It's not about fathers only, but mostly it's the father that can't take it. It's a not an easy thing on parents, but such thing happen.

A teenage daughter (15-19) confronts her parents that she is pregnant.

What do you think the parents should do about it?

Would it be different if a son comes up to his parents & tell them that he is expecting a child from a girl?

What would U do if you faced such thing with your daughter?

There would be unacceptance from the society & it will look down on your family; but as a parent would you abandon her when she most needs you?


******

The main concentration here is the daughter, cause as a father (that is IF I would become one) I would really go crazy & hunt the guy down:hyper:

i would expect the guy to do the right thing and marry her
if that didn't happen
god only knows what i might do
and if my son tells me that he impregnated some girl, he WILL marry her
i don't like double standards
-_-

I dunno what I would do as a parent. It's just such a taboo to be pregnant young in our relegion and society without being married :os Just thinking about it gives me the tummy flips. I guess I would be so amazingly dissapointed with myself firstly for not raising my daughter/son properly and secondly be dissapointed with them for not being able to make the right choice even though they know what it is.

Ahh what to do...I definetly wont abandon them and I guess marriage is a solution, but I have no idea what I would do to protect them from society looking down on them for a mistake (coz that's my main concern) :os

Its sometimes bout how the child was raised in the family...but honestly if i had a daughter id be like a best friend to her that way she wudnt want to think of doin anythin behind my bak and when she wants to do somethin she'd ask for my opinion...and i think same wud go wit the son i think the father wud want to be like a bestfriend wit his baby boi and tell him everythin that happens to him...but things happen sometimes and ppl just gotta accept it...i honestly wud get really mad if my daughter did such a thing and same goes wit my son and ask them wat they want to do first and if wat they say is goin to work then it'll happen hopefully, but i wudnt abandon them i think if any parent did that they're just heartless...

It's scary.

Spirit u dun gottah worry just yet... Ur baby girl is still young! ;) lool


I think Thats whyyy we should marry them off when their little! :p ( IM BEYOND KIDDING! )


But anyways.. I'll do everything and anything I could do.. But Abandon would never be it.. Girl or Guy.. They will take responsibility for their action and do wut they gottah do to keep living.. But hopefuly something like that would never occur.. Thats why the importance of communication between the parents and kids should be Exaggerated.. Without that, trust me you'd be screwed with the Generations to come! ;p

Isn't it forbidden to marry a woman you committed adultery with?

Isn't it forbidden to marry a woman you committed adultery with?

It is in Islam

I figured. Well then I'm surprised to see some members mention 'Marriage' as a solution.

I personally have no respect for Muslims who have sex before marriage, It's clearly against our principals, and I would honestly rather die than see any of my children commit adultery. I will make sure I make that clear to them so that they think 1 million times before they do something as stupid as that and if they do something like that then they're on their own.

I was talking to this lady the other day, and she was saying, oh you know when it comes to kids, girls mischiefs are easier to handle than boys'. I said why? She said boys could do drugs, then become addicted. Or they could become gays, where there is no cure. But with girls, its easy. I said what do you mean? She said, with girls, if they get into mischief, the worst that could happen is getting pregnant, and you know, its not that hard to abort. I went: WHAT, WHAT WHAAAAAT?

Wow...I didn't know it was forbidden to marry the person you commit adultry with! So what's the solution then?

but as a parent would you abandon her when she most needs you?

if they do something like that then they're on their own.


I knew that someone would say that, but is that a right decision?

Pen, there is another thread about that somewhere. Actually it depends on the sect. But we all know it happens anyway, because most families would prefer a quick marriage to the "shame" of having the neighbours know what happened. I've even heard of families forcing a girl to marry a guy who's raped her...:Sick:

Isn't it forbidden to marry a woman you committed adultery with?

It depends on the sect, Sunnah says if the two truly repented they could get married to each other, while Ibadhis say its forbidden for them to get married.

What would I do Spirit? the first reaction is get my husband's "9out" and hit her until I think of something else to do!

