I come across some people who always tell me how happy they are with their relationship with their spouses, but after a while .. They start complaining and say that everything is changed & their spouses aren't the same or they've changed.

Some of them even tell me that things are getting so boring between the two of them and they got nothing to say to each other & they're just living each day as it's nothing.

So, I was wondering .. How to really stay in a good & interesting relationship with a person ? .. I mean, does it count on the other person ? If she/he is an interesting person himself/herself ?

Let's suppose he/she is .. Then do u think that the relationship will work out no matter what ?

I want to know if they are any ideas on how to make a relationship more interesting, so no one can say it's actually boring ? ..
I want to know what things couple do together ? I mean what jokes would do the job ? Chit-chats about what ?? bla bla ..

Share your ideas & thoughts.
:cute:

To keep a relationship alive and fun you have to stay alive and fun! If you make sure that yo do fun things together and you keep improving yourself (you'll stay interesting that way) then your partner will stay happy and interested and so will you.

Try to do something different every once in a while ( I could give you tips but I dont know if youre a man or a woman) relationships are hard work and need time, commitment and the ability to share and listen.

Be patient and do everything step by step.

I think being good friends helps...think about how you are with your friends...how you can be friends with someone for years and start from there.

Try to live your day as its the first day you both see eachother. Think of adding new things to your life.

To keep a relationship alive and fun you have to stay alive and fun! If you make sure that yo do fun things together and you keep improving yourself (you'll stay interesting that way) then your partner will stay happy and interested and so will you.

Try to do something different every once in a while ( I could give you tips but I dont know if youre a man or a woman) relationships are hard work and need time, commitment and the ability to share and listen.
Okay, I got your point.
- To stay fun and alive. :)

I dont want any tips or anything .. I just want to know the mechanism behind it. How things really work out.

I do agree on the 'Improving yourself' part.

What I'm asking is, what if your partner isn't really helping you in this relationship .. If she/he is not interesting enough .. How to make him/her interesting ?
Should you try to understand his/her personality & try your best to live with it ? Or to change it ?

Be patient and do everything step by step.
Can you tell me how do u know u're taking the right step at the right time ?
Is it easy to know ?

I think being good friends helps...think about how you are with your friends...how you can be friends with someone for years and start from there.
Wow .. I never thought of this.
Good point, Marianna.

Actually, it is sometimes neccessery to treat your partner as a friend.
To talk and have fun with. :)

I find it more relaxing sometimes to talk to your partner as a friend.

How to really stay in a good & interesting relationship with a person ? .. I mean, does it count on the other person ? If she/he is an interesting person himself/herself ?



I assume you are talking about spousal relationships. Marriage need not be boring, if you know the right recipe. I have been married over ten years and it only gets better each day.

From the man's point of view:

We are from different planets. You need to understand that your spouse's idea of fun and interesting may not be the same as yours, but, you have to somehow accommodate that into your lifestyle.

Give her space, don't cling to her all the time, she needs a breathing space.

Dont try to change her, some ppl would fall in love bec a girl has special talents, style, or skills, once they get married he will try and change all that.

Build trust, the biggest red light comes when your spouse realises you dont trust her, for example, checking her handbag, reading her messages etc.

Be there for her, women like to be cuddled, especially when they feel down, worried or scared.

Listen, some ppl switch off as soon as their wives start to talk, and then wonder why the marriage falls apart.

Support her interests...

I better stop here before my post gets looooong....

Markov, is an ideal husband.. :)

First, you need to strengthen your bond by being honest, faithful and never lie.. no matter how small/big the issue is, you should always be able to talk about it!

Second, have fun.. show interest when your spouse wants to do something, even if you don't really enjoy it.. the support is enough and that makes them happy!

Third, love with all your energy! Give, give, give, give.. and you'll get it back! :)

I guess those are the main points. I am not a professional and there are no kids involved yet so maybe the parents can give us advice on how to help/support when the kids come :)

^oh ok then...i guess i have nothing to worry about then since i am naturally like that....what a lucky guy:)

i liked rossonero's point.

Can you tell me how do u know u're taking the right step at the right time ?
Is it easy to know ?

