"People will talk"

[Libellula]

I've encountered many people who are against doing things, not because the thing itself is wrong or sinful, but because people will talk.

For instance, some girls have mothers who won't let them wear something revealing at a women-only wedding (without cameras), just because they think other women will start talking about their daughters in a bad way.

Another example is a girl wanting to go out to a coffee shop with her friends and her parents refusing to give her permission because they are worried people will think she is always out and she doesn't have a proper home to stay in.

Also, a girl whose parents are not particularly religious, but they make her wear a Abaya because if she doesn't wear one, people will have bad ideas about what sort of girl she is.

What do you think of this sort of attitude?

If there was something you wanted to do, but you were aware that tongues would start wagging, would you reconsider doing this thing? Would you stop yourself from doing it, just because you care so much about what people say and think?

[NiGhTFaCe]

The say, you eat the way you want. But, wear the way people want. Though I dont agree with this, so it doesnt matter to me!

[Lym]

I'll do anything as long as it is not wrong, immoral or sinful! People would talk regardless. True that we shouldn't 'give' people things to talk about, hence we should be careful, but if you are convinced that you are not doing anything wrong and people are just gossiping out of boredom and stupidity, then go ahead!

I wouldn't associate myself with such kinds of people anyway; the ones who talk about the most trivial things. So I couldn't care less about these 'conventions'.

[Diva]

I would never not do anything just because "people will talk". Who cares? People have the right to say what they want (within limits, legally I mean). Just as I'm entitled to have an opinion on almost everything I come across, so does everyone else. It really wouldn't bother me at all if people thought negatively of something I did and announced it to the whole world. Everyone's entitled to an opinion; I just don't have to respect all those opinions.

[stigma]

well, in our society things are much different, i dont know why, and i dont are what they say, but having respect to my parents, and not to ruin their name, i would watch my steps, i would do what i want, but i will also be careful, but i do not see why it goes like that.

i admit i sometimes think of ppl's talk, coz its a fact we have to live in, we cant just ignore it and go on doing whatever we want, but at the end, i do what i want to do.

[Paradise Babe]

What do you think of this sort of attitude?

It might sound odd, but am with what parents do to avoid their daughters from doing stuff because "People talk"! well our society is one of the strangest ever.. u do this they talk.. u do that they talk.. u never can satisfy them :cutesob: which is so hard and sad at the same time.

If there was something you wanted to do, but you were aware that tongues would start wagging, would you reconsider doing this thing? Would you stop yourself from doing it, just because you care so much about what people say and think?

Well depends on the thing really.. but mostly i won't do it coz i don't want to gamble with it..
it gets on my nerves when i hear people talking about some other poeples attitudes and they dont see them selfs.. and which makes me mad that they talk about you and spread rumours everywhere!
and when rumours start they never stop.. thats why parents get concerned because they think of their daughters future, and they want them to get married and all.. coz this might spoil their reputation! :cuteanger

[MorphaKnight]

never agreed to it and I have always took a strong stand against it.. It's just one life.. though people may talk and gossip all they want, I always look at it as if they're just a few people whom i'll meet once in a life time and since most gossipers are old folk.. their next trip will be to the ground..

i have too much pride i suppose but I still believe its the right thing because gossiping leads to rumors, suspicion and unwanted ridiculous theories about your life that could tear apart a family which i believe is a fragile thing in a society so close minded like ours..

I'd also like to add that you can't exprience the freedom of privacy or the freedom to do whatever you like.. I believe in freedom of speech but it has to be within limits.. more or less its as if I'm a person chained by my own guidelines and most of the islamic rulings.. however i refuse to be "chained" down by other people's tradition, culture or their own guidelines.. the freedom to do or watch whatever you like without people commenting is indeed wonderful.. i just give my relatives (and other folk) a long stare that i inherited from my dad that just tends to end the discussion :p

[Ichigo]

It is good to keep a good awarness of the level at which ppl will consider smthing bad or good....

it is like respecting the society....

but if that constrict my freedom, in doing smthing not haram......
i just won't care.....

but still emphasizing that u need to keep a good reputation between others.....even if u don't like them... ;)

[BliNd_MelOn]

Im quiet the people pleaser.. But when it comes to things I WANT done..I don't think twice.. Why should I care about him and her?
I only check the thing I want to do from a moral perspective..But thats about it..

I dislike people doing this.. and brainwashing their children into thinking that what people say really matters.. World doesnt revolve around them! They come into your life and are soon to be gone!

Don't get me wrong, but check out this case:

"Girl goes to new school, wears Hijab because the majority does, and to feel more in place.. No one forced her but she didnt want people at school to give her looks or talk behind her back"

Good..She wore Hijab.. But was it for the right reasons?
Libellula,I want to know if this falls under the same category of this thread?

[MsKnuckles]

people would talk one way or the other even if you were completely innoscent...

[Libellula]

I personally couldn't care less about what people think. If I want to do something, I'll do it. I won't think twice about other people's reactions, because as TTT has mentioned, people will always find something to talk about. As long as I know that what I'm doing isn't morally wrong, then I'll go ahead :)

[Valentina]

people would talk one way or the other even if you were completely innoscent...

lol very true.... whether you sit at home... and basically do nothing..people will talk... whether you are out and about poeple will talk... you can't stop it or avoid it.. what you can do... is either sit around and be bumed about it... or just don't give a damn, and go on with your life doing what you want. :hmm: