Since I was born till this day everyone says "everyone is different."
So why do they compare and say "If that person did it then you can!"
If is true that everyone is different and good in their own things then why make others feel bad because of someone or something?

I mean when I talk about myself they compare me but when I compare myself with others they shut me down.

I don't know why people don't understand that "different" means we can't be like someone else!

Is what am I saying wrong?

I feel you squinty .. I was always compared to my cousin who is my age. He was the angel of the family :)

we are all different but we are all good at something. sometimes it takes time for us to find out what we are good at.

We are all different but our abilities can be the same sometimes. People, especially family, will always compare you to your cousin who's doing much better than you are, because they believe that you have the ability and strength to do what they do.

I was always compared to sophis^catrina, who's a straight A student, and I wasn't. They only did that because they knew I was smart and I could do it. If, by nature, I was stupid and dumb, they obviously wouldn't make me feel bad. They believe in us and that's why they tell us that.

Since I was born till this day everyone says "everyone is different."
So why do they compare and say "If that person did it then you can!"
If is true that everyone is different and good in their own things then why make others feel bad because of someone or something?

I mean when I talk about myself they compare me but when I compare myself with others they shut me down.

I don't know why people don't understand that "different" means we can't be like someone else!

Is what am I saying wrong?

It’s true that every one got a different IQ and you some times can achieve or do thing think I cant do but you always can do what I can do if you have some thing called “Patience & insistence".

It’s very easy when we type them but very hard to do them.

My advices to you are:

1-Make life very simple and stop thinking too hard about things which you done wrong.

2-If you have people whom shutting you down then kick them from your life totally even if he was your close friend. If he/she was a member of your family then stay away or totally block or you going to lose your self after a while.

3-Stop distracting your-self with many things, choose one thing and focus on it. I’m sure you will have many interests but you should choose the one which help you in the end.

4-Some times its good to be selfish on yourself, I know it’s a nice thing to help others but you won’t be able to help any one if you don’t take care if your-self.

5-My words are worthless if you do not organize your priorities, try to set milestones and goal and write them down, some times we tend to think about things and just forget them next morning.

6-Its always common that all these “blockers” will come to you and envy you when you success,so be careful.

We are all different but our abilities can be the same sometimes. People, especially family, will always compare you to your cousin who's doing much better than you are, because they believe that you have the ability and strength to do what they do.
.

Spot on, exactly what i wanted to say...

and it's true squinty, parents always say "dont compare urself to others, we are different", but then again say "look at flan, u can be like him" ...

seems contridictiong, but they do it for our own good...

squinty, you are right...we are all different..but when people say "if he did it then you can do it" ..that means it is humanly possible...you may not be able to do it EXACTLY like that person did it..but you can do it. It is possible :)

It is a drive for competition and encouragement.

^exactly :)

2-If you have people whom shutting you down then kick them from your life totally even if he was your close friend. If he/she was a member of your family then stay away or totally block or you going to lose your self after a while.


Does that mean I can block my parents without them annoying me?
They are the reason why I am suffering and all..

Sorry Endure Whisper.. People don't always want the best for you when they compare!
They make me feel SO BAD that I feel like killing myself!
Don't tell me they want the best for me...
They don't even CARE how I feel because "they" did what I am doing now that means I can do it.

Spot on, exactly what i wanted to say...

and it's true squinty, parents always say "dont compare urself to others, we are different", but then again say "look at flan, u can be like him" ...

seems contridictiong, but they do it for our own good...

squinty, you are right...we are all different..but when people say "if he did it then you can do it" ..that means it is humanly possible...you may not be able to do it EXACTLY like that person did it..but you can do it. It is possible :)

I disagree COMPLETELY!
Ok.. Let us say someone gets straight A's in studying and I kill myself with it but don't get that mark but my parents don't say "we know you tried your best" but they come and they go like "We just want you to let our heads stay up when people talk about how good you did!"

Tell me how good is that?
They tell me to forget but they make me feel.......AHH!

Evilfire ur a genius!

don't care bout others, n dont compare urself to others, jus liv ur own way. make it simple!

The way I look at it is like this, sometimes people can be condescending and talk down to you to motivate which is wrong. Everyone has their own unique differences, strengths....for example. My daughter is 19 and living at home. Some people I know think she should already be out on her own, working or away at college. THAT makes me mad. They don't know what kind of issues she has or that she is ONLY 19. People mature and develop at different rates.. Albeit there is scientific proof out there regarding the general rates of people reaching milestones but again...not always set in stone.

I agree that everyone has different abilities which distinguish them from others but parents do compare us with others who are successful to encourage us and give as a positive push. On the other hand, this may going to be disadvantageous.

I believe that we people are so different than each other, what you're good at may be what others do not have at all and vice versa..
We used to be compared woth our siblings/cousins/friends which I totally reufuse and feel it's un-fair and biased comparision.

But people keep comparing and make us go crazy, right?
The problem is, no matter how hard you try and do your best to "reach" your family/friends expectations they never notice UNTIL you do better then someone they compared you with but that never stops until all the people they compared you with are lower then you.
I feel that is really wrong.

The reason is because there is always someone better. :)

Most notice when they know you tried your best and it is a bonus when you get better than the person they compared you to.

Most notice?
I wish.... :)
It is not a bonus only.
It becomes like a day of greatness and all but once you go down again say bye bye to happiness! :p