Do you often get comments or hints from your family that they have certain dreams that they expect you to fulfill?

For example, a mother would tell her daughter: I can't wait to have a grand daughter so she can be named after me.. Or I want one of my kids to be a doctor (when you're in your last high school year), etc..

Another example, my grandfather wanted me to do Pharmacy. When I graduated from high school, he promised me that if he was still alive when I graduate from college with a degree in pharmacy he will buy me my own pharmacy.. Now that I graduated with a different degree he told me that I missed the pharmacy he was going to buy for me LOL! Cute grandfather.. he gives more than a pharmacy... anyway.....

Do you feel tensed when you are expected to fulfill your parents dreams?

Do you try your best to do what they want done or do you think of yourself first before thinking about them?

If there was a time where your parents expected something from you but it's too late.. Thinking about it now, would it have been the right thing to do?

To clarify, I am not talking about their rights (I don't want responses like: I wish I treated my parents better than I did).. No I am talking about their wishes and dreams, exactly like the above examples.

Do you feel tensed when you are expected to fulfill your parents dreams?

Both my parents have different dreams for me. My dad is mainly focused on my academic life and his dream is for me to do well in my studies and become an English teacher/professor in a University/college. My mom on the other hand is obsessed about marriage. Whenever someone in the family gets engaged she tells me how much she wishes it was me. My dad's dream doesn't worry me because I know I can achieve that, however I get really stressed when talk about marriage come up I just get really annoyed because to me 22 years is still young and there is plenty of time. My mum thinks I'm old enough and thought I was old enough ever since I finished school. Plus there are many girls who are younger than me who are getting married recently and I think this scares my mum a bit and she's worried that I may never get married!

Do you try your best to do what they want done or do you think of yourself first before thinking about them?

I think about both those dream quite a lot, the marriage thing bugs me a lot and I find myself obsessing about it sometimes.

If there was a time where your parents expected something from you but it's too late.. Thinking about it now, would it have been the right thing to do?

Not really, study wise after school I did whatever my dad wanted me to do, I got accepted to the uni he wanted me to go to and studied the degree he wanted me to study. Marriage wise I turned down proposals and I don't regret doing so as I don't see myself with any of the guys who did.

i don't think it's right parents or grandparents need to fulfill what they didn't manage to become through their kids or grandkids....they are different persons. all i wish for my kids is to do something they truly believe in and to be truly fulfilled...whatever they choose to be.

Yeah, my parents wanted me to get like a 95%+ average in my final year of school. I really disappointed them with a mere 91%. They wouldn't stop talking about how "disappointing" it was until a few months ago. Oh, it's been 3 years since I graduated lol.

Also, they wanted me to follow in their footsteps and become a doctor. I almost did, I applied, got accepted, but then changed my mind at the last possible moment. All I can say is thank God I opted against it, no matter how disappointed they were!!! It's just NOT for me. I'm too lazy for that.

The only expectations they have are academic, and somehow I never seem to meet them.

Now that I'm studying accountancy, they want me to qualify as a chartered accountant after, and do my Master's as well, then become partner in a firm. We shall see. I have a feeling this time I might do what they want me to. What else do I have to do anyway?

my mother always wanted me to 'stand on my own two feet'. so i enrolled in the B.Ed course and she totally approved. fourteen years down the line, i am studying piano. i have always had the 'art' urge...big time in me...and she's proud of me now that i have reached a high level within a short time. i do things in my work that my mum used to call 'rubbish' and get acclaimed for it. slowly she's seeing that what i am doing is an extension of what she aspired for me.

My mother wanted me to be a teacher for what reason I don't know, where my brother wanted me to do medicine, he was willing to send me abroad for this. Though I said no for both & I picked up what I felt interesting, even it wasn't what I was dreaming of.

With my parents, it was never about marriage (not yet anyways). Their first priority was for me to choose a great profession which would be rewarding in every way. My mother wanted me to become a doctor and she tried to convince me by mentioning how helpful I will be to humanity and how I will be rewarded by the Almighty Lord. Also, how well it pays. My dad on the other hand never chose a specific profession for me to pursue but he obviously wanted one of the elite professions: engineering, medicine, dentistry, pharmacology, law etc. But I was never pressured by them to choose a certain career. Everything I contemplated was good enough for them.

So I chose Law. My mother was obviously disappointed but I told her that I did not want to spend 10 years of my life studying and if that is not bad enough, when I started working, the hours won't help much especially if I wanted to have a life at home with hopefully a husband and kids. She still went on till the last minute about the disadvantage of studying Law and the ethical implications I might encounter but when I knew I was going to study Law abroad, she accepted the fact that her daughter is going to be a lawyer and not a doctor.

Now my parents only dream for me is to become something and that is my dream too, so I am not complaining. So yes, their dream is my pleasure :)

My parents never ever pushed me to do anything except to 'keep my options open'..

