View Full Version : Men: Are you that insecure and weak?
sophis^catrina
23-07-05, 04:52 PM
Insecurity.
We've heard of our friend who we thought was so happy in her relationship, till later she tells us the truth: that she was repeatedly abused. Women have been beaten, who have been abused sexually and emotionally to believe that they are worthless. Who are reminded daily that they are there to serve their bfs/husbands when he wants them, but they are worth nothing.
We've heard of our friend who thought she was so happy in her relationship, to find out later that he had several other gfs on the side and that she was merely one of them. To find out later, that he was in fact already married. Or that they were married for several years, and yet he could not respect her and the marriage, and was sleeping around. She ends up feeling worthless.
Men like these have always fascinated me. Are they that insecure with themselves that they thrive in hurting someone else? Are they that insecure and weak that the only way they feel good abt themselves is to make others feel weak and bad abt themselves? Are there any real men who are confident abt themselves?
GirL NexT DooR
23-07-05, 06:59 PM
Are they?! :think:
Hmmmm..that's a good question.
I wouldn't generalize to be honest..cause there are also insecure women who drive their men crazy and probably even abuse them if not physically then verbally and emotionally. But I do agree that a man who hits his wife is just simply weak and has no control at all over his temper which is bascially part of the weakness.
Regarding men who cheat? well god knows what makes a person want to cheat on his wife IF she's good to him and all that , I personally never really understood that even though I am a man which goes on to answer that YES there are real men out there whom are confident about themselves. *tries to look at himself through a tin foil thats on his desk* , dammit where's the mirror.
lol j/k
MsKnuckles
23-07-05, 09:08 PM
loOol... nice one
Sophy: that happened to a friend??......... shucks! ... that idiot! :bored: not ur friend... the guy.
That's why one should choose swiftly... true not all men are like that... let's just say... if she has no kids. She's fortunate enough to leave and never see the likes of him again... if not... she aint too lucky :mmhmm:
but a guy like that should be ashamed of himself!! ... there's nothing manly in that! One who tries to make others worthless has that problem himself...
You have to endure the consquences of your choice. Just tell your friends to be careful next time.
DeSerTDesTroYeR
24-07-05, 02:22 AM
Are they that insecure with themselves that they thrive in hurting someone else? Are they that insecure and weak that the only way they feel good abt themselves is to make others feel weak and bad abt themselves? Are there any real men who are confident abt themselves?
There is one simple answer to all your questions, YES...
sophis^catrina
24-07-05, 02:44 AM
I wouldn't generalize to be honest ...
But seriously, from what happens it's like too many, way too many women are made to feel as though they are worthless.
For instance, I was reading the paper a few months ago and it was so sick abt the Beckham court battle against the nanny. Abt Victoria Beckham and how much David treats her like trash. Always threatening and insulting her, that she got so scared that he would leave her. It got to the extent that she would only eat celery sticks, coz she was so scared that he would go for someone more good looking and thinner (and he did cheat on her). LOL who would have thought that her husband was the reason she starved herself.
Also when she was pregnant with the last baby, he was cussing her and cheating on her.
I mean, even the lady who was part of such a famous band and is great at fashion, and should be proud of so much; is made to feel so worthless coz of her husband; suffering from a cheating, lying, abusive husband.
And the husband; Mr. Mega rich and handsome, is that insecure and treats wife like trash.
It's depressing.
Blessed
24-07-05, 02:57 AM
I think lots of women love to think that all men are scum just to satisfy their fantasy that there is one guy out there that will save them from this evil-consumed world.
sophis^catrina
24-07-05, 03:03 AM
I think lots of women love to think that all men are scum just to satisfy their fantasy that there is one guy out there that will save them from this evil-consumed world.
Not really. We hear abt these men who are very close to our friends and family everyday. It gets to the extent of being too depressing.
Maybe you don't hear abt it Blessed, coz you are such a sweet guy who only mixes with guys and does not realise that majority of guys are actually that insecure. Or maybe you think it's normal for a guy to play with many girls, or for a guy to abuse his wife and not appreciate her.
