I was watching One Tree Hill a few days ago, and there was this scene where some guy sexually harassed Haley by grabbing her back side. Her husband-Nathan- saw that and was about to hit the guy. Now the weird thing that I don't get is that she got upset that he stood up for her.

So, I was wondering about your preferences in such a scenario.

Girls:

Do you want your partners to stand up for you if someone harasses you or picks on you? Or are you of the sort who does not need anyone to come to your rescue, you are not a damsel in distress and you can certainly take care of yourself just as well?

And guys:

Is it a reflex to stand up for the woman you love if you see someone else harassing or disturbing them? Do you see yourself as her protector? Or you don't need to do anything as she is a big girl who can take care of herself?

Knowing myself, I very much doubt I'll just sit there and do nothing. I'd rather do what I can and if she gets pissed then I'll feel that there's something wrong with the way she feels about me.

if she gets pissed then I'll feel that there's something wrong with the way she feels about me.

Care to elaborate?

I mean, just because she doesn't want you interfering does not mean she does not love you or does not have feelings for you...

Yeah he better stand up for me or I’ll end up fighting with him I think it’s important for a guy to stand up for the women he loves it proves a lot and personally a jealous guy its kind of hot but obviously to certain extent.

i sure want him to stand 4 me.. especially 4 some1 herrasing me! i sure can take care of myself, but when he's around he's the man that's suppose to protect me no matter wat!

Hmm..

Most men here will never harass you if they see you with a man.. so maybe he's walking too many damn feet infront of me. :rolleyes:


..but in the case that they do, I won't mind him giving the harasser a dirty look, or telling him something in a non provocative way.. but I wouldn't want him to get into a fight, get hurt or hurt someone else.. I think it's an awfully stupid thing to do, because it's not like anyone is gaining anything from it.

The guy will end up in hospital and then draged to police station,but I expect that she does in action because I wont be always around her and she should be able to deal with such cases.

I will be extremly mad if he didnt stand up for me .. why do I have a man for? :p

I know I can take care of my self .. but I love to be protected

My husband always does and I love it.. Whenever we're in a mall walking around and here, in Oman, men LOOK even if you're with a man, he tells them: "Do you want yourself killed?" or "Is your grave digged already?" .. and I feel soooo niiiiiiiiiiiiice :angel: that's if they look or smile or anything of that sort. I also remember my husband dragging someone to the police station once loool

If someone touched me, my god.. I don't even want to think what might happen!

Here's another way it can go..

Jerk harasses wife.

Husband says nothing because he's a whimp.

Goes home and get's on the wife's back because it was "her fault" she got harassed.


I'm not sure who's more of a jerk now.

Thalia did that happen to you ? :(

I dont imagen any guy not standing up for his family (wife) , but again I think the woman should know how to deal with this because her MAN wont be around her all the time.

hell yeah i want him to stand up for me!! :yes: i need someone to protect me...(not that i am not capable of protecting myself) but that would be great...however, there may be an instance where i'll say "honey, it's alright..i'll deal with it myself" ..and then he should just let me handle it :6:..but mostly i'd like to know he's got my back and i can always count on him :love: yaaaaay
lol

that's just the thing though..no one ever messes with me so i doubt i'd encounter such a situation:p

khalli wayed ygarrab bas! (let someone just try!!)...:6: staring is one thing ( i wont die so no need to get defensive)...but grabbing or touching,, uffff..ooooh he's gonna hate the day he came out of his mother!!! yel3ano! (god damn him):XD: either me or my husband (whoever he may be) will deal with him REAL GOOD :6:
and we'll see if he'll live to tell the tale:p

Thalia did that happen to you ? :(

I dont imagen any guy not standing up for his family (wife) , but again I think the woman should know how to deal with this because her MAN wont be around her all the time.

True. And some women are like that. Whenever something like that happens she calls her husband/boyfriend/brother/father and complains! What can he do then!? LOOOOOL!

It happened to me once. I was going up the stairs in college with my hand on the rails and this guy put his hands on mine, all I did was remove my hand and reached to slap him but he bent backwards so I couldn't slap him.. Ahh tough luck for me. But anyway, I did what I had to do, I didn't just let him go away with it.

