Solafa
15-06-05, 10:20 PM
Sallam,
Part [3], relating to Paying the dowry.
============
Dowry is the definition of giving out a gift to the bride, and it can be either by a certain/agreed amount of money or in some sort of verities of gifts. It is not a must to be something with a high value neither so cheap. Rather in how would the groom afford to buy such thing? Unless if the bride’s family had asked for a certain thing.
----------------
In our family, the dowry issue is more or less agreed between the male members, but before that taking in their minds the situation of the groom. IF they think that the groom can afford or is able to pay such amount then they will ask him and agree with him.
As far as what I recall and heard that our family don’t ask for a high dowry, it is within the acceptable range, for sure not O.R. 2000 slightly higher but yet not that much.
A date will be set for the dowry to be ready and sent to the bride. In our tradition usually the dowry does not get sent only in a closed envelop, it is considered disrespecting, because it is like you are paying for something you bought of a market. Instead it is accompanied with some gifts such as cloths/textiles, jewellery, house-holds, shoes, clothes, watches, perfumes, furniture, cooker, fridge…….etc. In the old days these stuff used to be packed in a typical Omani wooden box called Mandous. It used to be decorated with golden pins and design in beautiful designs. Theses days, such boxes are so expansive that not many people would afford to buy one every time they have to send a dowry. So they have replaced the box with a big suit case or a language.
So, when the date is set, then the female from the bride’s and the groom’s family get to be informed, such as the sisters, grandmothers, aunties, cousins and friends. They all get informed with the date and time and the preparation of receiving the dowry. They all have to be there and they will have a small party to welcome the gift as well as the female members from the groom’s family.
The female members from the groom’s family will prepare the gifts that they want to send to the bride. Normally these gifts are gifted by the female members from the groom’s side, as a sign of happiness and appreciation and to welcome the bride into their family. The sisters, the mother, grandmothers, aunties, cousins and sisters-in-law, will contribute to give something and not necessary to be expansive, what ever they can afford is acceptable. Sometimes there are some repeated stuff, but yet nice stuff.
This night usually take place at the evening after The Evening Prayer [salat al3isha]. Accompanied with dinner served and some songs played with some dances but some female members.
In that night while every one is expected to be attending, the bride has been covered with a greeny cloth for no one to see her and wearing a lovely dress, and get sited in a special place for her, and every one will go and greet her and talk to her, while waiting for the groom’s family to appear.
When the groom’s family appear, then they are getting welcomed with a special music and nice words by the bride’s family expressing their happiness in receiving them. Then every one sits in the room or the hall that was allocated for them to gather.
Then a special lady from the groom’s family would have been chosen in advance to present the gifts infront of every one who has attended at that time, and has to announce the person who contributed with that thing. It goes on like that till every thing is been pronounced and shown, apart of the big objects that can not be carried for sure such as furniture or fridge or cooker……etc
Then the dowry will be given to a trusty person and ask her to count and check if the whole amount is been given or not if any thing missing or if it was complete then the groom’s family will get noted. Meanwhile the guest will get dinner served and as I mentioned previously that some entertainment will be taking place such as dancing and singing.
While the bride enjoying one of her nights and the same to every one, not to forget that if the female members of both families did not know each other previously then this is a good occasion to get together and fulfil their time with joy and happiness.
----------------
This is the end of Part[3], which next part will take us to the Bride's preparation which is part[4].
Check out:
Part[1] (http://www.englishsabla.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30779)
Part [2] (http://www.englishsabla.com/forum/showthread.php?t=31295)
Part [3], relating to Paying the dowry.
============
Dowry is the definition of giving out a gift to the bride, and it can be either by a certain/agreed amount of money or in some sort of verities of gifts. It is not a must to be something with a high value neither so cheap. Rather in how would the groom afford to buy such thing? Unless if the bride’s family had asked for a certain thing.
----------------
In our family, the dowry issue is more or less agreed between the male members, but before that taking in their minds the situation of the groom. IF they think that the groom can afford or is able to pay such amount then they will ask him and agree with him.
As far as what I recall and heard that our family don’t ask for a high dowry, it is within the acceptable range, for sure not O.R. 2000 slightly higher but yet not that much.
A date will be set for the dowry to be ready and sent to the bride. In our tradition usually the dowry does not get sent only in a closed envelop, it is considered disrespecting, because it is like you are paying for something you bought of a market. Instead it is accompanied with some gifts such as cloths/textiles, jewellery, house-holds, shoes, clothes, watches, perfumes, furniture, cooker, fridge…….etc. In the old days these stuff used to be packed in a typical Omani wooden box called Mandous. It used to be decorated with golden pins and design in beautiful designs. Theses days, such boxes are so expansive that not many people would afford to buy one every time they have to send a dowry. So they have replaced the box with a big suit case or a language.
So, when the date is set, then the female from the bride’s and the groom’s family get to be informed, such as the sisters, grandmothers, aunties, cousins and friends. They all get informed with the date and time and the preparation of receiving the dowry. They all have to be there and they will have a small party to welcome the gift as well as the female members from the groom’s family.
The female members from the groom’s family will prepare the gifts that they want to send to the bride. Normally these gifts are gifted by the female members from the groom’s side, as a sign of happiness and appreciation and to welcome the bride into their family. The sisters, the mother, grandmothers, aunties, cousins and sisters-in-law, will contribute to give something and not necessary to be expansive, what ever they can afford is acceptable. Sometimes there are some repeated stuff, but yet nice stuff.
This night usually take place at the evening after The Evening Prayer [salat al3isha]. Accompanied with dinner served and some songs played with some dances but some female members.
In that night while every one is expected to be attending, the bride has been covered with a greeny cloth for no one to see her and wearing a lovely dress, and get sited in a special place for her, and every one will go and greet her and talk to her, while waiting for the groom’s family to appear.
When the groom’s family appear, then they are getting welcomed with a special music and nice words by the bride’s family expressing their happiness in receiving them. Then every one sits in the room or the hall that was allocated for them to gather.
Then a special lady from the groom’s family would have been chosen in advance to present the gifts infront of every one who has attended at that time, and has to announce the person who contributed with that thing. It goes on like that till every thing is been pronounced and shown, apart of the big objects that can not be carried for sure such as furniture or fridge or cooker……etc
Then the dowry will be given to a trusty person and ask her to count and check if the whole amount is been given or not if any thing missing or if it was complete then the groom’s family will get noted. Meanwhile the guest will get dinner served and as I mentioned previously that some entertainment will be taking place such as dancing and singing.
While the bride enjoying one of her nights and the same to every one, not to forget that if the female members of both families did not know each other previously then this is a good occasion to get together and fulfil their time with joy and happiness.
----------------
This is the end of Part[3], which next part will take us to the Bride's preparation which is part[4].
Check out:
Part[1] (http://www.englishsabla.com/forum/showthread.php?t=30779)
Part [2] (http://www.englishsabla.com/forum/showthread.php?t=31295)