The Smart One. Or not.

[Enigma]

How important is intelligence in a relationship to you? Would being in a relationship with someone smarter than yourself be intimidating or would it be a pride?

Now look, I know you guys are tempted to hit me with your usual ideal replies like "I want someone who isn't dumb, just smart enough and isn't too smart either" or "I don't care as long as they love me".

Forget that. Lets get real.

Having someone smarter than me has its advantages; for one I'd learn from them and admire them. But I'd constantly be made to feel dumb which I HATE. Me being the smarter one means I get to teach them (which I really love; and not in an arrogant way either) and I'd get to be called 'the smart one in that relationship'. Honestly, the latter is more appealing to me. I know that sounds a bit egocentric but its true.

How about you guys?

[sophis^catrina]

I need someone who is smarter, wiser and much more mature than I am. For the simple reason of me looking up to him, which brings respect as well. Seriously if I was with someone less intelligent or weaker than I am, then I would probably step all over him, take control, which ultimately means the end of the relationship.

I am very head strong and determined, I need someone much more stronger, smarter and therefore someone much more understanding and knows how to deal with me, so there is peace in the relationship.

Plus it's nice to be like the 'baby' and being spoiled and him teaching you things you have no idea abt, and I going "woah, you're so smart". LOL :p it's cute. I like it. He likes it. It's all good. :6:

I think if he was less intelligent than I am, I would probably look down and not respect him. :Shock:

[Enigma]

I need someone much more stronger, smarter and therefore someone much more understanding and knows how to deal with me, so there is peace in the relationship.

Yeah, I need that too. But I didn't mean that sort of smart; I meant book smart.

I think you need both kind of smarts though huh? :p

[ReVeLuTiOnAl^]

Does that imply every girl must get someone smarter than her??...

strange question, but that's how it looks like?!!! which supports the phenomenon that guys are smarter than girls..my own view!

[SteLLa]

i'd like someone who is as smart as me! i mean the same level of intelligence, coz i dont wanna look dumb infront of the guy n i dont want him 2 feel dumb either ..

[MsKnuckles]

I agree with SuGaR all the way... well... aside from that... here's what I would think:
If the guy was smart: I would love it as long as I'm not getting the feeling that he is looking down on me... ofcourse u could learn from them... but that wouldn't mean what revelutional said!!... the guy might know more than her in one field, she might know more than him in another... so why the fuss about who's smarter or dumber?
I think comparing that way would be an insult to either pair... there's nothing called dumber or smarter... there might be something called more knowledgable... or a high intelligence level... but a person could always learn...
so I wouldn't look for a so called dumb person so that i could be smarter... I would always look for the best so that I could reach their level...

[Shinoda LP]

There should be a balance in the IQ level between both the partners. A relationship isn't exactly the kind of two-some to learn to be book-smart ... :os Someone mentioned the 'teaching' and 'learning' part and that kinda took me off, anyways.

I would hate to come back from work and talk to either someone who's WAY smarter than me or someone who's WAY too dumb for me. Also, I'd hate to be with someone who enjoys wearing the pants in the relationship. So, yes, a blance in the intelligence dept. would be a perfect fit.

[NaBHaN]

I would never end up with anyone who talks down to me and thinks she's smarter. Different people have different abilities and knowledge about different sort of things , what I know she doesnt , and what she knows , I dont .I think thats the best combination really , to complete one another , instead of competing over who's smarter than the other. Respect is the most important thing in the relationship after all.. if it does not exist then there is no basis to that relationship and it will not last.

and yeah..someone who's book smart doesnt necessarily have to be smart when it comes to dealing with real life issues. ;)

[Enigma]

and yeah..someone who's book smart doesnt necessarily have to be smart when it comes to dealing with real life issues. ;)
Exactly. There are all different sorts of 'smart'; emotional intelligence, street smart, common sense.. and book smart, which is what I was talking about.


Someone mentioned the 'teaching' and 'learning' part and that kinda took me off, anyways.
You can look at it in the worst way possible if you wish to. The thing is, if your husband is more into reading and gaining knowledge (about anything from current affairs to ancient history), while having a conversation you will learn a thing or two from them as they share their knowledge. As you would with anyone who was more book smart than yourself.

