Long distance relationships have always been a head scratcher for me, the sad thing is that i always thought they change a relationship and mostly make it worse.
Ive seen it work and ive seen it not, i could never figure them out though, i mean the level of understanding that you have to have in order to make them work?
I think ill be heading down that road soon and the thought of it makes me wonder, i dont know if im capable of maintaining a long distance relationship, im not worried about the bond, just the distance and how it will change things.
Any views regarding this?

I was involved in one a long time ago and it didn't work, but then again we aere not this mature and she found a guy close to her and all that.

My opinion, it never works and it just hurts and makes you worried, its better not to fall into these kind of relationships at all. This was actually the reason for me to not ask anyone else out.

When two people start dating, they always want to be near the other person for affection, passion, romance, etc., how would you stay away from that person? It will hurt and also create unholy desires. Men tend to steer off towards eye candy they see around and eventually get a hang of it, I can't imagine what a woman would do in that situation as us men are known to be dogs and a woman who wants some in front of em can never stay hungry!

^ thanks for that Riv, i totally agree with you in a wierd way, and yet i find myself in one, its not something i can get out of, i cant throw 3 years away,
cant we pretend not ALL men arent dogs?
Youre a guy, u mentioned SHE found a guy closer to her, wat was your position?

If both the partners mean well, then I don't see distance as a factor of destroying the relationship.. Nothing is impossible.

Most of my premarital relationship was long distance and it was diffilcult. Very difficult. We broke up a couple of times but always went back to each other. It is always to do with how much attention, love, care you expect from your partner and because we deal with time difference, different lifestyle and many more in a long distance relationship, it makes it difficult to for us to get what we want from a relationship.

Then, I started thinking.. the only reason he's far away from me is because he's developing a career. He's there because he needs to graduate, work, make money, marry me, guarantee a good life for me and my children.. I changed. I started expecting less from him, and whenever he calls, I don't complain about not talking to him for 2 or 3 days, instead, I make the best of it.. gradually, it was a relationship you only see in dreams..

I guess all you need is to think positive :star: If you really think the guy/girl is the right person for you and you see your future with them, then you have to sacrifice and tolerate until you guys are not in a long distance relationship anymore.

It requires lots of hard work and effort.. it isn't easy!

I think they require a lot of patience and understanding. Also, you have to be willing to accept that you're not going to get as much attention as you normally would get in a "normal" relationship. Sometimes you're going to want to be with them or talk to them but that would be impossible, and you need to be able to accept it instead of letting it get you down. You also need to be able to trust your partner completely, seeing as you probably will have no clue what they're up to where they are.

They're hard, and most of the time they make your life miserable, but then when you do get to be with the person, you appreciate them a lot more and every moment you get to spend with them is so special.

I personally would tell someone who was considering a long distance relationship to think twice and consider all the difficulties.

My relationship is a long distance one. A long distance marriage, to be precise. It's not ideal, but then again it's only temporary. I'll survive. I hope.

its not impossible to be in love even if the distance was a matter !

-If you both love each other so much and willing do take this no matter what
-and this will help them later to deal with any problem they face.
-and it shows if they really love each other and can be together no matter what happened

I think its cute and will make the couple remember those days later on

It is always to do with how much attention, love, care you expect from your partner and because we deal with time difference, different lifestyle and many more in a long distance relationship, it makes it difficult to for us to get what we want from a relationship.

Then, I started thinking.. the only reason he's far away from me is because he's developing a career. He's there because he needs to graduate, work, make money, marry me, guarantee a good life for me and my children.. I changed. I started expecting less from him, and whenever he calls, I don't complain about not talking to him for 2 or 3 days, instead, I make the best of it.. gradually, it was a relationship you only see in dreams..



you just stated all my thoughts endure whisper .. and thanks for the great advice. the whole how much we get out of each other was the biggest issue i thought about, i think if we dont hanndle that it can ruin everything, and i dont want that to happen.
i want to see it through, and youre right, hes transfering for a major he prefers and that will hopefully give him a better life, i hope it goes well!

Libellula that sounds great, especially that youre actually going through it, not that im happy about that ;s its just seeing someone pull it through makes me feel better about being able to, and im sure marriage is harder!

I think its cute and will make the couple remember those days later on

LOVE ur positivity !

