Which do you prefer and why:

your wife to work ?

or to stay at home and be a house keeper/take care of kids?

Work. I think it's boring for her to stay at home. I find that talking about work is one of the most common conversations between couples so without that I'm not sure how much talking they'll be doing.

what about if it's not at first?...like for example, she only decides to work after a few years from the time they are married.:think:

That's really up to her, but in this day and age one income is not always enough to get by, especially if you have kids.

Which do you prefer and why:

your wife to work ?

or to stay at home and be a house keeper/take care of kids?
Sure to take care of the kids. What do you think? Do we need more irresponsible offspring roaming in the streets with no avail? Now you can't but agree with me that syrilankan and Philippine servants can't be good mothers to our kids for the following reasons:

1- Kids know and deal with them as servants.
2-Parents forbid on them (servants) to correct their kids in the proper way, so the servant is helpless if the kid is doing something wrong.
3-Servants are doing a big job cleaning and cooking, so no time for a proper nourishing of the kids.
4-Religion of the maid may not be Islam or Christianity so for sure kids will grap lots of junk from her and this will be reflected later on when they become big and dangerously relative-less.
5-Kids language will dramatically be affected by the maid's, so then again you get a deformed generation.
6-The maid could be having been sexually abused, then they reflect this on your kids.

i think that is a great answer ,haroundb...very good...:yes:

in my opinion, for me, i think it would be best to stay with the kids rather than have them practically be raised by the maid and end up calling HER "mama". It's confusing! It's really messing up the next generation and bringing the gap between kids and their mothers bigger :os. the house maid is not super woman:XD: Some things are best for the wife/mother to do and some things are best for the husband/father to do.
in other words I'd want to be there for them as much as possible and i dont really trust anyone to handle my kids except for my family or future in-laws. Especially with what i've seen..you wouldnt want to have them with the house maid..:os(i might open a thread on this later)
for me, i am ok both ways...i might decide to work or stay at home.. it's my choice in the end with whatever i choose.

Although, I'd like to help my spouse out and bring a bigger income. :yes:
i just dont know yet..i will cross that bridge when i get to it. There is no point in thinking or worry about it now when i dont know if i'll even live until tomorrow.

I'll work and my husband will stay home

My mother worked all her life and we never called or thought that our maid is our mother. It's all about how much the mother does with the time she has with her kids. I still think it's important for her to work.

It would really be something if I ended up with a husband who wanted me to be a housewife, then again I would also guarantee that I have a degree incase the marriage doesn't work out in the long-run.

I'll work and my husband will stay home

wow! what a switch of roles :XD:
-------------------------
My mother worked all her life and we never called or thought that our made is our mother. It's all about how much the mother does with the time she has with her kids. I still think it's important for her to work.

then you must have been smart children OR you were not handled that much or that close to your maid. Sometimes i see the house maid with the kids more than their own mother!:os
and true, it's about how much time the mother spends with her kids.. but how does she manage that if she has a job? what if she has a todler? how can you work knowing that your kid is in the hands of your house maid?:os
how do you manage time? i've compared the families with stay-at-home mothers and families with working mothers..the behavior and raising of the kids is totally different.
For me, if my kids are under 3 or 4 or even under the age to talk, then it will be tough to work and have them with the maid..some of these maids are rough and very violent and if the kids are too young to tell you things, then they could be getting abused and you wouldnt even know it. It depends on the maid i guess and it depends on if you get REALLY lucky to get a house maid who REALLY cares. i will be careful of who i choose for my house maid..very very careful. If i can trust her enough, then i have absolutely no problem with working :cute:

i think the maid's job should be just cooking and cleaning...but once in a while handle the kids.

such a tough decision :bored: uff!

Some maids are less influential than others, that is a fact.

then again I would also guarantee that I have a degree incase the marriage doesn't work out in the long-run.
excellent point!! life is a battle and your degree and education is your weapon.


it's good for back up

^ I think you'll change your opinion about this once you have a baby screaming bloody murder in your arms, at that point you'd thank the lord for having a maid to take over and shut it up. :P

My mom also worked and we all turned out loving her more and knowing she is our mother, not the maid, with good manners and not hooligans. She spends all the time she has after work with us playing, reading, going out. And she would call us several times during the day to check how we were doing when she is away. I'm gonna raise my children that way as well coz I know I do not want to be a housewife.

Some maids are less influential than others, that is a fact.

yes, that's what i said.. it just depends on the maid.

^ I think you'll change your opinion about this once you have a baby screaming bloody murder in your arms, at that point you'd thank the lord for having a maid to take over and shut it up. :P

and this is directed to .......?:os

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL wth!

I'll work and my husband will stay home

:love:
Will you marry me?

:XD:

for me its really up to her
if she wants to work, then its fine
...as long as she doesn't neglect her duties as a wife and a mother

^ I think you'll change your opinion about this once you have a baby screaming bloody murder in your arms, at that point you'd thank the lord for having a maid to take over and shut it up. :P
If my wife is in Austraila giving a lecture about "Global Economic Amplification In The Far East", then sure I think I will need a maid to hold the baby. But as far as my wife is still alive, she is the one for this job.

My idea is..

Mum stays with kids till they reach school age. It would be nice to work a few days a week, get out of the house and socialise without dragging a pram and huge baby bag with you.

Then once kids are at school, she can work during those hours.

It gives a woman freedom, it giver her empowerment, it gives her independance.

Any guy who would rather his wife be sitting infront of the tv all morning instead of out in the working world, meeting people, making her own money.. is a guy who does not want his wife to have freedom, empowerment and independance. He would rather she depended completely on him and thus make it that much harder for her to have a say around the house or the power to leave him.

My ***** is so with u on this one! ^

When the kids are in school theres no excuse for not being able to work because of the kids, unless you really would rather just stay at home.. Even having a maid wont be an issue if you got let out of work around the same time the kids come home! There's so many ways you can work around things that will Ensure you to be a great mother and a working one as well! ;)

Any guy who would rather his wife be sitting infront of the tv all morning instead of out in the working world, meeting people, making her own money.. is a guy who does not want his wife to have freedom, empowerment and independance. He would rather she depended completely on him and thus make it that much harder for her to have a say around the house or the power to leave him.
Again, the power to leave him...In other words "Enemies in the house"!

That is how the devil scares people, plays with their minds, the fear that it plants. I think modern life just taking out the trust from inside the house. Sometimes it is good that 'leaving him' as an option is not available. I know that women's decision to leave is always 'faulty' unless there is a big record of bad man's abuse. Now if we leave it to women to decide their stay, no woman will stay because that is their nature. They flare up and lose everything. Good we are now facing a new trend of complete equality between men and woman, regardless of their abilities and probabilities.