When both of you feel ready for the next step.

Markov, is an ideal husband.. :)


Awww... thanks!!! I try


I am not a professional and there are no kids involved yet so maybe the parents can give us advice on how to help/support when the kids come :)
[/QUOTE]


Actually it works the other way round. When the first kid came along, my wife started paying less attention to me and more attention to the kid.

It did bother me initially, but later on realised I have more time to do other things.

So it is no longer boring:

I think the best advice is analyzing your spouse and knowing how they think, what they enjoy, what they like and dislike, their interests, their hobbies, things they like to talk about and from there, you can always make sure you keep them entertained through doing those stuff "together."

And if your spouse does the same, then I must say you would have an ongoing entertaining relationship. And every once in a while, a romantic gateway can spice up your marriage. Try new things together and be innovative ;)

I assume you are talking about spousal relationships. Marriage need not be boring, if you know the right recipe. I have been married over ten years and it only gets better each day.

From the man's point of view:

We are from different planets. You need to understand that your spouse's idea of fun and interesting may not be the same as yours, but, you have to somehow accommodate that into your lifestyle.

Give her space, don't cling to her all the time, she needs a breathing space.

Dont try to change her, some ppl would fall in love bec a girl has special talents, style, or skills, once they get married he will try and change all that.

Build trust, the biggest red light comes when your spouse realises you dont trust her, for example, checking her handbag, reading her messages etc.

Be there for her, women like to be cuddled, especially when they feel down, worried or scared.

Listen, some ppl switch off as soon as their wives start to talk, and then wonder why the marriage falls apart.

Support her interests...

I better stop here before my post gets looooong....
You can usually always tell a man is married by the way he talks and 'gets' women.

If I can add something to your list markov it would be:


Never EVER take your partners for granted. Don't think you can slack on them 'because they'll be there tomorrow'.. one day you might wake up and not find them.

keep it refreshed always try new stuff
no routines = perfect marriage :)

If I can add something to your list markov it would be:


Never EVER take your partners for granted. Don't think you can slack on them 'because they'll be there tomorrow'.. one day you might wake up and not find them.


Yes, agree on that.

If I ca also add one more to my list: (by the way, the book will be out soon)

If you are married to an Arab woman, even though we live a life of Land Cruisers and Mobile Phones, she still has a mental picture of an her Arab Man on a Horse and carrying a sword. Basically Arab women do not like guys who are all touchy touchy, softy softy, sensitive, too emotional, she likes her guy to be firm, decisive, dominant and in full control. The picture of an Arabian warrior still lingers in her mind, if you distort that picture you are only putting yourself in hot water.

If you get married to a non-Arab, thats a topic for another day :inno:

Yes, agree on that.

If I ca also add one more to my list: (by the way, the book will be out soon)

If you are married to an Arab woman, even though we live a life of Land Cruisers and Mobile Phones, she still has a mental picture of an her Arab Man on a Horse and carrying a sword. Basically Arab women do not like guys who are all touchy touchy, softy softy, sensitive, too emotional, she likes her guy to be firm, decisive, dominant and in full control. The picture of an Arabian warrior still lingers in her mind, if you distort that picture you are only putting yourself in hot water.

If you get married to a non-Arab, thats a topic for another day :inno:
May I?

If you marry a non-arab, don't blame her for your discrepancies - she won't take it lying down.
Don't for one minute even THINK she's stupid or deficient just because she's a woman. Value her opinion just like it were a man's.
Stop being so macho about everything and put your sword away. You're gonna hurt yourself with that.
Control is shared. You try to get on her head and one day there won't be a head to get on, because a non-arab does not care about what people will say if she dumps your sorry arse.

If you MUST have a horse, it better be white. And have wings. Or at least a unicorn.

Markov.. when your book comes out I want a signed copy. :hyper:

Yes, agree on that.

If I ca also add one more to my list: (by the way, the book will be out soon)

If you are married to an Arab woman, even though we live a life of Land Cruisers and Mobile Phones, she still has a mental picture of an her Arab Man on a Horse and carrying a sword. Basically Arab women do not like guys who are all touchy touchy, softy softy, sensitive, too emotional, she likes her guy to be firm, decisive, dominant and in full control. The picture of an Arabian warrior still lingers in her mind, if you distort that picture you are only putting yourself in hot water.


