Hello,

Direct questions needs to be found a solution for!


- How can you control a bad temper of a child?

- How can you try to help that child not to get affected with the bad temper and carry it with him/her when they grow up?

Every one is welcome to share their solutions in here, but it would be a better view if it came from a doctor!

Thank you.

When my little sister didn't get what she wanted, she threw herself on the floor and hit it with her fists..but after a while, we got used to it, so we started ignoring her. Eventually, she stopped and thought better of it..and now she's an angel! :angel:

Maybe kids need to be ignored and given less attention at times, in order to lose that behaviour.

Maybe they should take an 'Anger Management' course! :p

I agree with GND - let the child get it out of their system... if you try to shut them up and keep them still, they'll have all of this pent up energy and anger, which is gonna be worse in the long term. Then, later on, when they're calmer, try to explain things to them more calmly. Most importantly, let the child say why they're upset.

my little bro used to hit his head on the floor :bored: if he didnt get what he want!!
and he used to do that coz everyone was like aaaah give him give him he will kill his self with that! so my dad was like let him do that and donna EVER give him what he wants if he did that soo he got bored of it and we told him its not the end of the world of u didnt get what do u want and u cant get it in a nice way!!!

so thats it let the kid feel that if he tried to do bad things to his self or to others to get what he want he wont get it ever and if he tried to be nice and do good things we weill get whatever he/she want :)

How can you control a bad temper of a child?
By ignoring him! coz kids when they start being naughty and stuff they want all the attention foucsed on them.. they start shouting loudly, hitting them selfs and breaking stuff! best thing to ignore the kid and than he will realize by being nice he can be getting anything he want! mostly spoilt kids by there parents are always the kids who have bad tempers! :mmhmm:

Sallam,

thank you dears for ur replies...


But as all of you had agreed on the ignoring part!

then i shall say that the ignoring part does not work all the time.......

Bad temper can vary from a child to another..........

The one that i am talking about used to do the same as what you all mentioned above, as hitting and breaking stuff.....etc

But at this stage he is being tempered in a way of speaking loud, reply back, you could see his face nearly to explode, you could see all the nervouse are shown........Crying loud, continue with what he was doing ignoring your request for him to stop!

:mmhmm:

Well it takes a long time to help that child overcome their bad tempers. There's a methodical way to solve that, and here's a website www.essortment.com/in/Children.Development . I heard ignoring children and locking them up in a room until they start calming down is one good way to start. Though I am not sure how true and healthy that is.

Well it takes a long time to help that child overcome their bad tempers. There's a methodical way to solve that, and here's a website www.essortment.com/in/Children.Development . I heard ignoring children and locking them up in a room until they start calming down is one good way to start. Though I am not sure how true and healthy that is.


sallam dear,

thank u 4 ur informationnn...

the truth i disagree in the matter of ingoring...
because when they do things they tend to catch ue attention and by ignoring them while they are doing that act, they will feel that they r not catching much of ur attention....

some might take it as it a sign for them to stoppp but some might take it even further to cause more troubles just to get what they want.....

Interesting questions Solafa :)

- How can you control a bad temper of a child?
Stay away until they want something then .. talk them out of it, or else try.

- How can you try to help that child not to get affected with the bad temper and carry it with him/her when they grow up?
Talk the bad temper out of them, tell them that its bad etc. tell them Mojo Jojo or any other villian will come take them.

Interesting questions Solafa :)

- How can you control a bad temper of a child?
Stay away until they want something then .. talk them out of it, or else try.

- How can you try to help that child not to get affected with the bad temper and carry it with him/her when they grow up?
Talk the bad temper out of them, tell them that its bad etc. tell them Mojo Jojo or any other villian will come take them.


sallam, thank u 4 replying :)

*how can u stay away from them?

*Lool u made me smile with your mojo jojo thing,,,,,, but remembers these days or generation kids do not understand the mojo jojo thing......

so u will nead to think about it seriously, before they turn you to mjojo jojo kojo thing:p

Just dont get in their way...

Well, about this generation i have noticed that they obey who they fear only

Just dont get in their way...

Well, about this generation i have noticed that they obey who they fear only


hi,

how r u helping them in not to go further in their bad temper and bad action if u r not going to try to stop it or at least control it?

They do obey whom they fear, thats true.... but there is always a limit to such fearnesssss.....


they will get to a stage they wills top fearing adn it might even turn to an aganist act towards the person that they used to fear!

....there's always spacetoon and SOUQ

....there's always spacetoon and SOUQ


lool 3alik.....

so would u want them to get addicted to cartoooons channels on the account to keep them quiet?>!!!!!!!