My ***** is so with u on this one! ^

When the kids are in school theres no excuse for not being able to work because of the kids, unless you really would rather just stay at home.. Even having a maid wont be an issue if you got let out of work around the same time the kids come home! There's so many ways you can work around things that will Ensure you to be a great mother and a working one as well! ;)

i totally agree...if the kids are in school...i am totally convinced to work!!

Now if we leave it to women to decide their stay, no woman will stay because that is their nature. They flare up and lose everything. Good we are now facing a new trend of complete equality between men and woman, regardless of their abilities and probabilities.



What do you mean they will not stay?
Can you explain more please Haroundb.

This is not up to me, as a guy, to choose. It's all up to my "future" wife. She has as much say in this, if not more, as I do.

But if I had to be asked about my own opinion, I'd say that the wife has to be with her child during the early years of their lives. Not necessarily until they start going to school, like Thalia said, but maybe until they start going to pre-school or a day care. And by the time the child is home, the mother is home too.

It has been proven that children who attend day cares and pre-school are most likely to perform better when at school and are less likely to catch infectious diseases. So, all in all, that's the best solution.

I don't believe in leaving the kids with the maid. First, because there is no guarantee that the maid will treet them right and the fact that she will be more attached to the child than the mother is. And second, for the maids sake as well. The woman is only human. It's not enough the amount of work that she does everyday, now you want her to raise YOUR baby?!

My wife will work until she becomes pregnant for 4 months.
For three years she will be a house wife then we stick the brat in nursery :D

^ Perfect plan. Exactly what I was talking about:)

My mother worked all her life and we never called or thought that our maid is our mother. It's all about how much the mother does with the time she has with her kids. I still think it's important for her to work.

same thing goes about my mother we always loved her and never looked at the maid as a mother :) and ya i agree that it's about how much she does during the time she's with the kids
--------
i think it's up to the woman but if u ask me? i prefer to work maybe until i have kids am not sure but in time i'll find out :)

Again, the power to leave him...In other words "Enemies in the house"!

That is how the devil scares people, plays with their minds, the fear that it plants. I think modern life just taking out the trust from inside the house. Sometimes it is good that 'leaving him' as an option is not available. I know that women's decision to leave is always 'faulty' unless there is a big record of bad man's abuse. Now if we leave it to women to decide their stay, no woman will stay because that is their nature. They flare up and lose everything. Good we are now facing a new trend of complete equality between men and woman, regardless of their abilities and probabilities.
I was goign to argue about what you posted. But I know there's no getting through your thick skull. So I'll just say what I feel.

You are a sad, sad chauvinist. I feel sorry for you because you will never truly understand a woman when you think that way. You're missing out on what truly makes a woman what she is, because you are blind to it.

People who thought like you used to bury their baby daughters out of shame, suffocate them and drown them when they are born. In some places they still do.

Shame on you, thinking women are deficient!

What do you mean they will not stay?
Can you explain more please Haroundb.
He means that a woman will leave her husband at the first sign of him behaving like an arsehole, apparantly because women are touchy and can't control themselves and bring the world to its end without cause enought to divorce their husbands over a silly argument. So better to keep her tied to the house with a ball and chain. Better not give her an escape route.


I smell fear.

:hyper:

It reminds me of the story of beauty and the beast.
The beast forced her to stay.. forced her to love him, he wouldn't let her go.
Unfortunately, life is not a fairytale of happy endings.

I was goign to argue about what you posted. But I know there's no getting through your thick skull. So I'll just say what I feel.

You are a sad, sad chauvinist. I feel sorry for you because you will never truly understand a woman when you think that way. You're missing out on what truly makes a woman what she is, because you are blind to it.

People who thought like you used to bury their baby daughters out of shame, suffocate them and drown them when they are born. In some places they still do.

Shame on you, thinking women are deficient!
I thank you for your kind words. I know how literate civilized you are to reply like this.

People who thought like you used to bury their baby daughters out of shame, suffocate them and drown them when they are born. In some places they still do.



Oh come on, True I don't agree with most of what Haroundb says especially about this issue, but I believe he has more compassion in him than what you made him out to be. We're all different and we shouldn't expect everyone to think like us.

I believe in the power of choice not force.

This is not up to me, as a guy, to choose. It's all up to my "future" wife. She has as much say in this, if not more, as I do.

But if I had to be asked about my own opinion, I'd say that the wife has to be with her child during the early years of their lives. Not necessarily until they start going to school, like Thalia said, but maybe until they start going to pre-school or a day care. And by the time the child is home, the mother is home too.

It has been proven that children who attend day cares and pre-school are most likely to perform better when at school and are less likely to catch infectious diseases. So, all in all, that's the best solution.

I don't believe in leaving the kids with the maid. First, because there is no guarantee that the maid will treet them right and the fact that she will be more attached to the child than the mother is. And second, for the maids sake as well. The woman is only human. It's not enough the amount of work that she does everyday, now you want her to raise YOUR baby?!
I agree with you..

Sorry I didn't think in terms of pre-school / school.. kids here start "school" at the age of 3.

I enjoyed my time with my toddlers, and when I was working 2-3 days a week, my grandmother took care of my 2 year old for me.

Oh come on, True I don't agree with most of what Haroundb says especially about this issue, but I believe he has more compassion in him than what you made him out to be. We're all different and we shouldn't expect everyone to think like us.

I believe in the power of choice not force.
Nabhan, he is saying that women shouldn't have the power to make choices because they are incapable of them.

If he said "my wife is incapable of making a choice" I would shrug and say.. 'oh well. his wife is like that'.

But to label all women as deficient gets under my skin.

What do you mean they will not stay?
Can you explain more please Haroundb. What do you think? How much time a woman will give for thinking when she knows that her husband is playing behind her back, or have already married to another woman? The first thing a woman asks for is 'divorce' in such cases.

NOW.

Let us face our facts:

1- Men sexual organ is eyes.
2- Women's sexual organ is heart.

Let us see throw life:

1- Men's passion / brain : [PPPPP / BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB]
2- Women passion / brain : [PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP / BBBBB]

NOW.

Be wise and tell me who should drive?

^ You have a disturbing way of looking at human beings

Haroundb,

Where do you get these ideas? Do you just think them up or read them somewhere or what.

Enlighten us please.

But to label all women as deficient gets under my skin.

well yes I agree his mentality is rather twisted regarding women, but who cares? that mentality will only effect his wife and maybe his daughters, nothing he says will have an impact on anyone else unless they choose to let it have an impact on them.