Blessed
24-07-05, 03:26 AM
I do hear 'em, and the stories disgust me too, but they never get me to go on thinking all (or most) men are like that.
I also hear lots of stories about women who always make their men feel like they are worthless. That never led me to believe that all or most women are evil.
MsKnuckles
24-07-05, 01:04 PM
You have to endure the consquences of your choice. Just tell your friends to be careful next time.
lol, fais... next time? if you're supposed to endure the consequences there won't be a next time ;)...
Sophy and blessed:... let's look at the matter in a clearer way... it depends on what type of people you are talking about... if u are talking about people in the GCC countries... then the majority of players are men since the girls don't have as much freedom, frankly speaking. But if you're talking about the world outside, there's a chance it could be the opposite... or the scale could be stable... make sense?
cLueLess
24-07-05, 01:25 PM
if u are talking about people in the GCC countries... then the majority of players are men since the girls don't have as much freedom, frankly speaking. But if you're talking about the world outside, there's a chance it could be the opposite... or the scale could be stable... make sense?
I don't think it has anything to do with where you come from Tee, but rather who you are. Western books and movies sometimes indicate that women are abused by their husbands/boyfriends. Books and movies only reflect what society is like in reality. However, the difference is that you can report and sue the person who abuses you over there, while most women would rather keep quiet in our part of the world. :(
MsKnuckles
24-07-05, 01:51 PM
while most women would rather keep quiet in our part of the world. :(
that's what I'm talking about... it's cuz they were brought up that way... and most of these woman are in the GCC... what I meant by type is the society and what it's like... not the individual
Blessed
24-07-05, 03:38 PM
So now the parents are to blame because they raised the girls to be submissive? Interesting.
Men are also comfortable in the knowledge that their wives will find it very difficult to leave them, and not just for social reasons: I heard about one lady whose drunk of a husband used to beat her. The first two times the judge told her to go back to him and give him a chance. Only the third time when he kept beating her and put her in hospital did the judge give her a divorce. He actually said she would be FORCED to go back to the guy who beat her, or go to jail!
How sick is that? Why can't women divorce by choice like men? And even if they are not allowed that, how many times is it acceptable to beat hell out of your wife?!
Pineapple Thief
24-07-05, 05:53 PM
how many times is it acceptable to beat hell out of your wife?!
Not even once.
MsKnuckles
24-07-05, 05:56 PM
So now the parents are to blame because they raised the girls to be submissive? Interesting.
why blame? ... isn't it a good thing not to play around? ... I wouldn't blame parents for raising their daughters, quite the contrary... u didn't get the point :rolleyes:
btw, I do second mimo there.... is there a real reason why women can't divorce??? I don't want to hear crap as in: cuz they have moodswings and bla bla...
WHY aren't they allowed to divorce, and give a reasonable answer please....
Blessed
25-07-05, 06:08 AM
while most women would rather keep quiet in our part of the world. :(it's cuz they were brought up that way
And people are (ususally) brought up by their parents, so which point didn't I get? Plus I didn't get the part about not playing around.
CrazyReD
25-07-05, 06:33 AM
Why can't women divorce by choice like men?
who says they can't?
Mimosa.. You base an argument over “I heard of”!? Come on now, plus just like crazy said there are laws in Islam that guarantee’s women right wanting divorce. It is not as random as some Law & order fans would love them to be, but they nevertheless exist and do the job from a system's point of view.
MsKnuckles
25-07-05, 10:51 AM
blessed: ... actually no.. it's not just the parents... what I meant by brought up was that the women were brought up in a society where they have strict limitations and allowanced... and I don't want to hear :that's not true... cuz i know it is.... and over all... my point of saying that was cuz it's harder for a woman in this society to play around like men who have more freedom... as simple as that... get it?
so really I dunno what being submissive has got to do with anything
CrazyReD
25-07-05, 11:41 AM
blessed: ... actually no.. it's not just the parents... what I meant by brought up was that the women were brought up in a society where they have strict limitations and allowanced... and I don't want to hear :that's not true... cuz i know it is.... and over all... my point of saying that was cuz it's harder for a woman in this society to play around like men who have more freedom... as simple as that... get it?
so really I dunno what being submissive has got to do with anything
how do you define "strict limitations and allowanced"??
