I think a clarification is needed. Is it true that if a guy likes you, you will know? And if he doesn't approach you or show you in some obvious way, then he is just not that into you (as the book says)?

Should women stop making up excuses for men who are just not into them : " I think he is just shy", "I think he is busy", "I think he is scared of rejection" and move on instead? Or in some instances, those excuses can be true?

What do you think? :hmm:

Love your threads Lym. :cute:

I'm the type of person that doesn't like putting her hopes up, just incase.
So I've never sat around wondering if this guy or that guy was into me or not. Or rather, I wouldn't sit there believing he was and making excuses as to why he hadn't approached me yet.

I've never had a long drawn out friendship with a guy that has made me spend a long time of me believing he's into me when he might not be. So, I just refuse to think of it. If he was, then I'll just wait till he'd make it known.

Kind of like innocent until proven guilty. Not into me until he says he is.

Never make assumptions or put your hopes up until it happens; he asks you out or asks you to marry him, whatever the situation is. And I go by the book: "He only likes you or is interested in you when he tells you that. Period."

I second Thalia. I would not consider him into me unless he says so. Cuz sometimes some gestures could be misleading. I personally would move on. i'm not one who makes excuses... :XD: nor am i optimistic. i might think a guy doesn't like me even if he did and move on nevertheless for the same reasons thalia mentioned.

I think I opened a thread about "Approaching a girl" and the out-put from female side were very negative.. So i'm sure that men always feel un-secured about approaching a girl unless if she gives him the right signs.

well, i'm not sure i've ever been there, but i wouldn't think someone is into me until he actually tells me that he is. i can sense if someone is interested, but i never thought it's enough for me to get my hopes up.

i never made up excuses for anyone, but i think some of them might actually be true. you never know..

I think I opened a thread about "Approaching a girl" and the out-put from female side were very negative.. So i'm sure that men always feel un-secured about approaching a girl unless if she gives him the right signs.
I remember that thread.. and my reply was.. sure, but be charming - not shallow. Be polite - not too forward.

Like.. do not so this...

"OMG, I was looking at you from across the room and I swore I could see the outline of your bra. What you doing saturday?"

*SLAP*

I think if a guy really likes you nothing would get in his way, however in some situations a guy might like you but he is just waiting for the time and the right place especially for us in Arabic cultures if a guy comes up to a girl telling her that his in to her this means he has no respect for her.

I remember that thread.. and my reply was.. sure, but be charming - not shallow. Be polite - not too forward.

Like.. do not so this...

"OMG, I was looking at you from across the room and I swore I could see the outline of your bra. What you doing saturday?"

*SLAP*

I dont think Omani guys are that lame ,,not yet :P

Thalia, generally girls in Oman or arab world in general dont accept any lines even "charming-polite-not too forward"

I guess you could feel it from that thread ^^

I think a clarification is needed. Is it true that if a guy likes you, you will know? And if he doesn't approach you or show you in some obvious way, then he is just not that into you (as the book says)?

Should women stop making up excuses for men who are just not into them : " I think he is just shy", "I think he is busy", "I think he is scared of rejection" and move on instead? Or in some instances, those excuses can be true?

What do you think? :hmm:
I agree that if a guy like you he will def. show you or atleast try to approach you. I am not that person who understand hints so if he didnt approach me, I wouldnt know and will not even bother.

I dont think Omani guys are that lame ,,not yet :P

Thalia, generally girls in Oman or arab world in general dont accept any lines even "charming-polite-not too forward"

I guess you could feel it from that thread ^^
Slip a note into her bag or jacket pocket.

What ever you do, don't embarass her.

Thalia I never did that in my life and I dont think I will ever dare to do so ,, I feel it bit low :D

interesting.. just observing :D

I dont think Omani guys are that lame ,,not yet :P

Thalia, generally girls in Oman or arab world in general dont accept any lines even "charming-polite-not too forward"

I guess you could feel it from that thread ^^ i think it depend on men intention... some arab men are really jerks, and some dont really know how to approach girls...

I had this guy who came to me and asked me like this: ofcourse i know him, he is not a totally stranger:

Is it a crime if I ask you to join me for A CUP OF coffee?

I was mmhhh not really a crime but THANK YOU...

Thalia I never did that in my life and I dont think I will ever dare to do so ,, I feel it bit low :D
What is low?
Leaving her a note?