Nabhan, he is saying that women shouldn't have the power to make choices because they are incapable of them. I didn't say so. I said that women shouldn't go work unless of an extreme cases of poverty.

Now 'YES' women shouldn't make decisions that is concerning the lives of the 'many' who are considered to be her family. She can make decisions about her own properties. She can buy and sell spend, but not leave that house and head for the work, or for the airport to attend a summit. The house and the kids are responsibilities, and a woman should be part of that. It is NEVER her decision to work or not. If her decision is going to affect others, women are not good for that.

Now according to Thaila or Fengy or whatever, a woman can be the Chief General Army Forces. I don't know if any do exist till now. She can be the Queen, but not the Prime Minister. That is what I know for sure, there are better places for them to benefit the society.

Exact equality between men and women is also evil the same as sex-discrimination. Both leads to sorrowful problems. Men are not made like women, different brain capacities and different body capacities. God would have been able to create them both just identical with exception of sexual organs but He didn't. I think there is a good reason for that.

Haroundb,

Where do you get these ideas? Do you just think them up or read them somewhere or what.

Enlighten us please.
Read them somewhere in the walls of the cave next to me. I don't think you can read caveman's language.

Do you think it will make a difference if I told you my resources?

Read them somewhere in the walls of the cave next to me. I don't think you can read caveman's language.

Do you think it will make a difference if I told you my resources?
Caveman.. that explains it... but I'm dead curious to what your sources are..

well yes I agree his mentality is rather twisted regarding women, but who cares? that mentality will only effect his wife and maybe his daughters, nothing he says will have an impact on anyone else unless they choose to let it have an impact on them.
It is not twisted, it is different than many of those who are here. Most of them for sure are brought up with a different setup than mine. For you it maybe twisted, and for me also yours is twisted.

Now better put it in points 1- 2- 3- what is twisted about my mentality. This way I will respect what you say, rather than feeling so much scared from my statements that contradicts the ones you were brought up to.

I didn't say so. I said that women shouldn't go work unless of an extreme cases of poverty.

Now 'YES' women shouldn't make decisions that is concerning the lives of the 'many' who are considered to be her family. She can make decisions about her own properties. She can buy and sell spend, but not leave that house and head for the work, or for the airport to attend a summit. The house and the kids are responsibilities, and a woman should be part of that. It is NEVER her decision to work or not. If her decision is going to affect others, women are not good for that.

Now according to Thaila or Fengy or whatever, a woman can be the Chief General Army Forces. I don't know if any do exist till now. She can be the Queen, but not the Prime Minister. That is what I know for sure, there are better places for them to benefit the society.

Exact equality between men and women is also evil the same as sex-discrimination. Both leads to sorrowful problems. Men are not made like women, different brain capacities and different body capacities. God would have been able to create them both just identical with exception of sexual organs but He didn't. I think there is a good reason for that.
Look.

Why are you so afraid to give women a choice?

If a woman can choose to marry you, why are you so afraid to give her the choice to leave?

It doesn't make sense.

We have a saying here.. it goes something like "If you have a bird, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours."

How will you ever know that your wife WANTS to be with you if she no choice but to?

To me, this smells extremely of insecurity.

Way to go, Thalia! From what I understood from Haroundb is that women are not as capable in making decisions as men are and that they let there emotions control them.

Maybe you are thinking about the women in your life because; TRUST ME, that's not how the women in my family are. They are commando women.lol. They are the ones taking charge and making as many decisions and even more than the guys do. It scares me a bit...lol but it's true. And most of the time, they are right!

So, I am sorry but I'll have to disagree with you, Haroundb

Way to go, Thalia! From what I understood from Haroundb is that women are not as capable in making decisions as men are and that they let there emotions control them.

Maybe you are thinking about the women in your life because; TRUST ME, that's not how the women in my family are. They are commando women.lol. They are the ones taking charge and making as many decisions and even more than the guys do. It scares me a bit...lol but it's true. And most of the time, they are right!

So, I am sorry but I'll have to disagree with you, Haroundb


how can you not love this guy? :hyper:

Look.

Why are you so afraid to give women a choice?

If a woman can choose to marry you, why are you so afraid to give her the choice to leave?

It doesn't make sense.

We have a saying here.. it goes something like "If you have a bird, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours."

How will you ever know that your wife WANTS to be with you if she no choice but to?

To me, this smells extremely of insecurity.
My wife did chose me 'Yes' but not alone. Her father, and brother did investigate about me and they had their respected point of view about me. So if her father said 'No' she would have "NEVER" married me.

My wife did chose me 'Yes' but not alone. Her father, and brother did investigate about me and they had their respected point of view about me. So if her father said 'No' she would have "NEVER" married me.
You know you are digging yourself into a whole here, right? :yes:

i was at home for a while until my kids were of school age. but as soon as they were of school age...i ran off back to work.
my husband prefers me working, socialising with other people and being productive. and proud of my achievements.
my kids prefer me that was as well.
my mum worked all her life as well. and i love and respect her for it. she was on her two feet all the time and did what she could to support us and give us a good education.

My wife did chose me 'Yes' but not alone. Her father, and brother did investigate about me and they had their respected point of view about me. So if her father said 'No' she would have "NEVER" married me.

but who's choice is it in the first place? she says yes or no FIRST
and THEN her father and brother investigate so if she says no her father or brother CAN'T make her marry him
why do u give people the impression that we, arab women have no choice? :os

Dude! Haroundb! Stop talking.

Now, not only that women can't leave, they can't CHOSE??!

Duuuude.... no no no no.. STOP!

how can you not love this guy? :hyper:

o0o0o0o0w:shy:

but who's choice is it in the first place? she says yes or no FIRST
and THEN her father and brother investigate so if she says no her father or brother CAN'T make her marry him
why do u give people the impression that we, arab women have no choice? :os
even on 'our' side...
most daddies do their investigation on the guy who's gonna take their daughter.
i remember my dad quizzing the guy i was gonna marry...(what does your father do, your education, how much do you earn, what do you think of my daughter's carreer...et etc etc. apart from what music do you like and what football team you support..cos that was one very important question)
poor sod..but it was all worth it, he got me in the end.

when my daugthers get to marry, i will investigate and if i smell a dead fish, i will tell them. but they are not going to be stopped marrying a good guy just because he's a darker shade, because he had an unfortunate upbringing etc. )

I will take care of the children.. let her go to work!

I will cook for the whole family.