Can you explain this long distance relation ship please ?

You mean via net or some one you met but he/she left the country and living some where else ?!

^ thanks for that Riv, i totally agree with you in a wierd way, and yet i find myself in one, its not something i can get out of, i cant throw 3 years away,
cant we pretend not ALL men arent dogs?
Youre a guy, u mentioned SHE found a guy closer to her, wat was your position?

as I said, we were young, we went to the same school and then she moved to be 4 hours away (how far is Arlington from Houston?), and well I had a cousin dere, n they hooked up n "she" broke up wid me through my cousin cuz she found dat guy n went out wid him before breakin up wid me.

lol, this whole thing just shows how insecure I am towards relationships!

personally i think if you guys love one another it will work especially that you have been together for 3 years thats almost a life time

They do work!

All what a couple need to do to make it work is trust each other, understand each other and put a lot of effort to make it work. But in the end it's worth it.

They do work!

All what a couple need to do to make it work is trust each other, understand each other and put a lot of effort to make it work. But in the end it's worth it.

What he said! :)
I am not in a relationship. She is not in a relationship.
We both love each other and we are MAKING it work.
Stay faithful to the end and it will work. :cute:

do u kno wat she's doing right now?

do u kno wat she's doing right now?

Yah.....I do :p

no, u kno wat she told u!

no, u kno wat she told u!

Isn't a relationship based on trust?

Happened to me with my Omani ex...he had to go back home (visa expired and he was done with studies). He wanted to maintain a long distance relationship. Heck we were together for almost ten years here in the states but when he HAD to go home was hard on us both. When he left we both cried.....and when his family rejected us to marry that was hard but he still wanted to remain close and I simply could not due to the distance and his family. Sometimes real life interferes and you have to make choices and I honestly believe long distance relationships just DO NOT work in the long run. When you are with your partner it should be TOGETHER....NOT 1,000 of miles apart. Just reality.

From experience, they do work. Might not be perfect but worth the wait.

Rosso, can you blindly trust the most unfaithful creature on earth?

marianna.... well said

I look at it like this.


In some situations it can be a blessing. :hyper:


But in other situations it can tear you up inside.. not because you don't know what they're up to, but because you simply can't be close to them.

I would never wish on anyone what happened with me. When you are with someone for so many years and they HAVE to go home and there is family and laws keeping you apart...GOD....even now I tear up thinking.....anyway....you feel pretty empty...like your arms physically ache along with your heart.

Life is short...love means being together....maybe if you have to be apart for a few months due to schooling or a job but in the end you gotta find a way to be together.........just HAVE to.

Been there, done that and it didn't work out. The distance got the best of both of us.

Rosso, can you blindly trust the most unfaithful creature on earth?




huh? :bored:

Rosso, can you blindly trust the most unfaithful creature on earth?

marianna.... well said

Looks like someone got cheated on :p

Well let's see, from my point of you, I wouldn't be with someone I do not trust with my whole life.

I would never wish on anyone what happened with me. When you are with someone for so many years and they HAVE to go home and there is family and laws keeping you apart...GOD....even now I tear up thinking.....anyway....you feel pretty empty...like your arms physically ache along with your heart.

Life is short...love means being together....maybe if you have to be apart for a few months due to schooling or a job but in the end you gotta find a way to be together.........just HAVE to.
I agree. I guess they would only work if you plan on being together at some point. If it starts off as long distance and you don't seem to have any plans to be together in the near future, then it would probably be totally pointless. A relationship isn't just based on feelings. As Thalia mentioned, you need to be close to one another.

If the distance is temporary, because of your studies or job situation, then at least you know that you are going to end up with them at some point. You have something to look forward to and work towards.

Libellula that sounds great, especially that youre actually going through it, not that im happy about that ;s its just seeing someone pull it through makes me feel better about being able to, and im sure marriage is harder!
Yep. We were in a long distance relationship before we got married, and that was a lot easier than it is now that we're married. The thing with relationships is that, in our culture and society there are so many boundaries so even if you're involved with someone the most interaction you'll have is meeting up with them or seeing them somewhere someday. When you're married, you live with them when you're together, you're around them almost all day, you share the same bed, you see them first thing in the morning, you basically act like a married person.. and then when you go back to wherever you usually are, you have to readjust and get used to living the single life. It's like you're playing 2 roles in your life and you are constantly rotating between these roles.

