Yeah yeah... Squinty has another probelm...:p

But I am taking it in a HAPPY way, see! :D :p

Anyway, recently I started having a problem after the other.
I feel like no matter what I do there has to be something that crushes me and makes me sad.
When I am happy there HAS to be something that makes me really bad or sad or all the people I talk to are sad and bad.

I want to know of ways on how to get back and be happy no matter what happens.
I used to talk to my friends and cousins to be happy but when I can talk to them...I feel speechless...

I really need to be happy again and be the "always smiling" person again...
(the people who know me know that I am always smiling..)
And know how to turn my negative feelings into positive again.

I feel I don't know how to make it work without advice....

Maybe you need a break? Usually, when that happens it's because there's so much in your life that's going and there's never an end to it. Try going for an adventurous weekend, hiking or camping. Do something that's irregular to your normal life style, and most importantly do it with fun people.

In so many cases, it's just the every-day pressure that makes us angry, sad, down, pessimistic.. so try something out of the norm and enjoy it to the extreme. I am sure you'll come back feeling better and thus dealing with things differently and easily :)

Good luck :)

That's because you're trying too hard to be happy instead of genuinely being happy on your own and based on how you feel about your life. If you're just 'trying' then anything can bring you down to see the real situation you're in, but if you really were happy then you would probably stay happy no matter what.

I think you have problems in your life and you just don't know how to solve them that's why you tend to fall into the same loop over and over again.

Well, Endure, I tried that believe me it didn't not go well. :)
I did somethings I never do in my routine life and didn't feel so good about it...

NaBHaN, I think you are right!
But when I am REALLY happy I can stay happy but how would you feel if you see all your family, friends sad?
Will you still smile and say things will be ok?
I do that but it never gets better until I feel bad or sad! :os
Which I never understood why...

You can't be happy all the time
It's boring

You can't be happy all the time
It's boring

I was happy all the time and it is never boring as my life now! :p
You can be happy most of the time at least then..
I want to be like that at least! :D

Apparently heroin is very effective. Maybe Amo can get you some of the "good stuff" from the pharmacy.

I think you should just live your life normally and being sad for sometimes is good to remind you of the bless of being happy. Reading about your problems, i think you are over sensitive squinty and you exagerate the problem. But try to do things you enjoy, talk to your friends ( being speechless is a normal thing coz it means you have nothing to say ).

I am sensitive, so?
That has nothing to do with me being sad..
I have been making myself better over 4 years and stay happy but I don't know why I can't do that now?
It is like I have these moods swings every 10 minutes! :XD:

I said over sensitive not only sensitive. To be sad there should be something to preoccupy you but apparently there isn't.

It is like I have these moods swings every 10 minutes!

Maybe because of this ? which means aftre a while you'll be happy again.

I wasn't talking about my moods.. When I have these mood swings I know that I can't be really happy or sad..
I was talking in my "normal" days where I don't get these swings.. :)

Well, heroin might still be the way to go, don't write it off without proper thought.

^ mimo stop trying to make the guy an addict, he has enough problems :p

squinty, life is a rollercoaster. There is no way in hell you are gonna be happy all the time. But the best thing to do is to just take everything that life throws your way and try not to let it bring you down too much. Smile and laugh when you're happy, but also cry if you are feeling sad, but dont think that this is abnormal or something. Like Nabz said, you seem to be forcing yourself to be happy...

Just go with the flow dude.

Squinty, take it from me...no one can be happy 24/7. It's the way God created humans.

"Laqad khalaqna al insan fe kabad"

(No one will be satisfied). Happiness comes and goes. Just like the monitor of the heart beat detector..It goes up and down ..it's part of life.

Look at it this way, if we never experienced sadness...then when something good comes along..do you think we'd be happy? We have to know what the negative side is to really feel and appreciate the postive.

Now imagine everything in your life was perfect (which is impossible) and you are always happy..the more good things that come your way will feel like normal. So in order to feel happiness, you have to feel a little sadness.

Am i making any sense? i dont know if i am saying it right :shy:

All i know is that one thing does not last for too long. You may feel happy one day and sad the next. It goes up and down. In a cycle.

And when you ARE sad, dont pretend to be happy because that will make you more sad because you know deep on the inside that is just fooling people. When you are sad, show it. When you are happy, show it.

You are human afterall. Just let it OOOUUUUUUTTTTTT! :D
scream squinty...scream :p

I sweaaaaar im facing the same problem -_-
it sucks la?