Investigate but the ultimate choice is for the girl

Investigate but the ultimate choice is for the girl
too right. nobody is gonna give their daughter up that easily. but it's her choice of man first and foremost and her choice in life.

but who's choice is it in the first place? she says yes or no FIRST
and THEN her father and brother investigate so if she says no her father or brother CAN'T make her marry him
why do u give people the impression that we, arab women have no choice? :os
That is what they [Non-Arabs] wants you to believe that you don't have a choice.

What I am saying is that a woman can't just decide on her own and jump to it. Women are by their nature emotional, so their decison shoud be backed-up with a brain (father or brother).

Do you think a woman who loves a man will see he downsides? Be honest and answer that question and then only you will understand what I mean.

That is what they [Non-Arabs] wants you to believe that you don't have a choice.

What I am saying is that a woman can't just decide on her own and jump to it. Women are by their nature emotional, so their decison shoud be backed-up with a brain (father or brother).

Do you think a woman who loves a man will see he downsides? Be honest and answer that question and then only you will understand what I mean.
so arab women have no brains? cos i tend to think otherwise!

Dude! Haroundb! Stop talking.

Now, not only that women can't leave, they can't CHOSE??!

Duuuude.... no no no no.. STOP!
Now we have a smart guy! And by the way, you are not funny...at all.

That is what they [Non-Arabs] wants you to believe that you don't have a choice.

What I am saying is that a woman can't just decide on her own and jump to it. Women are by their nature emotional, so their decison shoud be backed-up with a brain (father or brother).

Do you think a woman who loves a man will see he downsides? Be honest and answer that question and then only you will understand what I mean.

*choke* *sputter*


I thought my jaw dropped when I read how you think women don;t have brains.. but the last comment is a winner.

Way to go.

The next question is begging to be answered..

When a man decided to leave his wife, it is because he saw her downsides?

Probably.

OMG! That means he didn't love her! :omg:


:rolleyes:

^ Ok.. lets assume you are right, Haroundb. Now, wont it be the same deal with the guy. Are you telling me that guys dont go blind when they fall in love with a girl and don't see her flows? Or maybe we have a switch that turn off and on whenever the situation get emotional.

so arab women have no brains? cos i tend to think otherwise!
No, Arab women have better brains that is why they trust the brains of their men.

and what flaws would these be....flaws so tiny that the daughter can't even see them?

Now we have a smart guy! And by the way, you are not funny...at all.

Hummm.. the others seem to think otherwise:p

so their decison shoud be backed-up with a brain (father or brother).



I'm sorry but your implication that all women don't have enough brain to make decisions is disgusting, and absolutely insulting, because without you realizing it you are insulting our mothers, sisters and daughters by suggesting they are not capable of knowing what is best for them and I have to say to you, out of all my siblings my SISTER is the most capable, smartest and simply the best of us despite her being a WOMAN.

Sad haroundb, very sad.

I'm sorry but your implication that all women don't have enough brain to make decisions is disgusting, and absolutely insulting, because without you realizing it you are insulting our mothers, sisters and daughters by suggesting they are not capable of knowing what is best for them and I have to say to you, out of all my siblings my SISTER is the most capable, smartest and simply the best of us despite her being a WOMAN.

Sad haroundb, very sad.
FINALLY! Nabs gets 'me'.. :D

That's what I've been trying to say.. it IS disgusting and insulting.. and sad.

Rep the guy for me min. I can't rep again.

^ Ok.. lets assume you are right, Haroundb. Now, wont it be the same deal with the guy. Are you telling me that guys dont go blind when they fall in love with a girl and don't see her flows? Or maybe we have a switch that turn off and on whenever the situation get emotional.
No, I am saying that guys are more practical. Sure they fall in love and sure they go crazy, but the majority do use their brain when marrying. That is for sure. Ask anyone, who is more emotional, men or women.

FINALLY! Nabs gets 'me'.. :D

That's what I've been trying to say.. it IS disgusting and insulting.. and sad.

Rep the guy for me min. I can't rep again.
lol i did even before you posted!!

Dear Haroun,

We all know that your wife is THE MAN OF THE HOUSE & that's why you escape to ES to have ur own so called lost "dignity & pride". :hyper:

Regards,
spirit

guys let him enjoy his time in es, cause someone's waiting on him with a frying pan :rolleyes:

....

I am speechless...

I apparently I have no brain...

Omg...this is so new to me...what the hell am I doing here going onto third year in my uni studies? I should be at home following my Dad everywhere coz he has the brains.

Oh wait a sec...that's coz my Dad always taught me to be independent. He never treated me any different then he treated a boy. He taught me how read, how to look at the world, how to understand and precieve and make MY OWN DECISIONS. This whole attitude you have is just so EWW!

As I said before, you have a disturbing way of looking at human beings.

Dear Haroun,

We all know that your wife is THE MAN OF THE HOUSE & that's why you escape to ES to have ur own dignity & pride. :hyper:

Regards,
spirit

ho ho ho

http://www.linux-france.org/prj/jargonf/fig/ROFLMAO.jpg

No, I am saying that guys are more practical. Sure they fall in love and sure they go crazy, but the majority do use their brain when marrying. That is for sure. Ask anyone, who is more emotional, men or women.

Listen, man. I wont act stupid. I know what you are saying. And I partly agree that women are more emotional than men are and that's what makes them as special as they are but women should have as much right as men have in making dicisions when it comes to chosing her husbend or leaving him.

We, men and women, should take advice from our close ones when it comes to these dicisions but in the end, it should be OUR choice and not anybody else's.

No, I am saying that guys are more practical. Sure they fall in love and sure they go crazy, but the majority do use their brain when marrying. That is for sure. Ask anyone, who is more emotional, men or women.
Everyone knows they shouldn't be hasty when making big decisions.. doesn't mean that people never are, but it also doesn't mean women do that all the time and so should not be given the power to decide.

If you think women can't make decisions, I'm not sure what kind of women you have around you.. or if you even know their potential.

^ What sucks Maawali is Haroundb keeps saying our decisions are clouded by our emotions. We do not make life changing decisions without thinking them thouroughly firsT!

I'm sorry but your implication that all women don't have enough brain to make decisions is disgusting, and absolutely insulting, because without you realizing it you are insulting our mothers, sisters and daughters by suggesting they are not capable of knowing what is best for them and I have to say to you, out of all my siblings my SISTER is the most capable, smartest and simply the best of us despite her being a WOMAN.

Sad haroundb, very sad.
So if your sister decided to marry a man you won't try to see how good or bad he is and you will leave it entirely to your sister? Don't say you will try to ask about that guy because this means you don't trust your sister's choice.

I understand how you feel to say words like 'disgusting, and 'insulting. I understand how you are broughtup thought. But sadly I am different than you, my father was/is No.1 in the family he is the leader and the one who decided for everything. Mother was supporting with ideas and sure many decisions but sure everywhere there should be a leader.

