IntI
16-05-07, 05:46 PM
Allah has detailed married life and the rights associated therewith in surah al-Nisa, and the righteous predecessors would make it a routine to teach their daughters the explication [tafsir] of both surah al-Nisa and surah al-Nur before marriage. If the Muslims of today do not or cannot teach their daughters the entire Holy Quran they should at least teach their daughters the above named surahs so they would be familiar with their rights and responsibilities when the time of marriage comes.
Since there was no printing press at the time, most of the righteous predecessors used to make a habit of having their daughters transcribe the Holy Quran by hand when she had finished or was finishing her education and the time of marriage was still far. Hence the girl would perform ablution and happily transcribe parts of the Holy Quran daily, and when complete the father would bind it in gold and this would be given as dower at the time of marriage. This was the dower in those times, thereby informing the future husband that whatever free time the girl had in her home was spent in transcribing the Book of Allah.
Rights of the Husband
When discussing women's rights the Messenger of Allah said that if Sharia had permitted prostration to anyone in addition to Allah he would command the woman to prostrate to her husband. It is further recorded in hadith that if a woman fulfills all her obligatory duties to Allah and dies in a state in that her husband is pleased with her then she can enter Paradise through any gate without judgment. Consequently on the other hand the Messenger of Allah also said that the angels curse a wife all night whose husband is annoyed with her for a legitimate sharia reason and goes to sleep without the wife having obeyed him. Therefore Allah has included the husband's pleasure with His Own, and nobody demonstrated better regard for their husband better than the female Companions.
A female Companion (raa) was blessed with a child while her husband was away for battle, but the child became seriously ill and died merely a few hours before the new father arrived. Very worried that her husband would be extremely saddened at the news and not having had the chance to see his child in this life she sat contemplating what she should do. Not telling anyone her sad news, she bathed the child's body and laid it in the cot with a blanket over it. When her husband arrived and asked where the child was she merely replied, “He is at peace.” The husband hence thought the child was sleeping and then the couple ate together, discussed his ordeals in battle and then retired for the night.
May Allah give Paradise to such a heroic woman who undertakes the enormous burden of knowing her son's lifeless body is merely lying a few feet away, but bears this pain for the sake of sparing her husband who has just come home from battle.
The next morning she asked her husband, “If one is given a trust by someone else and he wants it back after some time should it be returned with pleasure or a heavy heart?” Her husband replied that all trusts should be returned to their rightful owners with pleasure since they were only given in the first place for safeguard purposes and not ownership. His wife thence continued, “Then Allah also gave you a trust for a limited time but claimed it just a few hours before you arrived. Now go and bury it with pleasure.” The strength of such women goes beyond the imagination for they truly fulfilled the rights of humanity.
Her husband promptly went to the Messenger of Allah and told him what had transpired and that his wife had borne all her pain simply to spare him the harsh news so soon after his arrival. The Prophet therefore supplicated to Allah who blessed their previous night together and gave them a son who grew up to not only memorize the entire Holy Quran but thousands of hadith as well.
Have mercy on whosoever is on the ground and the One in the heavens will have mercy upon you
The concept of the wife in Islam is that of a life companion and friend and not of a servant or slave, and wherever Allah mentions the life or rights of marriage He also cautions the couple to be fearful of Allah. No one else is between the couple in this private relationship to check them and so Allah continuously reminds them to be fearful because everyone has to return to Allah one day.
Since the couple is alone without anyone else to check them they are very quick to hurt each other, hence this warning so people can reflect upon the Day when they have to face Allah after having hurt each other all their lives. Forgiveness is a very beautiful yet simple virtue that the couple should practice, and not only ask for forgiveness but also be quick to forgive each other if any partner makes a mistake. Admitting a mistake and asking forgiveness is strength and not a weakness.
An incident from the glorious life of Hadrat Maulana Ghulam Habib (rah) provides a beautiful example of this virtue. Before departing for the mosque to lead congregational prayers his wife was helping him in performing ablution in a way that displeased him. He hence scolded her but she remained silent and completed the ablution in the way he wanted. Walking to the mosque he stopped halfway and reflected on what had happened, weighing in his mind how he could possibly lead the people in prayer when he had dealt so harshly with his wife. Hadrat then returned home and apologized to his wife for his previous actions and continued to the masjid after being forgiven. Such individuals are indeed a shining example of sincerity in that their lives become a beacon for all to follow.
Happily Ever After
“To run a big show requires a big heart” is an English proverb that reveals a great deal of what is required in married life. If love is lacking then the smallest differences become enormous obstacles and molehills become mountains. Sharia hence advises a couple should live in love and harmony.