[Cute_One]

I need someone who is smarter, wiser and much more mature than I am. For the simple reason of me looking up to him, which brings respect as well. Seriously if I was with someone less intelligent or weaker than I am, then I would probably step all over him, take control, which ultimately means the end of the relationship.

I am very head strong and determined, I need someone much more stronger, smarter and therefore someone much more understanding and knows how to deal with me, so there is peace in the relationship.

Plus it's nice to be like the 'baby' and being spoiled and him teaching you things you have no idea abt, and I going "woah, you're so smart". LOL :p it's cute. I like it. He likes it. It's all good. :6:

I think if he was less intelligent than I am, I would probably look down and not respect him. :Shock:
u can say that again alll the way .....

at the end of the road ... as long as there is an understanding than theres not hing to worry about ..

[sophis^catrina]

I think you need both kind of smarts though huh? :p

I sure do. The thing is in almost every part of your life, a person is competing against others. At work, social life, etc competing on who is smarter, more good looking, etc. The last thing I want is my own husband being my competitor as well, as in we competing on who is smarter than the other and challenging each other. I am guessing men are the same, they've had a tough and boring day at work, the last thing they want to go to is a wife who is trying to prove that she is smarter.

I mean if he is smarter and much more mature from the start, the competition that just brings tension is gone, he won't feel threatened by you being successful and in fact will even help you and will feel proud of you, and also it's nice looking up to your husband and him having the upper hand. :love:

[Raed]

Me being the smarter one means I get to teach them (which I really love; and not in an arrogant way either) and I'd get to be called 'the smart one in that relationship'. Honestly, the latter is more appealing to me. I know that sounds a bit egocentric but its true.

How about you guys?

Sometimes I mistake you for a German matron. :bored:

I do not bother about I.Q, I need her to think different than I do, because then we have better chances of surviving as a whole than having captain smart in charge and playing a blame game afterwards.

Plus, if I sense that she is trying to prove that she is smarter, I just yawn, pick a book, and put on my mp3 player.

[MsKnuckles]

.... it's nice for ur husband to have the upper hand?? :mmhmm: I dunno about that ...... I would be proud of him if he were smarter or better in what he does and I would even try to push him further to achieve his goals, "as long as he doesn't give me the impression that he is actually doing it IN ORDER to GET the upper hand" if you know what I mean... because then that would mean he's competeing or simply wants to take control... I in no way want to have a competetive husband... it's better to have someone who'd support u if u achieved something rather than go like.."Oh no. she's better than me!"... and with u LIKEWISE... it's about understanding, respecting and supporting one another.... marriage is not a competition or a game to prove yourselves... :mmhmm:

[Arabian Princess]

I need socially and emotionally smarter person .. I need someone who I can turn for advice, coz when I am lost I need to trust his decision and not think twice.

I dont care about book smart.. I know I am not, so any person would be smarter than me :p

[marshmallowhut]

Someone who is smarter than you in every aspect may not make you feel dumb as long as he isn't arrogant. If he has respect for you, which he obviously should, he would never consciously make you feel dumb. If he was smart and made you feel dumb, the relationship would not be able to work unless you're satisfied with feeling stupid for the rest of your life...which I feel is something no one would want.

Also, intelligence is something that can be spread over a wide spectrum. Someone who is very knowledgable in the field of science may not be as well-versed in the fine arts. Likewise, there is intelligence that has to do with how one handles various situations. I think its fairly difficult to accurately pass judgement on one's intelligence unless he/she is obviously handicapped intellectually.

Ultimately, I'd like someone who is intelligent and I wouldn't mind if he was smarter than me, as long as he wasn't arrogant and still had respect for me and my opinions.

[Orion]

There are different types of indicators and characteristics that make up a person EQ and IQ - it would be impossible to categorize a complex human being as a singular entity with one kind of "intelligence" ... they are thoses who are mathematically smart or musically smart or emotionally smart to name a few ...

We are all made up of these varying degrees of "intelligences," more important than worrying how "smart" one is compared to you, you should ask yourself if you can respect them and they can respect you.

[amo_l_oman]

I know that sounds a bit egocentric but its true.
Maybe the relation with the right person, smart or no, would help solving the problem, maybe...

