Are you the kind of person who, when goes to funerals, stays there all day to mingle with others and have lunch and dinner?

I noticed many people attend funerals like it's a nice thing. They stay there all day and sometimes go back to where the funeral is taking place a couple of times a day!

I am the kind of person who would only go for 5 minutes to give them my support and leave. I don't stay there for more than 5 minutes; funerals depress me!

If it's a close family member, the only reason I stay at the funeral is because I need to help out with the food, serving, and taking care of things..

I think funerals are very private and the family need time for themselves instead of thinking what to make/get for lunch/dinner for the people coming to condolence them and stay there all day.

What do you have to say about this?

Odd odd people xD, actually it depends on their intentions...but I still don't get why they'd come and go on the same day itself..

Like you said, if it was someone close then I'd have to stay and help around. If it wasn't then I'd stay for about 15 - 30 mins maybe an hour max.

I don't really care if people go there to socialize or eat; if that's their sick twisted way of passing time, then whatever.
But I loathe and despise people who, like vultures, haunt the funerals to prey on other people's misery. It's like they get some kind of sick entertainment value out of watching other people in their worst moments.

The only funerals where I spend more than half an hour in is a family funeral .. like you said you will be there to help up and provide support esp. if the owners of the house are grieving and they need people to take care of the arrangments.

If you ask me, I would prefer if there were timings for funerals.and exculde lunch and dinner time from those timings. Like from 10 to 1 then from 4 to 9. Its very tiring for the family to stay all day in the same place.

the max. i would stay is 1/2 n hour if it was a close friend, other then that it's just 5 or 10 minutes n im not, i dont even take the water or juice or tea coz i dont think its a time to celebrate, i mean theese ppl r not even in the mood to serve any1 anything!

If it's a funeral in the family then obviously i'd stay all day. Other funerals i stay for half an hour to an hour max. I don't like going to funerals. I am very sensitive and i get depressed. I go out of respect to the family. It's also very tiring and sad to sit there and see nothing but people crying and weeping around you. It's too much for me. :(

the max. i would stay is 1/2 n hour if it was a close friend, other then that it's just 5 or 10 minutes n im not, i dont even take the water or juice or tea coz i dont think its a time to celebrate, i mean theese ppl r not even in the mood to serve any1 anything!

Exactly.. and the worst part is when you serve dates and a woman asks you: "Is there another type of dates?"!

I've noticed quite a few times that people attend JUST FOR THE FOOD! now that is not right. :no:

Exactly.. and the worst part is when you serve dates and a woman asks you: "Is there another type of dates?"!

or time of dinner they will scream: do you serve tea!!!

I don't go to funerals unless they're close family members. So I do spend a while there, I've only been to 3-4 funerals in my life and I don't remember eating in any of them except for my grandmother's funeral.

i've never been to a funeral, so i don't know.

i fall asleep, really. i hav been to funerals of pp i dint kno so well so it dint affect me a lot. i wud think about different things n dont talk to anyone. just "be there". now i've stopped goin to funerals.

I've been to so many funerals. I might not know the people I'm visiting well, but I sometimes go to accompany my mother or my grandmother or simply to represent the family. If that was the case, I would stay for half an hour, just enough time to read a couple of pages from the Koran. If it was a family funeral, then I would be there every day-from 9am to midnight-for a whole week. It's very tiring and it makes it worse when you are in grief too, but you still have to wake up early and sleep late because you need to be in the funeral home all the freaking time in case they need a helping hand :bored:

Last funeral I went to was for my paternal grandmother and was very hard. I prefer not to go if am not forced.

I've been to a funeral once, twice actually. I gave my condolence then left.

nella? not once?:o omg

Funeral's are depressing, huh?
The problem is... People don't think about the person and how he feels.
They think about food and go there for free food or whatsoever.

I know "certain" people go to funerals for the food and they never think about the person who died or how the parent/brother/sister/uncle ... etc... feel..

The only time they will know funerals are meant to make the person BETTER is when they lose someone (but I hope everyone lives...)

I prefer staying there and be of some support if I know the person but if I don't know them and I have to go just because my parents or friends went I would like to sit for only 10 - 20 minutes..

We tend to have open casket unless the body is in bad shape. That is why I don't like going.....I don't want that body to be the last image I have of the person.

usually when its a family funeral i stay the whole day basically but if its people we don't know we just go for half an hour give our condolences and leave

I have been in funerals couple of times with friends and family too, I never go to a funeral alone, It's very depressing. So I stay as long as they stay.