What use u would have done to them........................ ZERO %

There is a good program shown on Sama Dubai channel..i am not sure if it is shown everyday but i saw it last week twice at 8-9 pm Oman's time.. it shows how you can deal with children ...very useful..just try to watch it once..

Solafa, when you train dogs..At first you give them a treat each time they do as you say, then you decrease the treat until you no longer give them a treat.

Solafa, when you train dogs..At first you give them a treat each time they do as you say, then you decrease the treat until you no longer give them a treat.

Lol.. these are humans ...

And are kids in the end, mind capacity is less than grown ups

sallam,

loool, at u 2:)


Rev. thank u for informing about the programme, but unfortunatly, i am not in oman, am in the UK..... plus i dont have dish or and sort of sky or cable connection to view arabic channels!

but thank u....


=============

Ross. u can not treat kids as the same as when u treat animals or dogs....


plus kids are more sensitive than adults or grown ups.....


so to treat them u need to be reasonable....... but HOW is the queston! :think:

What I meant is the same as what I am about to say Solafa..

When you get 10/10, doesnt your teacher give you a treat? (when you were a kid?)

Ok then, as you grow up from grade 1 to 4, dont you feel the treat is decreasing in its value? Thats what I meant

Create something called the -naughty mat- where by if a child disobeys you , s/he is forced to sit on the naugty mat until the child is ready to apologise. I think you do this after you warn them twice... if the child still does it then -Welcome Naughty mat-.
Whe you are warning your child , you should talk to them as adults , the only thing you change is your tone which is suppose to be authorative but low and firm.
Praise them for the good just as much as you scold them for the bad.
Involve them in activities that you carry out to expose them with the attention they need. (Basically , create time for them only , so they don't have to throw tantrums to grab your attention)
uhm , what else can I remember... nothing ..lol

These are tips for the British Hit Series - The Nanny. ( I am not talking about the sitcom , lol ) But her methods were very effective and the children became hassle-free within a few days. :)

How about this, my nephew has this bad temper thing and he is only a year and 7 months old..He just says Kalll(kalb - dog) or mara(7mara-donkey)..and hits us..whenever he doesnt want us to pick him up he hits us..

(am so sorry i taught him these words!!)Bad uncle..

Well fear does seem to work really well, I used to tell my little cousin that the girl from the exorcist will come for him if he doesn't behave, that used to get him to calm down pretty quickly, although a few weeks later he found out the movies aren't true and went back to his old habits, so I tried using the exorcist trick on him but that only got him to tell me to shut the f*** up...well you can all guess what I did to him then.

How about this, my nephew has this bad temper thing and he is only a year and 7 months old..He just says Kalll(kalb - dog) or mara(7mara-donkey)..and hits us..whenever he doesnt want us to pick him up he hits us..

(am so sorry i taught him these words!!)Bad uncle..


Lol.. this needs special treatment maybe... but ur mistake to teach him..u the naughty one now j/k...

What I meant is the same as what I am about to say Solafa..

When you get 10/10, doesnt your teacher give you a treat? (when you were a kid?)

Ok then, as you grow up from grade 1 to 4, dont you feel the treat is decreasing in its value? Thats what I meant

hello,


ok i get what u want to say.......

But the thing is, it is always different when it comes to deal with kids!!!!

Sometimes treats are not the complete thing that u can give to a child to feel that u are motiviating themmmm.


Yet to set a punsih corner is not always helping to make them understand that they are punsihed.......

Create something called the -naughty mat- where by if a child disobeys you , s/he is forced to sit on the naugty mat until the child is ready to apologise. I think you do this after you warn them twice... if the child still does it then -Welcome Naughty mat-.
Whe you are warning your child , you should talk to them as adults , the only thing you change is your tone which is suppose to be authorative but low and firm.
Praise them for the good just as much as you scold them for the bad.
Involve them in activities that you carry out to expose them with the attention they need. (Basically , create time for them only , so they don't have to throw tantrums to grab your attention)
uhm , what else can I remember... nothing ..lol

These are tips for the British Hit Series - The Nanny. ( I am not talking about the sitcom , lol ) But her methods were very effective and the children became hassle-free within a few days. :)


sallam dear,


I know which programme u r talking about , i have followed few episodes......

hmmmm, but not all the strategy or ways or methods suits all sort of children.......

Thank u though for reminding me with this programme...

did u know that it is starting again on 17thAugust05/Wednesday night/ at 9pm(UK time)#

How about this, my nephew has this bad temper thing and he is only a year and 7 months old..He just says Kalll(kalb - dog) or mara(7mara-donkey)..and hits us..whenever he doesnt want us to pick him up he hits us..

