Well, the start of romance leads to other stuff .. a hug, an innocent kiss, and BANG !! The next thing you know your in bed with the person. So I'd put it this way : Romance leads to a never ending sin.

However, does this mean that love never excists before marriage? Is it just the romance that makes you believe that your in love with your bf/gf ?

Love doesn't mean humping your person, you can always not kiss not hug not bla bla and still love the person -_-;.

Yeah, well but it's natural that once you go physical you would want more. Which only leads to chaos at the end.

Love does exist before marriage. You just need to remember that you have other priorities, no matter how hard it will be to keep your hands off one another. :os

Plus, it depends on the couple themselves. Some will be happy with just kisses and hugs. Some will not be satisfied with that all and will need the full thing. Others, are strong enough to not do anything. Anyway, it varies from person to person.

There are limits in love before marriage, and after marriage you break those limits.

Love seems too complex before marriage. Hmm, I wonder how can a person know when they're in love ... :os

Love seems too complex before marriage. Hmm, I wonder how can a person know when they're in love ... :os

You just know it when you are, it is not that difficult. But then, there are several stages of love. The first time you fall in love would maybe not be as deep as the second time, etc.

Love, that leads to all this I wouldnt call it love.. a guy who is willing to take from the girl he loves (knowing our society) more than what he should, doesnt love her enough. A girl should put this infront her whenever she is with a guy!

I read this from this link:http://www.tasawwuf.org/writings/sermons/khutbat_onev1.htm
Love After Marriage
Sharia has not given permission for any sort of pre-marital relations and hence any marriage that is based on such a concept as love before marriage will indeed be on a very weak footing. The unfortunate results of love marriages in non-Islamic societies are reflected in staggering divorce rates because they are based on a false and temporal love.

Marriage in Islamic societies is based not on this but on Sharia and the pleasure of Allah. Parents as rightful guardians select the best companion for their son and daughter based on various factors and hence the couple starts a new life together according to the tenets of the Holy Quran and Sunnah.

meaning no love b4 marriage!

^ thats bull ! how can you marry someone without loving him/her ?

^ You will learn how to love him/her after marriage :)

I read this from this link:http://www.tasawwuf.org/writings/sermons/khutbat_onev1.htm
Love After Marriage
Sharia has not given permission for any sort of pre-marital relations and hence any marriage that is based on such a concept as love before marriage will indeed be on a very weak footing. The unfortunate results of love marriages in non-Islamic societies are reflected in staggering divorce rates because they are based on a false and temporal love.

Marriage in Islamic societies is based not on this but on Sharia and the pleasure of Allah. Parents as rightful guardians select the best companion for their son and daughter based on various factors and hence the couple starts a new life together according to the tenets of the Holy Quran and Sunnah.

meaning no love b4 marriage!

I was also under the impression that divorce rates in the middle east has been steadily increasing because of forced marriages..

and no, I wouldn't let my parents pick for me my wife... heck i wouldn't even let them pick my clothes! people have the choice to propose to women or at least ask their family for the go-ahead.. and a woman has the option to accept or reject the man who proposed..

here's what i think:

love can come b4 mirrage (i think it should), and i dont agree with ppl who say that love comes after mirrage..although it does sometimes...

other opinions r said by other members and i quoted thier replies...


^ thats bull ! how can you marry someone without loving him/her ?

Love, that leads to all this I wouldnt call it love.. a guy who is willing to take from the girl he loves (knowing our society) more than what he should, doesnt love her enough. A girl should put this infront her whenever she is with a guy!

Love doesn't mean humping your person, you can always not kiss not hug not bla bla and still love the person -_-;.



, I wouldn't let my parents pick for me my wife... heck i wouldn't even let them pick my clothes!..

russel peters?? :p

^ You will learn how to love him/her after marriage :)

Good luck with that :), what if you didn't love him ? you would get divorced with kids maybe. well is that any better ? :)

Good luck with that :), what if you didn't love him ? you would get divorced with kids maybe. well is that any better ? :)

Only god decides your desitiny. If a person is meant to be divorced then h/she will be divorced eventually, regardless of how h/she got married.

Only god decides your desitiny. If a person is meant to be divorced then h/she will be divorced eventually, regardless of how h/she got married.

im really sorry to say it but that's a wrong way to see destiny...

we should believe that destiny is written 2 every one of us, but we should also do actions with reasons (na5ith bel asbab)...

you cant just marry a person that u have no feelings to n say: if my destiny is to get a divorce than so be it...

^ Stop twisting my words. All i'm saying is that divorce can occur regardless of the method on which the person is married.

^ you won't understand .

