Western women also have a very different view of what it means to look after your husband - no way would we get a housemaid to do the cooking, ironing, looking after the children etc - that would be so shaming to us. That is one of the things that my husband loves and one of the main things that his friends and brothers in law envy. They see that these things are done by me by choice and out of love for my husband, whereas many of them rely on housemaid food, housemaid standard of ironing and cleaning and childcare - while their wives sit at home gossiping or shopping everyday. They also see that by his own choice my husband spends most of his free time with us as a family and they realise that we have a love bond that often does not come with aarranged marriages; men are beginning to say 'that is what i want' - what is wrong with that? We all need love and affection, right?
.

It is interesting statement.
Ohhh Oman men are on trouble.

She did not generalize there, she was talking about her in-laws

She sounds like a nice lady

She sounds like a nice lady
She *IS* a nice lady. :D

And most of all, she's right.

The first thing a man grumbles about is just how expensive it is in Oman to have and keep a wife.

.
The first thing a man grumbles about is just how expensive it is in Oman to have and keep a wife.

I bet this tells a lot about Omani women, they are not cheap

Then I am a bargain whooheewwwwww :)

BUT....am pricelessss (awww shucks there Marianna)

I bet this tells a lot about Omani women, they are not cheap
Yep.

Work your butt off to pay dowry, then work your butt off to pay for the maids and the nannies and the shopping and the nice cars .. yep.. certainly not cheap.. or so they say.. :hyper:

I wouldn't know though. I'm not an omani, so I just have to go on the things Omanis tell me. ;)

Then I am a bargain whooheewwwwww :)

BUT....am pricelessss (awww shucks there Marianna)
But honestly, if pleasing or being good enough for a woman meant you had to be loaded.. then you're marrying his money, not the man.

Beachbambi does raise a good point. We don't EXPECT to go to the mall and buy everything in sight while the husband pays for live in maids.

But then, we expect the men to share in the work load. Which might be why some men would eagerly pay a bunch of maids. :D

For myself I prefer an intellectual. I don't want a man who is unable to be financially responsible. If he makes more than me fine but if he doesn't know how to manage his finances then I feel like he is acting like a child. I expect the same of myself. If I was financially irresponsible I wouldn't want a man to marry me either. I expect no more from the man than I would from myself.

I won't base his self-worth off of money but on how he is as a human being, a husband and/or father.

I wouldn't mind having someone come in a couple of days a week but in the end I want for he and I to work things out inside the household.

Work your butt off to pay dowry, then work your butt off to pay for the maids and the nannies and the shopping and the nice cars ..

They are still worth all that, and more

They are still worth all that, and more
I'm sure they. I'm not disputing their worth. I don't think Beachbambi is worth less just because she washes her own clothes and cooks the meals herself.

I just think that some men, who are not financially well off, do grumble about how getting married and having a wife has become so expensive.

Any woman can do that.

Any woman can do that.

Exactly, plus its her duty anyways

I don't get it.

If the man can afford hiring a maid, then what is the big deal? If he doesn't, I totally understand the wife being too spoiled and demanding a maid when she should take care of the house and kids. Some Omani women still take care of her family and refuse to let a maid do it even if her husband can afford it! Or perhaps the maid merely cleans and does the laundry and the wife insists in cooking and taking care of her husband and kids.

Since all my life, I was raised with maids taking care of me and my mother was there to discipline & love me, I don't think of my mother any less for not doing the house chores, she did her part and to me a mother is not measured by how many times she cooked or cleaned. Therefore, when I think of my future, a maid is always in the picture once I have kids and working full time, but I am prepared to do without them if necessary because I do acknowledge that it has nothing to do with my worth as a wife or a mother.

Also, it is not like we can't do house chores. Even though we had maids in our homes, my mother always made sure I knew how to get around without the help of a maid and since I have been sent abroad, I only learned more. So I am okay without a maid, but I would want one when I have kids (no need when it is only my husband and I) whether I am working or not.

And I don't think just because I want a maid in the future means that I am not as good as a wife or mother who does not have maids or the one who does everything at home. To me, it is not measured that way and I hate that implication.

Having a maid in this day and age is a must especially if the wife also works (which should be the way in my opinion), if she doesn't then that's another story and she'll have all the time in the world to look after the house, otherwise I don't blame people who need maids to help them around the house (not do everything though, just HELP).

Omani people are helping those poor maids to have a job and help their families, so it is a win win situation.

If the house is big and many kids around then why not have a maid to help, after all everything will be under the wife supervision.

Any woman can do that.