Imagine.. her walking home, putting her hand into her pocket and finding a paper.. everything else goes out of focus, cue romantic music, the sun comes out, birds sing as she reads..

" roses are red, violets are blue, I know you're a suicidal maniac, but evilFire loves you.."

awwww..:love:

What is low?
Leaving her a note?

Imagine.. her walking home, putting her hand into her pocket and finding a paper.. everything else goes out of focus, cue romantic music, the sun comes out, birds sing as she reads..

" roses are red, violets are blue, I know you're a suicidal maniac, but evilFire loves you.."

awwww..:love: I think it will work only if the girl knows him...but u dont expect the girl to accept if is from a totally stranger!!! it feel so disrespect when I find notice on my car!! i dont even have a clue what time and who kept it...i just drop same place...

What is low?
Leaving her a note?

Imagine.. her walking home, putting her hand into her pocket and finding a paper.. everything else goes out of focus, cue romantic music, the sun comes out, birds sing as she reads..

" roses are red, violets are blue, I know you're a suicidal maniac, but evilFire loves you.."

awwww..:love:


The girl go home and find a note ...
+She call her brother and hand him the number
+Her brother get his cozins and find out your address
+They give you a nice visit and you will see the stars in daylight.

I think he is just shy", "I think he is busy", "I think he is scared of rejection" and move on instead? Or in some instances, those excuses can be true?

What do you think?

I think that she should say: "I think he needs a Viagra an hour before we meet"

When a man loves a woman it shows, yes it shows... There are no definite signs but you will simply feel it.

About real actions I think if a man loves a woman nowadays it is very easy to say so. In the past it was like a big disaster among the community to express such feelings, but now it is just nothing more than a walk in the park.

Don't get to much guessing about such feelings. If a man likes a woman he will say it, and if a man loves a woman he will say it. The catastrophic things is when the opposite happens and the woman thinks that the man likes her so she acts on it, or the man thinks that a woman loves him and acts on it. It is very embarrassing and disappointing at the same time, and mostly 99% it ends in disappointment and depression.

A real man who is genuine in his cause and will for sure will defiantly step forward and express his appreciation. Pretending to be polite is an "Old Joke" no one is telling right now. And if he was really truthful in his love and he is shy to say it, then don't make a second thought he is simply a 'weak unhealthy man'. For sure being shy to say "I like you" for a woman doesn't mean that the man is 'pure' or something....

Good Luck!

The girl go home and find a note ...
+She call her brother and hand him the number
+Her brother get his cozins and find out your address
+They give you a nice visit and you will see the stars in daylight.
:hyper:

Especially if one of them cousins is her future husband.

:p

I think you can easily tell if/when a guy is not that into you. The way he treats you, the way he talks to you...unless you're a dummy who doesn't get it. Or maybe you're in denial or something.

What about the other way around? "She's not that into you?" When a guy just doesn't seem to get it...the girl isn't into you so just leave her alone!

I think you can easily tell if/when a guy is not that into you. The way he treats you, the way he talks to you...unless you're a dummy who doesn't get it. Or maybe you're in denial or something.

I personally can't tell if someone likes me or not and that fascinates my friends. A lot of them can just tell. So the only way I know that somebody is into me is if he approaches me personally. Otherwise, I will be oblivious to his interest. It doesn't make me a dummy. It just makes me someone who believes that some men can be friendly yet it does not necessarily mean when he is giving you attention that he is into you.

So I guess to make this thread productive. I will ask:

Guys, if you like a girl and you're into her, are you going to make sure she knows and if so, how? What tactics would you use? Are you going to be verbally direct or would you use subtle hints?

I did a posting on this on my old blog:

http://marianna68.wordpress.com/2008/03/26/hes-just-not-that-into-you/

I personally can't tell if someone likes me or not and that fascinates my friends. A lot of them can just tell. So the only way I know that somebody is into me is if he approaches me personally. Otherwise, I will be oblivious to his interest. It doesn't make me a dummy. It just makes me someone who believes that someone men can be friendly and it does not necessarily mean when he is giving you attention that he is into you.

So I guess to make this thread productive. I will ask:

Guys, if you like a girl and you're into her, are you going to make sure she knows and if so, how? What tactics would you use? Are you going to be verbally direct or would you use subtle hints?

