Oman: Sold by her father as a child!

[X-press]

Real story of a young Omani woman:

I met this 26 years old lady yesterday at the gym, who was asking me workout advises. While talking casually about her weight gain, I asked her if she had any children and she replied to me: "yes, two,... but I divorced 10 years ago".

I am not that bad in math, so I quickly calculated 26 minus 10 which gives 16. Now, being a bit inquisitive, I was wandering how come she was already divorced at such an early age (?) and if she was so young with already two children, how old was she when she had her kids?

So I asked her: "If you were divorced at 16, at what age did you marry?". She replied with a smile: "At 12!..."....hearing that number, I was simply shocked as in my 15 years in Oman I have never met a girl in such situation and obviously wanted to know more of her story.

In brief, she explained that at the age of 12, leaving then in the Interior, she was SOLD by her father to a man three times her age! He was then 36. He obviously had intercourses with her, as the following year she delivered her first child.

Being 12 years old, she did not know at all what to do with a baby and it is her elder sister who helped her. As the time passed, I figured out that things must not have not worked out between this child and 'her husband' as they obviously divorced 4 years later.
My questions are:

1) Do such marriages still exist in the Interior of Oman, or even in the Capital?

2) Is there any law in the country where a man is found guilty of a crime, if he sleeps with a child?

3) Is there any law in the country where a man is found guilty, if for financial gain he sells his child to somone?

3) If a child has her periods by the age of 12, is it acceptable for her grown-up man to have intercourse with her, simply because islamically speaking she is 'ready'?

[Lym]

I think there is a law which determines the minimum age where a girl or a boy could be married. I need to check on that and get back to you but I remember it to be something like 15 for the girl and a bit older for the boy.

[Endure Whisper]

I know a family member who lives in Nizwa and got married before she even reached puberty. Her parents married her off but of course her husband -who's not very old, he's 17 years old- did not make love to her until she turned 13- when she became a woman! I was very shocked, but I know this woman personally and she just seems to lead a happy life!
So I guess there isn't such a rule stating at what age one could get married but what surprises me is that she actually got married before she reached puberty and doesn't it say in Islam that one must be mature and old enough to get married? Or not?!!

[sophis^catrina]

Endure Whisper, I believe that the Prophet (PBUH) was married to Aisha before she became a woman, however it was not consumated until after she became a woman.

I don't think that it is very shocking that a girl of 12 years gets married. Nowadays, it may seem shocking to us since rarely do people get married at the age of 12 years. People have goals to achieve in life before getting married. But in these rural areas it is extremely normal, and in fact also necessary since the life expectancy in under-developed and poor areas is very low and many people would die out of petty diseases such as TB, Malaria, etc and thus die at a very young age. In fact in 1970, there were only two hospitals in Muscat region and few dispensaries distributed in different parts of the country - this can easily tell you that the life expectancy rate was very low, and people HAD to get married very young in order to have children.

As the country got developed and the health and education system greatly improved, therefore the life expectancy got higher, could people afford to get married much later in life - in their late 20s.

Anyway I think that if your body is biologically ready to have children and have sex, then that means you are ready to have sex. Of course, nowadays, our way of thinking is different - that a woman must be educated, she might regret, etc ... but our way of thinking was very different to how they thought, because of our lifestyle.

[Libellula]

Even though it is/was supposed to be a common practice for girls in the interior regions to get married young, it still shocks me when a girl that young is married.

I don't think that anyone is prepared psychologically for marriage at such a young age. Even if she has turned into a 'woman' (biologically speaking), that's not an indicator that she's ready to be married.

I'm not sure if there are any laws to prohibit such a thing but there definitely should be.

[mimosa]

I would agree. Even 18 seems young to me, but I think it's a reasonable limit. 16 at a push. Also she is not yet fully developed physically just because she has started menstruating.

[.:Miss Kitten:.]

the only excuse i make for parents in the interior is that [only SOME] aer unable to financially support the entire family and so marry them off. and most of them hav big families too!... =S its a loop. round n round they go.

[MsKnuckles]

a lot in this story goes against the law :os
first: the act of selling his daughter (if I read that right) was very surprising to me :os

second: I am wondering whether the girl at that age even knew what was going on! :mmhmm: she's a kid. Even if she's ready physically... or biologically as any would say it is not a healthy thing to get pregnant at such an early age... whether it was for the mother or the baby.

third: as I would assume the father obviously did not ask his daughter or get her consentment... therefore breaking the first rule...

so basically it is a kid having a kid... I admit I've heard no law that prevents marriage at a young age over here... but out of common sense one could see the illness in this :os

[IceTea]

I don't think the term 'sold' is right because after all she is his duaghter, and him agreeing to get married to that man doesn't means he sold her.

Beside that this story is 20 years old and now adays people changed. The minimum age of marraige for girls I would say starts from 17 or 18 years old. Mainly after thanawiya.

[stigma]

i'd like to think that it doesnt exist, i used to believe its all lies, but now im leaning abit to suspiciousity, i am not sure if its true or not..

i think maybe if someone tells u i have gone through this this this this, from the way he/she says it, u'll know everything, i have met ppl, who lied about stuff, that is imaginary, but due to their tone, i knew they were lieing, and the only conclusion i got was, they r seeking attention somehow, maybe they were not good ppl in the past, or did something terribly bad, and they got into this paranoid thingy that ppl r going to reject them, so they creat sad stories and refer it to them, and as you sympathise them, you'll like them, and so on.. i have met a few ppl with the same attitude, and i followed them till the end, where they changed, i dont know how to say it in better words, but i think these ppl are mentally sick, except if its true (which most probably i think it isnt) then they should be sympathised :)

[jack]

What is the legal age for marriage in Oman?