Poor guy, I am sorry for you. A MAN is very important in the family that is a FACT!

^As I said, he might think this way because of the women in his life "No offence to the women in his life". I just hope they see the light.

Trying to imagine what a MAN is to haroun..

oops. wrong thread! :hyper:

My sister is a doctor and spends a lot of time at work, 24-48 hour shifts etc. She has 2 kids and they have a nanny other than the housemaids at home, but these 2 kids have their uncles, aunts, grandparents and father and everything is going on great.

I'd leave her to choose what she wants as long as I have MY mother raising them :D

I fully suppost what NaBHaN said and he is more of a MAN for saying that than you for thinking women are brainless.

Dear Haroun,

We all know that your wife is THE MAN OF THE HOUSE & that's why you escape to ES to have ur own so called lost "dignity & pride". :hyper:

Regards,
spirit

guys let him enjoy his time in es, cause someone's waiting on him with a frying pan :rolleyes:
Spirit, I think you have to mind your words, please don't get us low in here. We are in a srious discussion and luckly you the age of my kids otherwise I would have considered your post here written by a man.

Listen, man. I wont act stupid. I know what you are saying. And I partly agree that women are more emotional than men are and that's what makes them as special as they are but women should have as much right as men have in making dicisions when it comes to chosing her husbend or leaving him.

We, men and women, should take advice from our close ones when it comes to these dicisions but in the end, it should be OUR choice and not anybody else's.
Then go and ask God why did you put the power of divorce in the hands of the man not the woman. Please...

^ No need to get all violent Haroundb

^ What sucks Maawali is Haroundb keeps saying our decisions are clouded by our emotions. We do not make life changing decisions without thinking them thouroughly firsT!

You don't make life changing decisions until you talk to your dad, brother or husband about it.

^ and your mother sister wife. It works both ways.

You don't make life changing decisions until you talk to your dad, brother or husband about it.
fair enough..

but in the case of a divorce, only she knows what she is going through.

Does she need anyone's permission to decide to file for divorce? I know that father's and brothers want the best for their sisters.. but the first person I would talk to is a friend, a mother or sister, if I had one.

....that's coz my Dad always taught me to be independent. He never treated me
any different then he treated a boy. He taught me how read, how to look at the world, how to understand and precieve and make MY OWN DECISIONS. This whole attitude you have is just so EWW!

Remember, it's your dad who taught you .. not your mom :boo:

jk :p

^ and your mother sister wife. It works both ways.
and whoever you think is wise to go to advice.
but at the end of the day, whatever they will say, it's your choice. and they have no right to infringe on your future goals and happiness.

This is not up to me, as a guy, to choose. It's all up to my "future" wife. She has as much say in this, if not more, as I do.

But if I had to be asked about my own opinion, I'd say that the wife has to be with her child during the early years of their lives. Not necessarily until they start going to school, like Thalia said, but maybe until they start going to pre-school or a day care. And by the time the child is home, the mother is home too.

It has been proven that children who attend day cares and pre-school are most likely to perform better when at school and are less likely to catch infectious diseases. So, all in all, that's the best solution.

I don't believe in leaving the kids with the maid. First, because there is no guarantee that the maid will treet them right and the fact that she will be more attached to the child than the mother is. And second, for the maids sake as well. The woman is only human. It's not enough the amount of work that she does everyday, now you want her to raise YOUR baby?!

EXACTLY! i agree...well said maawali:love:

Remember, it's your dad who taught you .. not your mom :boo:

jk :p

Lol. My mom is an amazing doctor and I am so proud of her. She taught me so much as well and I love her for it. I used my father as an example to show Haorundb than not everyone thinks woman need a man in order to survive.

Oh yeah, most girls want to end up marrying a guy like their dad, that's a fact ;)

My sister is a doctor and spends a lot of time at work, 24-48 hour shifts etc. She has 2 kids and they have a nanny other than the housemaids at home, but these 2 kids have their uncles, aunts, grandparents and father and everything is going on great.

I'd leave her to choose what she wants as long as I have MY mother raising them :D
Good good, you are the man...I think manhood now is more precious than gold, now it is very difficult to find a real man.:no:

^ Thanx Angel Eyes:)

I believe in the power of choice not force.

this is exactly what i was talking about. Force could make the person go the opposite direction. I agree with you:yes:


is there anything i dont agree with you on?:bored:


:rolleyes:

I fully suppost what NaBHaN said and he is more of a MAN for saying that than you for thinking women are brainless.
Women like who pamper them, lie to them and tell them how smart and sweet they are. They will not like who says anything that contradicts their super wise minds.

Sure he is the man, for saying what he said. Good for you that you knew this.

Listen Haroundb. I am not against Islam but it's because of people like you, who make things sound so extreme, why westerns are affraid of Islam and think its an extreme religion.

Keep religion to an expert please. You are spoiling its reputation!

What do you think? How much time a woman will give for thinking when she knows that her husband is playing behind her back, or have already married to another woman? The first thing a woman asks for is 'divorce' in such cases.

NOW.

Let us face our facts:

1- Men sexual organ is eyes.
2- Women's sexual organ is heart.

Let us see throw life:

1- Men's passion / brain : [PPPPP / BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB]
2- Women passion / brain : [PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP / BBBBB]

NOW.

Be wise and tell me who should drive?

ummmm...excuse me??:os
weird:os
what does this have to do with...............ahhh....never mind..:bored:

Women like who pamper them, lie to them and tell them how smart and sweet they are. They will not like who says anything that contradicts their super wise minds.

Sure he is the man, for saying what he said. Good for you that you knew this.


You can always be honest.

"Honey, you look like a mess. Is that a moustache I see? Have you put on weight? Is that a wart? Have you..." *WACK* ...goes the frying pan. :hyper:

^ No need to get all violent Haroundb
No violence, just very cool, tell me why God made men divorce not women. Please don't consider skipping this question. Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaase answer it loudly .. If you have courage to do, or anyone else have.

Sure he is the man, for saying what he said. Good for you that you knew this.

Thanks for acknowledging that :cute:

Listen Haroundb. I am not against Islam but it's because of people like you, who make things sound so extreme, why westerns are affraid of Islam and think its an extreme religion.

Keep religion to an expert please. You are spoiling its reputation!

It is people who think they are "open" and believe in "Westernization" like you that we don't need in Islam.

You can always be honest.

