:os

how many of with complete honesty can say if ur in a relationship marriage or gf/bf that u and ur partner have a mental connectivity ....!!!

i mean the reason i asked is that many ppl have asked me why i have chosen to remain single for now and i realised the other day that i havent really met anyone who has been able to have or hold an intelligent conversation with me .....!! i am not being vain or proud but i am not a stupid either .... i mean at some point ppl (men in my case ) and i have noticed women (in some of my friends cases) ..... completely change even when ur all just hanging out with each other or have met throught ppl or work ... what ever mental connectivity that iniatally takes place if at all then it goes right out the window coz it aint there the next time .... and then if u do try and have a conversations it hayati i love u, hayati i miss u ... for men and women ....if u try to have some mode of conversations u just cant ......

i agree that this is not the only thing that should light sparks for a relationship but other than sparks flying all over the place the mental sparks should be there ..... at least for me anyway ....

This is the essence of every pleasure in this world (in this life) being 'incomplete' or you can say humans being 'accounted' gets so easily 'bored'. You know it is a sequential race, you are being handled between phases 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 ...etc. First there is platonic love, then there is marriage, ture love becomes less agressive but there comes 'kids' to fill the decreased love. You know a feeling that can't be compared to any other love to have a baby attached to you.

Things happen like this, phses so much of mental stimulation regarding having kids. That is the feeling you carry while making the effort going to the toy shop to buy your daughter of son a toy. How much of passion you have to see him 'grow'..?? Incomparable!!!

Limiting life to one side of love is like being so much afraid to jump into the swimming pool, but believe me, just you try it once, you get used to it, and then you taste the sweetness of it so that is the 'only' reason you seek a more advanced pleasure, or say the 'next level', till comes the final of all pleasures which is 'eternal peace'!

Ask an old man about it, don't ask young people, a very old man will give you the overview , while the young will give you the head-view...big difference, bigger experience ... call it life!

many ppl have asked me why i have chosen to remain single for now and i realised the other day that i havent really met anyone who has been able to have or hold an intelligent conversation with me .....!! i am not being vain or proud but i am not a stupid either ....
You are following the right way
cause at the end of day, when everything goes wrong, all you have left with your partner is dialogue and that has its roots in culture, habits, way of thinking
Is not being classist or racist as many think, but is realistic to think like that
We're not alike but we need similarities to match up
I hope I understood your point here

Looking for a matching peace of cloth is very difficult, while this piece of cloth doesn't have any brain or emotions with one or two or maximum three specification (red silk with round patterns) ...What about finding a matching for a 1000,000 specification object (human being) which even varies from year to year, season to season month to month, or day to day or even hour to hour, or very much from a moment to another !!!???

I think it is simply impossible!

hmmmm well haroundb i dont know if i understood u ...

yes i think amo u did ...

however just to clear somthing up i was using my self as an example only .....

haroundb i am not saying that i want an exact cloth ..... or someone like me but it even the completely opposite specieman to should be able to connect at a higher level i am not saying hearing words of love or experessions of that are not beautiful and it is nice but what i am tryign to say is that spark that creats interest an intrigue to know the other person better ...

hmmmm well haroundb i dont know if i understood u ...

yes i think amo u did ...

however just to clear somthing up i was using my self as an example only .....
My First Post:
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1- Nothing will get to your satisfaction for a long time, even if it was labeled 'perfect' by the majority!

2- You can find better options ahead insted of waiting for an option to pass by you. love between a man and a woman is a 'type' of love, not all the 'love'. Mental interaction whihc brings stimulation of feelings can be between a mother and her son or daughter insted of between a wife and her husband.


My First Post:
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1- No two (live) objects in this life can be identifal, as far as it is 'live' there should be a difference. Even the left side of your body is not like the right side. look now at your both hands, .... they are not the same? Even fingers in one hand are not the same? Couldn't it be possible that all five of your fingers be in the same shape and lenght?

true but aroun what u do not seem to get is that i am not talking about being identical or similar or any of that just pure interesting converstion... so should i understand that assuming that ur ina relationship that u have no converstions with that woman or that she doesnt have the skills to be able to mentally stimulate u .... just asking

I agree with jawaher..Yes there should be a mental connection between a couple. If they don't think the same way and at the same level, then it will never work no matter how hard you try.

connect at a higher level i am not saying hearing words of love or experessions of that are not beautiful and it is nice but what i am tryign to say is that spark that creats interest an intrigue to know the other person better ...
OK ... I understand you now, and so I would suppose that you have a pattern for that in your mind, and you are trying (unconsciously) to match with it.

Or else it would be that the massive majority doesn't have what you are seaching for? Then for sure that would mean you have to question the location not the people?

Or you simply don't know what you are searching for?...Can't it be a possibility?

Jawar it all depends on your priorities [am addressing you as you raised the issue but we all have that problem] and on what is your platform when you build a relation [not only in love but also as friendship or family]

Reading this:
:os
i mean the reason i asked is that many ppl have asked me why i have chosen to remain single for now and i realised the other day that i havent really met anyone who has been able to have or hold an intelligent conversation with me .....!!


