friend or more?

[toofah]

when do you know when a friend is more than a friend?
how many times & for how long can a friend try to tell you something but ultimately they don't tell you?
maybe they just know it will never work?
maybe to say something will destroy the friendship?
what can a girl do in this situation?
maybe I am making something out of nothing?
how to be sure?

[X-press]

Originally posted by toofah
when do you know when a friend is more than a friend?


Toofah, I have an idea about what you are talking about, but I really feel that you need to be a bit more specific.

From what I read, it seems you have a friend, but you are not sure if he has feelings for you which goes beyond friendship. Am I right?

First, you have to be quite sure that he indeed really has this feelings for you and that it is not just your own imagination.

The moment a friend is more than a friend, is when you allow it to be; meaning you allow love to take over your friendship. There is a difference here, compared to "the moment a friend feels more than friendship for you". You will only know it, if he shows you signs or tells you about his feelings.

Before continuing, my first questions are:
1) Is it really what is happening in your case?
2) Do you both feel love for each other or is it only on one side?

[ReVeLuTiOnAl^]

Originally posted by toofah
when do you know when a friend is more than a friend?


Difficult question if the two persons are quite sensetive.
YOu will never know when a friend can be more than a normal friend unless there are some crietria which occured.
TRUST, is the most important thing. You will not talk to a person who doesn't trust you.

HonesT: yes, you get to be sure that the person is honest with you. NOw you may say how can i be sure that i am talking to an honest person? easy, ask him/her a question today relating to his life and see the answer. Ask the same question tomorrow and see the answer as well. I hope this is clear.

Common feelings, ideas and thinking: if the person you talk with can read your mind, can tell what you like to hear and see, can say something which interests you, that's a friend who is more than a normal friend.

Care: A person who is more than a normal friend will always keep in touch with you, will always ask about you when you are late in emails or letters, will always be worried and tries his/her best to get you or talk with you. A friend who ignores your emails or your messages is just a friend and nothing more.



Originally posted by toofah
how many times & for how long can a friend try to tell you something but ultimately they don't tell you?

This depends on what we call plukiness (jara`eh). It may take short time to tell, but it may take long time. A boy may be more optimistic and daring to tell than the girl. you may tell that friend about your feelings of being more than a friend, but it may not be the case to him/her. So always you get to chose the right time. Give it a time and don't push things.

[Najah]

what can a girl do in this situation?
I think u shouldnt do anything in this case,Cause in my view the guys should always start? or what do u think?i think it will be accowrd when a girl starts, I guess u should be more carefull and quite and wait for ur predetermination and see what it hides for u?!
wallla kaif?! what do u think? and i know if he did loved u in that case Love will rule and u will feel it and it will show up someday? an less u tried to stop it, and u should ask him to be honest with you whenever something like this happens avoiding to hust ur self and him, As far as i know LOVe is something really seriouse and never ever try to play with it? this is what i heared?
Alllah ma3aki..

[X-press]

Originally posted by ReVeLuTiOnAl^
TRUST, is the most important thing. You will not talk to a person who doesn't trust you.

Reve, I don't think someone who has some feelings others than friendship need necessarily to trust you. Feelings of love can be quite strange and can be triggered for someone we don't even know....I guess this is what we call "love at first sight". I suppose it is not the case here.

Common feelings, ideas and thinking: if the person you talk with can read your mind, can tell what you like to hear and see, can say something which interests you, that's a friend who is more than a normal friend.

In my opinion, a lot of experienced men as well as woman can read the mind of the person they admire.... tell them nice words and make their heart jump...without necessarily feeling love for you...it can be in fact quite a nasty game, so be careful :(

Care: A person who is more than a normal friend will always keep in touch with you, will always ask about you when you are late in emails or letters, will always be worried and tries his/her best to get you or talk with you. A friend who ignores your emails or your messages is just a friend and nothing more.

I agree completely with you here Reve. If toofah's friend start to develop other feelings for her, he will try to be after her, calling her several times a day, sending her maybe sms, waiting for her attention and getting upset if she ignores him.

Let's hear what toofah has to say... :)

[toofah]

xpress. rev. najah

thank you for your advices all.
I listen to all your kind words.
also I agree with you advice.
since few days last, this problem is solved.
thank you.

[X-press]

:confused: I feel that you cut us a bit short here, but I am happy if your problem is indeed so quickly resolved. Know that we will always be there next time when you need help ;)