One More Chance?

[Abs]

Relationships tend to go sour becoz of insecurities, lies, deceit and above all broken promises and no trust. The single most important thing that holds a relationship tight is "trust". What happens when the trust is gone?

Should a person be given another chance after he or she has been unfaithful, lied, or broken a promise?

[Pineapple Thief]

Depends how serious. Im tempted to say 'no' though. Whats shared is special, and once u start trying to hold it together..well, its like trying to hold a dam together, eventually, if things continue, it will just burst.

A concious effort from both sides can help fix things, I suppose, but how often does that happen? More often than not one side tries just a little less hard than the other...

(im not talking marriage here, Im sure thats a different ballgame)

[sophis^catrina]

Timing can make all the difference. The man who broke my heart some year saying he could not commit, but then came after some months/years saying he is ready for the whole commitment thing. I might give it a shot, if I am still not with someone else. :angel:

Basically people change. The miserable relationship between two people which causes them to split, can become an amazing one after some time.

All depends on time. :cool:

So yeah trust can be rebuild, coz over time, people change anyway.

Whether you want to give them a second chance really depends on your feelings for each other and whether the couple can think it can work.

[Pineapple Thief]

Maybe Sophis, but I think for most of us that would be wishful thinking :(

[NaBHaN]

I agree with sophis that time makes a huge difference. And anyways.. differnet people view 'trust' in different ways. to some trust isnt about only staying faithful, it involves different things which form the 'trust cirlcle'.

Anyways.. I also agree that without trust things tend to go bad ,cause thats when a person's insecurity would get the best of him/her.

To give a chance? it depends on how strongly you feel about the other person and if you actually do want to spend your life with him/her , if you have doubts then I wouldnt advise going back. trust your instincts and do what you feel is right.

[RareDiamond]

I know of two couples who were dating for 7 years. The girl was MADLY in love with that guy. She caught him cheating mannnnnyyyy times. She would cry and cry and cry..poor her. He even once told her that he wanted to go out with another girl. But the girl never gave up because she loved him soo much.

After 7 years of dating, they got married. The husband still cheated when she was out of the country for studies. After two-three years she got a baby. The husband changed completely after that. Now he is very faithful, Stright, loves his wife alot and spend all his free time with his wife and baby.

[sophis^catrina]

^^^ We women endure so much. :(

[Pineapple Thief]

But WHY?? WHY ENDURE IT? Im sorry RareDiamond, but I think you're friend is quite lucky. Give the partner the power to cheat on you (and know that you will return to him/her) and they will continue to do it. Its tough, but you need to put your foot down and say ENOUGH!

*all fired up now*

[sophis^catrina]

But WHY?? WHY ENDURE IT?

Because she already knows that he is 'the one', while he needs 7 years to realise it, coz he used to be a care free immature playboy. :love: (Like many men anyway).

[Enigma]

Sophie, you are mad!

I wouldn't take it for one day, forget seven years! :eh:

[Pineapple Thief]

Theres no such thing as 'the one'...there is only 'ones who are suitable'.

She may think he is 'the one', but in that case she isnt bothering to try to 'do better'. ;)

[sophis^catrina]

Sophie, you are mad!

I wouldn't take it for one day, forget seven years! :eh:

I am so not. It's a fact of life. Majority of men in their teens and 20s are just trying to date as many women as they can.

So it's so romantic when a playboy becomes monogamous and only has eyes for her.

So romantic. :love:

[pink floydian]

it dependes on the person and how the number of times he/she broken a promise or cheat and also depends on the act itself if it was a huge thing like cheating on a wife or a husband i dont think that i will forgive in such thing coz i think anything else can be forgiving but not cheating

[Lym]

hmm interesting .
When trust is gone , I don't think you can get it back as 'tight' as it used to be. If a man did me wrong , I will never forget the pain I have endured or felt or the broken promises that I have had to get over.
Yes , time does play a factor , as in later on, I personally wouldnt hold a grudge towards my 'partner' for whatever reason , so it is easier to reconcile with time.
Trust can be found again , but not as strong as before ..because at the back of my head , I will always be prepared to be hurt again.
People do change , I agree but then we never forget the people who did us wrong. So basically , no matter how much they change , there is a chance they could relapse again and 'harm' me again.
It depends on you whether you want to risk it or not. maybe because of the love you hold for him , or the compatibility between the two of you.

[RareDiamond]

If I was on that girl's position, I would never give him another chance. Before they got married, he cheated on her a billion times and she found out about alot of them but she was soo attached to him that she can't imagine her life without him. Mind you the girl is so so soooooooooo beautiful mashalah and the guy is just okay.

After they got married, I don't think she caught him cheating!!. But her friends, including myself, knew he was cheating on her!! but now he is TOTALLY changed. He went for hajj, doesn't talk to other girls behind his wife, doesn't cheat on his wife. He is completely devoted to his wife. He is like this now for 2 years.

[HITMAN]

with exception of adultery, all other mistakes r forgiven by me!

[nana]

Relationships tend to go sour becoz of insecurities, lies, deceit and above all broken promises and no trust. The single most important thing that holds a relationship tight is "trust". What happens when the trust is gone?

Should a person be given another chance after he or she has been unfaithful, lied, or broken a promise?

well it takes ages to build TRUST but takes only a second to destroy it... personally cant trust someone who has already betrayed or lied to me.