And again reading this:
... what ever mental connectivity that iniatally takes place if at all then it goes right out the window coz it aint there the next time .... and then if u do try and have a conversations it hayati i love u, hayati i miss u ... for men and women ....if u try to have some mode of conversations u just cant ......

I just started replying ... could be wrong but I guess it will be better if you put it as a question...:help: Because I am really interested in this subject! :)

Angel Eyes... thanku for agreeing with me ....

ok Haroundb ...now we seem to be on the same frequency as in u understood my point and i urs ps please dont misunderstand this statement by thinking that u have to agree with my point of view i only mean understanding it .... ... true i could be in the wrong location but then again the majority doenst have what i want ... as for knowing what i would like ..... sorry to disapoint u but i do know .... and if i didnt then it wouldnt have been an issue ? but i do know what i want, and need.....

i am not saying mental connectivity shoulld be the only thing to have to base a potential or current relationship on but it should like mentioned earlier be an improtant decision making factor.. all fingers are not the same therefore all moods and etc of a human arent iether......and some should weigh more that others like some short fingure and some long fingure then u have the thumb soo i guess many ppl have there own perception on which is more important ... as for me one of my important critiria is mental stimulation.....and others... which are not related to the topic in hand.................

I guess human with such powerful brain can have and generate a connectivity. It's not hard if people want to do it, but it should be based on respect and understanding. Humans are a dynamic creatures, feelings and way of thinking change. What makes a marraige relationship continue is the couple to respect eachother even if they have two different communication channels.

what about this subject has interested u H....

hala ice tea long time ..... well i have to addmit it for a change i kinda agree with u .................... :love:

You have no choice but to agree with me ;)

So you are not married until now? I thought you already have 3 kids at least.

..... sorry to disapoint u but i do know .... and if i didnt then it wouldnt have been an issue ? but i do know what i want, and need.....
I will be so frankly speaking with you, as you are mature and will understand me.

Every single woman on this earth, will one day after sometime of marriage tell her husband, "we don't sit with eachother and talk", "we used to ... but no more", "Only sex, food, and work"...

Most of them also will think of husbands as they are sexually oriented sense they just care for her body more than heart heart...let me tell you something...

That is true fact, but as much as a mistake which a woman should go around and find a salvation from this situation. It is like our finger nails, they gew so much we cut them, and if they don't we go to the doctor to seek medical support cause the old is not replaced by the new fresh ones!

Men as men, amassively working machines they care alot for the 'pleasure' in their spare time. They think much of the 'relax' sensual than the intellectual. OK... now when he have a full day of business, and he squeezes his brain thousand times a day to bring things in the way he wants, and to fix things which don't really seem to go right, then sure after working hours, the brain will need a 'rest'

This is a truth, and that has nothing to do with women, it is a problem that is facing men and reflected on their relation with women. Like you have to tell me how many of men do write poetry for their beloved one? I know there are some, but compared to the olden day, they will count very few!

Before in the past life was simple, work was balanced with emotions, so there was a place for everything everywhere. Now life is different, there is no place for many things which used to be available in the past. A man is so much squeezed to the last drop in his work. He is no more relying on nature to provide hims supporting essentials of life.

Now a man is relying mainly on the 'organization' which is sadly feeds on the blood of humans. You can see that on the faces of people at 06:00 coming from their work in the evening. There is no single slot in their brain free for any 'brain work'. It is here when wife and husband meet. This is the point where women have the chance to express themselves, and their brain to speak after a long 'empty' day. But it is also the chance for men to relax, enjoy and release their pressure 're-gaining' their manhood which is suppressed during the daytime!

Am I on the right path to talk or just I went somewhere near to the moon? I think you only can tell me!

Almost every thread has an argument..loooooooool

what about this subject has interested u H....
That fact that many are facing this now, and among them ... someone I know@!

Dear Haroundb i think ur straying a little can we come back at least the stars :)

as for todays world not being the same i agree and i c ur point of view and the other important aspect is sex but that a different topic....

so it isnt a common problem is that what i am unnderstanding and this someone are they male or female....

ohhhh ice tea was waiting to c how long it would take u to say something so typically u ......

angel eyes were not arguing we are haveing a healthy converstion or discussion dont u all agree...?

amo i agree with u ...

interesting :rolleyes:
hehe

as for todays world not being the same i agree and i c ur point of view and the other important aspect is sex but that a different topic....

I just pushed it little far to explain what are the motivations behind having men without brains.

:) is my only comment for the last post heheh ....

Mental connectivity should exist or else how are you going to communicate with your other half. I mean imagine you were this really open-minded ambitious lady, whereas your guy has a mentality of an ape, you won't feel you're on common grounds whenever you two are conversing.

My guy has to possess the brains and he has to be smart. That doesn't necessarily call for a walking-talking-encyclopedia, but his IQ has to be higher than mine.

mesmie i agree with u

There should be a mental connectivity but then, you're going to spend your whole life with this person (if you are going to get married to him), and you both grow up and get evolved in different things. You might end up becoming a teacher and he might end up becoming a business man, and your job role differs alot! Of course he's going to change but that mental connectivity should still stay but it's definately not going to be like the first time you met.

