Wanted to open this thread for a while now .. and thanks to Endure Whisper she reminded me and chose the right words :p

I was involved with my husband before marriage but at some point I received a proposal from a different guy

Guys, you're involved with this girl...you love and she loves you..you want each other but some guy comes and proposes..How will you handle the situation? Say her parents are encouraged more by the other guy for some reasons..maybe he's related to her. How would you handle it?

Girls, you're involved with the guy, just like I said .. you share the same feelings and you suddenly get a proposal from some guy you don't know or a guy who is related to you. What would you do if you had the 100% choice without your parents interfering .. and if they did what would you do?

Grazie :D

Lol if she really loves me and i am sure that my parents wont mind if i marry her i guess she will refuse the proposal and waits for me

See, there is only so long I am willing to wait for. It really depends on why we are not officially engaged or why he has not proposed yet. If I think it is a convincing reason, then yes, I will wait. But if all I see from him is "talk" and no action supports his claim, then I am afraid I will get to know somebody else and might end up even marrying him.

But I will not reject several proposals because I am merely waiting for him indefinitely. Imagine rejecting good men because of a man you love and one who claims loves you back, only for him to never knock on your door in the future. You've already rejected so many men for a man who never intended to propose and now it is too late; no body else is approaching you for marital purposes.

What I am getting at is that women have to be smart here. I mean, we are the ones who do the "waiting". If we were the ones who went out to propose, then I would be more willing to wait. But sometimes, it's too risky to just sit there and wait when there is no guarantee he is going to propose in the first place.

It's up to her to make a choice

I agree with Lym completly .. it depends on the reason .. if he is just posponing the proposal for not logical reason .. then sorry I would think about the other proposals .. if its for a valid reason ..then I will wait for a while but if I dont see him solve his situation .. I will have to start accepting other proposals.

I agree with Lym....actions speak louder than words and if the man says he loves you but does nothing to cement the relationship then the best thing is to move on. If the guy is a coward about making a commitment then why remain with him?

What does the man have to do in order she would wait for him?

I think it depends on how long they have been together. For me I would say if a woman has to wait more than 2 years to get a proposal out of a guy then she really needs to move on.

I would refuse the proposal. As simple as that.

why can't the girl propose instead?

What does the man have to do in order she would wait for him?
...engagement ?

I'd expect the guy whom I am involved with to come and ask for my hand, if not.. Then he's in it for a different purpose, obviously not marriage.. Since he can watch me walk away and do nothing about it.. I'll give him time, and be straight-forward with him, but if he takes no action then bye bye!

why can't the girl propose instead?

Girl propose? :o Hunz, it doesn't work like this in this part of the world :p

Girl propose? :o Hunz, it doesn't work like this in this part of the world :p
well she can propose to him in private, and he can do all the running with the daddies etc. i'm sure girls have their own ways to drop hints regarding marriage. if marriage talk comes along and he's changing subject to football or wrestling, then it's time to look the other way or be patient and see if he's all that....

i'm sure girls have their own ways to drop hints regarding marriage.

and this thread is an example of the main hint :D "Someone is interested in me.. *hint*hint* Move your as$ and come propose!" :p

I have proposed ... never been proposed too ... have been propositioned though many times. :p

I hate the whole arab mentality of getting involved with people you barely know, which is why some over here are saying 'i won't wait long', 'if he wants me he'll ask for me now'. Duh, life is not that easy, and I really don't think that's the way a relationship should start, it seems so robotic and systematic. If you love someone you wait till the time is right to make a move, if someone proposes while you're involved with someone, then the right thing to do is say no, if you think you can even consider someone else then what in gods name are you doing with the other person you're supposed to be involved with?

I will do my best to keep the girl, but I will never go all the way to let the court marry us despite the family… I would do my best and if the family was so persistent, I would just step out even if the girl asked me to keep on…

seeing that many girls can't wait to get proposed to.....isn't there a house and furniture to buy? appliances? doing up the house to a reasonable living standard....
or does the daddy provide all these?
over here the couple take about three years saving for all these...

Minerva, when we say propose we dont mean him poping the question .. to us in ME proposing means aproaching the family. When a couple are in a relationship in this part of the world, marraige would be the discussed very early because no respected girl would jepordise her reputation when marraige is not clear.
Its just that, if the guy said I am with you to marry you .. but he never goes ahead and aproach the family .. you as a girl start questioning his intentions.

I'd turn down the guy who proposed to me.

As long as I'm in love with the person I'm with, we're happy together, and I know that we have a future together (he's indicated his intentions), I'll stick by him. Of course some people would say it's foolish to turn down those who are serious, when the person you're with has only been talking about marrying you, but hasn't taken the steps to get there (ie propose!). Still, I'm willing to give a chance. How long I'm willing to wait depends on both our situations. If I was young, still a student, not ready for marriage, etc I'd wait as long as it takes (to a certain limit, of course - 4-5 years?) If I was getting older and felt that I needed to settle down then I'd probably set a deadline and if the guy I'm with didn't pop the question I'd just move on and start to consider these other proposals I'm getting.