Marriage demands great forbearance and patience. It seems so strange that a husband quarrels with the wife who has dedicated all her life to him and likewise the wife quarrels with the husband who not only takes care of her needs but also holds such a high status in their marriage.
No marriage is perfect, and many times even the most educated of couples become estranged mostly because of pride or lack of religious knowledge. Both husband and wife become so indifferent to each other that both search for faults to highlight in the other. Sadly they are physically so close but so far apart at heart.
It should be well noted that a husband and wife never fight because of each other but always because of a third party, usually the in-laws. To offset this sharia raises the in-laws to the level of parents after marriage, and the woman is taught that whereas before marriage she had one mother now she has two, and vice versa for the man. Hence the wife should make it a point to always try and please her husband's parents and the husband should do likewise for his wife's parents. Lives will change and homes will become peaceful if only people were to apply this principle to their lives.
Whenever one partner becomes angry the other needs to be calm to neutralize the situation because the matter only escalates to a danger level if both flare at the same time. It is recorded in hadith that both the husband and wife are given the reward of Hadrat Ayyub's (as) patience whenever one partner exercises patience and restraint at the other's anger. So if the reward for restraint is so great people should seriously ponder over the petty things they become angry upon.
Protection from Negative Thoughts
Avoiding negative thoughts about the other partner is crucial in the survival of a marriage, because everything concerning an individual that one likes appears rosy but at the same time everything concerning an individual that one dislikes appears evil. Moreover one becomes preoccupied nearly to the point of obsession in searching out the targeted party's faults. If this negativity infiltrates a marriage then the husband and wife begin to see everything of the other partner as poison.
There is a renowned story about such negativity that tells of a wife who would constantly chastise her husband at every opportunity. He hence supplicated to Allah one day to bestow such a miracle by which his wife would be impressed and start to respect him. Consequently he was inspired that if he so desired he would be given the power to fly and he seized this opportunity and flew over their house. When he returned home in the evening his wife snapped at him in her usual fashion, “You flaunt yourself like you're somebody important. Today I truly saw such a one who was flying overhead.” The husband smiled because he saw his opportunity and proudly said that that had been him. The wife thought hard at this and finally said, “That's why I was thinking to myself, why is this person flying in such a crooked fashion!?”
Negativity threatens to destroy a marriage and so a husband and wife must always try and see each other in a positive light. There will be no need to deal harshly or apply pressure on the other partner in an effort to get one's own way if both partner's treat each other with love, kindness and respect. A rosebush has beautiful roses as well as sharp thorns but it is up to us to focus on the good and not the bad.
Since there was no printing press at the time, most of the righteous predecessors used to make a habit of having their daughters transcribe the Holy Quran by hand when she had finished or was finishing her education and the time of marriage was still far. Hence the girl would perform ablution and happily transcribe parts of the Holy Quran daily, and when complete the father would bind it in gold and this would be given as dower at the time of marriage. This was the dower in those times, thereby informing the future husband that whatever free time the girl had in her home was spent in transcribing the Book of Allah.
Rights of the Husband
When discussing women's rights the Messenger of Allah said that if Sharia had permitted prostration to anyone in addition to Allah he would command the woman to prostrate to her husband. It is further recorded in hadith that if a woman fulfills all her obligatory duties to Allah and dies in a state in that her husband is pleased with her then she can enter Paradise through any gate without judgment. Consequently on the other hand the Messenger of Allah also said that the angels curse a wife all night whose husband is annoyed with her for a legitimate sharia reason and goes to sleep without the wife having obeyed him. Therefore Allah has included the husband's pleasure with His Own, and nobody demonstrated better regard for their husband better than the female Companions.
A female Companion (raa) was blessed with a child while her husband was away for battle, but the child became seriously ill and died merely a few hours before the new father arrived. Very worried that her husband would be extremely saddened at the news and not having had the chance to see his child in this life she sat contemplating what she should do. Not telling anyone her sad news, she bathed the child's body and laid it in the cot with a blanket over it. When her husband arrived and asked where the child was she merely replied, “He is at peace.” The husband hence thought the child was sleeping and then the couple ate together, discussed his ordeals in battle and then retired for the night.
May Allah give Paradise to such a heroic woman who undertakes the enormous burden of knowing her son's lifeless body is merely lying a few feet away, but bears this pain for the sake of sparing her husband who has just come home from battle.
The next morning she asked her husband, “If one is given a trust by someone else and he wants it back after some time should it be returned with pleasure or a heavy heart?” Her husband replied that all trusts should be returned to their rightful owners with pleasure since they were only given in the first place for safeguard purposes and not ownership. His wife thence continued, “Then Allah also gave you a trust for a limited time but claimed it just a few hours before you arrived. Now go and bury it with pleasure.” The strength of such women goes beyond the imagination for they truly fulfilled the rights of humanity.
