What advice would you give someone who is about to get married? what things should be known?and what things would you prepare them for?

(i prefer advice from the married ones but the others are welcome to share):)

Are you getting married?

Haha, there's sooo much to say! Maybe go through the threads in the love sabla and you'll learn :)

Here's a thread opened by Dante (How to Stay in a good relationship?).. it might help! My advices are there..

http://www.englishsabla.com/forum/showthread.php?t=54134

^lol i KNEW you'd say that! :XD: lol ...i am not getting married:XD:
i'd let you know if i was:p

it's just a question..it's better to have all the advice in one thread...

thanks EW :)

Pamper your husband

Guys, AE is not getting married. Don't turn this thread into a chit-chat one! Just give your advices - thanks :)

One can write a book on this, in fact there are hundreds of books out there.

From personal experience, as well as what I have seen of my close friends, the first two years are the defining moments of your marriage life.

During courtship/proposal/etc, none of the weaknesses would show, its all good and rosy. Wedding plans, wedding time, families, friends, gifts, honeymoon.

Usually the first two years is where everyone is fighting for their space. The dominant personality will show up. The marriage rule gets set, and so forth.

So, the best advise I would give is:

Dont expect things to be all rosy.

When the storm starts to hit, dont think the marriage is over, its just a defining moment.

Dont involve others in your problems, try to sort it out yourself, if you cant, be very careful who you speak to.

For girls be careful on your finances, lots of guys out there can con you for your money, it may take up to five years to realise if you can trust a guy with your money.


Having said that, marriage is a blessing from heaven, your spouse will be there for you day in and day out.

One can write a book on this, in fact there are hundreds of books out there.

From personal experience, as well as what I have seen of my close friends, the first two years are the defining moments of your marriage life.

During courtship/proposal/etc, none of the weaknesses would show, its all good and rosy. Wedding plans, wedding time, families, friends, gifts, honeymoon.

Usually the first two years is where everyone is fighting for their space. The dominant personality will show up. The marriage rule gets set, and so forth.

So, the best advise I would give is:

Dont expect things to be all rosy.

When the storm starts to hit, dont think the marriage is over, its just a defining moment.

Dont involve others in your problems, try to sort it out yourself, if you cant, be very careful who you speak to.

For girls be careful on your finances, lots of guys out there can con you for your money, it may take up to five years to realise if you can trust a guy with your money.


Having said that, marriage is a blessing from heaven, your spouse will be there for you day in and day out.

Dont expect things to be all rosy.

ok, i am aware of this:)

When the storm starts to hit, dont think the marriage is over, its just a defining moment.
i like this one:)

Dont involve others in your problems, try to sort it out yourself, if you cant, be very careful who you speak to.

yeah, you're right..IF IF you were tell someone it should be someone you trust...family is always trustworthy:)

For girls be careful on your finances, lots of guys out there can con you for your money, it may take up to five years to realise if you can trust a guy with your money.

:o ok ,this is a first:os

I guess the main thing is, you need to change your thinking from "I" to "we". It's not all about you anymore, you have to consider the other person as well. You have to be able to put them first sometimes.

Don't involve others in your problems. Sort it out between the two of you. If you're having trouble with that, don't go complaining to your family. If anything, go and talk to his family (maybe his mum, sister, etc) about what's going on. Thing is, if you complain to your family, they'll put him on their black list and they'll probably think of him differently forever. You know how protective parents are. You might resolve the problem between yourselves in a couple of days and forgive each other, but your family will always hold it against him.

^ those are my mother's exact words. 'they'll put him on their black list and they'll probably think of him differently forever.'

^^ good point :)




Pamper your husband

ditto :yes:

-try to know the things he likes n be that 4 him..
-dont be a trouble maker.. there's nothing worst 4 a man to come home to a wife who wants a fight out of nothing..
-if there's something that u dont like.. dont keep it inside so it would blow on something tiny.. just share it with him in a nice way
-never question him being a man.. i mean he expects to be the leader n the decision maker.. women can be very aggressive about wanting their way.. but u can always get ur way if u give him what he wants.. make him feel that he's the man n listen to him..

