That's how long the wife must atleast stay single before she decides to marry again when her husband dies.

In arabic, it's called "3ida".

A family member is going through her 3ida now which got me thinking ..

~ What is the purpose of 3ida (apart from figuring out if she's pregnant or not to know who the father is)?

~ Does she have to stay indoor for all this time (4 months and 10 days) unless she has work/school (necessities) to attend? What are her "outgoing" boundaries/limits?

~ Is it really preferred to spend it at her husband's house?

~ Why is she not allowed to mingle with men during this time?

This fatwa answers some of the questions:

الســــــــــــــؤال:

هل يجوز أن يدخل على المعتدة أولاد أختها، وأولاد خالتها، وأولاد عمتها؟
الجــــــــــــــواب:

لا فرق بين المعتدة وغيرها من النساء فيما يحل ويحرم، إلا في ثلاث حالات وهي: أن المعتدة تمنع من الطيب والزينة، والمبيت في غير بيتها الذي اعتدت فيه، أما بقية الأمور فهي فيها كغيرها، يحرم عليها ما يحرم على غيرها، ويحل لها ما يحل لغيرها، ودخول الرجال ذوي المحارم كأبناء الأخ، وأبناء الأخت، والربيب، ونحوهم عليها جائز، سواء كانت معتدة أم غير معتدة، وأما الرجال غير ذوي المحارم فلا يجوز خلوتهم بها، إلا مع حضور ذي محرم منها، سواء كانت معتدة، أو غير معتدة, لحديث: "ألا لا يخلون رجل بامرأة إلا مع ذي محرم"، والله أعلم.
المفتي: سماحة الشيخ أحمد بن حمد الخليلي

I thought it was just 4 months? :think: I was talking to my mum about this, and she was telling me that she shouldn't leave the house, because it is somehow 7aram for her to meet non-ma7rams (Men she can marry). Also, she was telling me that if she is pregnant and her husband died, then she can't leave the house until she gives birth and 40 days after that! :o I don't know what's the initial purpose, but maybe it has something to do with respect for your spouse, or enough time to get over it. Personally, I'll cry my heart out in these 4 month, and after that I'll make a flip in my life and live my life as if nothing happened.

Actually, once she gives birth the 3ida is over. So even if she gives birth one day day after her husband passed away, then the 3ida is over, and she can live normally again.

I think your mom was referring to the 40 days that every new mother goes through, where she stays at home and is catered to. This is a cultural thing, not religious.

Actually, once she gives birth the 3ida is over. So even if she gives birth one day day after her husband passed away, then the 3ida is over, and she can live normally again.

.

So you are saying if she is not pregnant there is no 3ida and she can get married?

So you are saying if she is not pregnant there is no 3ida and she can get married?

I didn't say that. If she is not pregnant, it is 4 months and 10 days. However, if she is, the 3ida is over as soon as she gives birth (i.e IF her husband dies today, and she gives birth tomorrow, she is no longer in 3ida).

I think your mom was referring to the 40 days that every new mother goes through, where she stays at home and is catered to. This is a cultural thing, not religious.

Yeah that one. Something to do with 7asad I think? I dunno why exactly, it's a cultural thing as you said :p

Well they did not have the technology we have now, so she'd stay in Idda for that period just to be sure if she's pregnant or not.

There was a debate once on how it is unnecessary, since you can find out if you're pregnant or not easily now a days.

I didn't say that. If she is not pregnant, it is 4 months and 10 days. However, if she is, the 3ida is over as soon as she gives birth (i.e IF her husband dies today, and she gives birth tomorrow, she is no longer in 3ida).

Do you have evidence or a fatwa for the second part?

Maybe you are confused with the 3ida of a divorced woman.

Do you have evidence or a fatwa for the second part?

Maybe you are confused with the 3ida of a divorced woman.

My uncle died due to cancer on the 13th of January. He left a wife who was 6 month pregnant at the time. Her 3ida was till she gave birth which was to happen before the 4 months and 10 days period. She delivered her baby girl in early April and her 3ida was over then (instead of mid May as the 4 months and 10 days would have meant).

This instruction was given by the Mufti, but I will see what I can find online.

It's true what lym said, because idda was just a precaution if the woman was pregnant.

But I do not think it's necessary now a days

My uncle died due to cancer on the 13th of January. He left a wife who was 6 month pregnant at the time. Her 3ida was till she gave birth which was to happen before the 4 months and 10 days period. She delivered her baby girl in early April and her 3ida was over then (instead of mid May as the 4 months and 10 days would have meant).