(am so sorry i taught him these words!!)Bad uncle..

hi,

loool 3alik what a bad uncle u are! :os


If i ever hear a kids saying them words, i will give them a devil look, for them not to repeat it........

and i will ask them not to do that, but if they repeated it many times and though aware of me asking them not to do that, then they will only face a punishment from me.....

Well fear does seem to work really well, I used to tell my little cousin that the girl from the exorcist will come for him if he doesn't behave, that used to get him to calm down pretty quickly, although a few weeks later he found out the movies aren't true and went back to his old habits, so I tried using the exorcist trick on him but that only got him to tell me to shut the f*** up...well you can all guess what I did to him then.


hi,



hmmmmm :mmhmm:

Now this proves what i was talking about fear system, it does not work all the time!

But I don't live with the little runt, fear works fine for a few hours and that is all I need, he grows out of one (horror) I unleash another fictional character upon his imagination.

I guess us Mexicans have a very different way of dealing with our children. Ignoring a tantrum is ok when they are 2 and 3 years old. But some children began to use a temper to get their ways. Especially in a store where they think you will won't discipline them. My son is 4 years old and he's tried that on me. I'm sorry but i will lay the smack down on him if he tries that with me in the store. At home, i make him go to his room until he calms himself down.

I guess us Mexicans have a very different way of dealing with our children. Ignoring a tantrum is ok when they are 2 and 3 years old. But some children began to use a temper to get their ways. Especially in a store where they think you will won't discipline them. My son is 4 years old and he's tried that on me. I'm sorry but i will lay the smack down on him if he tries that with me in the store. At home, i make him go to his room until he calms himself down.


hello,

looll dear, i like you way of dealing:)

i bet he will end up a most discplined child in Mexico;)

i have a similar theory to how you are dealing with things, but unfortunatly it doe snot work all the time, specially if they were not your own kids..... :os

But I don't live with the little runt, fear works fine for a few hours and that is all I need, he grows out of one (horror) I unleash another fictional character upon his imagination.


hi,

lool so when ever he gets to hang around with you, then you give him them kind of a terrifiing charec. to fear from!!!!


u r making me laugh in here.... :D

Sallam,

Just few minutes ago, i was reading through these maginificent information, and i remembered my thread.....

So i thought of sharing them information in here, and for those who are going through the same problems either with their kids or brothers and sisters....then this is the soultion..........................i hope it will work:)

click on the below link:

Solutions (http://www.arabia.msn.com/Family_Home/women25/)

Fed Up With Your Child's Temper Tantrums?


If your child is around two or three years old, you've probably read a lot of articles on temper tantrums. You've probably also asked your friends or your mother what to do because nothing seems to be working. You still find yourself standing in line at the supermarket or out some where with your friends and dying of embarrassment because your child is screaming, kicking or even throwing himself on the floor.
Handling a child's anger can be puzzling, tiring and distressing for parents. Your goal should not be to repress your child's angry feelings, or yours for that matter, but to try to accept and understand them, then direct the child towards acceptable ways of expressing these feelings. When viewed from the right perspective, tantrums are an extremely constructive part of the development of a healthy child.

Why does a child have temper tantrums?

FATIGUE OR FRUSTRATION TANTRUMS

Case: Your child is tired, hungry or frustrated with something. Because he doesn't know any other way to express himself, he gets angry. The anger builds up and he starts crying and kicking.
What to do: Try to determine the cause of the tantrum first. If he's tired, try putting him to bed, and if he's hungry, give him a snack. If he's frustrated with something, calm him down and ask him to gently explain what's wrong. Try to show him that you understand and empathize with him. For example, you could tell him, "This puzzle sure looks hard," if he seems stuck, then offer your help. If he doesn't accept it, just encourage him. Bear in mind that children this age don't know when or how to stop when they're tired; your child is relying on you to do that for him. If you see that the task is too difficult, suggest that he stop and do something else for a while. Resist the temptation to jump in and solve the problem to get it over with. This way you're only teaching your child dependency.


REFUSAL OR AVOIDANCE TANTRUMS

Case: At a certain point in every child's life, he becomes the 'NO' hero. When you say 'Lunch time', 'Time to go to the nursery', or 'Bath time', you will only be confronted with 'No'. Soon, 'no' becomes the answer to anything you suggest.
What to do: Dr. Suad Moussa, assistant professor of psychiatry at Cairo University, explains that, "Children learn to say no before they learn to say yes. The child searches for individuality and tries to form his own entity away from [his] mom and dad." Avoid yes/no situations by explaining what's going to happen a little while before doing something. For example prepare your child for bedtime by saying, "Honey, ten minutes till bedtime. You have just enough time for one last game," as opposed to "It's bedtime. Come on." This way, he will be happy because he can still play for a while and will not be too fussy when his bedtime actually arrives.