Seriously .. just thinking that my daughter went out with a guy would enrage me .. let alone her being pregnant!!
I dont know what I do next, maybe I would dishone her .. maybe I will send her to someone else far away from muscat where she will only be in a far to take care of cows and sheeps .. I dont know but I will definatly will do something about it ..

you will never know what to do until it happens

What would I do Spirit? the first reaction is get my husband's "9out" and hit her until I think of something else to do!

Seriously .. just thinking that my daughter went out with a guy would enrage me .. let alone her being pregnant!!
I dont know what I do next, maybe I would dishone her .. maybe I will send her to someone else far away from muscat where she will only be in a far to take care of cows and sheeps .. I dont know but I will definatly will do something about it ..

OMG! Okay I do agree that what the girl did would be so bad but disowning your own kid for a mistake she did is too much!

I dont know really .. its a position I cant put my self in it ..

1- sit..
2- slap her :bored:
3- talk to her to know who's the guy
4- kill the guy
5- go to the hospital
6- and then i don't know..

Parents should blame themselves at the first place, their kid won't do this unless they're really careless..
I can't put myself in such situation though.

This happened to my long lost high school friend ..... and look what happened to her... the horror.

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2008/01/29/scots-cops-join-pakistan-probe-over-dead-bride-86908-20301768/

I knew her when i was 12-15yrs...then we drifter apart. havent seen her in years.. but its a real shame wat has happened to her. From what i have heard from her best friends... she didnt get any virus....family forced her to abort.. but hey its pakistan we are talking about ... you wont get any justice there. I just cant believe she went to pakistan... and she mysteriously died... because of food poisening....


This is probably the most extreme case of teenage pregnancy and parent confronting....
i am still in shock.

She should have just done a runner with her man...

Oh yeah, i would blame the parents for what happened to her... upbringing and not letting her marry who she liked. Girl and Boy got distraught and did a "bollywood" stunt thinking they will live happily ever after... but this is real life.

And what do you think the society thinks now? its a bigger disgrace and shock.

And who cares what societies thinks anyway, parents need to focus on their relationship with their kids more than anything else.

^^
Oh! Am sorry to hear about your friend!
It's really sad when teenagers ruin their lives this way! She was better talking out to her parents..But what can I say now! May she rest in peace anyhow.

i think parents should look after their daughters AND sons to avoide being put in such case

you will never know what to do until it happens

+1

and believe that's the case with all of u...

Sallam,

This is very common now days within our young generation either in the Muslim society or else where. But its worse in the Muslim society for it is well known that committing adultery is forbidden and they are many consequences for such action, such as in health status, mentally and religiously – faith.

For a son or daughter to confront their parents with either impregnating or being pregnant, is never easy. Many will hide it and get rid of it then move on with their lives as if nothing had happened.

Those who confront their parents somehow are brave, but their braveness is with no value. Especially if they were raised according to the Islamic rules either by their parents or by attending schools that teaches Islamic studies.

No one would know what to do, unless you are faced with the situation and having to go through every moments of it.

It is worse coming from a girl rather than a boy but they should be treated equally for Allah (SWT) will punish them both equally and not favouring any one over another.

Despite the variation in how it is looked at the issue of marrying the person you committed adultery, they all agree that the whole thing is not acceptable. By the way marrying the person or the girl, does not legalise that the child born is entitled to your WILL. Infact the child born in this way does not inherit any thing from the biological father, and should not be given the name too. So parent force the marriage to take place, for the sake of covering up their names in Dunia and in front of the society but it does not erase the reality that the child was created out of the marriage frame, and this is entitles on a lot of disadvantages.

Its like you go into a shop you break a glass vase and then you buy it. Its already broken and doesn’t have much use of it, but you are still keeping it for the sake of covering up your mistake by breaking it at the start!

Such thing is so hurting to any parents, even the parent did not raise their child well, and they will still get hurt for its shaming them.

