I was talking to someone this weekend when she mentioned that she doesn't feel her husband is supportive enough because he supports her needs not by working hard, but because his family are rich and he "sort of" does nothing for living.

Don't get me wrong. He's not a high school drop out. He finished high school, went to one of the best universities but when he got back he decided not work because his parents assigned part of their income to him and with that money, he supports his wife.

Thinking about it, as long as I am being supported in a lawful (halal) way, I don't think I'd point it out as a negative side of my husband and don't feel good about it.

What do most sabla women say about this?

Does you husband need to work his @ss off to feel good and appreciate what he does for you?

Men, anything you need to say?

I will be thankful for him and his family for supporting us and appreciate it. Despite that I will try to convince him to do some productive work, related to his hobbies and interest. If he doesn’t know what he likes doing when you ask him? You can be the observer. See what he is doing when he is idle and out of it give him some ideas to work on. Overall, it will be on your shoulder to keep him busy in something productive. Cuz if he falls in boredom phase, he may start doing distractive actions. As they say in arabic " الفراغ مسفدة الشباب " being idle spoils youth.

He should eventually either work in the family's business or start his own, because he's just a leach right now

I need a husband who has a purpose in his life .. I wouldnt want a brat who just sits home all day, or in coffee shops and doesnt use his brains.

If he has some other creative way of "doing somthing" then I wouldnt mind .. but a guy without a goal is boring!

Who said work is only needed for the sole reason of putting food on the table?

I would never give my son a penny if that would turn him into a couch potato... I wonder what kind of personality, interests, and social/career experience those people build in their lives…

I need a husband who has a purpose in his life .. I wouldnt want a brat who just sits home all day, or in coffee shops and doesnt use his brains.

If he has some other creative way of "doing somthing" then I wouldnt mind .. but a guy without a goal is boring!
^^

I'm with AP.

A guy with no ambition or dreams.. who is unproductive and has nothing to do all day, day after day after day.. and likes it that way.. :no:

That's just being lazy.

i hope he does some voluntary work at least, not sit around and smoke sheesha and drink coffee all day.

If he's comfortable doing it this way, then who am I to complain? Isn't love part of accepting your spouse the way he/she is? If this is the way he wants it, then so be it. :)

If he's comfortable doing it this way, then who am I to complain? Isn't love part of accepting your spouse the way he/she is? If this is the way he wants it, then so be it. :)

Love is very different than marraige .. plus, I would love a person for his intelleuct too .. if he is a person whos conversation is limited due to his limited experience outside the house .. then I dont think he will impress me for long.

Plus, I want a role model for my children .. if he doesnt work .. what kind of message we would be sending to our kids?

Maybe she meant something else when she said: "supports her needs " :dev:

AP, you never know.. Maybe he has interests in other fields, not including money. So as long as he puts money on the table, supports the family, and being able to do what he initially wants. Then where's the harm in this? Everyone is satisfied this way, at least I think so. Then again, different people have diverse expectations.

i dont mind it but unless he dosn something on his own, investments or work on something, like AP said : having a goal!
coz what if his parents lose their fortune ? wt would happen if he cnt depend on himself n work?

so its acceptable to be but he must move his ***** a lil..

AP, you never know.. Maybe he has interests in other fields, not including money. So as long as he puts money on the table, supports the family, and being able to do what he initially wants. Then where's the harm in this? Everyone is satisfied this way, at least I think so. Then again, different people have diverse expectations.

Like I said, if he has some other creative way of using his time .. then I dont mind .. if he is writing a book for example, or if he is intrested in photography and he is using his time effectivly on that .. then ok .. but just to sit there, do nothing .. then thats not the person I would love and want to live with..

Like I said, if he has some other creative way of using his time .. then I dont mind .. if he is writing a book for example, or if he is intrested in photography and he is using his time effectivly on that .. then ok .. but just to sit there, do nothing .. then thats not the person I would love and want to live with..

That's what I meant :yes: As in he doesn't have to work his as$ off, just to appear all macho.

Wow you mentioned the guy's @ss many times lol.

Am with spirit, If his parents left him a good income then why doesn't he use it to start his own business. This way he will increase his income and keep himself busy. I know many guys who depends on their parents and since they get money from them then they don't care about what's coming. They don't even know what they want to be in the future. No ambition at all.

I don't know if its going to be a problem but i think I'll prefer him working and earning his own money. As some of the members said its good to know your partner has dreams and ambitions not relaying on his parents.

I can't respect anyone who does not work or even want to, everyone should be productive and have a purpose in this life.

I was talking to someone this weekend when she mentioned that she doesn't feel her husband is supportive enough because he supports her needs not by working hard, but because his family are rich and he "sort of" does nothing for living.

Don't get me wrong. He's not a high school drop out. He finished high school, went to one of the best universities but when he got back he decided not work because his parents assigned part of their income to him and with that money, he supports his wife.

Thinking about it, as long as I am being supported in a lawful (halal) way, I don't think I'd point it out as a negative side of my husband and don't feel good about it.

What do most sabla women say about this?

Does you husband need to work his @ss off to feel good and appreciate what he does for you?

Men, anything you need to say?

Why she is upset now? She didn’t know that when he proposed to her?
Since he is providing her all she needs and she is not working her ***** off, why she is complaining?
I read one of your posts and you mentioned about 3 trips and all the crazy requests, your threats feel me that you are ignorant when it comes to " Reasonability’s ".Maybe you need to change role for a year with your partner and live his life for a year. Then fulfil his demands in having 3 trips in a year than 1.

Mybe the guy want to enjoy his family wealth at this young age,in his case I think he should! he married to some one whom complaining that she married with a guy with a wealthy family and a guy whom studies in one of the best Uni's !!

like most people said, as long as he's doing something else productive out of his own interest then its fine. I don't want a slacker.

I can't respect anyone who does not work or even want to, everyone should be productive and have a purpose in this life.

I find that extremely irrational :os Not everyone has a career dream; not everyone wants to spend long hours working, and away from their family. I don't think it's right to disrespect a person, just because he/she doesn't want to work. I have a goal in life, but it's nowhere near to working.

To be honest if I was with a man who was a trust fund baby and he did not do anything constructive with his life (he COULD be on a board for a non-profit...SOMETHING)...I would not respect him as a human being.

and he must be really annoying since he has nothing to do....

He should eventually either work in the family's business or start his own, because he's just a leach right now
exactly

and what if something happened and all that money is gone
he would be broke,with no job
and we are gonna be goin through a hard time till he finds a good job and then he might be too lazy for his job since he was used to not doing something at all