It's really common that some families always argue or fight with their daughter's/son's partner. What would you do if you were in this situation? when it's not a huge deal that you might think of letting go of your partner or just stay away from your family.

They just don't get along...how would someone deal with this? :os

Well...find out why they cannot get along....see if that can be resolved by a compromise or by just talking it out. If all else fails...just keep them apart.
Atleast, that's what I'd do.

Same here. You first need to get down to the root of the problem. Though, the parents should be grown up about it and realise that this is the person who, in the end, makes their daughter/son happy. So they should not create bad feeling for their own daughter or son's sake and should keep the peace.

I'm lucky because I don't have any of these problems. My in laws are far away, so even if they were annoying (which they are not) they'd be too far to really cause problems and my own family is very down to earth and they'd never create bad feeling like that for me. No one ever interferes, unless we ask them to.

But what if you kept them apart...the family will go like :"You gave us up for him!" lol

^^ I didn't understand...

Umm..your family feel like you gave them up? since you have to live with your partner anyways :p

Parents can be interfering and lack understanding, sure. But the other side of the coin is : sometimes they can be right and we just don't want to listen to them!

A smart parent won't push too hard. But a smart child will realize that listening isn't a bad thing and that parents can sometimes have something to offer, even if it's unpleasant to hear.

Their loss obli.

In the end, all birds leave the nest. How far they go depends on how willing they are to see and make their son/daughter happy.

Parents can be interfering and lack understanding, sure. But the other side of the coin is : sometimes they can be right and we just don't want to listen to them!

A smart parent won't push too hard. But a smart child will realize that listening isn't a bad thing and that parents can sometimes have something to offer, even if it's unpleasant to hear.
Parents should not interfere as long as there aren't serious problems that could make or break the marriage.

Simply disliking the daughter or son in-law should not come between them.

I'll try to fix the problem and make them talk to each other till it's solved. I would hate to be in the situation but i've seen it happen with various people and it's really annoying when they choose to ignore the problem instead of addressing it and getting it over and done with.

I so understand this topic. My husbands mother just hates me......always have and always will. She never liked me even before she met me. I have tried to be friendly with her...........but we do come from different cultures and she just does not like what i do......or how I parent, or be a wife and daughter in law. We dont speak the same language( used to bother me but now I am happy I dont understand her....HA HA) It used to upset me alot she hated me.....but in the end I understand It is my husband that has to hear her SHOUT about me. I dont think anything I do can make her like me, so I just dont visit unless my husband ask me to go. This is as least as possible. He visits alot without me. I will try to visit if he has alot of family visiting so we dont have to sit with just her. I used to live with her........but thanks God we moved because I was in hell. There r somethings u can do and the person will not like you......nothing can be done. I try not to talk about his mother to him..........ask your partner to not bring it up unless it is a major thing. Both need to understand it is stressfull for you and if they love you they will not bring up the other to you in complants. My experience is to ask your partner to give more and be the nicer one...........not your family. this will in the end make him or her the better person. For example I do visit my in laws but it is an open topic she hates me. she has never been to my house. but no matter what she has done to me( and she has done ALOT!) I still sit and visit the family. I feel the partner should do this because the family is harder on him or hse then the partner and the partner needs a break! Now my sister in laws r nice..........(some are'nt) but overall they r good to me. I suggest that you tell your partner that it will help you if he or she observe paitence for you. turn away from petty things..........in the end they all know who the trouble maker is ......It is also up to you to ignore what your family says and not tell your partner....(dont full the flame). My husbands doesnt tell me what she tells him and she says ALOT to him about me. almost on every visit she will "advise" him about me. ha ha You have a family and a mate..........you must learn that the two dont mix..........and make them both understand that no one is leaving.........and they will have to deal with it. and learn to have a life with you only without the other. The major work falls on you to learn how to have two lives........one with the family. and one with your mate. NUMBER ONE RULE..........learn how to not talk about the other one when you r visiting the other. take about other things. and when they bring up the others name .....CHANGE THE SUBJECT! or say in a nice way to not talk about him or her. hope it helps.