We can not blame this on parents, because there are many parents out there who worked hard to raise their kids decently and teach them every thing they can, and even force to follow Islamic teachings to its every single step; but you will still witness the same kids doing the wrong thing and come back with a list of wrong doings, you don’t know where to start or end. So for every one who had reaching the age of growing up/puberty, they are responsible of their action in the eyes of Quran, especially those who had received the education in this regards, and for those who are ignorant and never received education then they have their own excuse, but they can never deny in before Allah (SWT) of not knowing or not acknowledged.

You can blame the parents if they have neglected their child and didn’t teach them any thing, or were that kind of the extreme open mind group, that every thing to them is fine and ok even if it was wrong.

A parent in this situation is torn between two fires, fires of facing the public and family and the fire of facing their own daughter or son bringing some innocent child into this world but in the wring way. They end up blaming themselves for the action of their child, which is not fair.

We all do mistakes, because none of us is perfect, but then the level of the type of mistakes varies, and the solution found for these mistakes are the key to every thing(only if you can find one!).

Sometimes to marry in a young age gives it advantages in many ways, and sometimes can turn to be the worst thing happened to a person.

We always look into those little girls who got pregnant or those boy who impregnating other girls. But we never look into women who are mature enough to know the right and wrong but yet they get to the same situation as the young ones!

We do have many women who are actually divorce, widow, unmarried, or even married but got pregnant by another man, but they don’t get the same look as the young ones when they are pregnant?!

I agree with this statement:

It is worse coming from a girl rather than a boy but they should be treated equally for Allah (SWT) will punish them both equally and not favouring any one over another.

When a girl, to me teenagers are still girls, they are immature when it comes to sex and trust me on this they are. The boys they deal with in that age range are just as immature and the blame should not be placed only with the girl because well....she isn't the Virgin Mary and she became pregnant with help unless she went to the sperm bank...the point is it always seems the girl gets the short end of the stick in these cases because she is the one who carries the baby and the boy gets off scott free in a lot of cases. Just sad.

I'd kill da Biyaatch :D

if it happened to me, i'd be livid, but then i'll calm down and give my daughter the best medical treatment and access to the best gynaes.
i don't think i'll allow a deadbeat boy to marry my daughter, a loser husband will make a loser father.
i'll do my best to help her raise the child while continuing with her studies.
yes it is possible, i've seen other people do it.
and honour and 'kill him or kill her' has nothing to do with love. she made a mistake, now she has to work harder to make up for it.
the baby will not have to suffer.

I have a 19 year old and glad to say she has wonderful morals and knows what can happen when dealing with the hormones of that age group. Her studies come first and she is going to make something of herself. As a single parent she has seen me struggle in many ways so that she and I can live a decent life and she knows how hard it would be to raise a kid. If she were to ever get into that situation I am lucky enough to understand the situation and know where to steer her for guidance. Children are a blessing not a curse. It is how we raise them and by example that they can become successful later on in their own lives. Coming full circle.

I'd kill da Biyaatch :D

I was gonna say the same thing but i was tryin to be serious bout it :p :hyper:

That is why girls should be raised on : وقرن في بيوتكن.

As for my girls, they will only be allowed to leave the house freely when they are married. By then, I won't really be worried about them ending up pregnant.

^So you're not going to let your girls go out :S? What happened to trust?

Besides, how come guys can go out freely? Remember, they can make any girl out there pregnant!

^ Muggle, some people are extremes. Better safe than sorry, but I don't follow that .. Instead, I would have trust and faith in my kids :)

It's not the be safe than sorry attitude. It's Islamic. Girls should go out only when necessary. But roaming around with friends in cafes every weekend, that does not teach her responsibility.

And what have we gained from this 'freedom' except seeing our girls losing their shame, doing things that make you wish you could go up to them, grab them and shake them out of it.

Better go back to our religion, that will give us more respect for ourselves, and make us more effective people in our society.

Besides, how come guys can go out freely? Remember, they can make any girl out there pregnant!
^^

What if a mother had a son who made another girl pregnant? You can't just put the blame on the girl 'cause she has the proof! The guy was involved, too.