^ mimo stop trying to make the guy an addict, he has enough problems :p

squinty, life is a rollercoaster. There is no way in hell you are gonna be happy all the time. But the best thing to do is to just take everything that life throws your way and try not to let it bring you down too much. Smile and laugh when you're happy, but also cry if you are feeling sad, but dont think that this is abnormal or something. Like Nabz said, you seem to be forcing yourself to be happy...

Just go with the flow dude.

HAHAHA!
I am scared of rollercosters! :hyper:
So I have to be scared of LIFE! :hyper:
I don't force myself to be happy because that is like lying to yourself! :)
I do cry and I have been saying that a lot.......
Weird thing is, when I cry I get hurt more and more so I am trying to find things to do to cheer me up! :D
I am ABNORMAL already so crying is not abnormal to me! :p

Squinty, take it from me...no one can be happy 24/7. It's the way God created humans.

"Laqad khalaqna al insan fe kabad"

(No one will be satisfied). Happiness comes and goes. Just like the monitor of the heart beat detector..It goes up and down ..it's part of life.

Look at it this way, if we never experienced sadness...then when something good comes along..do you think we'd be happy? We have to know what the negative side is to really feel and appreciate the postive.

Now imagine everything in your life was perfect (which is impossible) and you are always happy..the more good things that come your way will feel like normal. So in order to feel happiness, you have to feel a little sadness.

Am i making any sense? i dont know if i am saying it right :shy:

All i know is that one thing does not last for too long. You may feel happy one day and sad the next. It goes up and down. In a cycle.

And when you ARE sad, dont pretend to be happy because that will make you more sad because you know deep on the inside that is just fooling people. When you are sad, show it. When you are happy, show it.

You are human afterall. Just let it OOOUUUUUUTTTTTT! :D
scream squinty...scream :p

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Happy? :p
I finally screamed! :hyper:
I don't like screaming even though I feel like doing it but I hate being loud.. :bored:

Ok.. I know that being happy can't last forever... But when I say I am always happy I mean I am happy like 90% of the time. I used to be able to fix things by myself! :)
But now when I am sad or bad... I get so confused which makes me ask for advice (that is why I opened this thread) and sometimes it is stupid and at times it is good.

But to tell you the truth, if life was perfect, EVEN if everyone was happy they will experience sadness no matter how perfect it was when someone dies.
Until this day, I keep thinking about my cousin. It might feel weird but... I feel her presences completed our families place. Without her, it is nothing...
So see.. Even if life was perfect there has to be something to counter it! :cute:

But I did understand what you meant with all that Angel Eyes! :inno:

I sweaaaaar im facing the same problem -_-
it sucks la?

Tell me about it..
At least you can read and help yourself from their advices as well! :D

I think Nabhan makes sense, but the only difference with me and thats personal...if I make myself believe something, in no time I truly believe it. So if I convince myself that I should be happy, then I would be. But then it is short lived like everything else. I've many happy days and indifferent days which is great because it means that I rarely get "sad days". Thank god :)

I think if you want to be optimistic, you need to change your outlook on life. Think positively, try to be care free and indifferent, and gradually, you will learn to be happy, if that is not possible, then at least you will be content which is good enough for most of us.

Take things easy and do tings that makes you feel happy, avoid the company of negative or sad people. Think of the solution and not the problem.
Always put in your mind that your loved ones won't feel happy unless your happy and fine.
Nothing worths the sadness, live your day with love and hope, search for the happiness from your inside.

People say I am pessimistic..
But I am only pessimistic in my studies...
They say that can affect me...
I can't change my outlook on life... Because I have this idea that
"Life is good but it is us who make it bad"

Don't know how to change that...

Faith I do keep the loved one's in my head and I end up sad because I miss them.
The people who went and studied abroad may not feel like this because they might have WANTED to go abroad... I didn't... (opened a topic about it so me no talk about it here.. :p)

^ LoL, interesting. Well just try to cope with it. This won't help you, you have to go over this stage and face your new life strongly..

What new life?
I hate this life really.
I can't trust or talk to anyone in here!
They are all......... AHHH!

Does that answer on what you said?

so you didn't want to go abroad?
KID wake up!! do you know how lucky and priviledged you are to have such an opportunity at your feet?
make the most of it.
troubles are normal in a teenager's life (i'm assuming you are about 17ish.... ?)
not knowing what to do is normal...give yourself time to grow up a bit and stay focussed, your life is worth the effort.

go abroad?
Do you know when I don't want to do something but I am forced to do it that really messes me up from the inside..
So it is hard to be happy and "privileged" at the moment..

