What would you do if you have doubts about how faithful your husband is?! All of a sudden, he spends less time at home and whenever he's back, it's about bed time.. Your gut feelings says that he's doing something wrong behind your back but so far you've got no proof and can't face him for no reason because you don't want to show him that you're unconfident.

Some would say "the wife should start with herself"; but the wife, in this case, is always available for her husband. Some call her the "role model" in being a wife.. Having a wife like her, no man can have a reason to hurt her.

So women, what would you do?

- Talk to him about your feelings regardless of how he might think of you?
- Stalk him whenever he's out with friends?
- Show up randomly at his work place?
- Search for dirt in his emails or phone?


And men, if you have a wife who has doubts about you and how faithful you are to him, how would you expect her to tell you that?

I would drop hints from time to time, but I guess you would just "know" if your husband is cheating, I dunno how to explain it but your gut feeling is usually right. I wouldn't stalk him or anything like that, but if I touch his phone and he goes crazy then there is something he's hiding and that is enough proof I guess.

Hmmm.... I would love it if she just tells me directly to my face.
I love it when she tells me things face to face and the truth with no left or rights.
I, for a fact, know she might feel like that maybe because she thinks I am away a lot and all but there has to be something called "trust" and it is the thing that will make marriage go on, right?
But I feel she wants to say something I would open the subject up and see what she wants to say.
I think the best way to avoid this is to talk honestly to each other and tell each other exactly what you both do everyday.

(.... I can't believe I just said all that as if I am married! :XD:)

I found out the hard way when you invade a person's privacy such as email it kind of makes you feel well...like dirt.

The best thing is to confront that person...as hard as it is. You can do the detective work...even hire one but just be ready for the fireworks to light up if you do this. I think you should be really really sure though first before confronting. If you get suspecious phone calls from women or if they hang up every time you answer the phone. (You can always *69) if you have the ability in your country or phone service...

i want her to come to me and tell me what she is feeling on a nice dinner set for me not shouting, not screaming, not making me feel that i m cheating on her even tho i am because then i will start feeling that she already knows or thinks that why not do it

First, before confronting him about it and giving him the chance to come clean without alot of drama.. I would ask if there is something wrong with my own self esteem at the time. Sometimes, we tend to "imagine" things when we feel down, unattractive, and unloved - even if this can't be further than the truth.

- Search for dirt in his emails or phone?



^ That's exactly what I would do. I would search men's two best kept secrets. :p

I would discuss my concerns with him as to why he is being late (I wouldn’t accuse him though).

If I am still suspicious, then my next step would be snooping around for evidence in his emails, phone, bank statements,,, I would also play tricks on his friends,,

I wouldnt ask him if he was cheating outright but i would ask him if he was happy, if perhaps there was some way we could improve our marriage together...... confronting men head on never works esp with arab men. you have leave him a little room to move, a little lee way no one wants to admit that theyve been behaving badly.

I agree with Thalia, we should also look at ourselves and see if maybe we're just being a lil oversensitive or perhaps are going through a rough patch where we need a lil more lovin. If thats the case then tell him you need a lil more attention.

Do not snoop! Firstly if youre wrong and hr catches you you could damage your marriage and secondly do you really really want to see what hes been writing?

^ That's exactly what I would do. I would search men's two best kept secrets. :p

The best thing for a husband to do is get out ahead of that and simply not have private email or phone or letters...

...what on earth do we need them for?

^ That's exactly what I would do. I would search men's two best kept secrets. :p


I am sure you must have have heard of men who own two GSMs and two email addresses

...what on earth do we need them for?


Playing innocent, arent we?

I will definitely need "evidence" and I will try to get that in any way I can (provided it is not reaaaally dishonest of me :rolleyes:) because there is always a chance he will try to deny it and make me look like a paranoid fool. I need to be well-prepared before I confront him and when I do, I'm the one who is going to make him look like a fool for trying to play me.

Also one needs evidence to make sure they're not accusing their spouse out of nothing which will only create more mishap if it was not true.

Playing innocent, arent we?

Yes, I COULD be lying, but I'm not! :p

I don't have private email or anything else. Nor does Elizabeth.

The old rule in traditional American culture was this:

When you write a letter to a married person, if you are of the opposite sex you address it to both of them.

If you don't, it gets returned to you unopened. Or alternatively, the other spouse should immediately open it. :p

Honestly, why is it a good idea for married people to have private correspondence?

- Stalk him whenever he's out with friends?
- Show up randomly at his work place?
- Search for dirt in his emails or phone?


When the above starts to happen, arrange an urgent appointment with the psychiatrist

And men, if you have a wife who has doubts about you and how faithful you are to him, how would you expect her to tell you that?

I expect her to come to me and says: Are you cheating on me ? coz am having doubts about it :D . I think there shouldn't be doubts between couples. They should just frank each other of what they think of each other.