MsKnuckles
25-07-05, 01:13 PM
as in they're not as free as men are... what they do is limited... and in all the GCC countries that is well clear and obvious...
any objections? :)
yeah! stop asking for special rights!
lets start from jobs : female ministers (yes), doctors (yes), engineers (yes), female scaffolders (well the job is vacant if any girl feels like it is her right to do it)
driving (yes) , voting (yes), smoking sheesha (yes), smoking weed (possible), drug dealing also possible. Scholars (yes) female hosts (t2brny yes) .
am I missing something boys?
what else do you need TT?
MsKnuckles
25-07-05, 02:41 PM
: :Shock: :..... looooool!! .... YESS!!! any woman can do that behind her parent's backs... then she'll be in deep trouble!!! While a man is left to his own... ASIDE from that...
have I been misunderstood?? WTEVER we're allowed to do Raed!! my point was men have more freedom as a whole... (full stop!)... I'm not complaining... just sayin what's going on... not insulting... just explaining the situation... not offending... just describing!!!!!
sophis^catrina
25-07-05, 02:50 PM
Excuse me guys, but what does this thread have to with GCC women rights? I even gave an example of a Western woman, who had all the women rights.
Stop deviating the topic talking abt women's rights. That's the silliest way to argue and show that men are confident, by changing the topic. Off topics will be deleted.
The topic is on how insecure and weak men are. :cute:
They do not TT , and sorry SC ! we would not like to ruin your thread now would we TT?
Anyways.. with the thread starter cussing , and giving red reps. I guess I ‘d better leave before I receive a warning! lol
sophis^catrina
25-07-05, 03:15 PM
I am very glad that you got the point Raed that we have a social sabla for the discussion of women's rights. This thread is abt the relationship between men and women (hence relationship sabla). That's why I don't really appreciate it when the topic is totally deviated from men's insecurity to women rights.
You're very welcome to continue the on-topic discussion on "Men: Are you that insecure and weak?"
:)
interesting, how it changed from what the F*** is wrong with you guys? to:
Excuse me guys, but what does this thread have to with GCC women rights? I even gave an example of a Western woman, who had all the women rights.
Stop deviating the topic talking abt women's rights. That's the silliest way to argue and show that men are confident, by changing the topic. Off topics will be deleted.
The topic is on how insecure and weak men are.
Last edited by sophis^catrina : Today at 03:02 PM.
but i guess I will have to discuss it at another thread!
ciao
sophis^catrina
25-07-05, 03:54 PM
Actually Raed it was:~
Excuse me guys, but what the f*ck does this thread have to with women rights? I even gave an example of a Western woman, who had all the women rights.
Stop deviating the topic talking abt women's rights. That's the silliest way to argue and show that men are confident, by changing the topic. Off topics will be deleted.
The topic is on how insecure and weak men are.
Unlike you, I remember exactly what I said. All I did was edit out the swear word, because I thought that perhaps some will be offended by it. Do I not have the right like every other member to edit my own post if I find something unsuitable?
sophis^catrina
25-07-05, 04:45 PM
Men are also comfortable in the knowledge that their wives will find it very difficult to leave them, and not just for social reasons: I heard about one lady whose drunk of a husband used to beat her. The first two times the judge told her to go back to him and give him a chance. Only the third time when he kept beating her and put her in hospital did the judge give her a divorce. He actually said she would be FORCED to go back to the guy who beat her, or go to jail!
How sick is that? Why can't women divorce by choice like men? And even if they are not allowed that, how many times is it acceptable to beat hell out of your wife?!
I think that Mimosa raised a very important issue here. That it is extremely worrying when people in positions of responsibility actually aid these insecure men.