"Honey, you look like a mess. Is that a moustache I see? Have you put on weight? Is that a wart? Have you..." *WACK* ...goes the frying pan. :hyper:

Lo0o0o0o0o0o0L:D

Women like who pamper them, lie to them and tell them how smart and sweet they are. They will not like who says anything that contradicts their super wise minds.

Sure he is the man, for saying what he said. Good for you that you knew this.

we are going off topic here:mmhmm:

Listen Haroundb. I am not against Islam but it's because of people like you, who make things sound so extreme, why westerns are affraid of Islam and think its an extreme religion.

Keep religion to an expert please. You are spoiling its reputation!
:yes::hyper:

You can always be honest.

"Honey, you look like a mess. Is that a moustache I see? Have you put on weight? Is that a wart? Have you..." *WACK* ...goes the frying pan.

LOOOOOOOOOOL what the?:XD:

Then go and ask God why did you put the power of divorce in the hands of the man not the woman. Please...

:hyper::hyper:

Nice one, I loved this joke :D

No violence, just very cool, tell me why God made men divorce not women. Please don't consider skipping this question. Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaase answer it loudly .. If you have courage to do, or anyone else have.

Actually, I WILL skip this question because I wont do Islam any justice by defending when I am not an expert in that feild. I am sorry but I love Islam too much to do so.

It is people who think they are "open" and believe in "Westernization" like you that we don't need in Islam.

I dont know where you came up with that idea but, a777... is this going to turn into a religios dicussion?

hello....this thread is about whether you want your wife to work or not...please dont bring religion into this...this has nothing related to religion and this is not the religion thread.
Gosh! it's a simple question!:bored:

:cute:

Listen Haroundb. I am not against Islam but it's because of people like you, who make things sound so extreme, why westerns are affraid of Islam and think its an extreme religion.

Keep religion to an expert please. You are spoiling its reputation!
OK, I will take that for an answer, I will keep religion away, I know that less you know about it.

About me and westerns are affraid of Islam, I want just to calm your heart and say, don't worry about this part, no one in this forum is planning to convert.

And second, to answer the part of "Poeple like you" let me say that people like you are those who are empty and have nothing inside them who were brought up to have no identification. Sure I can see that on your face. Please spend sometime with real men it is more precious and valuable.

^ I swear, Angel eyes. I know!!!

I'm sorry but your implication that all women don't have enough brain to make decisions is disgusting, and absolutely insulting, because without you realizing it you are insulting our mothers, sisters and daughters by suggesting they are not capable of knowing what is best for them and I have to say to you, out of all my siblings my SISTER is the most capable, smartest and simply the best of us despite her being a WOMAN.

Sad haroundb, very sad.

WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO! i couldnt have said it better myself!:hyper:

good :yes:

So if your sister decided to marry a man you won't try to see how good or bad he is and you will leave it entirely to your sister? Don't say you will try to ask about that guy because this means you don't trust your sister's choice.



My sister married an amazing man of HER OWN choice whom my parents initially disapproved of at first but she stood her ground and got her way and she's never been happier and we (including my parents) are also happy for her . I trusted my sisters choice completely because I knew that she would make the right one and I knew that she'd know what was best for HER.

I don't know what cave you live in but don't expect the whole world to live in that cave with you.

--------

Rossonero, you are being educated in the 'western' world that you condemn, your stance is pretty hypocritical to be honest with you.

we are going off topic here:mmhmm:.

Yes I can see.. this is the MONLY off topic here loooool that is cute

OK, I will take that for an answer, I will keep religion away, I know that less you know about it.

About me and westerns are affraid of Islam, I want just to calm your heart and say, don't worry about this part, no one in this forum is planning to convert.

And second, to answer the part of "Poeple like you" let me say that people like you are those who are empty and have nothing inside them who were brought up to have no identification. Sure I can see that on your face. Please spend sometime with real men it is more precious and valuable.

Ok.. Haroundb. I am empty and all... And you know that all because you met me. OW WAIT! you havn't.
Whatever, man.

This is off topic. Lets go back to subject or then please stop talking.

Rossonero, you are being educated in the 'western' world that you condemn, your stance is pretty hypocritical to be honest with you.

I'll leave HM speak on this one, as I am following his advice :)

HM Sultan Qaboos

My sister married an amazing man of HER OWN choice whom my parents initially disapproved of at first but she stood her ground and got her way and she's never been happier and we (including my parents) are also happy for her . I trusted my sisters choice completely because I knew that she would make the right one and I knew that she'd know what was best for HER.

I don't know what cave you live in but don't expect the whole world to live in that cave with you.

--------

Rossonero, you are being educated in the 'western' world that you condemn, your stance is pretty hypocritical to be honest with you.
I live in a cave, yes, but thanks God I didn't call the maid 'Mom'. That is the difference.

^ I don't know anyone who called the maid mom. Must be something someone you know experienced for you to assume that everyone else did.

My sister married an amazing man of HER OWN choice whom my parents initially disapproved of at first but she stood her ground and got her way and she's never been happier and we (including my parents) are also happy for her . I trusted my sisters choice completely because I knew that she would make the right one and I knew that she'd know what was best for HER.

I don't know what cave you live in but don't expect the whole world to live in that cave with you.

--------

Rossonero, you are being educated in the 'western' world that you condemn, your stance is pretty hypocritical to be honest with you.

mashallah 3aleiha...! your sis made the right choice..:cute:

inshallah one day i'll make the right one too:cute:

and nabhan, you are wasting your time...as they say.."nothing dies faster than a new idea in a closed mind" ..so dont even bother getting upset and trying to explain to these people.....obviously they have a set opinion and wont even listen.It goes in one ear and out the other:p
khalli walli (leave it)
*cough* a little advice i got from someone wise and dear to me:rolleyes:

It is people who think they are "open" and believe in "Westernization" like you that we don't need in Islam.

True indeed :yes:

Maawali you are a very bad muslim

Who's 'we' btw?

I would want to her to work at first because she won't have anything to do but when the kids come to our life.. I will give her the choice to do as she pleases...
After all, maybe her job is not too LONG or trying and she might find it fun so she would like to stay..
But I prefer if she can take care of the kid more then work... :)

Oh yeah, most girls want to end up marrying a guy like their dad, that's a fact ;)

and most guys want to end up marrying a woman like their mother, another fact :)

Spirit and Rossonero stop acting stupid and stay on topic! :mmhmm:

Okay, I read all the posts and this is what I have got to say to Haroundb:

Yes, I agree women are more emotional and that is why divorce is not in our hand. However, just because we are emotional does not mean we lack brains. If anything, women use their heart AND head to make a decision which is most of the time better than a man only using his head ignoring the emotional aspect of it. And to add insult to the injury, men are becoming so much like women and women like men. So yes, now men are emotional, and women are becoming practical. Men have lost it sadly, so yes, in this day and age, a woman can make a decision just as well as a man. Talk about gender revolution or something of that sort!