I am an Arab woman and the last time I checked I hate men who think they've the right to dominate women and be in full control of everything - or automatically thinking they've the upper hand. On the contrary, that is not what I want. I want an equal. I wan a division in responsibilities, so he can control his bit and I can control mine provided we both agree on how to run things in our "department". I want him to be sensitive, but not too sensitive or too emotional, but I don't want him to be firm and cold. I hate hate men who are cold! :os. Perhaps, I am not your average Arab woman, but lots of people what want I want. So guys listen to me, not Markov :inno:

Yes, agree on that.

If I ca also add one more to my list: (by the way, the book will be out soon)

If you are married to an Arab woman, even though we live a life of Land Cruisers and Mobile Phones, she still has a mental picture of an her Arab Man on a Horse and carrying a sword. Basically Arab women do not like guys who are all touchy touchy, softy softy, sensitive, too emotional, she likes her guy to be firm, decisive, dominant and in full control. The picture of an Arabian warrior still lingers in her mind, if you distort that picture you are only putting yourself in hot water.

If you get married to a non-Arab, thats a topic for another day :inno:

Good advice, I agree. But it's not just Arab women.

Very interesting answers, I see. :D

I'll get back to u guys, as soon as I read all of them. :D

I believe that pure honesty is the path towards success, in anything..

I assume you are talking about spousal relationships. Marriage need not be boring, if you know the right recipe. I have been married over ten years and it only gets better each day.

From the man's point of view:

We are from different planets. You need to understand that your spouse's idea of fun and interesting may not be the same as yours, but, you have to somehow accommodate that into your lifestyle.

Give her space, don't cling to her all the time, she needs a breathing space.

Dont try to change her, some ppl would fall in love bec a girl has special talents, style, or skills, once they get married he will try and change all that.

Build trust, the biggest red light comes when your spouse realises you dont trust her, for example, checking her handbag, reading her messages etc.

Be there for her, women like to be cuddled, especially when they feel down, worried or scared.

Listen, some ppl switch off as soon as their wives start to talk, and then wonder why the marriage falls apart.

Support her interests...

I better stop here before my post gets looooong....
You were really useful, my friend.
I thank you for your post.

The thing I want to know, how to support her interests ? By just talking or doing some action ? Can u explain that part to me ?

And about the space thing ? Is it okay if I didn't SMS her for a like a whole day ? Or If she has an exam the next day, I wont sms her today ? :) Won't it be kinda stupid ?

Markov, is an ideal husband.. :)

First, you need to strengthen your bond by being honest, faithful and never lie.. no matter how small/big the issue is, you should always be able to talk about it!

Second, have fun.. show interest when your spouse wants to do something, even if you don't really enjoy it.. the support is enough and that makes them happy!

Third, love with all your energy! Give, give, give, give.. and you'll get it back! :)

I guess those are the main points. I am not a professional and there are no kids involved yet so maybe the parents can give us advice on how to help/support when the kids come :)
I loved the first part of your post. :) How u have this fabolous idea of making the bond strong by not lieng and being honest. :)

But, I was wondering about the second part, the compromising part .. Where you should act that u enjoy something yer partner do while in the real life, u dont .. What if she finds out one day ? How would u respond to her reaction ? :)

Thanks for your post.
It was helpful.

I believe that pure honesty is the path towards success, in anything..

and sometimes the path to your downfall.

May I?

If you marry a non-arab, don't blame her for your discrepancies - she won't take it lying down.
Don't for one minute even THINK she's stupid or deficient just because she's a woman. Value her opinion just like it were a man's.
Stop being so macho about everything and put your sword away. You're gonna hurt yourself with that.
Control is shared. You try to get on her head and one day there won't be a head to get on, because a non-arab does not care about what people will say if she dumps your sorry arse.

If you MUST have a horse, it better be white. And have wings. Or at least a unicorn.

Markov.. when your book comes out I want a signed copy. :hyper:

By all means you may.

