Gossiping?

[Najah]

I have a problem that keeeeeeps bothering me so deeeeply.
these things are very normal for some people but it hurts me so bad..
I Feel Sad when I hear people talk about each other and never look at them selves?!
Why people do that? Why people keep hurting others?Do they understand that this is humans over there??!! Why they keeep talking about each other while they nothing much about them?
Just gosssiping and gosiiping for nothing?
Why is that? Are they familier with the word nifaq is 7aram??!!
What is this?!! I mean sometimes people dont deserve what others say about?
Do u think this is a problem? Cause i feel its a terrible problem this is a night mare?!
This is aint a personal problem to me,,,But a general one,,,I reallly whish if people understand that they wont get nothing but dhnoob?!
Is it so hard for them just to shut up?Or Atleast not to mantion names?! As they can talk about it as a lesson?!
Well i know that i dont have to care but this is terrible?!

:mad:

[Bimzoori]

Najah, I also get a headache when people start talking abut others, and get into other people's businesses :mad:

Unfortunatley, some people find pleasure in backbiting and in talking about other people's affairs..

In the Quran, the metaphor given regading this isuue is very interesting..the likeness of a perosn who talks behind his brother's back is just like eating his dead meat..[I cant remember in which verse]

"Obey not every mean, swearer, a slanderer, going about with calumnies, (habitually) hindering (all) good, transgressing beyond bounds, deep in sin..." [Quran 68:10-12]

[ReVeLuTiOnAl^]

najah:

ALl what you said is a bothering thing for faithful person..
Yes.. I do hate it very much... but i hate it more here in UK .. All the time i hear people here when talking like this " hey mate..did u see bla bla.. she was with bla..she did this and that...she is and she is..." and it goes like this most the time.. it annoyes me..

For us, muslims.. as Bimmi mentioned the Quran made me it clear that it is a disgusting manner that every person should avoid it and try not to catch it at alll... it brings sins to those who use it ...

However, sometimes even if we criticise those who talk about others on their behind, still sometimes we forget, and I admit although i hate it very much.. but really sometimes i find myself in the same position!!>. don't get me wrong here,, if i do it, i don't mean it ..but it happens naturall and unrealisably, therefore i immmediately remember its consequences and disgusteness, therefore I stop it and i realise the sin i've committed as a result of that action.. Thankfully, i am nearly given up with this phenomenon and I thank my God very much cause i don't commit it now....

For those who talk on behind of their colleges or friends or even sometimes relatives, we


Must always remind them of its consequences and sins, we should ask them"would you accept it if that person was talking on behind of you"
Surly they'll say no...so advice them always, and remind them with those verses in the Holy Quran and the sins they commit..

[Arabian Princess]

I hate this thing so so so so much !!!
I face the same problem, whenever I am between people they start talking baout each other .. and if I started defending the person they are talking about .. they tell me u dont know!!!
I decided not to hear and close my ears to any thing people goosip about. Let them say whatever they want, it will coem from one ear ..a nd leave on the second ear ..
ofcourse I should not even contribute in any of the gossips.

[Bimzoori]

Ahaaaaaa, I found the verse in the Quran,,

"O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): Nor let some women laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor cal each other by (offensive names): Ill-seeming is a anme connoting wickedness..." [49:11]


And the continuation..



O ye who believe! Avoid suspicion as much (as possible): for suspicion in some cases is a sin: and spy not on each other, nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, ye would abhor it..." [49:12]


Najah, maybe you can remind the people of these two verses once they start engaging themselves in gossiping..if they dont listen, I would say you should leave the place, or else, you would be responsible for defending the person being talked about as part of your duty towards your brother/sister..

[Seniora]

now that is the most irritating thing and many people have this habit.
i think its common in uncivilised people, it also arises from jealousy,
worse of all, it really hurts the ones who are talked about, especially if its not true.
and u know how gossip goes la, as it passes on from mouth to mouth, it becomes more spicy.

as revoloutional says, i find myself in that position my self, ( NOT THE ADDING SPICE PART! ) its just the innocent talk that hurts no one, but we should try to get rid of it anyway.

[Najah]

oh how nice from you people to reply and advice me., And i was so happy to see how u r so intoo religoun. hamdulila.
Well Am trying my best these days to stop listining but hmmmmmmmm,,,,,,
And sub7anna allla this Great holly book containd every single thing in this life hamdulila...
am trying now my best...
and i wish every one here or anywhere can understand such a bad thing,,,
Take care people... As Bimmi said ka2nak takil la7m akheek maytan?!
Allla yi3eeen.