I read Bahrain just inacted legal age for marriage.

Male:17
Female:15

And the mullahs are pitching a fit.

[Amjad]

I don't think there is a "legal" age for marriage in Oman! :os .. is there one?

[Jeff]

Jerry Lee Lewis had already gone through two marriages by 1957; he'd married Jane Mitcham, his second, 23 days before his divorce from his first wife, Dorothy Barton, was final. On December 12, 1957, Jerry married his third cousin, Myra Gale Brown. A lot of ink has been spilled about his close blood relationship with Myra, and the fact that she was only thirteen and still believed in Santa Claus when the pair were married.

http://oldies.about.com/od/rockabill1/f/jerryleemyra.htm

http://www.history-of-rock.com/lewismyra.jpg

http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o204/Yerffej_2007/lewisandbride.jpg

Just a year or so ago, a man married his fourteen year old girlfriend in Kansas after he got her pregnant. He was put in jail, not for marrying her, but because he had had sex with her before marriage when she was underage.


Peggy Koso said she decided that, for Crystal and Matt, the best thing to do would be to get married.
Related Stories

Crystal's mother agreed. But in the state of Nebraska it's illegal for a 14-year-old to marry. So the couple drove to Kansas, where girls as young as 12 can wed with parental consent. On May 3, Matt and Crystal became man and wife.

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Health/Story?id=1130379&page=3

ABC's headline asks the question:

"Child Bride or Child Abuse Victim?"

These things are not limited to Oman. And the questions aren't settled yet.

[ti3gib]

The story made it heard because it's something special that doesn't have often. I hope no one considers these our standards.

I think a girl is mentally eligible to decided whether or not she wants to get married as early as 14. Same goes with guys.

I want to marry right now (18) if possible, but it seems that everyone I know is against the idea.

[um_amira]

^ thats so disturbing jeff

[jack]

In the US the legal age varies from state to state.

Almost all are 18 without parental consent.

With parental consent it can range from 14 -17 depending on the state.

http://usmarriagelaws.com/search/united_states/teen_marriage_laws/index.shtml

[Superbia]

I don't believe that there's a spacific age to marriage :os How does one's age effect their relationship?

Personally, if I know he's the one and I have nothing stopping me to be with him legally then i'd go for it without second thoughts, regardless of the age issue.

[Jeff]

But that is VERY recent, Jack.

My point is just that this issue still ferments and it is still possible for little girls to marry grown men.

In some Mormon communities in the West, ten and eleven year olds are regularly marrying grown men even today.

[jack]

But that is VERY recent, Jack.

My point is just that this issue still ferments and it is still possible for little girls to marry grown men.

In some Mormon communities in the West, ten and eleven year olds are regularly marrying grown men even today.And those men should be prosecuted which one high profile case was recently. No doubt there are others as you say.

And that is part of my point.

[Superbia]

I think a girl is mentally eligible to decided whether or not she wants to get married as early as 14. Same goes with guys.

I want to marry right now (18) if possible, but it seems that everyone I know is against the idea.

Your one of the very few out there whom think in that manner.

[Jeff]

And those men should be prosecuted which one high profile case was recently. No doubt there are others as you say.

And that is part of my point.

Okay.

And my response was for two purposes.

One, to show it's not just an Omani or even a Muslim thing. Throughout Western history, child brides have been a normal part of society. To get married at age twelve was on the young side, but hardly unheard of. When Jerry Lee Lewis got married, Mississippi law allowed you to marry an eleven year old without permission of the parents.

Two, now a consensus is forming and many people feel as you do: Prosecute 'em! I'm terribly uncomfortable with child marriage myself. But I'd hate to say that millions of my forbears and yours were absolute moral reprobates. You can say it if you want. But I ain't gonna. And I'm not going to try to prove that we are oh so much wiser than they were. I have my doubts.

So, I'll go along with the consensus on this one insofar as it says, "It's better to wait". But when it comes to Mormons (or Muslims) doing what everyone accepted as normal a hundred years ago, I won't ride the high horse. I'll let you do that.

[jack]

In your vigor to jump and defend ... all things :rolleyes:

Now I asked if Oman has a minimum legal age for marriage. I asked that because of the new Bahrain law where the mullahs are having a fit because it does not conform to the Quran.

That age would be 15 for a woman or girl. I personally find that reasonable.

The mullahs don't. I take no moral high ground. Islam does though on this and all issues.

This thread seemed a good place to ask.

[Pygmalion]

I do not think there is any regulation on a minimum age for marriage.

In Oman, usually no law is enacted to constrain an ongoing tradition before that (wrong/bad/unfavorable) tradition becomes common enough to regulate.
The too-early marriage is not common in Oman; to me the last I recall was in 1998 when an 18 yo boy got married to a 14 yo girl.

In UAE, there is no regulation on the minimum age but there is one on the difference in age between the wife and the husband which I think not to exceed 20 years.

[Jeff]

In your vigor to jump and defend ... all things :rolleyes:

Now I asked if Oman has a minimum legal age for marriage. I asked that because of the new Bahrain law where the mullahs are having a fit because it does not conform to the Quran.

That age would be 15 for a woman or girl. I personally find that reasonable.

The mullahs don't. I take no moral high ground. Islam does though on this and all issues.

This thread seemed a good place to ask.

Fair enough! I overreacted.

I'll hand you that one. Jeff wrong. Jack right.