95% wont work..5% works with luck and effort!

Aaah I'm against these type of relationships. Don't see myself getting involved in one. I want my guy to be nearby and not thousands and thoudands of miles away.

^What if your guy had to leave the country, would you break up with him?

^
That what happens most of the time and that what I hate the most...
Relationships show that someone is not serious when THAT happens..

I think Long Distance Relationships makes the bond stronger between the couple.

I think Long Distance Relationships makes the bond stronger between the couple.

If they mean it. Then yes.

^What if your guy had to leave the country, would you break up with him?

I won't get involved with someone who studies/works abroad in the first place. But if he had to leave temporarily it's okey I can tolerate his absence. If he was going to leave for a long period of time I'd go with him!

But if you're not married how could you go with him?

i think if there's a solid n strong base of the relationship other then just fun.. then it'll lats.. n if that base is there then trust is there.. n nothing will change between them.. like they r infront of each other.. but only they talk on the phone n net n not face to face..

I am friends with this American soldier who is from Missouri stationed in Iraq. I am just pen pals but sometimes when you are placed in a situation like war it is good to have friends whether near or far to get you through some trying times. So long distance has its places.

But if you're not married how could you go with him?

Good Q. All I know is that he would not leave me no matter what :P If he was going to leave for educational purposes then I'm sorry but he's gonna have to pick either me or his studies.

That's why I said I won't get myself involved with someone who might leave or someone who already studies abroad. Cause I know for a fact that the time and the distance will get the best of us. I can't keep up with a long distance relationship...and this has nothing to do with trust by the way.

Long distance relationships are just not my thing..

I never understood why long distance relationships were hard - perhaps that is in reference to me only. Maybe it is because, even if I was in a relationship, I don't need it to be physical - meaning to see one another and hang out. Phone, Msn and text is more than enough for me. I can wait for marriage to see him day in and day out :p

However, if I was in Libellula's situation, then I do get why it would be very hard.

Good Q. All I know is that he would not leave me no matter what :P If he was going to leave for educational purposes then I'm sorry but he's gonna have to pick either me or his studies.

That's why I said I won't get myself involved with someone who might leave or someone who already studies abroad. Cause I know for a fact that the time and the distance will get the best of us. I can't keep up with a long distance relationship...and this has nothing to do with trust by the way.

Long distance relationships are just not my thing..

how about supporting him? his studies is his future.
i think if you love someone you love his dreams too, and just as much as he wants them id want them too. im willing to take the distance with it and as Rossonero said, hope it makes the bond stronger.
Lym i agree with you on the getting physical thing ! see it comes handy to keep some sort of distance ! ;p

I don't like to repeat myself but I'll describe it again in broad strokes. As I said earlier I'm totally alright with him leaving for a short period of time, you know maybe he wants to get over with his MA or something. So a year or two would be fine. I can cope just fine. But I don't think I'll be able to put up with anything longer than that.

The way I see it, relationships generally are hard to maintain especially if it was a long distance relationship, you have to double your efforts and give it your all. And I'm not a patient person at all. I want him to be nearby so that I can keep an eye on him. The thought of him being in the same country and somewhere close by will give me peace of mind I wouldn't have to feel all down and depressed because he's away.

I think it's very hard to stay committed to a person who's thousands and thousands of miles away. "il b3eed 3an il 3ain, b3eed 3an il qalb". I know a shit a load of couples who had to end their relationships cause of the distance thing. No one said it's easy and I'm not willing to sit there watch other happy couples having fun when I'm all lonesome, with my spouse million of miles away and might not be back anytime soon.

And then again that's my own humble point of view. Maybe it differs from one person to another. But I was just not born for these types of relationships. Period.

well, it's not like we'll be meeting up everyday if he was here! that's our society. most of the interaction happens on the phone, msn, etc.. until you're married anyway. i don't see why would a long distance relationship not work.

i'm like Lym, phone and Msn is more than enough for me, until i'm married. :)

And who said it has to get physical and we have to meet up occasionally?! I never said anything of that sort. I want him to be nearby so that I can make sure he's alright. So that I don't feel a wave of longing each and everytime I think of him cause I know he's here with me so I've got nothing to worry about..