ATTENTION - SEEKING TANTRUMS

Case: You're child demands attention and wants it immediately. For example, you are busy doing something or have guests over for dinner and your child insists you play with him as soon as he demands this, or you're in a shop and your child wants you to buy him something then and there. This kind of tantrum also includes whining and rolling on the ground.
What to do: Just say no and refuse to give in to his demands. Your child will most likely cry, yell and stamp on the floor. Try to stay calm, smile and say you love him. Put him in a safe place, let him have his tantrum and offer to talk when he's calmer. This way he learns that this is not the proper way to seek attention. Your child might be having this tantrum because he's lacking attention from you. If this is the case, you need to spend more quality time with him.


DISRUPTIVE TANTRUMS

Case: This 'exhibition' tantrum most likely occurs in public places or in front of people with a lot of yelling and stamping on the floor, screaming fits, and throwing and breaking things. Your child's feelings continue to build up and they eventually blow up and lash out at others. A quick reaction is necessary so that your child causes no harm to himself or to those around him.
What to do: The best solution is to put your child in a quiet place by himself for a time-out (remember only one minute for each year of age). If there's a door make sure not to close or lock it. If you are in public, just step outside with him or take him to your car. You have to teach your child that behaving badly is not going to get any approval from you or others so that he learns that you will never reward this kind of behavior. However, for a more constructive long term solution, try to listen to your child's feelings so that you know what is causing the anger.


RAGE TANTRUMS

Case: If the situation at hand gets really tough on your child, he may lose physical control. He may start striking out by kicking at you or others.
What to do: It is important to hold your child at this point if he'll let you do so, but not as if you're fighting. Hold him as if you're giving him a big hug and tell him, "I'm going to hold you till you calm down because I don't want you to hurt yourself or anyone else." You can even call it 'The Big Hug Time' and do it whenever he loses control. Remember that children sometimes get scared of the intensity of their own anger and need someone else to be in control. Assure your child that even if he loses control, you won't.

Tantrum Tips

Never give in to tantrums or else they will never end. They will actually become more frequent. This can't be emphasized strongly enough. Even if what your child is demanding is something you would have normally agreed to, when your child has a tantrum say, "I'd love to get you that but I can't now because you're acting like this. Maybe next time, we'll get it." Dr. Moussa assures that even though he may not express that he understands what you're doing, you have taught him something and the next time he'll be careful to act better to reach his goal.


Get rid of the idea that anger is proof of indiscipline. It's actually a rush of frightening feelings he can't control and does not know how to express. Don't forget that this is as frightening for him as it is frustrating for you.


Your goal is to teach him how to make good decisions for himself and how to cope with difficult situations. When your child panics because his stack of blocks continuously keep falling, this is a difficult situation for him even if you don't realize that.


During childhood, anger and sadness are very similar. Try to find out if something has made him sad the next time he has a tantrum.


There is a fine line between anger and aggression. Anger is normal because your child is frustrated. An aggressive child however, often attempts to destroy things or hurt people whether by word or action. Aggressive behavior indicates emotional troubles that have to be dealt with appropriately by giving the child time-outs each time he behaves this way. If the child continues to be aggressive and seems to enjoy harming others, parents should seek the advice of a child psychologist.


It is not enough to tell your child what behavior you find unacceptable. Say something like, "Let me show you a better way to do this," and then guide him.


Remember that each child is unique, so what works for one may not work for another. Some children calm down if you pick them up and hug them, others might respond better if you express that you know what they're going through. It's important to experiment with your child to find out what it is that helps him feel safe until his feelings of fright pass.


There is a fine line between discipline that is hostile and discipline that is educational. Spanking or yelling at your child will only degrade him, lower his self-esteem or drive him to stubbornness. Instead, try time-outs, not giving in to his requests when he has a tantrum and directing him firmly.


Being in public makes [disciplining your child] harder but you have to forget the guilt and the embarrassment. Put in mind that you're doing it for the well-being of your child for the next 60 or 70 years. A child whose tantrums are not dealt with properly grows up to be a [person] who throws tantrums at home and at work because he was never taught any other way of dealing with frustrating situations," advises Dr. Moussa.


It is essential that parents find out why their child is having a tantrum so that they can solve the problem in a more focused way. Parents should never give in to their children's demands during a tantrum and should try to discipline their children as calmly as possible. Discipline is about creating an atmosphere of clarity and firmness while using a lot of reasoning. Remember that as tempting as it may be, harshness, hitting and losing control will not help you achieve your ultimate goal.