IntI
18-08-06, 11:22 PM
now my frends read this sum qs answered by doc in very funny now make it more funny imagine dat this doc. iz Dr Hitman :D how funny dat huh
let's live to the fullest...
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is
this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...
don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out
eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;
that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving
it
faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these?
Vegetables. So a steak is nothing
more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your
system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of
field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork
chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of
vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled
wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you
get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of
grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your
ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
Pain...Good !
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting
more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the
best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
had about food and diets.
And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but
rather to skid
in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO,
What a Ride"
let's live to the fullest...
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is
this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...
don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out
eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;
that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving
it
faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these?
Vegetables. So a steak is nothing
more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your
system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of
field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork
chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of
vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled
wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you
get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of
grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your
ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
Pain...Good !
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting
more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the
best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
had about food and diets.
And remember:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but
rather to skid
in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO,
What a Ride"