I don't cook, no way, not for me
But I tried
The rest is ok
I know many Omani ladies who have housemaids because of the kids or they work outside but when needed they're perfectly able to do the job
Am speaking about Muscat, not sure about Salalah

I don't get it.
I don't get it neither, how comes my mother who is an old woman in her 60's will stand in the kitchen breaking eggs & cutting tomatoes to make me scrambled eggs with tomatoes whenever I ask for a breakfast?! :think:

She got a maid by the way :rolleyes:

Mum works, she can't cook, clean work take care of the children ALL at the same time.. it's humanly impossible unless you wanna go insaane or something ! She doesn't "shop and gossip" while the maid is doing everything.. pfft :bored: ofcourse not she barely has time for herself even with two maids..

I just don’t understand why do a lot of people associate the materialistic side of having a family to the other emotional side?!?

Yep.

Work your butt off to pay dowry, then work your butt off to pay for the maids and the nannies and the shopping and the nice cars .. yep.. certainly not cheap.. or so they say.. :hyper:

I wouldn't know though. I'm not an omani, so I just have to go on the things Omanis tell me. ;)
yes and I AM telling ya, it sucks, it really does.
It is very rare to find women in oman who are not materialistic. Dowry payments just keeps on going up and up!
They even put a fixed amuont for dowry which shouldn't be exceeded, but no, families still ask for more.

Money DOES NOT show that a woman is cheap/or expensive, Markov. As a matter of fact, the thought of relating women to money itself would make them sound cheap and can be 'bought'

Money DOES NOT show that a woman is cheap/or expensive, Markov. As a matter of fact, the thought of relating women to money itself would make them sound cheap and can be 'bought'

That was a figure of speech, which obviously both you and Thalia missed

I think its a matter of time adjustment and i'm not only talking about hours, but on yearly basis. if a woman had that in her hands, then she could handle everything smoothly, but then again if she was a spoiled deformed rat who wants everything on a plate of gold then she can take her useless @ss and get the hell out.

It's a strange concept having a maid to me. In the UK generally people don't have maids & the parents (let's be honest, usually the mothers) are expected to cook, clean, wash, iron & look after the kids whilst working.

I have a maid tho haha. I can afford it, so why not?? Plus working 7am - 5:30pm is a long day & the last thing I want to do when I come home is clean.

I do my own washing & cooking though. Get me.

That was a figure of speech, which obviously both you and Thalia missed
I did not miss it. It was an intentional swerve, Mr Markov :hyper:

It's a strange concept having a maid to me. In the UK generally people don't have maids & the parents (let's be honest, usually the mothers) are expected to cook, clean, wash, iron & look after the kids whilst working.

I have a maid tho haha. I can afford it, so why not?? Plus working 7am - 5:30pm is a long day & the last thing I want to do when I come home is clean.

I do my own washing & cooking though. Get me.
See this is what is optimum for me.

I work, I rear my kids when they come home from school, we share the daily cooking and the daily tidying up and get a maid once or twice a week to clean the windows, wash floors, help with laundry etc..

That would be perfect.

I do my own washing & cooking though.

You will definitely make a good Omani wife

I did not miss it. It was an intentional swerve, Mr Markov :hyper:

Really? You got it in you babe :)

Really? You got it in you babe :)
It worked didn't it? :hyper:

See this is what is optimum for me.

I work, I rear my kids when they come home from school, we share the daily cooking and the daily tidying up and get a maid once or twice a week to clean the windows, wash floors, help with laundry etc..

That would be perfect.

But here people have full time maids for 50 to 60 rials per month.

But it is getting expansive to get one.

If the wife is working full time and the couple are able to afford a maid to help out with the cleaning and cooking, then they should. If they aren't able then they'll just have to manage the house chores on their own. If the wife is not working then she has no right to ask for a maid. She should take care of the cleaning, etc since what else has she got to do all day, go shopping?!

But here people have full time maids for 50 to 60 rials per month.

But it is getting expansive to get one.
Maids here are not like your maids. They don't live with us, we don't feed them.

Here, they will give you their price per hour for work.. and expect you to help.

Just because you have a maid, doesn't mean you sit and watch TV.

She would come for example at 9am and maybe leave at 3pm .. 6 hours costing about 25 Omani Rials. In that time, both wife and maid clean..

The 'aim of the game' is to get as much as possible done in the one of the two off days a working woman will have. The other day she can spend it relaxing with her family and kids.

that's slave labour, i don't think that's really good in God's eyes.


back to topic...
so if a woman stopped working and took care of her house, was her work worth only 80 rials, i mean even 100 rials is cheap, even 200. i think the cost of living of oman and malta are very much the same. the 'better than nothing' should not be an excuse for the abuse of these people.