Treat your husband the way you want him to treat you.
And then, EXPECT to be treated the same way.

ohh yeah n trust.. that's a major key..

Treat your husband the way you want him to treat you.
And then, EXPECT to be treated the same way.
damn true! this sums everything

I guess the main thing is, you need to change your thinking from "I" to "we".

I can't imagine myself doing that! :no:

I can't imagine myself doing that! :no:
if u love him u'll be able to do it.. if not then it's gonna be really hard! maybe impossible

My advice:

The comprehensive Kamasutra manual, exercise & a healthy diet

Mutual understanding, treatment and love is the key thing in the successful marriage I guess. And trust between the couple is a must. Yet, let's wait and see, we never know until we try it :D

For Men:
-Learn how to say No!
-Then Try to say it as often as you can!
-Be taugh on your mother-in-law
-Allow minimal or no involvement from your family and your spouse's family

For Women
- learn how to say why.
-Then try to use it more often.
-You have all the right to your own house, living with his family is just a tradition but you are fully entitled to a seprate house.
-Work your wedding out with the husband in a way that gies with his budget, next year your cousin will have forgetten that her wedding was better than yours.

Hey this is not a ' How to destroy a marriage' thread :D

- honesty is so important.
-respect between each others is sooo important ,for me respect comes B4 love!
- show him love dont be shy to tell him what you feel.
- treat him like a King , he will treat you like a Queen.
-dont ever bother him with stupid question, everything has it own time
-always share nice things.
- ask him what he wants from a wife.
-dont let your lifestyle be boring ,try to refresh ur relationship.
-whenever hes quite tell him if you need anything am here for you.


i should write a book

and name it

"perfect wife but single :bored:" lol

Ladies and gentlemen this is a lesson of how
"to not be married at all " AND "better die single"

For Men:
-Learn how to say No!
-Then Try to say as often as you can!
-Be taugh on your mother-in-law
-Allow minimal or no involvement from your family and your family's spouse

For Women
- learn how to say why.
-Then try to use it more often.
-You have all the right to your own house, living with his family is just a tradition but you are fully entitled to a seprate house.
-Work your wedding out with the husband in a way that gies with his budget, next year your cousin will have forgetten that her wedding was better than yours.

- honesty is so important.
-respect between each others is sooo important ,for me respect comes B4 love!
- show him love dont be shy to tell him what you feel.
- treat him like a King , he will treat you like a Queen.
-dont ever bother him with stupid question, everything has it own time
-always share nice things.
- ask him what he wants from a wife.
-dont let your lifestyle be boring ,try to refresh ur relationship.
-whenever hes quite tell him if you need anything am here for you.


i should write a book

and name it

"perfect wife but single :bored:" lol

Aw am having thoughts of my future wife now :love:

^^^^ faj2ah *suddenly* ! lol


BTW superbia: you think that you cant turn the "I" 2 "we" now
but believe me am sure you will change your mind

marriage is about SHARING everything love,thoughts,future,happiness and sadness ..etc

Ladies and gentlemen this is a lesson of how
"to not be married at all " AND "better die single"
I disagree.

Pygmalion is being very realistic. Although I disagree on the "say no" bit..

It's easy to dream of love and marriage like it came right out of a mills&boon book.. but reality is very different.

^^ lol do you disagree with everything i say :P:P

well most of the things he said are not right
some apply on some people who have family problems..

I disagree.

Pygmalion is being very realistic. Although I disagree on the "say no" bit..

It's easy to dream of love and marriage like it came right out of a mills&boon book.. but reality is very different.

Are you sure you agree on the "next year her cousin will have forgotten that her wedding was better than yours"? :p

^^ lol do you disagree with everything i say :P:P

well most of the things he said are not right
some apply on some people who have family problems..
uh.. you're right.

What would I know about marriage.

I'm only married after all. :rolleyes:

Are you sure you agree on the "next year her cousin will have forgotten that her wedding was better than yours"? :p
My wedding was a very low scale dinner. Minerva was there. She can tell you. I wasn't intent on spending thousands on one day.

It's not the size of the wedding that makes a good marriage, is it?

I agree with Thalia that marriage is not anything like paradise.