I would let anyone come in my place if they want if it gave me the chance to go back to Oman and never come here again but I can't...

Anyway, no I am 18 and growing (it sucks..)... and not everyone is the same when they hear the word "abroad" you know?
I know.. better studies... away from everyone.. blah blah...
But everyone is different, right? :cute:

go abroad?
Do you know when I don't want to do something but I am forced to do it that really messes me up from the inside..
So it is hard to be happy and "privileged" at the moment..

I would let anyone come in my place if they want if it gave me the chance to go back to Oman and never come here again but I can't...

Anyway, no I am 18 and growing (it sucks..)... and not everyone is the same when they hear the word "abroad" you know?
I know.. better studies... away from everyone.. blah blah...
But everyone is different, right? :cute:
make the most of it....five years from now you'll be happy to see that your sacrifice has been well worth it.... going abroad, living on your own is a good way to learn how to be independent and raise your self esteem.

i can be independent no matter where i am....
i LOST my self esteem since i came here..

and can we NOT talk about this... it will mess up my mood even more...
sorry and thank you..

*shakes head*

"Hey boy, wake up! *shakes and slaps squinty * "Look at my eyes, listen to me, tell me how you gonna make it out there if all what you do is cry? Stop complaining and get out of the habit of making excuses all the time. * slaps him two more times*.

"You are probably not a "abroad going type" but boy you better build up your self esteem before it's late, low self esteem is such a turn off in guys, take my word for it".:p

haha i remember how my life was when i was a happy girl ...
i understand what your talking about
i guess i try to put in my head that by time my life will be better and everything will change .... apparently not working =P still unhappy haha

I can't change my outlook on life... Because I have this idea that
"Life is good but it is us who make it bad"

Don't know how to change that...

You don't know how to change that or you can't change? If it is the latter, then no wonder you are unhappy. Part of growing up is changing the way you think to accommodate yourself better in this world. If you can't change, then sorry thats not true. If you can't change, it is simply because you don't want to.

Psychology is a very powerful thing, and to start changing your pessimistic views, you simply have to start thinking positively. Always look at the brighter side; the good in your life and please don't tell me you don't have any good in your life or else I would seriously shoot you myself :rolleyes:. You can change the way you think, it is something that millions of people have done before you and millions have done it after you, you just need to will it and want to! Life is indeed good, and it is us who make it bad but then you can always be part of the population who make life "good" and that is something worth being happy about. Isn't it?

^ I've said the same thing as Lym several times, you need to change you're attitude, too much negativity man!

squinty....please don't argue! Read with an open mind!

*shakes head*

"Hey boy, wake up! *shakes and slaps squinty * "Look at my eyes, listen to me, tell me how you gonna make it out there if all what you do is cry? Stop complaining and get out of the habit of making excuses all the time. * slaps him two more times*.

"You are probably not a "abroad going type" but boy you better build up your self esteem before it's late, low self esteem is such a turn off in guys, take my word for it".:p

I hate travelling in the 1st place! :bored:
I am not complaining like before, haven't you noticed? :rolleyes:
And yeah it is killing me from the inside... But who cares!
Life is so different.
*looks into her eyes* crying is good since I have no one to talk and no one who can helpm me face to face!

Self esteem... BLAH!
I don't need that to be happy...

You don't know how to change that or you can't change? If it is the latter, then no wonder you are unhappy. Part of growing up is changing the way you think to accommodate yourself better in this world. If you can't change, then sorry thats not true. If you can't change, it is simply because you don't want to.

Psychology is a very powerful thing, and to start changing your pessimistic views, you simply have to start thinking positively. Always look at the brighter side; the good in your life and please don't tell me you don't have any good in your life or else I would seriously shoot you myself :rolleyes:. You can change the way you think, it is something that millions of people have done before you and millions have done it after you, you just need to will it and want to! Life is indeed good, and it is us who make it bad but then you can always be part of the population who make life "good" and that is something worth being happy about. Isn't it?

What if I want to change it but it is not working?
Everyone tells me to not compare myself with anyone or do what I can do best. Well, I can't change my mind so easily and when I try I ended wanting to KILL myself which sucks... Maybe for once in my life EVERYONE should let me do what I want and not MAKE me do what they want! :bored:
When that happens maybe then I can change the way things are..

When I think positively, I feel hot, hurt and feel a lot of anger in me because I know no matter how positive things are it will stay the same... I really try but because of how I see life and how it treats that won't make me better.