Guys, talking about maid's wages is off topic, so I moved them all to a new thread:

http://www.englishsabla.com/forum/showthread.php?t=55372

So continue discussing it there. This thread is about Omani wives and maids. Thanks :flower:

Actually my mother in law is mother to 11 children (of which 8 are still at home) - she does not have a housemaid. My father in laws' second wife has 11 (or maybe 12 now, not sure!) children, lives in the mountains, doesn't work and does have a maid. My two married sisters in law don't work, don't have children, one husband works away and yet they have maids. I work full time, i have a daughter and don't have a maid.

My mother in law and i don't always see eye to eye but this is one point we have in common and she is always telling her daughters off for being lazy - they say that as they helped in the house as children they are now taking a rest!
However, as someone pointed out (sorry, can't remember who) it is a matter of choice. From my culture it would be a huge source of shame for someone else to do my household jobs - unless i was royalty!

Actually my mother in law is mother to 11 children (of which 8 are still at home) - she does not have a housemaid. My father in laws' second wife has 11 (or maybe 12 now, not sure!) children, lives in the mountains, doesn't work and does have a maid. My two married sisters in law don't work, don't have children, one husband works away and yet they have maids. I work full time, i have a daughter and don't have a maid.

My mother in law and i don't always see eye to eye but this is one point we have in common and she is always telling her daughters off for being lazy - they say that as they helped in the house as children they are now taking a rest!
However, as someone pointed out (sorry, can't remember who) it is a matter of choice. From my culture it would be a huge source of shame for someone else to do my household jobs - unless i was royalty!
Tell me ur husband is helping u...
tell me that u r not working 8-12 hours?
also tell me u work very close to ur house

Otherwise tell me how do u manage?

Its not just being lazy its crazy and difficult ....

Well I need housemaid to make my life easy !! its not because I cant cook and clean its because I dont have time to do all that... plus i need a person to watch my kids while am working...

In this hot weather I cant imagine finish my work at 4 and go home start to cook, clean, wash, kids homework, ironing..etc etc

Hi Florenenya,
Sometimes my husband helps. Not always, but if i ask he will or sometimes i will come home and he has dusted one of the rooms or he and our daughter have laid the table ready for dinner. My working hours are Sat - Weds, 7.30 - 4.30pm (occasionally 5pm) and it is a 30 minute drive each way.
How do i manage? Simply because i have never known anything else! This is how i was bought up and it is just how it is. You do need to be organised and have a sort of routine, but i just don't know anything else, so for me it is ok. Sometimes i do get tired so then my husband and daughter cook for me - which is fun and i get to sit and relax, but that took a lot of training of myself for me not to interfere!

At the end of the day we all have different ways of doing things, what concerns me is when so many of the yonger generation happily boast they can't cook and won't clean etc and for me that is just disrespectful to her husband. The thought of another woman taking care of my husband or daughter is just horrifying to me. I realise that i am lucky with my husband, his mother has had to be strong and she has taught her children (especially her sons) some amazing skills and manners and ways to look after and help their wives. I do appreciate him and he appreciates what i do for him and what our daughter is learning to do for him and her future husband. Also we do love to do things together and are a very tight unit. He taught our daughter how to shoot and fish and i taught her how to cook, clean and iron.

I am not going back on my opinion, i SO don't 100% agree with the concept of having a housemaid - but maybe sometimes i come over a bit 'righteous' and don't think how things will sound before i press send(you can usually tell by my posts when my husband is away and not pre reading them!!).

Markov - actually i am a very nice lady, thank you.

Thalia - Thank you sweetheart, kind of you.

ya it's weird how women who have nothing to do get maids? XD wut's that for?
i mean for working moms i totaly understand it but houswives? .. isn't it their job to do the house chores?

Whats all this yap yap yap about maids.

If you can afford it and want one ... get one.

If you can't get to cleanin and cookin ... with your mans help too! :inno:

AMEN Jack!!!!!!!!!!

the younger generation happily boast they can't cook and won't clean etc and for me that is just disrespectful to her husband. The thought of another woman taking care of my husband or daughter is just horrifying to me

Why is it disrespectful? Is it because she is allowing another woman to carry out her so called duties? If that is the case, would it be disrespectful for the husband if he allowed his wife to contribute to the household expenses because it is his duty and only his? Or do you have another line of reasoning? :inno:

To even, even if a housewife wanted a maid, no body should judge her as less of a qualified wife or mother. If they can afford it and this system is working for them, then it is no body business that she has a maid and chooses not to do house chores.

On the other hand I admire women like BeachBambi who take care of the house chores, remember that in the past Omani women used to do (and some of them still) everything from milking the cow to cleaning the house in and out.