Angel Eyes, we men cant control our anger some times and people end up dead,, you dont want ur man end up in jail right ? ^^

Let me tell you a small story ,
A guy tried to annoy my sisters via e-mails,I found out (my way) his details and address and he ended up in hospital and I ended up in jail for 12 hours.

^ My maaaaaan! Not really but yeah, I admire men like you!

Is it a reflex to stand up for the woman you love if you see someone else harassing or disturbing them? Do you see yourself as her protector? Or you don't need to do anything as she is a big girl who can take care of herself?

Yes, yes and yes, to all three questions. :)

I'd definitely stand up for her no matter what and no second thoughts about it, but each situations calls for a certain measure and I could easily get carried away. The reason I said yes to the third question is in certain situations where the harm is minimal (like a guy giving her looks), I'd also want her to know how to react and not just accept anything that comes her way waiting for someone to come to her rescue. Just like someone already mentioned, I might not always be around to take care of the prick.

Let me tell you a small story ,
A guy tried to annoy my sisters via e-mails,I found out (my way) his details and address and he ended up in hospital and I ended up in jail for 12 hours.
This is a grim reality in Oman that has not faded away. This is another reason why ladies need to be aware of all the consequences too. But I commend this, this is called "ta2deeb sfal" which is still very much needed in Oman until the young men in our country know their limits. :)


On a side note, something I find really frustrating in Oman is when a gorgeous looking young lady walks in somewhere like City Centre flaunting her ASSets (no pun intended, or maybe just a little) and not exactly being the most conservative of the gang gets edgy and annoyed with looks and flying comments she gets.

Seriously, what do you expect? Do you expect to walk in and have all the hundreds of horny SOB's not look at you but rather check out Moza Khamis who's showing off her new abaya and burqa? :)

Yes I'm aware of the fact that we're free to wear what we want and do what we like, but hey, in our society some things come at a price ;)

Angel Eyes, we men cant control our anger some times and people end up dead,, you dont want ur man end up in jail right ? ^^

Let me tell you a small story ,
A guy tried to annoy my sisters via e-mails,I found out (my way) his details and address and he ended up in hospital and I ended up in jail for 12 hours.
So you tarnished your conduct for what?

This is what I find silly, with all due respect.

It doesn't make you more of a man and doesn't make your sisters any less harassed. Any other guy can do the same exact thing.

It's better to deal with things when you're not high on the testosterone and in a blinding rage.

Is it a reflex to stand up for the woman you love if you see someone else harassing or disturbing them? Do you see yourself as her protector? Or you don't need to do anything as she is a big girl who can take care of herself?

Yes, yes and yes, to all three questions. :)

I'd definitely stand up for her no matter what and no second thoughts about it, but each situations calls for a certain measure and I could easily get carried away. The reason I said yes to the third question is in certain situations where the harm is minimal (like a guy giving her looks), I'd also want her to know how to react and not just accept anything that comes her way waiting for someone to come to her rescue. Just like someone already mentioned, I might not always be around to take care of the prick.


This is a grim reality in Oman that has not faded away. This is another reason why ladies need to be aware of all the consequences too. But I commend this, this is called "ta2deeb sfal" which is still very much needed in Oman until the young men in our country know their limits. :)


On a side note, something I find really frustrating in Oman is when a gorgeous looking young lady walks in somewhere like City Centre flaunting her ASSets (no pun intended, or maybe just a little) and not exactly being the most conservative of the gang gets edgy and annoyed with looks and flying comments she gets.

Seriously, what do you expect? Do you expect to walk in and have all the hundreds of horny SOB's not look at you but rather check out Moza Khamis who's showing off her new abaya and burqa? :)

Yes I'm aware of the fact that we're free to wear what we want and do what we like, but hey, in our society some things come at a price ;)
Without getting into a long drawn out argument about who's fault it is..
..most men who will do it, will hit on anything with two legs. Some even with four.

It's not acceptible that a man harasses a woman. no matter what she is wearing, so let's not make it "ok" by saying "she should expect it."