In fact, esp in our societies, when people do tell women to shut up and stick to their husbands, while suffering silently. People and society aiding these insecure men indirectly.
As Clueless and TrippleTee were discussing, are Gulf men therefore much more insecure and weak than other men? Or is it because they know that they get away with being horrible, that this weakness doubles?
Blessed
25-07-05, 04:54 PM
Sophy I'm sick of your generalizations. Me outta here.
sophis^catrina
25-07-05, 05:02 PM
^^^ LOL :p , I didn't bring up the gulf men thing. Look back at page one. :cool: We're just analysing and figuring out how do the majority of men think? And why are so many insecure? :cute:
MsKnuckles
25-07-05, 05:10 PM
Bullseye sophy!!! well said.. brilliant!... exactly to the point!!! :)
sophis^catrina
25-07-05, 05:28 PM
Sophy I'm sick of your generalizations.
Actually, your statement reminds me of a foreigner (guy) who told me not to bother with marrying a gulf man, coz they are insecure.
So you see, it's not just women's talk, but a foreign man who told me the same thing from his observations living in the gulf.
:flower:
MsKnuckles
25-07-05, 05:31 PM
oo... *spotlights on sophy!* (music).... :p
CrazyReD
26-07-05, 03:04 AM
as in they're not as free as men are... what they do is limited... and in all the GCC countries that is well clear and obvious...
any objections? :)
did i say i objected I just wanted you to clarify more like with examples
is that much clear now? :cute:
CrazyReD
26-07-05, 03:07 AM
well since we arn't allowed to give examples of a women
I dunno about blessed but I think you are generalizing you said men not some men or most men you said men which implies all men.
I guess to know the best answer would be to talk to that man who did what he did
fatamooo
26-07-05, 03:41 AM
Aside from the fact that a lot of people think this is a generalisation...
(Don't attack me for sayin this, it's just a theory!!!)
Women cheat, but they do this a lot less than men, and for different reasons. Women cheat if theyre not feeling satisfied in some way.
Men cheat sometimes even if they are satisfied, and I think it's just the idea that they have more than one woman. I mean, isn't that why polygamy is halal in Islam? So that men can satisfy their need to have more than one woman without doing anything illegal? And before that, men used to have 20 or even 30 wives!!!
CrazyReD
26-07-05, 03:44 AM
fatamooo u missed the point of this thread it's taboo to talk about women just men
fatamooo
26-07-05, 03:46 AM
Heheh well, just tryin to be fair here... I mean if women want equality, we should accept our faults, just like we want men to accept their faults.
Pimpette!
26-07-05, 07:50 AM
Men hitting their wives is just sad.
Spanking is another thing... hmmm..
sophis^catrina
26-07-05, 05:44 PM
Heheh well, just tryin to be fair here... I mean if women want equality, we should accept our faults, just like we want men to accept their faults.
Then start a new thread abt it talking abt how evil women are! :6:
This thread is strictly on men. :cool:
sophis^catrina
26-07-05, 05:54 PM
Heheh well, just tryin to be fair here... I mean if women want equality, we should accept our faults, just like we want men to accept their faults.
Oh and fatamoo, majority (over 70%) of men cheat on their wives. So if la samaha allah your husband cheats on you or marries someone else, you'll accept him for he is, stick by him while he is screwing around, coz he is a man ;) .
MsKnuckles
26-07-05, 07:02 PM
encore encore!!! three thumbs up for sophy!!
this is like playing that rope game...... keep the rope steady people... don't convert :mmhmm:
fatamooo
26-07-05, 07:27 PM
Lol @sophis!
I was hoping you guys would pay attention to the main part of my post, which is my idea of why men cheat. I merely brought up the subject of women's cheating for reasons of comparison. Women cheat because they're insecure, men cheat cause it makes them feel like men.
And as to the part about accepting faults, I meant that as in, I was expecting some of the male members to come in and say how unfair it is that we're generalizing, so that was directed towards them. And if they do admit to that, then maybe they can work towards fixing it!
sophis^catrina
26-07-05, 11:02 PM
L Women cheat because they're insecure, men cheat cause it makes them feel like men.