Great opinion you got there. Actually am glad you brought it out, it will help those who plan to marry non Arab to understand the opinion of a few minority.

Now for the majority. Guys, its a different ball game altogether.

The non Arab needs clear instruction from day one that you wont take nonsense such as: "You cook, I wash", or "You wash, I iron". Basically a real man is not cut out to do housework, shopping, chauffer, baby sitting, house repairs or any of that boring stuff.
You exist to have a remote control in your left hand, a coffee pot in your right, and a bowl of fruits in front you, other than that, nothing else matters.

And oh yea Thalia, I have instructed my editor to dispatch two signed copies to Valletta as soon as they are out :p

real men do houswork and fix things. if they have the balls.

I am an Arab woman and the last time I checked I hate men who think they've the right to dominate women and be in full control of everything - or automatically thinking they've the upper hand. On the contrary, that is not what I want. I want an equal. I wan a division in responsibilities, so he can control his bit and I can control mine provided we both agree on how to run things in our "department". I want him to be sensitive, but not too sensitive or too emotional, but I don't want him to be firm and cold. I hate hate men who are cold! :os. Perhaps, I am not your average Arab woman, but lots of people what want I want. So guys listen to me, not Markov :inno:

You must have mis interpret, I said dominant personality, and not dominate. Basically they prefer a guy who comes on top. Makes up his mind, decision maker. You want equal? Right, you may get it, but it comes with a price. It would mean constant fighting and arguing until the weaker personality subsides. You will then end up turning your knight into a mouse, am sure you wont want that and neither would any other Arab woman.

So girls, listen to Markov, and not Lym, no no :no:

Basically a real man is not cut out to do ... house repairs

Wow, even the most conservative, patriarchal men here do house repairs and always have.

It's like fixing the car.

Not being able to fix the plumbing or a hole in the wall seems like you are some kinda girly girl or useless, pale-skinned intellectual in the US.

It's precisely the macho men who do house repairs around here.

But then again working with your hands is considered manly in the West and not always in the East. Digging, chopping, fixing, building are considered signs of manhood.

Admittedly dish washing and baby dandling have been seen quite differently! :p

real men do houswork and fix things....

Or delegate their wives

Oh, yeah.

And cooking inside is for women. But cooking OUTSIDE is for MEN! :p

Or delegate their wives

No, see, in America, even the hardest, old fashioned men would consider themselves wusses if they asked their wives to fix the bathtub...

Good advice, I agree. But it's not just Arab women.

Yes, basically all women would love their man to be a muscular hero, and not some kind of wimp

No, see, in America, even the hardest, old fashioned men would consider themselves wusses if they asked their wives to fix the bathtub...
same in malta. :D

You were really useful, my friend.
I thank you for your post.

The thing I want to know, how to support her interests ? By just talking or doing some action ? Can u explain that part to me ?

And about the space thing ? Is it okay if I didn't SMS her for a like a whole day ? Or If she has an exam the next day, I wont sms her today ? :) Won't it be kinda stupid ?

Am basically talking about spouses here, because I dont believe in bf/gf thing.

By supporting her interests I mean, if u propose do a girl, lets say she loves swimming, she has been doing swimming all her life, once you get married, everytime she heads to the pool you flip and become a control freak. Ppl then wonder why their marriage fell apart.

Space: She has lots of friends, girlfriends, cousins etc, before you got married. All of a sudden you decide its just the two of you, and you cut her off slowly. She cant go to a movie with a friend, she cant have ice cream with a friend etc etc. Hey, she got married not buried.

Hope that helps, and by the way, look out for my next book out soon :D

^ I dunno know about muscular :p

but you have to make the hierarchy of authority clear, otherwise there's an endless power struggle.

But I do not agree about making women our servants. I believe the natural way is for the man to do all the work outside AND inside the home except things she naturally wants to do like 'nesting' and stuff.

Not being able to fix the plumbing or a hole in the wall seems like you are some kinda girly girl or useless, pale-skinned intellectual in the US.