But What I dont understand is, why serve food in funerals?

I mean, for God's sake, people are moaning and crying for their loss and you want to get your stomach served?

If, God forbid, I lost someone dear to me from family, my doors will be shut for some good months and so.

after crying for many hours you become weak so the family has a good intetion if they offer you some food and water.

Plus, the relatives serve the visitors food as a tradition. Out of respect it is a custom. It's a way of showing a 'thank you' for coming.

When attending funerals i try to stay for a maximum of 15 minutes. Its depressing to see people in such situations. I go to the person I should condolence say a few words to them. Go read a few pages of Quran then leave.

When it's a close person I stay all day but i tend to stay in the majlis or where ever the people are gathered in for a few hours then go to a room and stay alone.

I might pass a good friends wedding party but I never pass a funeral. I'v even saw my dead uncle "god mercy his soul" getting washed before they take him to the grave yard, I was 11 years old then.

I'v carried the body of my friends/family past ones to the grave yard and helped in putting them in the grave.

Every time I go there and they put the person in the grave,, I feel so weak and my eyes get filled with tears.
I find it a duty to be there at that day.

^that is so sad..in this case i am glad to be a woman coz i don't see them actually burrying the body:(

nella? not once?:o omg

nope..not once. i was too young when close relatives passed away, including my sister, so i wasn't allowed to attend, and in some cases, i was sent to my uncle's house. now that i'm older, i'm usually away..so by the time i'm home, the funeral is over.

i have no idea what people do in funerals.

the most scary & depressing thing is after the burail when every1 leaves...

I've only been to hmm..3 funerals, and all of them were family members and I stayed for a little over an hour in each of them.

nope..not once. i was too young when close relatives passed away, including my sister, so i wasn't allowed to attend, and in some cases, i was sent to my uncle's house. now that i'm older, i'm usually away..so by the time i'm home, the funeral is over.

i have no idea what people do in funerals.

You dont have to attend a funeral to know what humans do there. is that right?

I never did nor will even suspect people coming to a funeral to have such an intention
I mean I know there will be some who will meet their friends and talk and eat but I don't believe that was their intention of going there..
I think it’s important for grieving people to have close relatives by their side at such times
The earliest one I remember was when I was six.. there were a lot of people throughout the entire day and some even slept over..

I've been to one funeral, and that was our own funeral. It's very tiring and frustrating that you have to be around these people when you desperately need some alone time.

The funerals I attended were of family. I had to stay the WHOLE day, because I was the only one that could keep the children quiet in the room, they liked listening to me because I tell them ghost stories.

I don't like funerals. It breaks my heart to see the family crying while other women are chatting ... and laughing!

I told my family I don't want a funeral at our house, only at the Masjid. If any relative insists, then let that relative hold it in their house ... bala nakad.

The funerals I attended were of family. I had to stay the WHOLE day, because I was the only one that could keep the children quiet in the room, they liked listening to me because I tell them ghost stories.

Thinking of it now ... How Ironic! :XD:

May God bless your soul Grandmama.

Just a little story I remembered: Three four and five year olds claimed that they saw my grandma's 'ghost' during the funeral. I played along and asked where, and one of them jumped and said: There, there! On the cloud! Can't you see her! She's going to heaven now ...

*Pause* Everyone sad...

Apparently she got carried away by the attention and went: Oh look! God's there too!

:p

I've been to many funerals, and I hate it.
I don't stay for a very long time in a funeral, I'd rather be going back and forth buying the food and supplies needed for the funeral than just sitting in the mosque.

You dont have to attend a funeral to know what humans do there. is that right?

well, i hear stories if that's what you're talking about.
sometimes my grandmother would come back home upset about some ladies laughing out loud, or someone making a scene.

but i kinda had to ask to know what do you say when someone says "albaqiah fi 7ayatkom" i never knew how to reply, along some other things that i wasn't aware of.

I've been to 3-4 funerals and cried in 2 of them ...i dont like going there i feel scared and sorry for the family members who just lost a person they loved and cared for ...

And at my great grandmothers funeral i helped serve omani coffe and dinner and yes i have noticed women talking and eating like they were at a lunch party or so i was mad but couldent say anything as i was only 12 years old

I usually don't attend funerals.

I will only attend if it's someone from my close family ie direct aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. Obviously in that kind of scenario I would have to be present the whole time.

I don't usually stay long .. 30 minutes or 60 ..