It would really suck if you waited so long for someone, and in the end you found out that they never meant to marry you in the first place, or they changed their mind somewhere along the way and couldn't admit it. You'd have wasted so much time on them, as well as missed out on other opportunities.

In the end, it all depends on the details of our situations, but if the guy's old enough, mature and responsible, as well as financially independent, I don't see why he should delay proposing.

so proposal comes before 'falling in love' or seeing that they are well suited? how can they tell so early in the relationship?

I have heard guys know pretty quickly if the woman is for them or not. Guys what do you think?

^ No way jose!!

so proposal comes before 'falling in love' or seeing that they are well suited? how can they tell so early in the relationship?
Sometimes there is no relationship to begin with! That's something that I really can't digest, to be honest, but whatever works for them, I guess..

Normally what happens is, some guy will decide that it's time he settles down and gets married. Or, his family will decide for him that it's time he gets married and gets out of the house! His family/women in his family will come up with a list of eligible young women. Their recommendations would be based on a lot of things: the girl's family, her reputation, looks, etc. It will somehow be arranged for the guy to see the girl(s) (he could be told where she goes to uni or work). If he likes what he sees, he'd trust that his family would only recommend someone who they think is suitable for him, so he'd approach the girl's family and make clear his intentions; that he want to marry her/get to know her for marriage purposes. If her family approves, they might start talking.. they'll get to know each other, and a few months later they'll get married.

They'd either get married because they simply suit one another, or they'll fall in love on the way and end up marrying for love.

I have heard guys know pretty quickly if the woman is for them or not. Guys what do you think?
Hmm I don't know about that, but my husband said he knew from the day that he met me that he wanted to marry me lol. How far that's true, I don't know. Maybe he was just trying to be romantic and saying that to be nice lol.

What is the trend now in Oman to marry for love or still primarily arranged marriages then?

so what if a girl meets a foreign guy at university, and really likes him, but his family is living in another country...can that work or will it be a total no-no?

What is the trend now in Oman to marry for love or still primarily arranged marriages then?
I don't know what the trend is, but most people I know get married for love. They might meet through a situation arranged by their families, but while getting to know each other they develop feelings at some point.

so what if a girl meets a foreign guy at university, and really likes him, but his family is living in another country...can that work or will it be a total no-no?
Most girls know from the beginning that marrying a foreigner is not even an option.

Some families are incredibly picky about what type* of Omanis they'll allow their daughters to marry- there is no way they'd even consider the idea of letting them marry foreigners!

* By type, I mean what tribe they're from.

turn down the proposal. if i'm in love with someone who has the intention of marrying me, i think it's only fair from my side to turn down the proposal. unless if he was taking too long to propose, and there is no good enough reason not to.

If i were invovled, than I'd marry my guy and the boots to the other one. As far as parents are concered, Its not them marrying the 2nd guy afterall. So its my life, my decsion...

Say her parents are encouraged more by the other guy for some reasons..maybe he's related to her. How would you handle it?



I'll be as objective as I can

I'll get my semen analysis result & request him to get his

The parents should hand over the girl to the one with a higher sperm count

ROFL, marriage is not all about semen and having sex :p


When I love a girl I won't tell her to wait for long. I'll propose to her when am ready and I'll leave the choice to her If she wants to wait or not and I won't blame her if she chose not to wait.

I'm glad I reminded you of the thread you want to open :cute:



Girls, you're involved with the guy, just like I said .. you share the same feelings and you suddenly get a proposal from some guy you don't know or a guy who is related to you. What would you do if you had the 100% choice without your parents interfering .. and if they did what would you do?


Well, the only reason I accepted to talk to another guy when I was still in a relationship with my husband (who wasn't my husband then), is because I really thought our relationship wasn't going anywhere. There were lots of trouble going on between my family and his, basically things were just going WRONG! That's why I accepted getting to know someone else but it didn't go far or serious. It stopped a week later and I continued being with my husband for 2 more years before we got married.

Guys, you're involved with this girl...you love and she loves you..you want each other but some guy comes and proposes..How will you handle the situation? Say her parents are encouraged more by the other guy for some reasons..maybe he's related to her. How would you handle it?

Since it's the girl that's been proposed to then I guess it's solely her choice.

Now when you say "you want each other", I'm assuming that both are aware that marriage is coming along soon, in which case the girl should be wise enough to stick to her man whom which she loves and has feelings for. I think it's only normal in this case.

And when you say "Say her parents are encouraged more by the other guy for some reasons", I'm assuming her parents know about their daughter and I, and if they think this other guy is better for their daughter then this is when $hit hits the fan. Depending on the girl and the strength of the relationship between the two, her parents could persuade her or even pressure her into accepting this proposal. But then again the love we have for eachother wouldn't exactly be something you could throw away.