This instruction was given by the Mufti, but I will see what I can find online.

I think you are right, because this fatwa is saying same thing.


الســــــــــــــؤال:

توفي زوجي وحصلت على إجازة من جهة عملي مدتها أربعة أشهر وعشرة أيام، وذلك بموجب قانون الخدمة المدنية، حيث أنني أعمل مدرسة، علماً أنني حامل، والآن الإجازة التي حصلت عليها قد انتهت، فكيف الحكم في مباشرة عملي، وحتى تنتهي عدتي؟
الجــــــــــــــواب:

تنتهي عدتك بوضعك الحمل، لقول الله تعالى: ( وَأُوْلَاتُ الْأَحْمَالِ أَجَلُهُنَّ أَن يَضَعْنَ حَمْلَهُنَّ )(1)، وإنما يجوز الخروج لما لا بد منه، فلا حرج عليك في الخروج في النهار للتدريس وغيره، على أن يأويك الليل في بيتك، والله يوفقك للخير، والسلام عليك ورحمة الله وبركاته.

Here is the support Ice Tea

As for the case of the widow whose husband dies while she is pregnant, her term of `Iddah ends when she gives birth, even if it occurs an instant (after her husband dies). This ruling is taken from Allah's statement…

<And for those who are pregnant, their `Iddah is until they lay down their burden.> (65:4)

There is also a Hadith from Subay`ah Al-Aslamiyah in the Two Sahihs, through various chains of narration. Her husband, Sa`d bin Khawlah, died while she was pregnant and she gave birth only a few nights after his death. When she finished her Nifas (postnatal period), she beautified herself for those who might seek to engage her (for marriage). Then, Abu Sanabil bin Ba`kak came to her and said, "Why do I see you beautified yourself, do you wish to marry By Allah! You will not marry until the four months and ten nights have passed." Subay`ah said, "When he said that to me, I collected my garments when night fell and went to Allah's Messenger and asked him about this matter. He said that my Iddah had finished when I gave birth and allowed me to get married if I wished." (Source; capital and underline emphasis ours)

Source (http://www.answering-islam.org/Quran/Contra/iddah.html)

Lym, this seems to be a statement from answering-islam.org.
It's a site that's blocked by Omantel :D

LOL, what a site to get evidence from!

Lym, this seems to be a statement from answering-islam.org.
It's a site that's blocked by Omantel :D

Really? Why? :os

Anyways here is another source if you want

Widowed Woman Who is Pregnant:

As for the widowed woman whom her husband dies while leaving her pregnant, her waiting period ends with the delivery of her baby. Allah Almighty says,

"...And for those with child, their period shall be till they bring forth their burden" (At-Talaq: 4)

Source (http://www.zawaj.com/articles/1_iddah.html)

Well they did not have the technology we have now,


It has nothing to do with technology because in the past during the prophet :PBUH: time and afterwards as some of the fighters would go out joining wars. If any of these figters died in the war still his wife will go through 3ida even though he is been away from her for more than 4 months and 10 days during the war.

~ What is the purpose of 3ida (apart from figuring out if she's pregnant or not to know who the father is)?

~ Does she have to stay indoor for all this time (4 months and 10 days) unless she has work/school (necessities) to attend? What are her "outgoing" boundaries/limits?

~ Is it really preferred to spend it at her husband's house?

~ Why is she not allowed to mingle with men during this time?

I think the fatwa answered these questions. Before, it was thought that the woman cant go out and cant perform her daily life for this period. They were even asked to wear a '3ashwa here in Oman.
However, it is just necessery for her not re-marry, to live in her husband's life if possible and abstain from perfume and zinah (beatifications).



There was a debate once on how it is unnecessary, since you can find out if you're pregnant or not easily now a days.

The idda is not only about pregnancy .. its a command from Allah and there must be a reason for this specific period that we dont know.

This is also a good explanation and there is a hadeeth:

===============

What is Iddah?
The literal meaning of Iddah is to keep count. In Islamic legal terminology, it is the period after her husband’s demise, in which the woman has been instructed to refrain from getting married again.