No. She shouldn't expect it. People should learn to have some manners.

If I wear a nice expensive ring should I expect to get mugged? Should I never wear jewellery because muggers exist? I think the muggers are the bad guys and the ones who should be being given a hard time. Not the other way around.
No matter how you personally feel about flaunting that gold ring.. we have to agree that getting mugged is a bad thing, no matter what. ;)

I know where you're coming from Thalia and I couldn't agree more :)

Excuse me for simply stating what takes place in actual fact in our society, sad but true.


For us, if everyone is dressed conservatively (mostly covered, the hair could even be uncovered) that would go unnoticed by most guys. But if you're flaunting your God given commodities in a micro-skirt and a tight tank top somewhere in City Centre, you're bound to get some attention (let's not call it harassment). I'm guessing in your society if a lady suddenly decides to leave her bikini on after tanning at the beach and isn't bothered putting on shorts and a shirt and decides to take a spin in around the city she might get the same kind of attention ;)

Now I'm in no position to start telling people what to wear and what not to wear, but use your common sense and know the society you live in. If you're walking around with a Louis Vuitton hand bag in the slums it doesn't make it right for a mugger to mug you, but don't expect him to not be tempted to do so. :)

So you tarnished your conduct for what?

This is what I find silly, with all due respect.

It doesn't make you more of a man and doesn't make your sisters any less harassed. Any other guy can do the same exact thing.

It's better to deal with things when you're not high on the testosterone and in a blinding rage.


You might fnid it silly , but I cant calm myself, even if I see the guy after a year.. its just me :)

Is it a reflex to stand up for the woman you love if you see someone else harassing or disturbing them? Do you see yourself as her protector? Or you don't need to do anything as she is a big girl who can take care of herself?

Yes, yes and yes, to all three questions. :)

I'd definitely stand up for her no matter what and no second thoughts about it, but each situations calls for a certain measure and I could easily get carried away. The reason I said yes to the third question is in certain situations where the harm is minimal (like a guy giving her looks), I'd also want her to know how to react and not just accept anything that comes her way waiting for someone to come to her rescue. Just like someone already mentioned, I might not always be around to take care of the prick.


This is a grim reality in Oman that has not faded away. This is another reason why ladies need to be aware of all the consequences too. But I commend this, this is called "ta2deeb sfal" which is still very much needed in Oman until the young men in our country know their limits. :)


On a side note, something I find really frustrating in Oman is when a gorgeous looking young lady walks in somewhere like City Centre flaunting her ASSets (no pun intended, or maybe just a little) and not exactly being the most conservative of the gang gets edgy and annoyed with looks and flying comments she gets.

Seriously, what do you expect? Do you expect to walk in and have all the hundreds of horny SOB's not look at you but rather check out Moza Khamis who's showing off her new abaya and burqa? :)

Yes I'm aware of the fact that we're free to wear what we want and do what we like, but hey, in our society some things come at a price ;)

You got a point, you cant do much if you cant handel your family member doing that,but I dont expect guys touching and all, I would kick the guys ars even if If she wasnt my sister,because that is a wrong public act.

Angel Eyes, we men cant control our anger some times and people end up dead,, you dont want ur man end up in jail right ? ^^

Let me tell you a small story ,
A guy tried to annoy my sisters via e-mails,I found out (my way) his details and address and he ended up in hospital and I ended up in jail for 12 hours.

are you serious?:o wallah??(really?) okay then if that's the case and you can't really do anything physical to them , then what CAN you do?:os

so what is there to do when the time comes that i need him to defend me? what do I do in that situation? what if he's not around? i should just ignore a guy that grabs my behind?:os haaaa??

of course i don't want to him to end up in jail but at the same time..i can't just sit there...:os he can't just sit there and watch it happen...!

Angel Eyes calm down , I dont think that every guy got the same short temper I got.Let me clear that am really not a bully person , you can ask Nico bambi *wink* but its red-line when it comes to family. I felt happy when I was in jail for 12 hours and I didnt regret it not even for a moment.