Once in school, my colleague fainted because her student was found to be pregnant. I was thinking if this happened to her best student what whould would happen to her if it was someone of her relatives.

Naivety, of both boys and girls, is dangerous so, both genders have to look around and learn from other people's mistakes. And, parents have to be aware of their children's actions and behaviors. However, girls who are above 17 of age and get trapped in such unkind situation are just plain stupid and they have some solid bricks instead of brains in their heads. Because at such age she should be aware of what such a thing could do for her and her family.

Well that even applies for them if they go out with some guys, behaind the back of their families, covered in term of "love".

I say the blame goes 100% on the parents. I wouldn't want them to lock their kids in the house but to teach them to respect them selves and make them feel valuable. Therefor, the kids wont dissent to that level of cheapness!

This is not an opinion, it is a fact. Don't ask me how I know that!

If a son or daughter was pregnant, they should be sent for the Rajm. That is what they deserve.

^
Mawali:

Not a fact.

Umkhalid: You would never do such thing to your child

^ Your opinion

She would never do that to her child

I know Umkhalid in person & do not think she would do that. That's just some muslim parroting, there is no way a mother would do such thing to her child.

I will! I will! I WILL! ... Grrr.

It's not the be safe than sorry attitude. It's Islamic. Girls should go out only when necessary. But roaming around with friends in cafes every weekend, that does not teach her responsibility.

And what have we gained from this 'freedom' except seeing our girls losing their shame, doing things that make you wish you could go up to them, grab them and shake them out of it.

Better go back to our religion, that will give us more respect for ourselves, and make us more effective people in our society.

This means, when you invite me to your house (if I wasnt married) I shouldnt go, because hey I dont know who is your brother or father and I should be careful.

Um Khalid, dont take things litterarly otherwise you will not be able to live islamicly and you would have your kids having pressure from all around them. Education is most important thing, let them know the consequences in this world and hereafter. Then pray that they would be protect by Allah's mercy.

If a son or daughter was pregnant, they should be sent for the Rajm. That is what they deserve.
what's the rajm?

Rajm is when you throw stones to somebody untill they die.

Rajm is when you throw stones to somebody untill they die.
oh!!
umkhalid. listen.
if your daughter (god forbid) gets pregnant before her time, put her on a plane and send her to me.
i have a spare room and will give her the best medical facilities, and when the baby comes it'll have lots of love and cuddles.
forget rajm. a plane ticket to malta would be easier. you tell people that she's going abroad to study and your reputation will stay intact.

^ That's something I would do, my heart would'nt allow me to allow my daughter's death before her time! Everyone makes mistakes.

^ That's something I would do, my heart would'nt allow me to allow my daughter's death before her time! Everyone makes mistakes.
i wouldn't worry about repuatation.
my grandma was a woman with no education, but she was really really wise.

she used to say 'do not judge other people's children, their doings or their misfortunes, one day they could happen to you, your chidren and your children's children'.

anybody can stick their judgement up their backside. if it happens to my kid, she'll get full support. in the meantime, i'll hope and teach her so it will never happen. there are more important things in life. everybody makes mistakes. my daughter will pay for her mistake by working extra hard for the baby...and studying extra hard to guarantee a future for both of them. the baby shouldn't be a victim.

UmKhalid you would stone your own daughter to death?!

You know, some kids actually turn bad because there are so many restrictions on them coming from home.

That is why girls should be raised on : وقرن في بيوتكن.

As for my girls, they will only be allowed to leave the house freely when they are married. By then, I won't really be worried about them ending up pregnant.
They'll probably end up rebelling and sneaking out behind your back, lying to you about it, etc. That's what normally happens when you're too strict.

^ And who said I'll MAKE them stay home? A good mother will raise it in her daughters, they'll choose to stay home over going out. It's not like it's impossible to raise daughters on that.