The period of Iddah:
According to the directives of Allah SWT, the waiting period for widows is four months and ten days. “And those of you who die and leave wives behind them, they (the wives) shall wait (as regards their marriage) for four months and ten days.” (Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 234 If the widow is pregnant, then the waiting period is till the birth of the child, irrespective of whether it is before the 4 month 10 days period or several months after it. “And for those who are pregnant, their Iddah (prescribed period) is until they lay down their burden; ” (Surah At-Talaq, Verse 4)

What is mourning?
In a hadith the Prophet (SAW) is reported as saying: “It is not lawful for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day, that she should mourn a dead person for more than three days except in the case of her husband whom she should mourn for four months and ten days.” (Muttafiq ‘Alaih)

Mourning is:
1.To refrain from adornment.
A widow observing the waiting period, should not beautify herself in any way or wear ornaments. She should not wear attractive clothes or bright colors. All kinds of make-up including henna and kohl is forbidden; neither can she apply perfume or wear jewellery.
Wisdom: The wisdom of this instruction to adopt simplicity is two-fold: it is done to show respect and honour for the sanctity of the marriage bond and the time spent with her husband; also to avoid the possibility of receiving marriage proposals.

2.To avoid going out.
During the waiting period, the widow should not leave her house except if it is for some important reason (the necessity of which is left to her judgement based on her Taqwa- her love, respect and fear of Allah).

interesting thread!!
I didnt know that 3ida is over as soon as she gives birth ???

Now what if the wife dies how long does the man have to wait before getting remarried?

Nowdays with doctors being able to give tests to see if a woman is pregnant or not why then does the widow have to wait?

I understand that it's Allah's command and all, but I don't understand why it's 4 months and 10 days precisely. Why not a day more or 5 days less for example? Are there any reasons or interpretations behind that?

^^ marianna:

Men hardly wait for 3 days so they click the "Next" button :D

^^^ahhhhh enlightening dear sister! :)

I understand that it's Allah's command and all, but I don't understand why it's 4 months and 10 days precisely. Why not a day more or 5 days less for example? Are there any reasons or interpretations behind that?

Maybe to do with the time the soul is breathed in the baby in his mother womb.

I understand that it's Allah's command and all, but I don't understand why it's 4 months and 10 days precisely. Why not a day more or 5 days less for example? Are there any reasons or interpretations behind that?


You can ask why is it 4 months and 10 days for the widow but only 3 months (or 3 periods) for the divorced??!!


I heard something from friends between time and another, I did not read it personally, that:

1. why the widow 3idah is longer than the divorced: the psychological effect of the death of a beloved husband is more than the effect of the divorced one. The divorced lady would just say thaks goodness finally lol.

2. why 4,10 and only 3: the above psychological effects, have an effect on the productive system of a lady.. and these periods are fairly enough to make their productive system ready to be planted by different seeds.


I might agree that there is a big possibility that these period has something to do with their productive system.. how? We know that for the pregnant lady her 3idah is to give birth!! Giving birth means the productive system is getting cleaned from everything by getting all the blood out of her during the 40 days!!

Also, if we think about how the HIV virus is developed?? it's developed by having illegal sexual affairs with more than one person. This could be another reason!!

I personally, do not go by these explanations or interpretations but I go as they are one of the orders by the quran as the number of the prayers and number of raka3at.. or fasting ramadan but not another month. These things which a muslims is asked to perform and obey.

Just as it is unnecessary for a woman to lay on the bed for 40 days after giving birth; it is unnecessary for a woman to stay in the house for 4 months & 10 days.

And don't jump on me saying it's allah's command.

The difference is, the first is not a verse in the Quran the second is .. you can say its not Allah's command but it is!

And don't jump on me saying it's allah's command.

It is Allah's command

Well, this is the way I look at it...and maybe spirit does also but he has to let you guys know if he does or not...his call not mine.

But I feel back when pregnancy tests were not around God knew best and he knew human beings did not have the technoknowhow to determine sometimes within the 1st few months of the trimester of pregnancy....so it was commanded that a woman could not remarry until she knew for sure she was pregnant or not.

Now God gave mankind higher reasoning and with that comes scientific knowledge. We can test to see when a woman is pregnant by taking a basic blood sample to determine pregnancy do you really really think God would be angry if a woman found out she wasn't pregnant and decided to get married before those months were up?

In countries where blood tests are too expensive for the local population or medical access is not readidly available then yes....I see the logic of God's command but in societies where people can afford and can visit a doctor easily I really fail to see the logic of still having to wait all those months. Now, if the woman is grieving I see no qualms.....myself I probably could never remarry if I became a widow but not all women are like me.