What about flipping it around and asking some questions from a different perspective as well:

If you thought some guy might have a romantic interest in you, but you weren't sure, what could you do to provide him with an opportunity to show you?

In a perfect world, what should a guy say or do to let you know he is romantically inclined?

Are there times when an overt approach might turn YOU off and when a more patient, long-term "strategy" would be wise? I.e., could a guy who was REALLY into you lose you by saying too much too soon?

What if a guy wants to give HIMSELF a testing period? In other words, what if he really likes you but wants to see if the romantic appeal is passing fancy? Would it be better for him to wait to say something, to make sure he is being honest with himself?

Guys, if you like a girl and you're into her, are you going to make sure she knows and if so, how? What tactics would you use? Are you going to be verbally direct or would you use subtle hints?


When I be in this situation I'll tell you :D but I had a crush on a girl once and I couldn't ever dare to look her into the eye. My heart kept throbbing faster as I step forward to her. yaah am a coward :shy:

And I don't think all guys show the same signs when they like a girl. Some of them just act the opposite: When a guy tries to avoid a girl and doesn't talk to her alot, he's in love with her. He can't tell her this and thinks everyone will know about it if he only smiles to her so he prefers to watch her from behinde the scene and waits for the right moment to tell her. This is the dumb guys love like me :D

To be honest I don't like to be fawned over...i.e. the guy is tripping all over himself to please me. Where is the fun in that? Yes I like a chase but at the same time respect. I am pretty savvy if I see a guy is not interested....why chase something that isn't worth the energy. Complicated.

From personal experience, I know some guys are just shy or worried that they'd get rejected. Still, I wouldn't assume anything. The only way to know if a guy likes you is if he explicitly says so. Don't waste time trying to find hints or interpret things he says.

I think every guy has his own ways of showing interest.
I for example, do not make it too obvious in the beginning, but gradually the hints start becoming more n more obvious, if I see no respone, then 6aff! (move on)

lol "6af" :P

i hate putting my hopes high ... i always put them as low as i can (wich is bad too!) xD so that then i just try to move on about the thing but still sometimes you just cant move on even if you put your hopes low

I've read the book and I actually agree to it..

If a guy is sincere about you and actually likes you..
THERES NO WAY you wont find out.. or not know about it when the times right..

And about excuses.. If it was like a once or twice thing.. That's whatever.. But if it's starting to be constant thing and this guy always has a reason for w.e it is hes doing.. Than He's totally not into you ;p lol

Bottom line is a guy whos really into would show you that he is
And a guy whos not into you.. Would show that as well but in other ways

For me it's really easy to figure out, you just gottah keep ur eyes open and not fall to deep within the fantasy and romancin of the relationship ;p

go with ur instincts and just live it through, good or bad its not worth thinking what if .. ever. life isnt that long and you might as well take your chances. sometimes we all think about what other people are 'actually' thinking. from personal experience i think ive been wrong most of the times. we cant be the judge, just do your part and let fate take its turn .. i think ;)

Personally if I notice a guy looking at me in a special way or treating me differently and sweet talking me than that’s a sign to wither he likes me or not I never take it seriously and to be honest I never know that the guy likes me it’s my friends who will tell me ''oh that guy likes you'' I usually ignore them and just be me …but if they were right and he confessed that it would be awkward cause I always say no we might end up being close friends or just I don’t know it would be weird anyways :think:

Both men and women don't like to come across as desperate so sometimes you notice that both like each other but tend to ignore each other!

Sometimes men are straight forward and tell the girl that they like her to be more than just a "friend" and are up for a possibly leading 2 marriage relationship and others who clearly state that its a friendship that might develop to something else. Now those who say that its a friendship that might lead to something else are most of the time the ones who screw it all up in my opinion so best thing to do is just wait and see what happens. Getting into a relationship and not knowing what might happen is useless, I tend to expect the worse now and I don't look for anything more than "lets be friends".

Girls should value them selves more and make the man do the approaching part, I personally won't approach a guy even if I liked him I wait for him to make the 1st move for one good reason its safer that way.

this thread should be named "She is just not that into you"

this thread should be named "She is just not that into you"

Riiiv, these things are not to be blamed on a him or a her, on a Person i know things didnt work out with you so well, but you cant be so against it?

^eh? That was a long time ago, and the things I see nowadays just discourage me into having relationships.

it's 'He Is Just Not That Into You' for a reason, that's the book's title. :D