:p
Which means that he is insecure abt his manhood if he does not cheat?
MsKnuckles
26-07-05, 11:11 PM
good point actually... do u have to cheat to feel like a man?? Many seem to think that actually... they think overpowering a woman is the only thing that would make them manly... respecting them would degrade them... and I'm not kiddin...
fatamooo
27-07-05, 02:02 AM
Hmmm I didn't think of it like that - but still the reasons for men and women are definitely not the same..
sophis^catrina
27-07-05, 02:08 AM
Hmmm I didn't think of it like that - but still the reasons for men and women are definitely not the same..
I think that what you mean is that some men are insecure when it comes to themselves, and need to prove their manhood by sleeping around and therefore gain confidence. While women who are insecure when it comes to the relationship itself, and do not feel safe and satisfied, will cheat to gain satisfaction and intimacy.
For example, a man is insecure abt himself and needs to prove his manhood, will have plenty of gfs. This way he is neglecting his wife, and makes her insecure abt their relationship, in which she will look elsewhere to be satisfied.
Also when it comes to cheating, normally when men are not satisfied sexually, they cheat. While for women, if they are not satisfied emotionally, that's when they cheat.
MsKnuckles
27-07-05, 02:11 AM
this thread is about men I believe... no one's sayin women don't cheat... but the point was that the majority is men over here... some men don't though... but I believe we're talkin about those who do... basically no one's expecting a man to come here and admit he's a cheater...:mmhmm:... but I believe the whole point was for those who do it... what do you think is the reason?
as simple as that... no need to bring in women into this... the question was directed to men...
Pineapple Thief
27-07-05, 02:14 AM
(actually from what people I know tell me, it seems a LOT of women/girls here cheat as well...)
sophis^catrina
27-07-05, 02:17 AM
what do you think is the reason?
1- Insecurity! They can't live without many women :os , they are not confident enough!
2- They can get away with it! As Mimosa said, many women here are very reluctant to leave cheating husbands, unless they don't mind being a divorcee and having a court battle. Plus also a lot of them prefer having a cheating husband than being single. :(
PT, the women have lost hope, and start another thread when it comes to women. Let's concentrate on men here. :cool:
MsKnuckles
27-07-05, 02:17 AM
(actually from what people I know tell me, it seems a LOT of women/girls here cheat as well...)
you claim to say they cheat more than men?...
MsKnuckles
27-07-05, 02:20 AM
1- Insecurity! They can't live without many women , they are not confident enough!
2- They can get away with it! As Mimosa said, many women here are very reluctant to leave cheating husbands, unless they don't mind being a divorcee and having a court battle. Plus also a lot of them prefer having a cheating husband than being single.
precisely!! yes! ... those reasons are strong enough... good points...
Pineapple Thief
27-07-05, 02:20 AM
Possibly. Sophy's ridiculous claim of 70% just doesnt hold.
Possibly not. The experiences of people i know come from girlfriend boyfriend situations. Not marriage.
sophis^catrina
27-07-05, 02:34 AM
Possibly. Sophy's ridiculous claim of 70% just doesnt hold.
It's not ridiculous, I read that in a psychology book. Also my cousin's father was talking to her the other day and told her not to expect a great marriage, coz he believed that over 95% of men cheat at least once. He was like, he was a special case, coz there was a huge age gap between him and his wife, so she's very young in his eyes mashallah. :love:
Apparently, he told us, that when girls are choosing husbands they should choose a man much older than them, coz then they are very young and beautiful for a very long time in the man's eyes and age less quickly, leading to less likely for the man to cheat on her.
CrazyReD
27-07-05, 02:49 AM
just a q
are u and 3t telling me you won't marry a man?
sophis^catrina
27-07-05, 02:57 AM
just a q
are u and 3t telling me you won't marry a man?
A very confident man. ;) Preferably one who is much older than me, that he has enough confidence in himself and has no need to prove anything, and also that he always sees me forever cute, young and beautiful :love: .