It's very, very wonderful. But it's very, very hard.

Men and women drive each other crazy.

Any two people living in close proximity drive each other crazy. But men and women? Sheeeeeeeesh!

And then add kids to the mix! ShaZAM!

My advice is one more for men than women:

Marriage is about giving. It's about emptying yourself. If you follow that road you will find a lot of joy.

Look at her. There will be days when the last thing you want to see is your wife.

Look at her. Really look at her. And then take a step in love. One word. One small act. And when you can't do that any more, take another one anyway.

Then you will find that you were wrong and you want to see your wife very badly after all.

To women?

Ahh, well. Don't expect to change him. It's true. Men aren't very flexible. They can change themselves slowly over time, but not very easily. And they don't take well to being shaped by women.

The man you are marrying is the man you will still be married to years from now.

Love each other, really that's it.

It's a thing you do; not a thing you feel.

My wedding was a very low scale dinner. Minerva was there. She can tell you. I wasn't intent on spending thousands on one day.

It's not the size of the wedding that makes a good marriage, is it?

Of course not. But you're a sensible woman.

I was just pointing out that the "cousin" may well be bragging til she's eighty that "my wedding was soooo much better than Fardosa's wedding. I put her to shame."

That probably doesn't matter much. But I wouldn't bank on the cousin's virtue and maturity.

uh.. you're right.

What would I know about marriage.

I'm only married after all. :rolleyes:

look how you changed the whole thing!

I didnt say anything about you knowing and dont know!
but its different from a person to another!
and how your lifestyle is

maybe because you married someone whos not from ur country makes it a little bit hard and it need a strong women to handle all of the changes that could happen in such a relationship.. and u seem a strong woman..

but my point was that most of what Pygmalion listed wasnt true except living with the family part (coz i think the couple should live away from their families and dont involve them in their private problems)


each relationship has a different problem
but if the husband was saying NO and the wife why! I think they are willing to get divorce not marriage

honey, believe it or not, all marriages have their good and bad. Their ups and downs. Their rocky times and their good times. It has nothing to do with who you marry, where he's from or whatever. Two people will, one day or another, come into conflict.

now, when pygmalion says "keep the mother-in-law out of it" he is being realistic.
when he says, "you are entitled to your own house" he is being realistic
When he says "you don;t need to break the bank with a huge wedding" he is being realistic.

You may not see it now.. but 10, 20 years down the line, you will. Believe me, you will. No matter who it is you marry.

^The saying NO bit was the best bit. NO!

^The saying NO bit was the best bit. NO!
But... why?

:hyper:

Because, being a strong leader means saying no sometimes.



http://images.wikia.com/memoryalpha/en/images/6/68/Enterprise-D-bridge_2371.jpgNO!

^lol what the?

the man can say no as much as he wants.....she can say no to certain things too :rolleyes: *hint* up to him really :p :XD:

some interesting bits of advice people!

honey, believe it or not, all marriages have their good and bad. Their ups and downs. Their rocky times and their good times. It has nothing to do with who you marry, where he's from or whatever. Two people will, one day or another, come into conflict.

now, when pygmalion says "keep the mother-in-law out of it" he is being realistic.
when he says, "you are entitled to your own house" he is being realistic
When he says "you don;t need to break the bank with a huge wedding" he is being realistic.

You may not see it now.. but 10, 20 years down the line, you will. Believe me, you will. No matter who it is you marry.

ya i know dear

nothing is perfect in the end.. but what i meant that at least people should try to have a good marriage ..not a perfect one *coz it will never happen* but a happy couple could handle somethings

about the mother in law :p i heard some really bad stories :/
hope i will never get anywhere near this

DON'T get married...

Well, am not a good marriage adviser.

DON'T get married...

Well, am not a good marriage adviser.


lol

we have to get married at the end:)

^ Says who?? :s

DON'T get married...

Well, am not a good marriage adviser.
yeah am with you..DONT Get Married can we start a club :hyper:

Elli yesta7i.. ma yjeeb 3yal ( who is shy.. won't conceive children) :p :dev: :p


thats all I have to say :dev:

yeah dont get married, most men are arrogant fools!