I will definitely need "evidence" and I will try to get that in any way I can (provided it is not reaaaally dishonest of me :rolleyes:) because there is always a chance he will try to deny it and make me look like a paranoid fool. I need to be well-prepared before I confront him and when I do, I'm the one who is going to make him look like a fool for trying to play me.

Also one needs evidence to make sure they're not accusing their spouse out of nothing which will only create more mishap if it was not true.
Once a "friend" told me "your husband this this and that"...

This incident coincided with the time me and her were not on the best of terms.

Now, if someone tells you things to put doubts in your head, they may be doing it as a friend because it is true, or they may be doing it out of spite because it's not true and they would only like to harm you.

Either way, I confronted him. I said, "so and so said this this and that. This is your chance to tell me whether she is telling the truth or a pack of lies".

Either way, if he'd been unfaithful, nothing can change it. And there is no telling if he is lying or not. So, he has his chance to come clean, maybe iron out some problems if they can be fixed etc etc. If he lies and gets caught after.. well then we have a big problem don't we?

I am not talking about hearsay, but hard felt evidence. Getting caught in lies, more than a few people having seen him somewhere with a certain someone getting cozy, romantic gifts to her, lying about his whereabouts, less at home, changes his attitude, perhaps phone calls, a decrease in our sex life etc. It all builds up and soon enough, it is too obvious for it to be a lie. I am not going to talk to him about it if there is a chance I am just paranoid. But it is good you confronted him, because it seems there might have been nothing else indicating that he is cheating on you - except this friend.

I am not talking about hearsay, but hard felt evidence. Getting caught in lies, more than a few people having seen him somewhere with a certain someone getting cozy, romantic gifts to her, lying about his whereabouts, less at home, changes his attitude, perhaps phone calls, a decrease in our sex life etc. It all builds up and soon enough, it is too obvious for it to be a lie. I am not going to talk to him about it if there is a chance I am just paranoid. But it is good you confronted him, because it seems there might have been nothing else indicating that he is cheating on you - except this friend.
If I had THOSE kind of suspicions, std's would be my first and biggest problem.

It would probably upset me more that he'd bring someone else's filth home. By then, I imagine the core of the union is way past ruined and being repaired - not worth getting upset oversomething you can't fix.

- Search for dirt in his emails or phone?

I wouldn't really be that stupid to leave stuff and save them where anyone can see them .. So that If i go to the toilet for 5 minutes and leave my phone on the table and everyone can see it .. and you know you've been hiding something from your wife or girlfriend .. It would be really stupid of you .. So you girls might want to think of how stupid your husband is before thinking about how smart you are for being with him ..

And men, if you have a wife who has doubts about you and how faithful you are to him, how would you expect her to tell you that?

If I am cheating on her .. That means there is no use of being with her .. Unless she is helping me with something or I am with her for this specific reason .. and when she finishes helping me or when that reason comes up and finish .. I will leave her at that moment than ..

Again .. If you're cheating on her .. there must be something that shes not impressing you in and that another women is .. which means .. it's better off to go with the girl who's impressing caring for you most and leave the one who's not .. is that one who can go with another person who can suits her needs and wants ..

To be nice .. You might wanna explain to her to what shes not giving you and if it doesn't work .. Of course it's better to go with someone else if you can the person .. << You have your reasons!

I wouldn't confront him until I had evidence. Yes, I'd search through his things if necessary (phone, email, phone bills, credit card bills, etc.

There's nothing lower than a woman who continuously doubts her man (or a man who doubts his woman)..if he isn't cheating b4 the doubts then your doubts will drive him to cheat on you. I suggest you gather evidence before any type of confrontation.

Anyways..I can't ever see myself cheating and I very much doubt that the woman I end up with will cheat, and if she does, and if I suspect then well I'll just make sure it's true and then kick her out of my life without even looking back.

i wouldn't act upon my gut feelings, i'll have to have evidence first before i attempt any sort of confrontations, hint dropping or whatever.

There are different meanings of cheating though....what would you women consider cheating??
What would something that you would absolutely NOT tolerate and just walk away for good?

There is only ONE thing that i'd NOT tolerate and that is if my spouse was cheating on me by having sex with another! I would divorce him!! :yes:

The other things (flirting etc..)would piss me off surely and all hell would break lose but i wont divorce.

and of course if i suspected something, i wouldnt just accuse..i'd ask questions and talk calmly and express myself.
I can really rely on my intuition so if he WAS cheating (which if anyone were married to me they wouldnt want to cheat anyway :rolleyes:) i'd know. ;)

A fact, women are cheating more on men then the opposite.

To answer your question though, I would tell my wife each and every single thing which happens to gain her trust and if she has even a little inch of doubt, she can freely ask me and I wouldn't mind clarifying. After all we're all human.

If I have a doubt about her? Well I will let God decide, and I know if she loves me she won't steer off

i'd be a nerve-wreck if i doubted that my husband was doing something wrong behind my back, i guess i would check his phone everyone now and then. But i wouldnt stalk him around and show-up at his work-place because i know for a fact, NOTHING can be hidden forever, sooner or later he will get caught