I am sure we all agree that once you've been cheated on, it is very natural to want to end the relationship. However, if you did not, I reckon your partner would be prepared to be your punching bag for a while, s/he would welcome your insults, and negative statements that remind him/her of their mistake constantly. Though, my question is how long is too long? How long should someone who cheated on their partner have to stick it out in order to achieve their forgiveness?

Or are you like me who thinks once you chose not to end the relationship, then you are not entitled to hold their mistake against them indefinitely. I think by continuing to stay in the relationship, you have essentially forgiven them and that entails, not throwing their mistakes in their faces all the time unless you've made it clear that you're on a break and you need to think things over.

i believe that cheating leaves a scar, so even after healing, the scar stays there...

there will be suspicious moments, you might have your doubts like: "he did it once, he might do it again"....

but i believe if you both talked about it, and he/she admitted his guilt, then after a while (few months), u hould not talk about it, even if you know u cant let it go 100%

If it's one of them relationships, I'd just end it & would never hold a grudge on her or that's how I think I would react to it; because honestly I never bean cheated on, so am not sure.

Because if I was in a serious relationship & she slept with a guy once, then it must've been 100% something that I did wrong or something is wrong in our relationship. I wouldn't end it, we would take a break from each other and if we do love & respect each other; I might be able to forgive her action. Or if I cheated on her and she really loves me; I'd suggest a break & it'll be her choice only if I deserve a 2nd chance or not.

If it's one of them relationships, I'd just end it & would never hold a grudge on her or that's how I think I would react to it; because honestly I never bean cheated on, so am not sure.

Because if I was in a serious relationship & she slept with a guy once, then it must've been 100% something that I did wrong or something is wrong in our relationship. I wouldn't end it, we would take a break from each other and if we do love & respect each other; I might be able to forgive her action. Or if I cheated on her and she really loves me; I'd suggest a break & it'll be her choice only if I deserve a 2nd chance or not.

So you should always take a break, whether you cheated on your partner or s/he cheated on you. okaay :think:

What if she gave you a 2nd chance, but constantly threw hurtful comments at you after taking you back, would you tolerate her?

Cheating either way is not in my book. So to me once a cheater always a cheater.

Hypothetically, if I decided to stay with the cheater, they yes I wont bring it up again and again, but, it will always be in the back of my mind and never go away.

That is true for liars, back stabbers, traitors, and similar group. Thats why I am very picky when it comes to choosing friends

So you should always take a break, whether you cheated on your partner or s/he cheated on you. okaay :think:

What if she gave you a 2nd chance, but constantly threw hurtful comments at you after taking you back, would you tolerate her?

Not always, am talking about a serious relationship (which I never had in my life)

I would tolerate it, but I would expect to end at some time or at least to be very less frequent

Cheating either way is not in my book. So to me once a cheater always a cheater.

Hypothetically, if I decided to stay with the cheater, they yes I wont bring it up again and again, but, it will always be in the back of my mind and never go away.

That is true for liars, back stabbers, traitors, and similar group. Thats why I am very picky when it comes to choosing friends
I'm not aware of being cheated on. And if I were, I'd simply end the relationship. I can't live my life looking over my shoulder shoulder all the time and wondering what my partner is up to, where he is etc all the time.

I don't think I'd get revengeful because if you loved that person, you'd not want to hurt them no matter what. If you didn't, then why waste your time on them? They're not worth it.

Pick up the pieces and move away and on.

I think if you agree to stay in the relationship then you are willing to forgive them. Therefore you shouldn't keep on bringing back the subject whenever you fight. I know it's easier said than done but that's ideally how it's supposed to be.

throwing someones mistake in thier face over and over again creates grudges and endless barriers that eventually do ruin a relationship no matter how hard one tries. i agree with you in that once a person accepts to stay in the relationship after such a situation they have to forgive and forget as much as they can or else just let go. god is forgiving and humans should be too, we all make mistakes.
however, id find it difficult to stay i think [id forgive sure but id find it hard to forget] and if i do stay it would depend on how sorry he seems to me and i would expect him to take crap from me until i do forgive and decide to go back. this is when any reminder of what happened should stop.

If I was in that position, and if I chose to forgive her (which i dont think I'd do) then I wouldn't remind her about it, because it won't help fixing the relationship, it'll delay the break up/divorce. However, I will keep my eyes open and be more cautious.
If I was the one who cheated, and she chose to forgive me, I'd tolerate comments on the first time, which is done when we settle things and get them fixed. But then if she keeps on reminding me of it, I won't be as tolerant. I will explain to her that this won't help fixing the relationship. If she persists, then I assume what's broken can't be fixed!

As Amarant said: "Cheating leaves a scar" It's not an easy thing. Instead, it will make the person feel insecure all the time, and pathologically thinking why am I not good enough for him? Once cheating occurs, I believe that a relationship can never be healthy, and each partner should take different paths. It's just too deep, something that isn't ethical to forgive. :os Then again, different people have different views.

well, trying to picture myself forgiving a cheater is kinda hard..picturing myself not reminding them of their mistake every now and then, is even harder. then again, i've never been down that lane before, so i don't really know how would i react.

It will take time to move on.. of course you will pass through a phase of depression.. a wave of depression i should say.. i dont know how long it will take but at the end you should forget about it and move on...

being suspicious forever doesnt help

I don't think I'll be able to forgive and continue going on with the relationship because it will always be in my head and I don't want to live a doubtful life with my husband.

I'll let go and be with someone else.

I think if you agree to stay in the relationship then you are willing to forgive them. Therefore you shouldn't keep on bringing back the subject whenever you fight. I know it's easier said than done but that's ideally how it's supposed to be.
Agreed.

If you're willing to go back to them and continue being with them, then you're more or less accepting the fact that they cheated and you forgive them. There's no point in going back to them if you're going to throw their adultery in their face at every opportunity. You're both going to be miserable that way.