I do tell my best friends at times to shoot me so please do!
They never understand when I tell them to hurt me when I do something wrong.. At least here you all do that.
(It is good in some cases but at times.. some people push it until I feel like dying! :bored:)

^ I've said the same thing as Lym several times, you need to change you're attitude, too much negativity man!

squinty....please don't argue! Read with an open mind!

I am not arguing... I am just saying what comes to my head so you can all know what is happening..
And I am not telling you all my "life" story because I know what will happen if I do.

I know being pessimistic makes things worse but I am working on that.
The problem is I don't have time to work on things "slowly".
It is either do it all at once or go crazy with it...

PIB, I know how much you tried to help me and believe me!
In the thread of how to study well worked!
But life is not like that... Well not for me...
I can't "draw" my way out...

Maybe if someone feels how I feel exactly then you might know why I am like this...

If you can't change, it is simply because you don't want to.

Don't want to?
You know... how hard I try...to change for the better?!
You know how much I kill myself in trying to get better?
Do you even know I am suffering here from my studies, sleep and everything that is around me but I am trying to get BETTER?!
Why do you all think I am not trying?
Why do you all think I am PESSIMISTIC?!

You know how much it sucks to be "unsuccessful" in everything I do?!
Do you know how that makes me feel?!

I keep trying but nothing works!
It is never easy changing something you believed in or had in your mind for YEARS!

If you all think I "don't want to change" then why are you all advising me?
IF you all think it is me who doesn't want to change then what is the use of helping me?

No one believes in me. Not my friends. Not my family.... NO ONE!
Nobody even knows how hard I try.
I even study more then anyone I have seen but still I get worse!
I try hard to be happy unlike the others who go with the flow and I feel worse!

Why me?
I tell myself because God wants to test me.
NOTHING WORKS!

I don't even know why I am alive....
I think being sad is better then being happy because that way I can take everything from everyone!
I have this anger in me right now that wants to kill someone...
Do you know how hard it is for me now to EVEN keep it in?

Being happy... Miss the old days... Where no one would make everything in life BIG and make things worse over simple stupid things!


I had enough of life.
I am not successful in anything.
I can't do well in my studies and I am trying to "catch up" with it but can't.
I was never good in anything to begin with and no matter how hard I try I get worse and I have proved that to myself so many times but I kept telling myself I can do it.

Why don't you all live my life then compare me with others?!

EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT!
It doesn't mean when SOMEONE does it that means EVERYONE can do it!

Do 3 things:
1- Spiritual stuff : like reading Quran, if you are a muslim, or your holy-book, praying..etc.
2- Watch david letterman.
3- Listen to Amr diab or your favourite romantic performer.

I am serious! :bored:

And I don't listen to Arabic music!
Reading the Qur'an makes someone comfortable but it can't give me "unique" powers to be happy... :bored:

That is what I think and I believe it to be true. You open a thread here asking for advice and opinions, and when we give you that, you don't like it or you are not willing to accept it with an open mind. Then don't open a thread to begin with if you are truly convinced nothing is going to work for you. What's the point right? :rolleyes: Perhaps you tried, but perhaps you tried to change in the wrong way. Seriously, if you think you are on a brink of a breakdown, see somebody professional. That is the best advice I can give you instead of listening to us who obviously do you no good according to you.

You know how much it sucks to be "unsuccessful" in everything I do?!

I think is the opposite
Is the same problem I had : am happy to be unhappy
Once you admit and live with it , then is not a problem anymore

If you all think I "don't want to change" then why are you all advising me?
IF you all think it is me who doesn't want to change then what is the use of helping me?
If you are happy then we too will be happy :bored:

That is what I think and I believe it to be true. You open a thread here asking for advice and opinions, and when we give you that, you don't like it or you are not willing to accept it with an open mind. Then don't open a thread to begin with if you are truly convinced nothing is going to work for you. What's the point right? :rolleyes: Perhaps you tried, but perhaps you tried to change in the wrong way. Seriously, if you think you are on a brink of a breakdown, see somebody professional. That is the best advice I can give you instead of listening to us who obviously do you no good according to you.

Because all of you are "assuming" I don't want to change.
You all think you know me and my life.
That is how I see it when I read the posts.

I am trying, trying and trying.... But what of the use of trying if I can't do well in it?
It is like saying "I know I can't fly but I will keep trying!"

I think I am over breakdown really...
And seeing someone won't do anything at this stage or let us say I can't because I am packed with work and it keeps increasing!
It is either kill myself on doing something or stay a failure and unhappy... UFF!