Regardless of the reason behind it, the 4 months and 10 days waiting period (Eidda) is mandatory.

For a non muslim woman, does she marry again after her husband death?

Depends on the woman if she decides to remarry. I said I would not but there are widows who do. My grandmother became a widow in 1974 and never remarried AND never dated. She still wears her wedding ring. How many men can easily do that?

This thread is not about Spirit's beliefs. If you want to discuss them, open another thread! However, if you want to prove it is Allah's command, then do so. Thanks :)

Sorry...I was just clarifying for Ice about some things but mostly is what I think. :D

Well, this is the way I look at it...and maybe spirit does also but he has to let you guys know if he does or not...his call not mine.

But I feel back when pregnancy tests were not around God knew best and he knew human beings did not have the technoknowhow to determine sometimes within the 1st few months of the trimester of pregnancy....so it was commanded that a woman could not remarry until she knew for sure she was pregnant or not.

Now God gave mankind higher reasoning and with that comes scientific knowledge. We can test to see when a woman is pregnant by taking a basic blood sample to determine pregnancy do you really really think God would be angry if a woman found out she wasn't pregnant and decided to get married before those months were up?

In countries where blood tests are too expensive for the local population or medical access is not readidly available then yes....I see the logic of God's command but in societies where people can afford and can visit a doctor easily I really fail to see the logic of still having to wait all those months. Now, if the woman is grieving I see no qualms.....myself I probably could never remarry if I became a widow but not all women are like me. Marianna!!! i could think of another reason which make sense to me atleast:hyper: do u think it is easy for a woman to move on with her life after death of her husband? emotionally..she need long time to recovery

This thread is not about Spirit's beliefs. If you want to discuss them, open another thread! However, if you want to prove it is Allah's command, then do so. Thanks :)

Already proved.

Now spirit needs to prove it is not Allah's command, Thanks :)

Yes...you are correct Florentyna....That is why I said some women need a longer time after the death of a husband and why I myself probably would never remarry. But I think a woman's heart knows.....my grandmother never remarried. She has been a widow now for over 34 years.

Actually, I do find marianna's reasoning quite logical, since I heard it before.

I think there might be another reason behind the 3ida, more of an emotional one ...

ok here's a question, if the 3ida is to make sure wether a lady is pregnant or not , why exactly this reason? And why does it immediatly end after she gives birth?

But I feel back when pregnancy tests were not around God knew best and he knew human beings did not have the technoknowhow to determine sometimes within the 1st few months of the trimester of pregnancy....so it was commanded that a woman could not remarry until she knew for sure she was pregnant or not.


Allah would not specify something very clearly that would not be valid in the future. If the reason was ONLY pregnancy, then a 60 years old woman who doesnt get her periods any more would have been exempted from the Idda during the prophet's day. But, there were only two conditions .. if the woman is pregnant and if the woman is not.

We try to put justifications to Allah's rules .. its good .. but we shouldnt limit ourselves to those justfications that we provided .. instead we should be open to justify it other way, and not try to change the clear rule!

As ToomuchaT stated,

2. why 4,10 and only 3: the above psychological effects, have an effect on the productive system of a lady.. and these periods are fairly enough to make their productive system ready to be planted by different seeds.

This is one of the reasons i believe besides the pregnancy and respect part, moreover, i think with that specific period of time come many reasons that we may not be aware of. God has a reason for everything ! :)

It is not only about pregnancy because even a widowed woman who has not consummated the marriage has to observe the iddah period. There is no way she is pregnant at the time of her husband's death yet she needs to observe the 4 month and 10 day period.

" If a woman is widowed after the contract of marriage is concluded but before the consummation, she is required to observe `iddah for the death of her husband, because she is included in the general address of the verse that reads: " Such of you as die and leave behind them wives, they (the wives) shall wait, keeping themselves apart, four months and ten days. And when they reach the term (prescribed for them) then there is no sin for you in aught that they may do with themselves in decency. Allah is informed of what ye do." (Al-Baqarah: 234)

Also, another relevant point is:

The Divine wisdom behind the legislation of `iddah is very great. Amongst others, a woman observes `iddah to avoid confusion of lineage, to give herself sufficient time to think and decide in case of divorce and allow some time for reconciliation. In case of death, a woman observes `iddah to show respect for her husband and sadness at his death.