Now the prophet said, if a woman gets married and she has never been married, she needs the permission of her father, but if she has been divorced, she can merely inform her guardian (father) that she is getting married. If God thought that women are incapable of making decision regarding marriage, then in the case of the divorced woman, He would not allow her merely to "inform" her father, it would have been to seek his permission because "she lacks the brain to make a practical life-altering decision". Also, with a maiden (one who has not been married before), she needs the permission of her father true, but this is not because he has to "back up" her emotional based choice of the man she wants like Haroundb suggests, for if that was the case, then Islam would not have made it a vital requirement that a woman has to agree to the marriage. As you know forcing a woman into marriage is prohibited. So if we are "brainless" as you say, then forcing us into marriage by our superior male figures should be allowed, since we don't know what is best for us and they do!

Why do we have the choice to begin with? Why do we have to agree for the marriage license to be valid in the eyes of Islam? And even if the father does not give his daughter permission to wed the man she wants because of a trivial reason such as his "qabila", then she can easily get it in the court of law. Why would a man with "brain" go against his religion and get all emotional that he disowns his daughter for marrying a man who is simply not a qubaili (from a pure Arab background)? Isn't that an emotional and an unreasonable reaction from supposedly a very wise man? A father marrying his daughter off for political reasons, is that also a practical and wise decision? There are endless examples to show that fathers don't ALWAYS make the best decisions for their daughters, neither do brothers and sons. So a woman's input in her life and decisions is paramount. If she is an adult and it is her life, it should essentially be her decision, not her father or brothers. However, their advice should be welcome in addition to her mother and sisters.

Regarding this thread, I agree fully with Nabhan. However, it is her natural choice if she wants to conquer her career or not. If she chooses to work, then she better make sure that she is a "mother" too. This goes to fathers who work too. No parent should neglect their children because of work. It should never be that way because a child needs both his/her parents, not just his/her mother.

OK there is a piece of information that I was not willing to disclose but because I am honest man (MAN) I will.

I have 6 uncles and aunts 3 males and 3 females. The three females are all working women even before I was born. One is a University Proffessor the other is a Pharmacologist and the third a science teacher. The other 3 males all their wives are working women, one University Proffessor, and two teachers. So I have 6 (six) working women in my family out of 7. So You have to imagine how bad the situation is LOL :)

I hate it when things turn back on me:S

But sure women's work is not a good idea, that is what all agree on. They all (at the bottom of their hearts) feel so happy going in the morning to work, and feel so bad coming back exhausted from work. Now think of it again... There should be something wrong somewhere.

Actually, they feel good going to work, because they feel productive that they are contributing in building their country, and they also feel good coming back from work, because they feel that now they are going to be productive towards their children and husband. A woman can be productive all day long.

So please don't underestimate the status of women! ;)

I'd want my wife to work as long as she wants to. But his whole working issue may differ from a family to another. Some couples have to work to make a living, some couples choose to leave it to the male because the femlae isnt capable of working let be because of her lack of qualifications or interest. Some couples choose to leave it all to the male because they've got toddlers who need to be looked after.

In an ideal world, i'd let my wife work, unless thats going to interfere with her marraige and her duties as a wife and a mom.

It is weird how people tend to throw all the responsibilities on the wife and tell her to take care of the "child" while the man can do what he wants and his excuse will be "I work and bring money to make you all live!"

What if the wife wanted to keep on working and the husband wanted to take care of the child?!
Weird right? :p
But I think if that happens that will be REALLY hard....

Men are not as good when it comes to taking care of the child.. We dont have the same 'stamina'

Men are not as good when it comes to taking care of the child.. We dont have the same 'stamina'

What do you mean by stamina?

umm.. qwwat ta7amul..??

True indeed :yes:

Maawali you are a very bad muslim

Who's 'we' btw?

I'm sorry but i just couldnt leave this.....
spirit, forgive me but i really dont think it is your place to say who is a good muslim or a bad muslim. Only God can judge. No one is perfect..that includes you..so please deary :mmhmm: stick to the topic!!!! :cute:

thank you:hmm:

Regarding this thread, I agree fully with Nabhan. However, it is her natural choice if she wants to conquer her career or not. If she chooses to work, then she better make sure that she is a "mother" too. This goes to fathers who work too. No parent should neglect their children because of work. It should never be that way because a child needs both his/her parents, not just his/her mother.

exactly my point! THANK YOU LYM! :shy:

No violence, just very cool, tell me why God made men divorce not women. Please don't consider skipping this question. Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaase answer it loudly .. If you have courage to do, or anyone else have.

and do you think all men in the world are responsible enough or MAN ENOUGH to have the " power of devorce " ?
don't u know that some men are junkies? some drink alcohol? some abuse their wives and children? that's why we have something called khul3 خلع in islam, now a woman can devorce her husband and THANK GOD FOR THAT
and believe me most women have bigger brains than all men in this world so plz don't be like this type of men who think that a woman is an animal that should follow her husband wherever he goes bith a blindfold on her eyes coz that's just disgusting
life is about giving and taking not just leadership and being dectators

umm.. qwwat ta7amul..??

I get what you mean..
But guys can try to "take" things in another way...:rolleyes:

^yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Queenie!! :hyper:
i've never seen this side in you before....waboooooooosh! :XD:

and do you think all men in the world are responsible enough or MAN ENOUGH to have the " power of devorce " ?
don't u know that some men are junkies? some drink alcohol? some abuse their wives and children? that's why we have something called khul3 خلع in islam, now a woman can devorce her husband and THANK GOD FOR THAT
and believe me most women have bigger brains than all men in this world so plz don't be like this type of men who think that a woman is an animal that should follow her husband wherever he goes bith a blindfold on her eyes coz that's just disgusting
life is about giving and taking not just leadership and being dectators

That is what I hate... :mmhmm:
And most "men" take their wives as "PRODUCTS" which is WRONG!:angry:
Wish men would change...

from what i see..someone in here seems to think of us as ROBOTS! :mmhmm:

Haroun,

Heres some advice for you.

