO!
HELL NO!
one more for luck
HELL NO!
Like this girl who had a bf in oman, now shes pregnant, and is plotting to run away from her home. LET HER DO WHAT SHE WANTS? I DON'T THINK SO.
WHEN SHE BUILDS SOME BRAINS, THEN SHES A FREE BIRD.
TEACH
TEACH
TEACH
Until they are ready, then let them make descions.. NOT WHEN THEY ARE ****ING 12 !
JEEZ U GUYS HAVE NUTS FOR BRAINS ?
Tinta ..
there aren't that many people who follow religion down to every last thing in their lives..different people do it at different levels and they have their own justifications.. and there are some things that have minimal effects on the person doing them only.. like listening to music or watching movies
:yes: I agree with you. We all do different things that actually are not related to our religion or try to crross the limits
.. while others have a bigger effect like dating *ruin the girl's reputation and her family's if anyone is wondering.. *
Don't U think she knows that before getting in that relation and she know
the consequences and should be prepared for it and not just leave to the its minute ;)
no one should be surprised with the consequences
Absolutely :mmhmm: BUT we should not blame the parents for it
proper guidance at home
:o
umm, did u see me give an excuse in my post?
I was merely trying to answer the question i quoted as to WHY PEOPLE HAVE RELATIONSHIPS WHEN THEY KNOW ITS WRONG?
LIke u steal in order to get what u want,
Teens have relationships inorder to have the wordly pleasures.
Wheres the excuse there?!!
I am not excusing the teens, i am merely explaining as to y they might be doing it.
Take ur time and READ a post before quoting it.
Relax, I read your post and like many people who are in the middle of relationships excuse themselves from God, they blame it on the pleasure to be loved and wanted and needed... Blah blah. So to those who ask what's the point of this thread, the point is crystal clear and you know it, what have we become as people of God? Giving every wrong action we make and excuse and then when someone opens the issue we pretend to be blind so or dumb so we will not have to discuss and load a feeling of guilt, you'd rather never talk about it than knowing that it's wrong, What has happened Mohammed :PBUH:'s Umma, we're committing sins and then we make up lame excuses for the sake of our consciences and feel less guilty.
Do you think Allah had forbidden unmarried relationship because he doesn't want us to have fun? Surely not, but because he wants the best for us. It's part of the nature Allah created us with to desire and get attracted to the opposite sex, but with this nature comes a great responsibility of controlling it.
I read a sad post back there, can't recall where.. But a member said "We know it's wrong, and we admit it" What is stopping you stop if you know it's wrong? What is the point of being a Muslim if you know it's wrong and you continue doing it and admitting it's wrong? Unless with this confession of you admitting how wrong it is, comes another recognition that you ignore God's words although you know it's wrong and you admit it?
What are the benefits of such relationships that it's worth to abolish God's command?
Fact HearT
19-08-09, 02:25 PM
Totally agree with Buthy
My point is why do we do it, when it's clearly haram?! If not in religion, the society.
Kids have become influenced heavily by the west, through the media, television and what not. They've also become strong minded and stubborn about things, they want grow faster and be/act older than their age.
The kids make themselves believe that dating is okay because everyone is doing it, they're too influenced to care. Also, most of the boys believe that it's okay for them to be in a relationship, so they go for it when in reality, it's haram in both cases, for the boy and for the girl. Unfortunately, some kids just don't care whether it's haram or not.
Personally, I would say dating is haram because it usually includes the boy and the girl to be alone, together some place. Specially in Oman as some don't want to be seen or get caught.
However, some people are 'together' in a relationship and doing nothing wrong, as in they like each other but they don't step out of line, they don't as much as hold hands. That's the kind of relationship I would say is okay. Unfortunately, this only exists with older people who want to commit and get married. Thus, I don't think teenage relationships are a good idea at all, they should just wait for someone who wants to commit to them when they're older. Patience is a virtue people.
I don't want to point at anyone, but if anyone thinks that you can follow the islamic rules 100% without leaving out a comma, or a full stop, I think that I would want to see that. EVERY human being if he doesn't sin by doing something, then he sins by thinking something, if not by seeing something, if not then by being something, still if not then by committing proper sin.
And I think that is why Islam says every sin a human committs has got different degree of punishment.
I am not an imam or mullah to say all this, but at least I think this is impossible, unless someone is a Robot and has been asked to follow a set of rules that has pre-programmed in its process system or CPU or what we call the Third Brain, Artificial Intelligence.
Seniora
19-08-09, 03:48 PM
I read a sad post back there, can't recall where.. But a member said "We know it's wrong, and we admit it"
i wrote that, and pls read carefully what i wrote in brackets in that post,
Again love, read carefully, and quote well before u try to make a moo point.
Yes having RELATIONSHIPS outside marriage is wrong, and people do it for whatever reasons that they do...
I didnt see the point of this thread then, coz everyone just kept on confirming that relationships of gf/bf is wrong- WHICH WE ALREADY KNOW!
thats when Tinta clarified and asked "WHY DO THEY DO IT IF THEY KNOW ITS WRONG?
thats when i tried explaining as to why people do wrong,..
Nowhere in my posts did i mention that i dont want to talk abt it, or nowhere have i said anything about disagreeing with Allah's commands or ignoring them, and nowhere in my posts was i making excuses or expressing guilt or the lack of it..
I never contradicted anything u mentioned in ur posts,
SO WHAT on earth are u ranting about?!
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