As a girl I can give you some solutions:

+Call the security if you are in a center and let them deal with it
+if a guy is following your car then simply drive into a police station and if he had the guts to follow you then report him since you are there.
+Call your brother/cozin and tell him that some one is bothering you.
+Go to the Dean or Student affairs and report him.


These are some solutions I can suggest.

^wow! thank u...lol..i sometimes have a bad temper myself so i REALLY HOPE (for my sake and his) that i dont hit him. i don't tollerate such things...:angry:
damn...i'm actually disappointed that you cant hit them! you end up going to jail for SELF DEFENCE!!!??:bored: ppfff..he's the one who asked for it in the first place!! gosh!!

nice tips:)
-------
note: just to make it clear..i am not a violent person and i am NOT a bully but i have my body to protect and i will go at almost any length to protect it. it's disgusting how some men can be and the lengths that they go!

same with me..if someone crosses that line or does anything to me or my family or to the ones i care about, uff...god help him! god help me!!!!!!!

thank god this never happened to me..and inshallah it never does :)

I don’t advice girls to Slap/Start swearing back... because some times find it so offensive and they become violent or aggressive. Just try to follow the tips I gave you and you will be all right.

Info: If you Hit some one and report him first then you are Right and he is wrong ( Oman Police Rule)

This is how things work ;)

I don’t advice girls to Slap/Start swearing back... because some times find it so offensive and they become violent or aggressive. Just try to follow the tips I gave you and you will be all right.

Info: If you Hit some one and report him first then you are Right and he is wrong ( Oman Police Rule)

This is how things work ;)

thanks.

i didnt get your info :think: you mean i CAN hit them (in defence)and i wont get in trouble?:think:

I'm not asking you to hit any one :D
but if it happen and you hit some one then make sure that you go to police and say " some one tried to hit him and I want to complain"

i'm not sure i'm gonna feel like i'm married to a man if someone harassed me in front of him and he just stood there.

Nella,

What you expect him to do ?

i don't know, the least he could do is give them a piece of his mind. i don't want him beaten up people, unless they did something worth the beating.

my aunt was walking once with her daughter in Qurum's Park, and it was really crowded so they kinda got separated, when she found her daughter, a guy was taking advantage of the crowd and..to cut it short, i think my aunt's hit broke his back. :p and that's the least he could get honestly, perv!

that's why i hate crowded places. i bet Muscat Festival is the best time of the year for all them pervs.

Is it a reflex to stand up for the woman you love if you see someone else harassing or disturbing them? Do you see yourself as her protector? Or you don't need to do anything as she is a big girl who can take care of herself?

Yes, I believe I should stand up for her and protect her. Whoever dares will end up kissing my *****.

In the end, most fights between guys are because of girls :p

ofcourse I want him to stand by me, may be he can have a man to man talk...but i wouldnt want him to get into fighting or hurt himself

And guys:

Is it a reflex to stand up for the woman you love if you see someone else harassing or disturbing them? Do you see yourself as her protector? Or you don't need to do anything as she is a big girl who can take care of herself?

To me it will be a reflex!
I can't just stand there and go like: "You are bug enough to take care of yourself.."
If that happens then why am I there?
Why did I marry her and love her?

I don't really... I will usually get upset and do something about it.
The problem will come if she stops me...
I will just lose it there!
since something happened to her and she didn't let me do ANYTHING!

I would have smacked the guy who offended me and would hope my partner gives the guy a good tongue lashing.

If you're walking around with a Louis Vuitton hand bag in the slums it doesn't make it right for a mugger to mug you, but don't expect him to not be tempted to do so. :)

I agree with you on the common sense and all..

But what I'm trying to say is.. there should not be slums or muggers out - they are the problem.. and I should be able to walk around with my louis vuitton handbag if I wanted to. ;)

I think alot of energy is spent on telling people to hide their handbags, and not enough energy on doing away with them pesky muggers.

I think this is ideology not nature.

Men defend women: that's nature.

Now of course, sometimes some men do it in an obnoxious way.

But when a woman "doesn't like" a man she is with looking out for her then she's either a very odd fish, or--more likely--someone who has been trained since girlhood to think that men "taking care" of women is an attack on feminine independence.