I do not fear losing reputation or anything like that. But that is the true sentence to such acts, she did it, she should face the consequences, or is life just a game?
Of course we must wait for the child to be delivered, but later, my dear, your life will be taken.

"And if even Fatima the daughter of Mohammed stole, I would cut her hand."

^ And who said I'll MAKE them stay home? A good mother will raise it in her daughters, they'll choose to stay home over going out. It's not like it's impossible to raise daughters on that.

I do not fear losing reputation or anything like that. But that is the true sentence to such acts, she did it, she should face the consequences, or is life just a game?
Of course we must wait for the child to be delivered, but later, my dear, your life will be taken.
Not many teenagers will choose to stay at home, especially when all their friends are going out and having a good time. I am not saying you should give them total freedom, but there is a balance. Keeping them at home all the time is not the solution.

If, as you say, you are a "good" mother, and you raise them properly, then you should be confident enough in their upbringing to let them go out with their friends for an hour or two without expecting them to abuse your trust and do something wrong.

Good luck anyway.

^ And who said I'll MAKE them stay home? A good mother will raise it in her daughters, they'll choose to stay home over going out. It's not like it's impossible to raise daughters on that.

I do not fear losing reputation or anything like that. But that is the true sentence to such acts, she did it, she should face the consequences, or is life just a game?
Of course we must wait for the child to be delivered, but later, my dear, your life will be taken.
you have no right over their bodies. you cannot mutilate their bodies or end their lives, whatever mistake they'll do. it's a baby for God's sake, not a heroin needle!

UmKhaild, how do you she's not going to repent?

balancing is the best solutions..because "soo much" freedom or putting chains to your children will absouletly cause more problems..teenagers wana feel that their some trust formtheir parents and that is something that can stop them from doing those stuff..guilt of betraying their parents trust

That's true Libby.

Muggle,

Repenting is for herself, and who wouldn't repent when they know they are going to die?
A mother should not show her daughter she hates her, she should treat her well, but tell her that this is the way she will be forgiven. God made these rulings as a mercy to those who commits sins like this and murder. If you kill someone, you get killed, that is your worldly punishment, so when you meet God, you will be forgiven Insha'Allah. Same thing.

also a son/daughter should say 'i will not get pregnant before marriage because it's bad for me' not 'i won't get pregnant in fear of my parent's wrath and disappointment'. that's why upbringing is important. you teach them that giving yourself away too easily can be harming to your mind and body. teach them to have pride in their bodies, and their private bodies are theirs to treasure, our bodies are gifts from god, we should treat them with respect.

^ And who said I'll MAKE them stay home? A good mother will raise it in her daughters, they'll choose to stay home over going out. It's not like it's impossible to raise daughters on that.

Today is too easy to jump on you :D
For how much hard you try, there is always a possibility that your daughter will come out with something unpredictable on which you cannot be held in account
It won't be your fault, is life
My mother for example, who is very religious, still asking me what mistake she did that I changed religion
She did nothing wrong, she raised me with high moral principles and with the best education And at a certain point of my life, I decided that I needed something more to complete myself
I see you refreshed after Umra and am happy for you, but be careful that isolation or literalist positions sometimes can bring you more far from religion than you can imagine

Well if we're talking about the true upbringing, no way would I let their upbringing be like that. But here, I'm only imagining. And I'm not enjoying it. Horrible thing to imagine. But yeah, I'm not leaving the stoning part.

That is a scary thought amo. :(


Don't you just love Saudis' strictness :p - Don't worry, I'm just having a bit of fun acting all strict and scary.

also....imagine if a daughter gets pregnant.
i'm gonna put this in first person terms, imagining myself as that daughter.
my parents are fantastic parents, but they have rigid morals and mum keeps telling me she'll have me stoned if i ever got pregnant.
things happened, stuff with a guy i fell in love with, and i missed a period.
there is no way on this earth i'm gonna go back to my mum. i think i'll run away, or throw myself off a bridge....better dead than losing my mother's love and my own life brutally.
shall i go for a back street abortion? with all the risks? shall i raid the medicine chests and swallow everything that's in there?
----
back to being myself...
i'd imagine such thoughts would go in a girl's head knowing that wrath not support is going to greet her.