[Bimzoori]

By the way, Najah, the verses I quoted are from Surat Al-7ujurat..:)

[X-press]

What I noticed here in Oman, is that people love to gossip to say bad thing about a person, or most of the time a complete lie which will make that person look really bad. I truely hate it when it is base on an absurd lie. At the end, we have to learn to close our eyes, ears and mouth...

[Don Khaled]

gossiping = *****ing = no life

[Precious]

who ever comes to me and say

" did u hear about his and that"
my replay is very simple

u are free to hear whatever u want to its ur 2 ears and i really dont care about what u hear. very simple answer they walk away when u dont show them atention.

[Sharqawi]

Now it is one of deep sickness that our society suffer from it, which is back biting or vain talk.

Now lets see from my personal experience how did i become over it with those who surrounding me with this habit, very simple Tell politely, but if still, so you have to stop him/her right from begging, I do enjoy my time this days goes most of those around they know that once they are with me they just don’t talk about others, except if it is good thing.
Extra benefit which is more important, that they understand that I hate it for religion back ground, and I do start to hear from them selves that they try to stop back biting.

I want t make a point that you can help them to stop it, if they insist move away, or change the subject with diplomatic way, you might can win them to stop gossips

[Najah]

HMMmmmmmmm :(
yess true indeed sharqawi when u dont want it u wont listin it!But are u seriouse sharq and preciouse and all that says they dont listen!
I mean sometimes humans do fill weak and do listen.are u really ignoring everything! everything! or it depends on the level of the hurtness and the level that its about someone close!
I mean is it true that u never hear those things! Cause am a kind of a person that cant say what she/he feels! And keep jamling all the time avoiding to hurt them! But i show them sometimes its bad but not all the timei can do that..
That was the bad thing cause i want from them not talk to avoid me listining and to avoid this talkless..
I really envy u people for that u can avoid it.I hope that one day people will help me..

[Sharqawi]

najah,

i hope you are najah (cousine),

any way, it seems you show interest of avoiding hurt others by bak bitting them on top of it you hurt your self more (AlGhaiba).

Personally i was exactly like you before and that is the way i started, but i boost my determination by reading more of haddeth which prohibit back biting (Al-ghaiba).

and good luck, practise make you perfect

[Najah]

Hmmmm I'm trying my best sharqawi not to do so! But as if they say il6ab3 yi'3lib ilta6abu3.. I'm trying my best hamdilah..
Hmmmm i hope you are najah (cousine), :confused: .. can u make it much more clear as am so curiouse here :D

[Sharqawi]

Mod,

I did reply for this post my thread been deleted, why?

[Sharqawi]

Originally posted by Sharqawi
Moderator,

I did reply for this post my thread been deleted, why?

[amo0or]

your fingers are not all the same.. thats what i can say.. coz the ppl are not the same in everything and u cant control ppl.

[Najah]

Sure amo0r that its not all the same!
But this is something that a person can control iguess! or what do u think!
Btw i didnt say i can control people, but I wish if they can control themselves :rolleyes:
3al3mo0om i think this is such a disapointing issue that i will never get rid of!as it cant be sto0ped!
And it was something like a hope!
Bte sharqawi what thread are u talking about!

[Bo_3a6^YaaaT]

:o ...aish alsalfah shabaab ...what is going on :D...if u have any question u can contact me at 1-800-911...dont hesitate the results are garanteed :D

[Najah]

AQ0o0l Bo^3a6iyaaat I tried and tried but unfortunatly il-'76o0o06 mash'3o0ola!
So please if u r that Go0o0od i need an appointment! and specially because of its
Guaranteed!

[Sharqawi]

najah,

still i can not get it, do you really like to avoid it, how seroud are you?
I couldn't understand some of your post cos you write in English words with arabic meaning, i am not familier with it
what is
3
and
0,
o,
6

[Najah]

Salam sharqawi,

I didnt get ur point! Do u mean i dont want to avoid gossiping or what!Hmmm I didnt get ureally.
And about the 6 7 thinggy dont worry no arabic english from now on!
But it will be go0d if u learned it :D
2--->hamza
3,'3--->Ain and ghain.
5----->kha'a2
6------>ta'a...6a2
7------>ha'a..7a2.
9 '9--->sad and dhad
and those what i know really!Btween didnt know which cousin UR!
Check ur Message :D i did send u one!

[amo0or]

yeah najah..i agree with u ..thats what i wanted to tell u! leave them as they are .. or if its your best friend u can tell him that u dont like this. but i dont think all ppl will accept it.