Her husband promptly went to the Messenger of Allah and told him what had transpired and that his wife had borne all her pain simply to spare him the harsh news so soon after his arrival. The Prophet therefore supplicated to Allah who blessed their previous night together and gave them a son who grew up to not only memorize the entire Holy Quran but thousands of hadith as well.
Have mercy on whosoever is on the ground and the One in the heavens will have mercy upon you
The concept of the wife in Islam is that of a life companion and friend and not of a servant or slave, and wherever Allah mentions the life or rights of marriage He also cautions the couple to be fearful of Allah. No one else is between the couple in this private relationship to check them and so Allah continuously reminds them to be fearful because everyone has to return to Allah one day.
Since the couple is alone without anyone else to check them they are very quick to hurt each other, hence this warning so people can reflect upon the Day when they have to face Allah after having hurt each other all their lives. Forgiveness is a very beautiful yet simple virtue that the couple should practice, and not only ask for forgiveness but also be quick to forgive each other if any partner makes a mistake. Admitting a mistake and asking forgiveness is strength and not a weakness.
An incident from the glorious life of Hadrat Maulana Ghulam Habib (rah) provides a beautiful example of this virtue. Before departing for the mosque to lead congregational prayers his wife was helping him in performing ablution in a way that displeased him. He hence scolded her but she remained silent and completed the ablution in the way he wanted. Walking to the mosque he stopped halfway and reflected on what had happened, weighing in his mind how he could possibly lead the people in prayer when he had dealt so harshly with his wife. Hadrat then returned home and apologized to his wife for his previous actions and continued to the masjid after being forgiven. Such individuals are indeed a shining example of sincerity in that their lives become a beacon for all to follow.
Happily Ever After
“To run a big show requires a big heart” is an English proverb that reveals a great deal of what is required in married life. If love is lacking then the smallest differences become enormous obstacles and molehills become mountains. Sharia hence advises a couple should live in love and harmony.
Marriage demands great forbearance and patience. It seems so strange that a husband quarrels with the wife who has dedicated all her life to him and likewise the wife quarrels with the husband who not only takes care of her needs but also holds such a high status in their marriage.
No marriage is perfect, and many times even the most educated of couples become estranged mostly because of pride or lack of religious knowledge. Both husband and wife become so indifferent to each other that both search for faults to highlight in the other. Sadly they are physically so close but so far apart at heart.
It should be well noted that a husband and wife never fight because of each other but always because of a third party, usually the in-laws. To offset this sharia raises the in-laws to the level of parents after marriage, and the woman is taught that whereas before marriage she had one mother now she has two, and vice versa for the man. Hence the wife should make it a point to always try and please her husband's parents and the husband should do likewise for his wife's parents. Lives will change and homes will become peaceful if only people were to apply this principle to their lives.
Whenever one partner becomes angry the other needs to be calm to neutralize the situation because the matter only escalates to a danger level if both flare at the same time. It is recorded in hadith that both the husband and wife are given the reward of Hadrat Ayyub's (as) patience whenever one partner exercises patience and restraint at the other's anger. So if the reward for restraint is so great people should seriously ponder over the petty things they become angry upon.
Protection from Negative Thoughts
Avoiding negative thoughts about the other partner is crucial in the survival of a marriage, because everything concerning an individual that one likes appears rosy but at the same time everything concerning an individual that one dislikes appears evil. Moreover one becomes preoccupied nearly to the point of obsession in searching out the targeted party's faults. If this negativity infiltrates a marriage then the husband and wife begin to see everything of the other partner as poison.
There is a renowned story about such negativity that tells of a wife who would constantly chastise her husband at every opportunity. He hence supplicated to Allah one day to bestow such a miracle by which his wife would be impressed and start to respect him. Consequently he was inspired that if he so desired he would be given the power to fly and he seized this opportunity and flew over their house. When he returned home in the evening his wife snapped at him in her usual fashion, “You flaunt yourself like you're somebody important. Today I truly saw such a one who was flying overhead.” The husband smiled because he saw his opportunity and proudly said that that had been him. The wife thought hard at this and finally said, “That's why I was thinking to myself, why is this person flying in such a crooked fashion!?”
Negativity threatens to destroy a marriage and so a husband and wife must always try and see each other in a positive light. There will be no need to deal harshly or apply pressure on the other partner in an effort to get one's own way if both partner's treat each other with love, kindness and respect. A rosebush has beautiful roses as well as sharp thorns but it is up to us to focus on the good and not the bad.