While bringing her up, I'll say things like: "Oh, those poor girls who commit that sin. They get stoned." "Oh those poor girls, they lose their mother's trust."

It will work! She's think 1000 times before even having the thought crossing her mind.

love makes those thoughts vanish ^

What if she actually does get pregnant as a result of rebelling against her mother? How would that make you feel?

We're not living in the West. Our girls are innocent, the extreme case of rebelling would be not studying from a major exam.

LOL............UmK!!!

Innocence?? Are you fooling yourself?

Why am I kidding myself?

We're not living in the West. Our girls are innocent, the extreme case of rebelling would be not studying from a major exam.

You sure you living in Mct :D

No, not all girls are innocent. I've heard so many shocking stories that made realize what kind of world we're living in nowadays.

You sure you living in Mct :D

It's not Muscat girls only btw ;)

I'm thanking God I don't know what you guys are talking about. :no:

that would be the hardest thing to ever tell my dad that im pregnant...the only time that i will tell my dad that will be when im married :P

But you should! It's like you're living in a fairty tale world, when it's not like that at all. You should know about these stories to be prepared for when you have to raise up your kids.

I see this being a normal issue in 20 years time, the world is coming to an end. Compare 20 years before, to this moment. Quite a difference eh? Sad. :no:

I'm thanking God I don't know what you guys are talking about. :no:

Sorry to tease you again
But given that your education will be perfect, don't you think your daughters can go out alone in a coffee shop with other female friends or meet with their school male friends on the beach or at the cinema without problems ?

It's not Muscat girls only btw ;)
Of course
We western women date a man every night
Didn't you know
Check this story (http://muscatconfidential.blogspot.com/2008/02/sexual-adventures-in-oman.html)you'll be surprised :o

It's really sad reading all this. I don't believe it's gotten THAT bad, our girls, no matter how they end up, always have that goodness in their heart that makes them wake up and get their life straight. I've seen examples, and it's really touching how they changed when no one even imagined this girl would find the right path. (Including me, which makes me hate myself for judging.)

So I don't believe our girls got to that level, no way.

Amo,

Haha, no way. With girls, I might be ok with it, knowing the girls are good. But guys? ... Death will meet her once she is back.

Those girls are just victim of a wrong systems, that's all

Of course we must wait for the child to be delivered, but later, my dear, your life will be taken.

The Islamic sentence for a teenager (unmarried) boy/girl who commit zinna is 100 lashes not rajem umkhalid!

Imagine the parents reaction after finding out xD Ow God!
SCAAARY!
if i was the father, i would hit the hell outta that gurl & show her, whos ur daddy ;)

Imagine the parents reaction after finding out xD Ow God!
SCAAARY!
if i was the father, i would hit the hell outta that gurl & show her, whos ur daddy ;)
hit her when pregnant??????? or if she got caught having sex?

i will try all ma best to teach ma kids that to do this things are forbidden in our society and in our religion but if one of ma kids did this thing lord knw what i'll gna do to him\her:no:

hit her when pregnant??????? or if she got caught having sex?

i dnt think she will confess 2 her dad after her tummy gets bigger and bigger, so yeah i will hit her with 5ayzarana :yell:
:hyper:

i dnt think she will confess 2 her dad after her tummy gets bigger and bigger, so yeah i will hit her with 5ayzarana :yell:
:hyper:

lool shoshi but even if she did something wrong u shouldnt hit her cuz the baby in her tummy is her kid n its 7aram to kill the baby :bored: its not his fulet to be in the life just send her to any country for 9 month :rolleyes: then let her come back

Parents should blame themselves at the first place, their kid won't do this unless they're really careless..
I can't put myself in such situation though.

