The significance of Marriage in Islam

Marriage in Islam is considered to be very sacred and solemn. It is a contract in which God Himself is the First Witness; it is cconcluded in His name, in obedience to Him and according to His ordinances. It is a sign of Allah's mercy, for it says in the Quran,

"For among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect" [30:21]
(a very touching verse!)

In this regard, Islam has laid down certain regulations to give every possible assurance that marriage will serve its purpose fully, amongst of which are the following..


The two parties should aquire a fair knowledge of each other in a way that does not involve any immoral and exploitative behaviour
Man is exhorted to chose his female partener on the basis of her permanent values such as religios devotion, moral integrity, character and **NOT** on the basis of her wealth or family prestige or mere physical attractions
Woman is given the right to make sur that the proposing man is a suitable match, worthy of respect and love, and capable of making her happy . On this ground, she has the full right to reject the proposal of a man whom she finds unfit, as it may break the would-be marriage
Woman has a righ to demand dowry from her suitor according to his means. The injuction of dowry is to assure that the woman is wanted, needed and that teh man is prepared and willing to undertake responsibilities.
Marriage should be made public and celebrated in a most joyful manner (hey, this doesnt mean you can be extravagant :p )
Every marriage must be witnessed by two adults and registered in official documents.
Complete maintenance of the wife is the husband's duty . If the wife happens to have property before or after marriage it will be hers and teh husband has no right whatsoever to any portion (unless agreed by the wife).

thats all for now :)

Inspired from the book "Islam in Focus", editted by me ;)

Good topic, I will add also that the man in Islam is allowed to have up to four wifes providing that treating them equaly.

I was going to talk about that, with more explanation, InshaAllah

I ahve soemthing about the rights of the wife and teh rights of teh hsuabnd, I will post them here tom inshallah.

I got this from an e-mail, I dont know who is the authour but just for teh copy right its not me :)

THE HUSBAND'S DUTIES

A husband is responsible for the protection, happiness and maintenance of his wife. He is responsible for the cost of her food, clothes and accommodation. Although she may have to cook, he has to buy her the raw materials and cooking and kitchen facilities, as may be required and applicable. He may also have to buy her two sets of clothes or more each year, providing the types of clothing suitable for the seasons.
A wife is also entitled to a comfortable, independent accommodation, suitably furnished and provided with basic sanitation facilities. She is not obliged to stay with the husband's parents or relatives, as he is not obliged to live with hers. She is also entitled to enjoy herself with her husband in a relaxed atmosphere, free from the embarrassment caused by the presence of another adult in the household. The cost of smoking or of a forbidden fruit or drink is not to be provided by the husband.

In addition to providing these material needs, a husband has to be kind, understanding and forgiving, and must treat his wife in a tender and loving manner. He not only should avoid hurting her but should bear with her if she ever does something disagreeable, so long as this clemency does not spoil her and she does not habitually behave out of bounds.
The Koran reads: [...and treat them [women] kindly. [IV, 19]

It is further recommended that a husband be relaxed with his wife, and cheer her up with his humor or by making agreeable jokes. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, in spite of his lofty status, used to play with his wife. He ran in competition with Aishah. Sometimes she won, and other times he won.
The Prophet also used to say, "Surely God does not love a rough person who is boastful, and rude to his wife."

It is of supreme importance that the husband endeavor to handle the matter of sex relations with skill, care and understanding. He should not regard his wife as an object for his own enjoyment alone but as a partner with whom he should always seek mutual bliss, satisfaction and fulfillment. He should always approach her with love and tenderness. In the early stages of marriage, especially in their first experience on the wedding day, he has to be particularly gentle. The husband should always have due regard for his wife's feelings and should endeavor to let her reach the degree of full satisfaction in this respect.

A husband should also see to it that his wife has sufficient knowledge of her religious obligations and encourage her in observing her devotional duties. Of special importance are the rules pertaining to the menstrual period. During this period, as well as during the period of postnatal discharge, the obligation of mandatory prayer is lifted; and coitus is forbidden. The prohibition of coitus is lifted when the blood discharge has stopped and the woman has had the ablution of a full bath.

A husband should not harbor doubts or suspicion about his wife unduly. Jealousy is indeed a natural element; and a husband is not to be too indulgent or to remain indifferent in reasonably provocative situations, and surely must guard his wife against all corruptive influences. Yet he should not allow fanciful thoughts to engage his mind and should not behave in a spying manner toward his wife. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said:"There is a type of jealousy which God loves and there is another type which God hates. As for that which God loves, it is the jealousy which is provoked by a legitimate cause of suspicion; and that which God hates is the jealousy which is unduly aroused "

If the wife becomes pregnant, her husband should display greater consideration for her and should do all he can to alleviate her discomfort. When she is delivered, he should be grateful to God for her safety and for what God has beneficently graced them with. If his wife has been delivered of a male child, he should not go out of his way to show his pleasure; and if it is a female, he should not at all feel disheartened. After all, he does not know which is better for him.
The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, says:Whoever is graced with a daughter and treats her well and lavished upon her some of the favors God has bestowed upon him, she will be a protection for him against the punishment of the Hell Fire. Whoever brings home some good things to his children, it will be counted as a divine charity for him. Let him begin by giving the female ones.
Whoever cheers up a female child shall have the merit of him who weeps out of divine fear of God; and whoever so intensely fears God, God will protect him from the Hell Fire. Whoever has two daughters or two sisters under his care and treats them well, he will be my companion in Paradise."
A child, however, should be given a good name, even if it is delivered in a miscarriage. And shortly after a child's safe birth, the full text of the call to prayer should be recited in its right ear, and the short one in its left ear. It is recommended that a boy be circumcised on the seventh day of his birth, excluding the day of birth itself.