Oh, there is a difference between not being able to and not cut out to

^ I dunno know about muscular :p



Not taken literally

Oh, there is a difference between not being able to and not cut out to

I doubt you'd find many American men of hard bitten traditional stripe who would agree with you! :p

They'd just say, "That's the difference between being a wuss and being a wuss."

Who asks his wife to snake out the bathtub drain? :p

To an American that's like asking your wife to carry the luggage and walk ten steps behind...but worse.

More like asking a woman to go to war for you...

It smells of silks and perfumery and effeminacy.

I'm not saying all this is necessarily RIGHT, Markov.

I'm just pointing out the traditional attitudes among traditional Manly Men in America.

They will sit all day on the couch watching football and let their wives vaccuum and cook and wash dishes and never lift a finger.

But when it's time to fix the car or put plaster on the wall or cook barbecue outside, they won't let the woman even THINK about doing it...

Good. My next point on my future-American wife:
Knows plumbing :D

I doubt you'd find many American men of hard bitten traditional stripe who would agree with you! :p

They'd just say, "That's the difference between being a wuss and being a wuss."

Who asks his wife to snake out the bathtub drain? :p

To an American that's like asking your wife to carry the luggage and walk ten steps behind...but worse.

More like asking a woman to go to war for you...

It smells of silks and perfumery and effeminacy.

I'm not saying all this is necessarily RIGHT, Markov.

I'm just pointing out the traditional attitudes among traditional Manly Men in America.

They will sit all day on the couch watching football and let their wives vaccuum and cook and wash dishes and never lift a finger.

But when it's time to fix the car or put plaster on the wall or cook barbecue outside, they won't let the woman even THINK about doing it...


Jeff, I totally understand what you are trying to say, but please note that there is a whole world out there, besides America

Sure, I'm just pointing out that you are talking from a particular cultural perspective yourself.

I don't know how Omani men regard letting their wives fix their cars and build their houses. If you tell me that that if I go to the villages, I'll see the women fixing the walls if they fall down, I'll believe you.

But the idea that that sort of thing is regarded as manly--even in traditional cultures of male dominance--is not universal at all.

You're talking about "women's work" before "women's liberation" and "equality" and all that. "Women's work" over here includes washing dishes, cooking, cleaning, sewing, feeding baby, etc.

But not fixing.

Fixing is man's work. If you let your woman do it, all your friends will think you are a wuss.

And if you tell them that's your culture, they'll just say: "Culture of wusses."

Wow, even the most conservative, patriarchal men here do house repairs and always have.

It's like fixing the car.

Not being able to fix the plumbing or a hole in the wall seems like you are some kinda girly girl or useless, pale-skinned intellectual in the US.

It's precisely the macho men who do house repairs around here.

But then again working with your hands is considered manly in the West and not always in the East. Digging, chopping, fixing, building are considered signs of manhood.

Admittedly dish washing and baby dandling have been seen quite differently! :p
They all gain you points on this side of the world.

Whether it's chopping, or nailing something, or washing the baby.

Thing is, I could probably do it all by myself and pay someone to do it for me if it requires a skill/strength I don't have. So having a man in the house AND having to do all this yourself is what makes that man a wimp.

Imagine, the man sitting on the sofa, guzzling beer and watching footy, while she teeters on the top of a ladder trying to reach that blown out lamp in the suspended ceiling.

Men looking after children is super cute. It brings out their softer playful side, which is there anyways, so why hide it?

^^

Thalia! :p

I wasn't defending the traditional American male chauvinist way.

I was just pointing out that even that way despises the idea of letting women fix things.

I.e., in our part of the world, the guys who come closest to Markov's ideas would think he was a wuss and a girly girl for letting his wife fix the faucet!

Why the heck is the faucet so important?
If she discovers it first, she fixes it. If she can't, I'm there.
If we can't, we call the plumber.

It sounds to the average unmarried teenager as easy logic :hyper:
Beisdes I don't think Markov meant something like,
'Hey, fix the faucet'
'But I can't!
'You...what? I...thought I married a professional! I think I'll faint!'

Agh When married members talk about marriage it turns to be scary :os

^LOOL, very valid point, same here :p

Interesting posts ! I'm so loving this discussion. :)