I remember reading a story once of a couple of modern up-to-date Western journalists in East Timor before independence. One was a woman, a tough, no-nonsense, I-can-take-care-of-myself type. The other was a man of the modern stripe who was perfectly happy to let her fend for herself.

They got in some sort of situation and some Indonesian journalists started attacking them. They began beating the woman with truncheons on the head and the body. The man knocked her down, lay on top of her and sheltered her with his body. She was pretty much okay. He got several broken bones and a fractured skull.

This is what we do, we men. This is in our nature. We look out for women. If you train that out of us, we don't become more respectful of your independence. We become either predatory beasts or callously indifferent.

Referring to One Tree Hill, I think Haley was more angry because the guy her husband wanted to beat up was a troubled student in her class. Anyway, I would expect my husband to react and not just sit there.

On a different note, men in Oman stare and drop comments even if the girl is fully covered. She just needs to be a girl. It doesn't matter what she's wearing. Maybe the uncovered girl would get more comments, but both would get comments no matter what they're wearing.

I remember one time in Korea a man got fresh with me and I punched him in the face. I was single at the time. But it felt good to let that jerk know he was NOT going to disrespect this lady.

I can take care of myself, but if it doesn't bother him that I am being harassed, then he is simply not man enough for me.

They will get something from me for sure.

Referring to One Tree Hill, I think Haley was more angry because the guy her husband wanted to beat up was a troubled student in her class.

Actually, she was angry because the last time he had a brawl at the bar, he ended up paralyzed and that was the end of his basketball career. So she wanted him to control his temper because he always ends up disadvantaged.

On the subject, I expect him to do something about it but not to blow it out of proportion. I hate it when they create all this drama for nothing! Not everything is about fights and showing him that he should not have messed with you. However, with some situation I think I am capable enough of taking care of myself and I would not like him to interfere like when a guy glances at you or throws a comment in your direction. I would simply ignore that and I don't want him to do anything about it. However, when it gets physical, that is when I expect him to get involved.

But as clueless said, it should bother him. That is the essential bit as I would like a protective (and not a jealous) man.

im very protective, not just for my future life partner, also my relatives, even the far ones...

i can easily go hit the guy without even thinking :cute:

Referring to One Tree Hill, I think Haley was more angry because the guy her husband wanted to beat up was a troubled student in her class.

ummm, no, the guy who harrased haley was that rock singer, the troubled student was the 1 who hit him :p



back to topic, i hate seeing guys just looking at thier women defending themselves n doing nothing :bored:

I don't condone violence, but I have to admit I've reacted violently before. I get stared at a lot when I'm out in public despite the fact that I cover up (as does any female creature in Oman), and although it gives me the creeps, I can live with it. What I can't tolerate is being touched by a stranger. This one time I was at a book exhibition and this guy kept on staring at me and following me around. At some point, he ended up standing so close behind me that he was touching me. I didn't think, I simply reacted. I slammed down this big, heavy, hardback dictionary on his head. The sucker deserved it.

Some guys are so creepy; they stare in a way like they're undressing you with their eyes or something. It still happens even when I'm out with my husband, but their staring is usually cut short. He always notices (sometimes even before me) and sends a dirty look their way then mutters something under his breath like, "wtf is that sob looking at?" I know he gets worked up, but as long as he controls his temper and doesn't do anything stupid, I'm fine with it. It just shows that he's protective of me and he cares. I'd honestly be surprised if he didn't react in some way.

In "some countries" grabbing a women's butt can be deemed as sexual harassment. However in some countries too , " defending " a victim by bashing the harasser can actually get you charged for Assault. So it's best to not take the law in your hands if you are unsure of it.

Naturally I think every husband would be on defend mode if not physically than verbally. Personally I know mine would and I'd be happy for him to defend me.

Crazily enough I think the women in the gulf are more prone to these sorts of advances by rude men ( I know I've been harassed in the middle east more than anywhere else in the world) and there should be a law in the gulf to protect us women from these crazy individuals.For starters how about forbidding the staring dilemma ,haha!