I think is the opposite
Is the same problem I had : am happy to be unhappy
Once you admit and live with it , then is not a problem anymore

If you are happy then we too will be happy :bored:

Admit what?
I am unsuccessful... I know that. I admitted it.
And now what?
See how my life turn upside down?
I don't want that..
I want it to be straight and good!

And as for me... I am no one, remember?
I am just a "member" in ES to you all.
If I leave nothing will change. ES will go on and no one will notice me and one day they will go like: "OH! Squinty disappeared!"
But in less then a day everyone will forget.. you know why?
Becuase squinty complains, hurts people and is annoying!

People don't see how much I try. They just see the bad things in me...
At least.... I am trying...
I can force myself to smile and all that if that will make you ALL better...

And if it bothers you this much then lock and delete this thread... see if I care!

Each stage of life has its problems, I dnt know why you're making such a tragedy
There are people who care and people who don't, you just must be careful
What we fail to understand is what exactly you want from life :
you want to go back as you were before but seems you cannot because according to you, the issue is UK and university and people there
There are two factors on which you can operate : you and the world you live in
Either you adapt yourself to your environment or viceversa
In both cases you must mediate, adjust situations and know that in the end you might not even succeed which doesn't mean is a failure, simply that you must try again
Life is almost never the way you want it but if you are good in adapting yourself to the situation, then you've reached a good point
To be content is not a defeat, is a great achievement
Problem is that if you don't start this process, but keep on complaining only, then nothing really will change in your life

Verily Allah doesn't change a people's condition until they change what is in themselves

Complain?
hahaha... You haven't seen me complain yet! :p
Believe... I am far worse but I try..

I just don't like the fact that I try and try but nothing works and everyone tells me to try..
I mean what is the use if I know the outcome of it?
I want to be happy... But as you said the place, university and the people here are one of the reasons but why does this stop me from being happy?
I can never get an answer anymore for any of my questions..
I lose myself so fast that I end thinking of dying and I don't know what to do...

Yes, I am forced to be here.
Trying and trying... I feel like all I do is try with no achievement to be made...
I guess it doesn't matter if I become or happy since that is not possible anymore...

Sorry... I sound really bad...
But I just type my feelings out...
And I know God is here for us always... But am I there when I have to do something good in return for all the good things that God gave me?

i've known someone like you before, but i wasn't sure whether they genuinely wanted to change or just claimed they did, or things were really getting from bad to worse every time they tried.

if it's not working no matter what you do, i think the only thing you can do at the moment is to be patient..you'll either get used to the situation you're complaining about, and things wouldn't seem as bad as you always thought they were. or they'll just solve themselves out on their own.

usually, whenever i'm on the verge of a breakdown and nothing seems to be going right no matter what i do, i usually let myself breakdown, otherwise i won't be able to function properly lol, and once i hit that point, i give it time and patience, miraculously everything falls into place on it's own. it almost feels magical. :) try that.

I went over that like more then 3 times now... Not so good really... :cute:
And when that happens... As you can see... I can't even get better...
I feel different.. But I think if you are sad and this happens you can take it but if you were happy you go crazy!

And I know God is here for us always... But am I there when I have to do something good in return for all the good things that God gave me?

That's not exactly the sense of the Quranic verse I posted :os
You know what's your problem ?
You listen to yourself only

That is not true... I listen to you.. I make it into action...
But if I did it before... I don't try again...
because I know it will hurt me again...

ok Amo, don't make the kid feel worse. :p

we tried to help you out Squinty..but looks like whatever solution we propose isn't good enough for your situation. may god be with you. :)

..... Is that so?.....
ok... thanks all...

One last thing from me: If all fails and you can't cope, then speak to your parents about it and try to get yourself on Omani soil! Not everyone is meant to be abroad, so it is not failure if you could not cope living abroad, it is just not your thing. They're many colleges in Oman that you could do something you want and your parents will understand if you tell them how bad your state is. With the way you're going- feeling miserable all the time, I doubt you will be doing well in your studies. So staying in the UK, feeling like you do, is a waste of time and money. So speak to your parents and go home. At least then you will be studying and you are not on the verge of a mental breakdown.

If you don't want to speak to your parents because of fear of disappointing them or whatever, then see someone professional. Seriously. But I urge you to open up to your parents. I can't imagine how pissed I would be if my child is going through something like this and I am not told. Instead he tries to succeed in university, but he can't, so upon that he is also wasting his time, his future and our money.

I did open up to them and told them exactly how I feel so many times.. I really did..
See I do what you all tell me or already did them.

The answer was not so good.
I am forced to be here.
So it doesn't matter anymore.
Thank you all. :)