Salaam'alaikum everyone,

I want mature answers only no childish junk.

Okay, so I'm now in Florida where I will be married in about 17 days inshallah. My husband to be is Palestinian, twenty-six,knows his Islam, prays (alhamdulillaah)divorced, and has two little boys back home who are five and four years old. I have never been in a situation like this before. I am so thankful to Allah subhana wa tala that out of all women in the world Fadi, my fiancee, chose me to be his wife, mother of his children,and to care for his two little boys who masha'allah are so cute. I fell in love with the day I saw their pictures. It's the most weirdest feeling in the world right now. I feel everything coming in to place. I can now see us getting married and having a family soon which Fadi said he wants to try after ramadan inshallah. I'm very nervous about being a step-mom. I would ask my own mother but I want to get more of an Islamic point of view. I want to know what to expect,what not to do, how to get the children to trust me, and not to fight with the ex wife (who is hated by the whole family including the children).

Here's a picture of my future step sons inshallah
Saleh and Habib ( don't forget to say masha'allah)
http://i8.tinypic.com/7wep1lv.png

What happened to the Omani guy ?

It wasn't naseeb. Allah is the best of all planners. If this man is my naseeb, I will not argue.

Interesting...

First Mabrook :D

Well i dont knwo anything about step kids, but i sure hope your making a good/wose choice, I think this is too fast though.. didnt u just come out of an abusive relationship?

Yeah, I did but I'm not going to let that control my life. I've had enough of the stupid bs drama.

^ aah okay, I hope the best in your new life and happy marriage :D

Inshalah everything goes well for your step kids(mashallah :D) and new husband :D

Well for starters, your husbands ex-wife wont recieve you with open arms. I sure dont think so lol
You may have to take some kick boxing classes. It may come in handy.
Other than that, your good to go!
Congratulations!

You should treat Saleh and Habib almost like your own sons.

I say, don't directly interfere between their mother and their father. If you want to have your "say", then do it privately between your husband and yourself. Because if you interfere openly, then their mother will try to turn them against you and will have more reason to do so. Foremost, she is their mother, so don't try to take her place or control their lives unless you're given the green light to do so.

As Nico said, treat them like your children. That means nicely and discipline them correctly. Shower them with love and affection. They're kids, so it should not be too hard to win them over especially that you said they don't really like their mother. As long as they're living under your roof, I guess you've the authority to discipline them. Just make sure your husband approves of your disciplining methods. You wouldn't want to treat his children in a manner he does not approve of, only to cause a conflict between you two.

I guess, you need to speak to your husband about this issue. Know what he expects, and how he should treat you in front of his children. That he should give you "standing" and "authority", so they can respect you. Most importantly, try to "patch" their relationship with their mother and to get them to like her. Be the nicer person. At least then, if the ex-wife has any good in her, she will appreciate your efforts and change. Hopefully, if it is not far-fetched, she will no longer be your enemy.

Masha'Allah :cute:

:os I guess that guy 9 days ago didn't work out (http://englishsabla.com/forum/showthread.php?t=51017)?

Or is this the same guy? :os

Anyway being a step-parent presents a whole new set of problems. I wouldn't count on these children at this age to not care about there mother.

i don't believe they hate their mum.

i don't believe they hate their mum.
me neither actually.

Poisonillusions,

It’s a nice a noble think you doing by accepting this, but I say you are too young to take the responsibility of two kids.

I'm sure that the man you are with can find another mature woman whom is more ready for this responsibility.

You just came from a relationship which will take a time to heal your inner soul, as a human we tend to rush into things we might regret later on after having a hard drama as you called it.

My advice is having a second thought, you are not committed yet.

Again, doing that is a noble thing but that will result cutting many years of your life and jumping to a level which you skip many stages of your life.