In a picture, not less, after all we wouldn't want to overload your superior brain with reading words and all that sort of stressfull work.

http://www.3simplerules.com/images/digging.jpg

The DB Residence

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/BRGPOD/179915~Cavemen-During-the-Ice-Age-after-a-Sketch-by-Professor-Klaatsch-Late-19th-Century-Posters.jpg

LOL@ the cave picture! :XD:

Personally speaking, i prefer my future wife to be a housewife. i know many people got married to wives with jobs and they have problems as a daily routine. however there are some husbands who are happy with wives who work so at the end it depends on the person. The wife works or not, it's all a personal choice and preference.

it's very sad when i hear some men who are looking for a wife and they say, we want a sakani tigari wife ( accomodation and financing wife ) and i go like what the heck, and i really feel so sorry for them coz all what they think is a wife who can privide them with money keeping love away and it's so clear that this marriage won't last ( cut off the money, you are out of my life ).

I would love to stay at home, and let my wife go to work.

Can you imagine, watching all the latest dvds, games, football, oh my oh my....

^^
I told my mom I will let my wife work as a joke and she was like:
"IF you can find a wife that will be good!" :p
Meaning, IF I can find a wife that can work for me while i become lazy and stay at home that will be good! :hyper:

if you stay at home, you'll have to clean, take care of the kids, do the school runs, shopping, and have a warm plate when she comes in after work. ;)

She can be the Queen, but not the Prime Minister.
The difference?

maggie thatcher was prime minister for england.

if you stay at home, you'll have to clean, take care of the kids, do the school runs, shopping, and have a warm plate when she comes in after work. ;)

I don't mind doing that! :p

working...

i dont see it going against being a good mom...

I don't mind doing that! :p
cool. many families do that nowadays. sometimes the father can take parental leave but the mother can't. then when the kids are of school age, they both go to work.
sometimes they take a year off each, shared parental leave it's called.

if you stay at home, you'll have to clean, take care of the kids, do the school runs, shopping, and have a warm plate when she comes in after work. ;)

Since she will be working, she shud afford a housemaid, a houseboy, and a driver.... so bring on those dvds, please

No, Arab women have better brains that is why they trust the brains of their men.
Excuse me? Are you implying that us women should make NO decision without consulting men? I believe there's a reason God gave us brains, don't you think?
What kind of people do you think we'd have turned out to be if we depended on our fathers/brothers/other men to help us make every decision in our lives? So now that I study abroad, away from my family, am I supposed to call my dad everytime I have to decide on something?
One of the main things my dad lectured me about when I came to study in the UK is the need to make my own decisions. This is part of being independant and making something out of myself.

So if your sister decided to marry a man you won't try to see how good or bad he is and you will leave it entirely to your sister? Don't say you will try to ask about that guy because this means you don't trust your sister's choice.
The first and last decision should be the WOMAN's, not her father's or brother's or anyone else's. Sure, the father and other family members can ask about the guy, but this does not mean they are the ones to make the decision, unless they have a strong reason against it.


Now that I've let that out, I'll come back to the question. I definitely want to work. This is why I'm in university now, studying hard to get a degree. When I have kids, I might take some time off, but then I'm going to hire a nanny or let the kids stay at my mom's while I'm at work.

^^
I think the only way family can interfere who she can marry is when the guy is not good and she is falling for his tricks...

^That's different. There's a good case here.

But why is it only the men who should make the decision? So if a guy comes to ask for my hand, shouldn't my mother give me her opinion, too?

^^
I think the only way family can interfere who she can marry is when the guy is not good and she is falling for his tricks...
no family wants their daughter/son marrying a no-gooder.
haha reminds me of when i took my husband to be home. my father, who was insanely jealous of him taking me away tried to find every single fault.
of course, i knew he was a good man from a good family (which wasn't essential, but a bonus, because he had good values from childhood)...
turned out my dad loves him to bits. my mother dotes on him..and if we ever argue in front of mum..guess what..she tells me to shut up and sides with him. grrr. but i love it. they are close and he loves my mum to bits.

^That's different. There's a good case here.

But why is it only the men who should make the decision? So if a guy comes to ask for my hand, shouldn't my mother give me her opinion, too?
No the girl has a BIG part in this... But at times parents have the upper hand as well...:cute:

no family wants their daughter/son marrying a no-gooder.
haha reminds me of when i took my husband to be home. my father, who was insanely jealous of him taking me away tried to find every single fault.
of course, i knew he was a good man from a good family (which wasn't essential, but a bonus, because he had good values from childhood)...
turned out my dad loves him to bits. my mother dotes on him..and if we ever argue in front of mum..guess what..she tells me to shut up and sides with him. grrr. but i love it. they are close and he loves my mum to bits.
Someone is jealous! :p
It is good you have a good husband!;)

so what are the common 'no-no's' for parents to refuse a their daughter's hand in marriage to a guy?

over here, something like a criminal record, having no job would raise eyebrows quite highly in a family....but there could be other things that parents don't like.

^My uncle once stopped my cousin (female) from marrying a guy just because his last name was Buluchi. Ever since I knew that, I never looked at my uncle the same way. That was clear discrimination and he had no right to do so.

My cousin didn't marry him because she didn't want to upset her father. She lives at her father's house, of course, and she is a working woman.

So, I think this is a huge reason why fathers don't allow their girls to marry.

^wooooooooooooooow! :os that's wrong! haram actually! :(

I have NO say in this thread, full of conspiracies!! i just hope I marry a faithful decent traditional wife who won't fight wid relatives etc and would really care bout me n kids. I wouldn't mind working, but when kids come, let her be at home, I want them raised like I was raised, well sorta, but momma should be wid da kids!

^very good answer and straight to the point:yes:

^wooooooooooooooow! :os that's wrong! haram actually! :(

I knoow. What can I do?! Ow well... I hope they work it out because I know I cant do anything. It's none of my business.

I'd love to stay at home, enjoy my sleep and never work underpressure any more .. but I want a certain life style, and that will not be achieved with my husband's income alone.
Maybe when he wins 1000,000 rials .. and I get to open my own small little business, I will decide to resign from work!!

^dont forgive to give me 3eidia:rolleyes:

i just hope I marry a faithful decent traditional wife who won't fight wid relatives etc and would really care bout me n kids.


Good luck with that:hyper:

there are a lot of those, riv......you just need to be careful

there are a lot of those, riv......you just need to be careful

Yes, there are, I have read about them, in story books

I think it will be decided by the lady. So what I think or any other an thinks means nothing.

"Men can't know what a woman is thinking" - I believe that and just pray to Allah Almighty to get a decent faithful wife! Ameen!

I think it will be decided by the lady. So what I think or any other an thinks means nothing.
Actually, you'd be surprised at the number of husbands who DO make that decision for their wives, and it would be what the women say that would mean nothing to them.

markov....where can i get me one of these books?:rolleyes:

I Would like her to Work, and the first place I’m thinking about is the HOUSE:angel:


Seriously if the work is appropriate and she is happy with, she has the right to work.