Sometimes I wish they did.

since i was in high school my grandma n parents wanted me to to get married n have a dozen children ! well they still nag about it :p

but when i said no i want to study first, they wanted me to become a doctor! well i applied coz iv always wanted to be a doctor.. but i missed the entrance exam n 1 of our distant family members is a heart surgent.. n that's wt i wanted to specialize in if i entered the field.. so she said.. if u wana be like me n have no life enter medicine.. so i changed my mind n went to business school..

now that iv graduated.. n im expected to have a career.. the marrige subjuct is bk, n they say i dont need to work coz i dont need the money.. guess we're bk to square 1.. where i have to just apply n show them that this is my life not theirs!

Nope, Al Hamdulillah. They go by "We feed you for the sake of Allah alone: no reward do we desire from you, nor thanks." - [76:9]

They do what they, as parents, are supposed to do. They raised us, educated us, taught us how to be good Muslims but they are telling us at the same time that they don't need us to return the favour, they only did what they did for God's sake, not ours. So if we DO return the favour, it's not because they need it, they don't. If we want to, we should only do it because pleasuring our parents is a way to gain God's pleasure.

I like that idea very much. That's why I love my parents, they never forced me to do anything, they gave me options. Example: If you do this, bad things will happen. If you do this, good things will happen - it's up to you to choose.

Of course I'll choose the thing with good consequences!

I remember I used to be very good in studies and used to be the 1st in the class but I dont know what happened then I decided that I should get married at very young 17... my parents didnt force it I wanted myself.. :XD: but I promised that I will complete my studies and I did, I went back to college got my degree and am working on master... but it was tough with kids and husband who was driving me mad... anyway now my parents and my kids are proud of me:)

I told my parents what I want to grow up to be. What they do now is push me towards this dream, my dream. So it's all good, lol:p
I guess I'm doing both, fulfilling my and their dream:cute:

i don't know, they always wanted the best for me. fear god, get good marks, enroll in a decent college. marry a good man, and just be a good kid i suppose.
oh yeah my dad wanted me to be an alchemist! lol.

so far, i'm a big disappointment. they never said that to me, i just know.

My dad keeps putting the accounting major thing in my head, all he talks about is accounting! He even said that if I don't get half a scholarship, then I'm going to do accounting in the uni he chooses. It is so out of order! I want to double major in graphic design and photography :( I want to follow my dreams, not his.. I'm better off staying home instead of following what he wants :mmhmm:

As for my mum, she's so easy going.. But lately she started something that is kinda annoying :mmhmm: Since Libby got married, and she keeps telling me that once I graduate from high-school I should consider getting married at a young age.. I just tell her: "mama I'm 17!!" :p And she would be like "It's ok when I was in high school all I though about was marriage.." She's cute :D My mum always let me do whatever I wanted.. She never says no to me :)

i'll go for my dreams first...and perhaps fulfill their wishes my own way. but i'm not going to change a whole career i want just to be something my parents want me to be that doesn't apply to me.

Do you feel tensed when you are expected to fulfill your parents dreams?
No, they never put pressure on me..they just want me to graduate or complete postgraduate studies if I wanted to. My parents never asked me to do what they wanted and asked me to choose the major and university I wanted. I guess I only turned my mom down when I told her that there is no way I would marry someone from the family :p

Do you try your best to do what they want done or do you think of yourself first before thinking about them?
I try my best but If I see no point in that, then I wouldn't.

If there was a time where your parents expected something from you but it's too late.. Thinking about it now, would it have been the right thing to do?
Yes, I disappointed them in my high school grades. I was careless

When I finished my bachelor's I wanted to enter law enforcement. However my mother esp. has issues with it. I ended up not going that route.

I generally don't bother telling them what I am up to. I enjoy being independent. :cute: After everything is done, then I tell them usually. It's better that way. :cute:

I generally don't bother telling them what I am up to. I enjoy being independent. After everything is done, then I tell them usually. It's better that way.

I wish I could be like you! But I can't help keeping my thoughts within :p

he still went on till the last minute about the disadvantage of studying Law and the ethical implications I might encounter

You know it's really strange. You hear this all the time. But seriously I think that being a lawyer is a really moral and ethical profession (especially if one is in the area of human rights, I have a lot of respect for them!).

Or maybe it depends on what lawyer you want to be. But even if one chooses to be an un-ethical lawyer, they get disqualified from practicing law. So either way, one gets forced to have morals and ethics in this profession. :D

They've always wanted me to get +90% in my final school year.
I guess I dissapointed them by getting a degree in 80's.

Anyways, now my mother always hints that none of my brothers married someone from her family, so she's saying; 'Dante, u be the one' .. She always tells me about my cousins & how nice or beautiful they are.

I don't think that I should do whatever my parents put on me.
I have my independent life & personality.
I look to things my way.

I'll ask for guidence, of course.
But I only will take 'thoughts' .. Not 'Orders'.