It is important to point out that it is forbidden for either the husband or the wife to spread any of the secrets of their bedroom to anyone outside. As the Prophet said: "Verily among the worst people before Allah on the day of Judgment is a man who approaches his wife sexually and she responds and then he spreads her secrets".

The Wife Duties

The first task of the wife is to create a home a soft relaxing atmosphere in which she and her husband can live together smoothly, happily and enjoyably. The way in which this is to be achieved depends on her taste and their means and upon prevailing values and conditions.

A wife must be faithful and devoted to her husband. Her loyalty is due to him first, even before her kin. She should avoid associating with undesirable or suspicious elements and should not entertain alone any male friends.

The management of the household is the wife's primary responsibility. She has to take care of meal preparation, house-cleaning and laundry. Whether she undertakes these tasks herself or has them done under her careful supervision, it is her task to manage them in the best interests of the family. She may expect some cooperation from her husband, but this should depend on what he can afford to do. What is important is the mutual goodwill and love which will no doubt stimulate each party to alleviate the burden of the other as much as possible.

The wife should not be too demanding; she must be contented, and appreciative of any kind gesture her husband may extend to her. She should not insist on buying expensive clothes or luxurious pieces of furniture beyond her husband's means.

The wife should take care of herself in order to appear always cheerful, charming and attractive to her husband. She should always smell good and may reasonably apply cosmetics but should avoid excessive use of it. Such excess is not only financially unwise but also psychologically harmful. It makes her beauty appear to be merely artificial.

In managing the household, the wife should economize and avoid extravagance. She is not to give of her husband's wealth except within the degree he approves of. Whatever she gives within this degree, she will share in its divine reward; and what she gives away beyond it will be to the advantage of her husband and to her own disadvantage on the Day of Judgment.

An objective analysis of the above outline of the mutual rights and obligations of a husband and wife as set out and stipulated by Islam for the guidance of its adherents reveals the following facts:

The husband-wife relationship is to be based not on dry legal rules or decisions of the court but on mutual respect, love and regard.
The husband is alone responsible for the entire cost of, and the wife is the mistress of, the household. The objective of each is to serve the other and to provide to the other means of comfort, enjoyment and happiness; and the aim of both is to achieve optimum bliss for them selves and to contribute through their offspring to the perpetuation of the human race.
A woman is not a chattel or a blind follower but an equal partner. However, her soft nature, her beautiful natural role as the partner who is to provide more for the sexual attraction and excitement, her monthly menstrual discharge with its attending psychological and physical adverse effects, her childbearing and child-rearing--all these natural considerations, not a male dictatorship as has recently been contended, have made her the dependent but respected, virtuous and beloved partner.
Within the framework of the above basic considerations, and within the Islamic flexibility which has regard for custom and prevailing traditions, consistent with the moral values of Islam, the couple may choose any type of arrangement for the distribution of their mutual responsibilities in order to meet their needs as they may see fit in the conditions prevailing where they live.
An interesting point which emphasizes that the wife does not lose her own independent character on getting marries is that she always retains her full maiden name. So Miss Nancy Jones on her marriage to Mr. Martin James is called Lady Nancy Jones and not Mrs. James. She may be called Lady Nancy Jones, wife of Mr. James, but not simply Mrs. James. This point is significant, as it expresses both a wife's greater freedom under Islam and her continued relation with her own family

Hope you will benefit from it

Nice posts, Princess,

I am sure there are many different ideas on relgious observances, but the need for mutual respect and understanding is I think universal.

One specific question about marriage in Islam: Is it acceptable for a woman to decide that she wants to work for a living, even if here husband would rather she was at home. Likewise, does a wife retain the right to decide if and when she wants to have children?

I imagine that most sensible people would discuss these preferences before they were married: A man should not marry a career-woman if he wants her to play a more traditional role; an ambitious woman should not marry a man who wants to 'chain her to the kitchen sink'!

But is there any specific guidance on this, any Hadeeth on working women for instance?

What I know is that before the marraige takes place, the wife can put anything in the marraige contract (to us marraige is life a contract between the husband and a wife) .. she can ask him not to marry another one, she could ask him to allow her to wrok .. she can even ask him to get her a maid if she does not want to work at home.
But I guess that has to be brfore the marraige.

intresting old thread, hope new members can add something to it :)

What a Topic ... :bored:
I don’t think that marriage is Necessary Now Days...


1-People Prefer to get married from a well-known family
2-who would like to marry a Baysar ?
3-when we poor people get married our life turns into hell on Earth.
4-people now days wanted to get married just to satisfy their desires there is no purpose to educate children.
5-i prefer to stop my sexual feelings than to involve in some thing called marriage.

Just one more question my dear members… I hope that you will get my point..
If I died and I did not get married but In the same time I was a faithful man will I go to hell? Just because I didn’t get married?

Waiting for a wise answer ... Ice Tea or Bimi or AP ....

:confused:

Originally posted by METAL PRIEST

If I died and I did not get married but In the same time I was a faithful man will I go to hell? Just because I didn’t get married?


well no one is to judge wether u will enter hell or heaven ..
I never heared that not getting married is a sin!
though Islam and the Prophet encouraged marraige coz its the nature of all Humans.

marriage or marriages? What goes on the second marriage and 3rd and 4th is one go for?

can a women really put that on a contract?
that she wants a maid and that the husband can't marry a second?

people can't gain anything without sacrificing something.
you must present something of equal value to gain something.

Nice Quote