Those kind of people have plenty of time to argue !

Just try to find a compromise among you and if not , so you must be the one who solve it if it was from your side and vice versa !

I'd just try to keep my distance if possible. I wouldn't get worked up about it, especially if I haven't done anything wrong and they have no reason to dislike me. I'd just do what I can to make my partner happy, and hopefully in time his family will see that he's happy with me, and we're good together.
As long as he doesn't take sides and create even greater conflict, although I assume we will have a few problems, hopefully they won't be significant enough to ruin our relationship.

I've always thought that I wouldn't want to marry someone if their family didn't approve of me or like me. It just puts an additional strain on the marriage. I'd rather do without it and marry into a family that actually doesn't mind me.

hmmm...it's very difficult having to deal with a family that doesn't like you.
I would be patient in the beginning and try to figure out where i've gone wrong. if it's mere dislike... I'll poke them and ask to talk to them privately. (get my stick ready)<< totally kidding.
just try to work things out with them
if i failed in all that... i'll keep my distance. Cuz then I'd know it's not about what I do or how I am... it's about the very point of me being there... no matter how good I try to be.

I don't know. The most logical thing to do would be to talk to them about whatever is bothering us, but if that didn't work, I will still stick around and be civil towards her/them but I won't be all buddy-buddy with them. I won't talk about it openly with my partner because that would create problems, and I will fire up and that would create a huge conflict. I also wouldn't want him to tell me what they say about me. I would rather remain oblivious and be polite towards his family when I see them.

When you Get Married Then Your Family Should Respect Your Life Away From Them ..

Women are jealous by they nature and that what 'cause such things to happen in a family, sadly they tend to feel that they aren't no longer needed (maybe) whether its the sister or the mother of the man, however, if the man was smart enough he would fix everything up and delete the whole hate vibe between the, but if any or both (parents and wife) were stubborn enough the man will be like in a middle of a storm wave that he can never suffer unless if he eliminated a side or so how he feels at first where here comes the selection which isn't possible because normally a man wouldn't let go of his wife nor let go of his own parents no matter what they do to him, in that case maybe the best solution would be separating both sides and him visiting the parents and all and doing the father job at its best, but ofcourse this will turn into a dramatic situation maybe less stress, but definitely not the best especially for the kids.

The best thing a man can do in this situation is NOT get involved. If your wife is fighting with your sister, don't get involved. Let them solve it between themselves. Listen to both sides if you have to, but don't do anything positive about it.

When you marry someone you marry the entire family. But anywho, it's not his fault if he has a sl*tty ma' or a wh*re for a sister. So I'd just live with it. Try to keep my distance obviously.

well, i think you should try to get along with them as much as possible..if it didn't work then maybe it's best to keep your distance.

it's a tough and sometimes an impossible decision to choose between your family and you're spouse.

Moms will always argue with their daughter in law unless they choose them!

Moms will always argue with their daughter in law unless they choose them!

I bet they would argue even if they chose them :bored:

gonna tell my family
even if they dontlikehim or wtever .. just try to be nice to him
n tellhim the same

n ifthey keep on fightin ...i just have to stop them :P

If you tried your best 2 work it out and it didn't work out then just try and have that happy medium 4 both your partner and family and if that didn't happen then I'd say you might have 2 pick one, which isn't easy at all I imagine!

Parents should not interfere as long as there aren't serious problems that could make or break the marriage.

Simply disliking the daughter or son in-law should not come between them.

Parents should not be quick to interfere.

But I have known people who got involved with folks that were bad for them and their parents said nothing. Years later they said, "I wish my parents had SAID something! They never even TOLD me! They were too busy "respecting" me...."

I think it's a tough call for parents. Sometimes they are too bossy and interfering. But sometimes they are too hands off.

When u get married, Yer wife/husband becomes yer whole world .. :)

and if something like this happened, I should I`ll Support my wife and leave my family.

They should respect my life away from them, as i did respect theirs.