CrazyReD
27-07-05, 03:05 AM
how would you find out how confident he is?
In one post you mentioned that that man was insecure about his organs
sophis^catrina
27-07-05, 03:08 AM
I didn't get you?
What I meant is the older the guy is (and greater age gap), the more mature is and therefore confident abt himself.
CrazyReD
27-07-05, 07:23 AM
How'd you get that theory?
In the begining of the thread you said that Men are Insecure and "you asked Are there any real men who are confident abt themselves?"
but now you answered that Q yuppie problem solved :afro::afro::hbd:
sophis^catrina
27-07-05, 12:29 PM
I said there more confident he is with himself. That does not mean that he is not insecure.
MsKnuckles
27-07-05, 12:36 PM
just a q
are u and 3t telling me you won't marry a man?
nope, just stating facts my friend... about ourselves I'm sure we have our own ways of spotting decent guys :)...
Pineapple Thief
27-07-05, 03:25 PM
I didn't get you?
What I meant is the older the guy is (and greater age gap), the more mature is and therefore confident abt himself.
Sorry Sophy, it just doesnt hold.
Heres something very common, very obvious, that you're missing. When a man starts to see himself getting old, and his wife still young, he starts to see himself as being old, and is afraid she will see him as being old. And that she will cheat. Aside from the fact that it probably will make her cheat, it makes him insecure...and less confident about himself ;)
MsKnuckles
27-07-05, 03:27 PM
ok.... HOW much age difference are we talking about... 10, 20 ??
Sorry Sophy, it just doesnt hold.
Heres something very common, very obvious, that you're missing. When a man starts to see himself getting old, and his wife still young, he starts to see himself as being old, and is afraid she will see him as being old. And that she will cheat. Aside from the fact that it probably will make her cheat, it makes him insecure...and less confident about himself ;)
I don't think a good wife will cheat, in fact she will feel secure with a mature and wise husband ;).
sophis^catrina
27-07-05, 07:21 PM
ok.... HOW much age difference are we talking about... 10, 20 ??
5+ years. Ideally 7-15 years, after all no girls wants an old man!
sophis^catrina
27-07-05, 07:26 PM
Sorry Sophy, it just doesnt hold.
Heres something very common, very obvious, that you're missing. When a man starts to see himself getting old, and his wife still young, he starts to see himself as being old, and is afraid she will see him as being old. And that she will cheat. Aside from the fact that it probably will make her cheat, it makes him insecure...and less confident about himself ;)
Not at all. Women and men look for different things. Men look for beauty and young women. Women look for people who can offer them security, who are of social status, plus having someone much older can also be your teacher, advisor, which makes the woman respect him more.
I mean seriously can't you see in society how women normally hit on those men who have money and a very good job, they don't go for young guys who are just starting life. :p While men go for younger and prettier women.
5+ years. Ideally 7-15 years, after all no girls wants an old man!
I think some girls who missed the train and about to become spinsters won't mind marrying old men, or if the girl is looking for money she will agree to marry a rich old man, do you agree?
CrazyReD
28-07-05, 12:12 AM
man this thread is wierd Raed was right i'm out of here if stating one's opinion gonna result in childish acts it's not worth it
good luck to all the women here finding a confident man
and vice versa for the men me out
sophis^catrina
28-07-05, 01:59 AM
I think some girls who missed the train and about to become spinsters won't mind marrying old men, or if the girl is looking for money she will agree to marry a rich old man, do you agree?
Yeah, but that's beside the point Icey. We're talking men and insecurity. :p
In fact, I'd love if you would comment on what Mimosa said here:
Men are also comfortable in the knowledge that their wives will find it very difficult to leave them, and not just for social reasons: I heard about one lady whose drunk of a husband used to beat her. The first two times the judge told her to go back to him and give him a chance. Only the third time when he kept beating her and put her in hospital did the judge give her a divorce. He actually said she would be FORCED to go back to the guy who beat her, or go to jail!
What do you think? :think:
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.1.10 Copyright © 2012 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.