When parents disagree

[Libellula]

What do you think of a child asking permission to do something, and getting two different answers from his/her parents?

Should parents agree beforehand about how they're going to raise their children?

What if both have conflicting views on something? Is it right for one parent to tell the child to go along and do what they (the parent) think is okay, while keeping it hidden from the other parent?

[NicoBambi]

well i have alots of friends who do that with their parents cause they know that his/her mother will agree with something but not his/her father and vice versa
so if s/he want a favorable answer then s/he will ask to the "good" parent ...
but i think communication between parents (mother-father) is better :shy:

[$w€€ŧ¥]

I believe it takes TWO to have a child and the same to raise one as well!

Ofcourse not every two can agree on everything, they must have different ideas and believes (at the end they are 2 different ppl) but if they are seriously willing to raise children they should learn how to agree on their disagreements for the sake of their children otherwise i do believe that this could have a bad effect on the cihld some how!

Being Parents is not an easy thing at all and any two willing to be one should consider this before making any step!

[Lym]

Conflicting parents = confused off springs! :eh:

I think parents should agree upon the chosen method of raising their kids. If one parent opposes strongly to something, then the other parent should respect and support his/her decision as long as it is nothing drastic and shouldn't do otherwise behind his/her back. Though the best solution would be to compromise between the parents and they should most definitely agree on almost everything, so the kids don't grow up in an unstable environment and receive mixed massages.

[NiGhTFaCe]

When they disagree, it means they want to get rid of the child, at the age of 12, the kid will start saying, my parents say do whatever you want! :p

[Bimzoori]

lol:


well i have alots of friends who do that with their parents cause they know that his/her mother will agree with something but not his/her father and vice versa
so if s/he want a favorable answer then s/he will ask to the "good" parent ...very common scenario here as well...

soo to summarize:

conflicting parents results in opportunistic and:


confused off springs!

The parent that is more strict usually ends up being less favourable by the kids..


Consensus between the parents is important.. its less confusing for the child in the long run, especially when it comes to major decisions in life such as choice of degree, university, marriage, etc.. I believe the situation is even worse when the parents are divorced and are having opposing views on major issues.. how confusing would that be for the child! not only confusing, but also stressing, having to follow the decision of one parent, knowing that it would risk hurting/disobeying the other parent. :os

[BliNd_MelOn]

This creates HUNDREDS of problems between parents!
Parents cant agree before-hand on how to raise their kid.. Nothing is standard..

But..what I know is one parent shouldn't question the other's decision infront of the child.. they could discuss it alone later or leave the room to talk about it.. Other wise,the child will have a rather "distorted image" of whichever parent being put down!

In the case of giving permission. One must always consider the "Hidden Reason" factor..
"Mom" would say "no" to many things..without explaining.."Dad" would be indifferent and would say "yes" in a heart beat! :p Now.. I think "Dad" should've discussed it with her on why she took that decision! She couldve said "no" for the mere purpose of wanting to punish the child for something previously done, not just for saying "no" ..

Enough.. I think Im getting out of track! but you'all get my point,ja!

[Ichigo]

i think that there should be some sort of flexibility and understanding.....
for example if that happen, one of the parents should ask: 'did u tell ur mother/father about that?'. So he/she will make sure that he is not going to disagree with the other...

there should be some sort of sophisticated argument and discussion about such things between the parents.....

[Libellula]

well i have alots of friends who do that with their parents cause they know that his/her mother will agree with something but not his/her father and vice versa
so if s/he want a favorable answer then s/he will ask to the "good" parent ...
but i think communication between parents (mother-father) is better :shy:

You're totally right! I used to do that with my parents. When I wanted something, depending on what it was, I'd go to whichever of my parents who I knew would agree to it. My mother is more lenient when it comes to certain things, more strict when it comes to others, and my father can be the opposite.

What is frustrating though, is when they play the "go ask your other parent" game. You go to your mother and she says, "go ask your father", you go to him, and he says, "go ask your mother" and in the end you feel like a volleyball being tossed from one side of the net to the other.

Sometimes when I'm in that sort of situation, I'd lie to get my way. For instance, I'd ask my mum something and she'd tell me to go ask my dad. I'd just come back to my mother and say, "he said it's okay" then she'll approve of it, and off I go to do what I want :p sneaky.

[Lym]

My parents play that 'volleyball' game when they are sitting together! Imagine. I just alternately turn my head from one side to the other, to ask him, her, him, her, him, her...:eh:

[SoMe1]

My mother was always the one to ask permission from, even if you tired to get to dad he will ask you to ask mum and see what she says and go with it. No discussion there. Worked out fine for us, although we ended up with either:

1. a lot of No’s
2. an interrogation before saying yes.

[ToomuchaT]

.. i think both parents should understand their kid and the age stage s/he is at..

.. they can give different views abt his request but they should also convienve him/er why they r say so and balance it with the kid feelings n stuff..

at the end depends how lucky is the kid to be affected or not by this conflict when s/he grows up!