The first time you meet someone, you try to get to know so many things about them. And when you figure out the similiarities between the two, you jump happily: "Woooow we're sooo much alike"!! But when the introductory part is over, you start taking care of so many other things which lead you to different paths.

You will still love one another but half of your day will be spent away from each other and when you are back home, it's going to take you some time to recover from that state to a different one.. He will not always be the "husband", but he'll be a "father" and a "business man"! Moving from one transition to another won't be so easy and that's why sometime he's going to come back home in a loving romantic mood, hugs you when you need it, and you'd go like: "Wooooow we're mentally connected" and at other times, he'd come back home, walk past you and right to the computer, and you'd feel: "HOW MEAN!!"

It's all about putting in mind it won't always be the same. You shouldn't expect full connectivity 24/7!! Think of it this way: when you computer has been online for days and days, you are so happy that it's constantly connected and downloading your best movies.. all of a sudden, on the 6th or 10th day, you get disconnected. You might go like: "ahhhh" but you won't get too upset, and you know that it was going to happen sooner or later. Same thing with our partner, they won't be there all the time, and our mental connection might sometime disconnect ;)

EW, instead of typing all that you could have just said "I agree with you" because what I said in few lines sumarizes all the above.

Sometimes I find it strange that members skip other members posts and repeat the whole thing.

:os

how many of with complete honesty can say if ur in a relationship marriage or gf/bf that u and ur partner have a mental connectivity ....!!!



Always....

I feel you man. Almost every single girl I met, especially from the gulf is highly emotional and lacks conversational skills. No offense to our lady members is intended.

Mental connectivity should exist or else how are you going to communicate with your other half. I mean imagine you were this really open-minded ambitious lady, whereas your guy has a mentality of an ape, you won't feel you're on common grounds whenever you two are conversing.

My guy has to possess the brains and he has to be smart. That doesn't necessarily call for a walking-talking-encyclopedia, but his IQ has to be higher than mine.

I agree, but what does IQ have to do with it? An why does he have to be smarter? Do you have an inferiority syndrome?

In order for me to fall for someone, I need to be mentally and intellectually challenged. So I guess in order for him to keep me interested, he needs to give me doses of intelligent conversation, so I don't feel like I am merely living with a sex-crazed-animal with no brains! That is not asking for a lot, but once in a while, it would be nice to debate, and stimulate your brain cells.

i agree with 3ayyar i have that problem with the male species and some of my female friends too who are just friends

I agree, but what does IQ have to do with it? An why does he have to be smarter? Do you have an inferiority syndrome?

I agree with Mesmie, I think you got her wrong as well:cute:
I think maybe because she would be able to relay more on him when they both decide to make big decisions. Women normally would want to have a partner that can be relayed on to take some of the responsibility they would both face in their lives. At least that's what I think:)

I agree with Mesmie, I think you got her wrong as well:cute:
I think maybe because she would be able to relay more on him when they both decide to make big decisions. Women normally would want to have a partner that can be relayed on to take some of the responsibility they would both face in their lives. At least that's what I think:)

That's what all girls say, but never mean. Judging from what I have read in here. The girls are looking for a husband they have full control over. Read the personal and social problems sabla and you'll realize that. They've already decided on the number of children and their names. They already decided on the technical and physical properties and specification of their husbands too.

I think most women need a blow to the head to get some sense into them and a bit of brains, but hey I'm a bit radical. I'm sure a bit less emotions and a bit more brains will do the trick.

Not all people are the same, I think the aftermath of getting married is the reality shock people get after knowing that they got new partners>> responsiblities.

Not all women like that, I think you find people who are control freaks from both sides plus most of the ES members who think that they will control or find a man who would marry a girl who would boss him around are dreaming:cute:

No such treatment is acceptable after all it's a serious life not a joke:p

i agree with Charm :cute:

some men might be ok with their wives having a higher IQ or brains or whatever but as time passes..it starts to obviously annoy them..i've seen it

actually some ladies act as if they don't know or pretend they're stupid just to satisfy their husbands so, i say to avoid all of this just marry a genius and don't pretend! lol


originally posted by Mesmie
My guy has to possess the brains and he has to be smart. That doesn't necessarily call for a walking-talking-encyclopedia, but his IQ has to be higher than mine.

i'll go with her..i want someone i can rely on :cute:

salam... good god where has this topic taken us ... all the only thing that i was claiming was that ppl cant have a decent conversation with a little intelect going on ... is all standard normal converstions especially when in groups or with the so called other half ......

what a person wants and needs are 2 different things....

the discussion is going way off base here ......

She doesn't have to be super smart for me to fall for her, All I need is someone whom I can actually have a conversation with about anything that strikes my interest or hers and I'm set, if that's called mental stimulation then yes it is important to have in a relationship.

ohh nabhan u i couldnt have made it as clear as u did ...... thank u
and i agree with u ....