I agree but we can't blame always the family..

believe me i heard about girls who their family were always there for them and they did everything to make their daughters gettng whats really life about


BUT there is those kinda girls who are stupid *ma MET9ALBAT*
and they dont have feelings they care about nothing but themselves and needs!

I can't imagine it , i got chills just thinking of it

but first thought in my mind is killing ! :/ really how would she dare!

The Islamic sentence for a teenager (unmarried) boy/girl who commit zinna is 100 lashes not rajem umkhalid!

yeah ,and whos married and did it they get rajem till death. right?

Interesting comments. I presume a lot of you are studying in the UK at university. Is it really the case that, even if you don't get married until into your late 20s, that staying a virgin is the usual course? It must be very very difficult.

Age has nothing to do with it. As long as you're unmarried, you're expected to be a virgin. Honestly I don't see why it's that big of an issue. Once you get used to a certain way of living and you set limits and boundaries, you don't even have to consciously avoid having sex. You're just never in a situation where it is even an option to sleep with someone.

Yeah, I can understand that. It still must feel a part of you is being unfulfilled though. In that respect I think age is an issue. Its OK maybe when you're 15 or 16, but once you're all grown up and mid 20s I'd think very frustrating!

But what about those not so strong? Does Oman have any sex education in schools? Can a single Omani woman get contraception, or would that be illegal?

The Islamic sentence for a teenager (unmarried) boy/girl who commit zinna is 100 lashes not rajem umkhalid!

i was thinking the same when i read Umkhalid's post :XD:


i think if you raised your kids well, you won't have to worry about it.

Sometimes a parent raises their child well, but outside influence is too strong for the child to resist and they end up doing the wrong thing, not because they were not raised right, but because they happen to have a weak personality or are easily influenced...which is something I believe you could be born with.

I will support my child is she gets pregnant.I will not disown her. That does not mean to say that I will not reprimand her and punish her, and if she chooses to want to be lashed a 100 times, then that is better for her..but I will certainly not report her to the authority since it is not my place. I will advise her to repent and seek God, but I will not cut her out of my life.. I mean what is the fault of the illegitimate child? I will love him or her like I should since the baby is innocent and try to provide the best life possible for him/her. Dealing with my adulteress daughter will be a different matter...but she will still be my daughter at the end of the day, and I will still love her no matter what.

May God protect us from such tragedies :inno:

Salam,

It is intresting to read members reply about this issue.

I would like to add something to the whole scenario.

What if:

The girl comes to her parents and says that she is pregnant BUT she got married secretively and that the pregnancy is legal within the frame of marriage.

Or

The guy comes to his parents and tells them that he got married secretively and that he is expecting his first born from a lady the family never knew before.

What will you really do in this case?

If it was my daughter, I would send her out of the country for abortion, and keep her there in a boarding school. I don't know how her father is going to react, but I hope he's going to support me.

Oh you're right. Mm, ok, 100 lashes will do.

Salam,

It is intresting to read members reply about this issue.

I would like to add something to the whole scenario.

What if:

The girl comes to her parents and says that she is pregnant BUT she got married secretively and that the pregnancy is legal within the frame of marriage.

Or

The guy comes to his parents and tells them that he got married secretively and that he is expecting his first born from a lady the family never knew before.

What will you really do in this case?

Check if their marriage is in fact legal and recognized. Once I am satisfied that she did get married, I will say mabrook and do nothing! Obviously I will be very upset and hurt and experience all the negative emotions a woman can feel, but what can I do? I am certainly not going to disown her...or send her away. I never know, this might be a blessing in her life and consequently, mine.

Its nice to see the tremendous power of a few words and a piece of paper. It seems in this case it would
a) save the life of an unborn child and the trauma of a forced abortion
b) save a daughter from being given 100 lashes by her own mother
[and luckily Um Khalid checked the rules, or the daughter would've been stoned to death! oops!]

Of course, even easier if she'd had one of the famous Iranian 1 week marriages. Get married, enjoy it for a week, then divorce. That way all the boxes have been ticked eh?

Not by her own mother. The mother wouldn't stand it.