[Thug4Life]

Smarter...in which means!!
life?...geek?...Money managment?...BookWorm???....family?

you see you cant get some one who is perfect...
and even the way things are seen about the smartness issue....diversity up to the toes exsists ....A girl see that this guy is smart cause he is a scientist? BUT he is dumb when it comes to creat a descent family!!!!

you got what i mean

[Libellula]

When I make this mental list comprising of all the qualities I look for in a partner, "smarter than me" is always on that list. I've always wanted someone who was more intelligent, more knowledgable, and more bookish than I am so that I would look up to them and learn a lot from them. When it comes to reality though, I've never actually fallen for 'the geek' or 'the smart guy'. I don't fall for idiots, but I don't go for guys who read a lot or do well (academically) in school, and sometimes I worry about that a little bit.

Strange..

[MorphaKnight]

Eh no.. I wouldn't want someone who is just too smart for their own good.. Practically I prefer someone who doesn't have to be smart but just knowledgeable in most things.. I don't have to be too smart myself. I just hate people telling me to do this and that or that they would view almost all my actions as something seriously childish. It's as if I'd be their own lab rat and I'm there to be observed in some manner.. I prefer having some one of equal knowledge (or close be it me or her who would be somewhat smarter) to myself because then we'd get to work on something together and try to help one another with the knowledge that we have gathered.

[Born Lopsided]

Well I don't want my girl to have the intellect of a toothless redneck dumbass or a circus monkey :D . And I wouldn't like her to be the type that always puts me down for being the retard that I am cuz she's way more intellectually gifted than moi :yell: . If she as a lil more smarter I am, but less experienced, then I'd feel comfortable. But if I had to pick between Jessica Simpson and Margaret Thatcher, I'd go for the one with the shrimp sized brain. At least she doesn't look deformed :cute: .

[cLueLess]

I’d like somebody very smart, but who wouldn’t outsmart me. I always like to be in control, but that doesn’t mean I want a dumbass. I want someone I can hold interesting, intellectual conversations and debates with; someone who could enlighten me as well as amuse me. I would find it more interesting if we argue rather than agree about everything. Basically, I want someone with a mind of his own, smart in his own way.

[Enigma]

I must've been on dope when I wrote this. I definetly want someone smarter than me, not book smart but common-sense/knows his way around the world, more than me.

[Homeless]

Id want to be the smart one too ...
I'd say that we could both be of same intellegence where we could both learn from eachother and have pride of eachother both being smart which would make us an all time couple or so forth .. but I wouldnt mind being the smartest one either... sometimes u need to b Smart to understand the way men think nowadays even if it was your own husband...

[Libellula]

I think if he was less intelligent than I am, I would probably look down and not respect him. :Shock:

I always thought that was what would happen in a relationship where one person is way smarter than the other, but honestly I think it depends on the couple. To some, 'book/academic' intelligence is such a big deal, but to others their partner just needs to have common sense and not sound/act like an idiot most of the time.

[IntI]

i dont want sum1 dumb, that every time we strt conversation it ends up wid argument bcoz he didnt get ma point
i dont want sum1 too smart that will treat me like a stupid woman who know nothing but cooking n cleaning ofcourse this not true
anyway,
i want sum1 in between same level i guess same way of thinking
n like thug said none is perfect so i guess
i want none realy

[fatamooo]

I just think that common sense is important. You can be a total genius but not have any common sense whatsoever, which is really annoying.

[Delicate]

I want someone who's smarter than me. As I am a woman, I want my man to be smarter and more intelligent than myself because I want him to standout when taking decisions or making any move. I simply want my man to be the king of my family. I don't want a man who simply mimics what I say. Ofcourse, consulting me is a MUST, but I want my husband to be responsible.

[Libellula]

I want someone who's smarter than me. As I am a woman, I want my man to be smarter and more intelligent than myself because I want him to standout when taking decisions or making any move. I simply want my man to be the king of my family. I don't want a man who simply mimics what I say. Ofcourse, consulting me is a MUST, but I want my husband to be responsible.
Hmm.. so intelligence and responsibility are linked in some way? I never thought that. I know many people who aren't smart at all, but they're extremely responsible

[sophis^catrina]

I simply want my man to be the king of my family. I don't want a man who simply mimics what I say. Ofcourse, consulting me is a MUST, but I want my husband to be responsible.

In other words, a real man. :cute: :cool: