i have some questions to the ladies :)
let's assume you're engaged to a person that you really love but your family-in-law especially his mom don't like u and keep bothering you all the time like being critical and a bit controling

~Would you tell him that you don't like the way u're treated by them? or Would you try to suck it up and act cool like nothing's bother you??

~Would you leave him because you can't imagin a life with such horrible people! ? or are you gona stick with him to the end and get married because you're marrying him not his mom! ?

~Would you tell him that you don't like the way u're treated by them? or Would you try to suck it up and act cool like nothing's bother you??
im gonna try to act cool and suck it up :p

~Would you leave him because you can't imagin a life with such horrible people! ? or are you gona stick with him to the end and get married because you're marrying him not his mom! ?
stick with him ofcourse

That's exactly why I wanna get married to an orphan lol I don't want no nosy, annoying in-laws hovering around me. I wanna live as far as possible from my in-laws. If she goes on treating me like trash, then I'm afraid I'm gonna have to do the same with her.

Well, I guess am gonna leave him:p

I don't like wasting my time with his mom, some guys are mama's boys which is not bad in a way I think it helps them with something we really don't know about :rolleyes:

Imagin a life with someone like that, when you first get married all is nice and sweet then after a while true colours starts showing. May god help us all men and women :p

Coming from a married woman prospective.

It all depends if you really love your partner, then you might be willing to stick it out for him and maybe with time your mother in law would change and learn to respect you.

The thing with mother in laws is that they see their sons as their own and thus refuse to watch them grow to love and appreciate any other women but them. Somehow its a little different when a woman has a girl, but she becomes more defensive with her son. Boys have special places in their mother's heart and at time it can turn against the women he chooses to marry. The situation can go two ways where the mother in law can learn to accept that her little boy has turned into a man or she would always be resentful of the other women in her sons’ life.

Another point i would like to make is to never put the man in between, since he would almost always side with his family be it mother, aunt uncle, brother or sister etc. You should never mention to a man that there is a fault or ill-treatment coming from his side of the family ( i learnt that the hard way).

Thanks Wardat_il'7leej for the advice!!
I'm not experienced yet, but the way I look at it is that, from day I'll treat his family as my own, and Inshallaaa I'll get the same in return.. We've heard many stories where the daughter in law was the victim, but I think there are always ways to overcome these problems. For every problem there's a solution ;)

~Would you tell him that you don't like the way u're treated by them? or Would you try to suck it up and act cool like nothing's bother you??
If I really love him I'd suck up to it and try to pack things up with them.

~Would you leave him because you can't imagin a life with such horrible people! ? or are you gona stick with him to the end and get married because you're marrying him not his mom! ?
horrible people will only be like that in the beginning when she's new and they're not used to her. It wouldn't last forever... who knows... they hate me now they might love me later.
and indeed I'd be marrying the son not the mother... still having them accept you is essential.
but as long's he's good... doesn't matter

I second Endure Whisper
and I strongly believe that when you marry a man, you marry his family.

so it is up to a person if they can stand the little coming and going words for the sake of the love of your life or prefers peace of mind more

Of course, I will stick to him.

After I'm part of his family, I will try to warm myself up to his mother and family. Be nice, attentive, generous and helpful. If they still give me a hard time, I will try not to show it, until hopefully one day, my husband might notice and do something about it- I doubt that :p. But talking ill about his family won't do you any good, so it's better that "you shut your piehole", and be patient. Hopefully it will pay off at the end. Anyways, I don't think I will be seeing them every day of the week, so it will be bearable.

I know of a person who has one of the worst mother's in law, and yet her husband knows how evil his mum is, and he supports his wife all the way because he knows who's in the wrong, and who is giving whom a hard time. So, I guess not all sons perceive their mothers as angels.

I think all it takes is a smart wife to know how to push her mother in law's button to be on her good side. Show her that her son has become a better person after he married you. Show her how good of a wife you are. Show her how nice you're around his family, be social, be involved and you will be okay.

lol...you live in a pink world or i live in a black world!

but the scenario you just said , is aint that easy to apply or live with the rest of your life....

talking about the majority , there are signs before marriage you can tell which type your mother in law is and decide how you gonna live with her son...fighting her all ur life or both be smart and try to accept each other

~Would you tell him that you don't like the way u're treated by them? or Would you try to suck it up and act cool like nothing's bother you??

If i really love my husband, I'd try my best to suck it up and act all cool about it

~Would you leave him because you can't imagin a life with such horrible people! ? or are you gona stick with him to the end and get married because you're marrying him not his mom! ?

I'd stay with my husband if we loved each other..no1's perfect, if i rejected him i might marry a person with even a worse mom! :p

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I agree with alot of what wardat il '7aleej and most of u said :)
i think we all should put ourselves in the mother's shoes imagin u raised ur son all these years and just in less time a woman takes him away from you it's kind of hard i can understand her feelings but i think the mother should also understand that this is life and that's how it goes
some women just don't accept that
to deal with such women you should be a very smart wife
you have to be the good side and for sure the husband will see clearly who's right and who's wrong
never make it sound like a competetion because you're just making the husband's life a living hell
try to sort it out always be nice :angel:

Speaking from experience (!) - you try and keep your mouth closed and smile sweetly, but at times it does get you down. When we lived away from the family it really was not a problem. When we moved in to the same area, it became a huge problem, but not only from his mother, also his sisters. He would get phone calls at all hours of day and night saying 'take me here, take me there' etc etc. FOr ages he went along with it and i would smile sweetly and say nothing. However the calls started to become more and more intrusive and i once (only once, i swear) pointed out that as his sisters were married, it was their husbands responsibilty - not my husbands. It did cause problems between us and also disturb our lives. Especially if we were asleep.or out somewhere, but we are lucky in that we have a huge belief in each other and our love for each other. Also, we have been through much worse situations and survived, and we had all the support of his brothers. Finally it slowed down and now it happens very rarely.
It took a massive amount of self control on my side not to say anything, but it was worth it as he always dealt with the situation in a good way so that no one got hurt, angry or upset.
I found it really strange as it was not a situation i had ever come across in the west. Worst of all, was that is was not done out of love or genuine need for help - it was merely a way to try and control someone else and their life. An unpleasant trait for anyone to have.

~Would you tell him that you don't like the way u're treated by them? or Would you try to suck it up and act cool like nothing's bother you??
at first i'd try to suck it up and give it my all for them to accept me and love me..

~Would you leave him because you can't imagin a life with such horrible people! ? or are you gona stick with him to the end and get married because you're marrying him not his mom! ?
i'll probably leave him..family comes first, and i won't make him choose even if it was me over his family
but if he really wanted me and his family was torturing him as well, i guess we can always live by ourselves..