^ Stop twisting my words. All i'm saying is that divorce can occur regardless of the method on which the person is married.

but r u saying that the fact that the person loves his/her partner b4 mirrage, isnt important??

they all have equal oppotunity of divorce??

^ Listen, I just won't botehr arguiying with you because we both have different points of views. Ofcourse they would be a bit of attraction, but I wouldn't call it love ... I believe that you start loveing a person while being with him 24/7. Youm might disagree and have a different theory, ok fine that's teh way you see it. :) I'm not syaing that i'm right and your wrong, after all it's just an opinion and an opinion isn't a fact. Hence, it does not necessary has to be true.

^ so ... when u get engaged... can't u see if you will love him or already love or maybe even can love him after marriage ? it isn't necessary to be after marriage.

Phat: I give up, You have your point of view and I have mine .. and whenever I say or try to explain what I think you get me wrong. Whatever, I lost intesrest in the topic. :)

you would get divorced with kids maybe. well is that any better ? :)

those who got married after long love story can get divorced too!

those who got married after long love story can get divorced too!

Exactly, thank you !

I agree with Juve to a certain extent. I believe that there is no real love before marriage unless you lived with that person and happened to know them inside out and that rarely happens in our society. Love is completed when you guys accept each other's good and bad, yet you still want to be together and respect one another. Before living together, before marriage, you are both trying to impress one another and you can show what you want to show, and in that case, you can't be really in love with that person, because you don't know them well enough. And even if you guys were together for four years or so, you don't know that person well enough until you've lived with them.

I don't expect to love my fiance. I just need to know that I can fall in love with him because he has what I am looking for in a guy- general qualities and I am physically attracted to him.

Now back to the topic: I think couples who are romantically involved don't necessarily have to go all the way; so it is not really a never-ending-sin. Some couples never touch yet they get to know each other for marriage purposes and they're romantically involved. It's true that when you are infatuated with someone, you would want to be with them physically, but then people have will powers and if you fear God, then your will will resist the temptations to commit a sin.

those who got married after long love story can get divorced too!

I'm not talking about the possibility of getting divorced, but the reason of getting divorced, which is so obvious that in my case a non loving couples would get hurt and divorced eventually, but what you are stating is different.
hope u get the point.

I believe that romance and caring is what makes you think you're in love. But you are truly in love when you're married and living with him/her.

Here it is in points:

1. Relationships before marriage (NO)

2. Girls: You can sit and get to know the person in one situation: If he comes and proposes, because this means he's serious. (You get a chance to talk to him and know him better)

3. Guys: If you liked a girl you go and propose. And if you're still young to propose, why the hell annoy the girl?

4. ( THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ) At the end, if you had a relationship or not, before getting married you must pray Istikhaara more than once, for God to choose whats best for you. Because you don't know what's best for you.

(I hope people know how to pray Istikhaara)

Evidence from the Quran on love after marriage:

21. And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

(The Romans - 21)


There's no 'love' before marriage ... just 'Shahwa'.

Wow!!!!!!!

i have a feeling that bogus look down on everyone else here and disdain them ! :)
her post is good but has some very unnecessary remarks in it that without them her post wouldve been awesome ! :)

Bogus' post describes it best...
If you really love someone, you just need to make sure that you make it serious, that is...If you truely love them. Instead of wasting your time, your morals, your Islam on illusion...Make the dream come true and in the same time; halal.

I think Islam doesn't say no to that!

Here it is in points:

1. Relationships before marriage (NO)

2. Girls: You can sit and get to know the person in one situation: If he comes and proposes, because this means he's serious. (You get a chance to talk to him and know him better)

3. Guys: If you liked a girl you go and propose. And if you're still young to propose, why the hell annoy the girl?

4. ( THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ) At the end, if you had a relationship or not, before getting married you must pray Istikhaara more than once, for God to choose whats best for you. Because you don't know what's best for you.

(I hope people know how to pray Istikhaara)

Evidence from the Quran on love after marriage:



There's no 'love' before marriage ... just 'Shahwa'.
I disagree with your last line. There is love before marriage. It is the commitment that is less before marriage. Some people get married and still have problems with commitment (and love) afterwards!

A marriage contract does not create love. It is an illusion, a fairtytale told to those youngsters who are afraid to marry a complete stranger in an arranged marriage and the various varieties of it.

Two people can grow to love each other through time, (if they get on and like each other enough) whether married or not. Not the other way around.

Albeit, it is better in my personal opinion for a loving relationship to evolve into marriage-hood because of the spiritual, financial, civil and emotional stability that comes with it.

There is no point, imo, for two people who love each other to remain unmarried. So, although I disagree with you on that part, I agree with you on others.