View Full Version : Lustful marriage…do we lie to ourselves?
Haroundb
20-03-05, 10:32 AM
If a man proposed to you and he just said in the exact words:
“I really want to marry you because I see you the most beautiful woman on earth! I really feel that I am sexually attracted to you, and really I admire your body!”
-Honestly, do you agree to marry him?
-If you don’t, then what are your reasons?
-Is it improper to build a matrimonial life (basically)upon physical admire between the two genders?
-If he did feel sexually attracted to you but didn’t say that, (and you can see that in his eyes), would you accept him in that case?
-Many do this type of marriage, so is it true that we don't like to expose our reality?
-What could be the question that you would ask him before you say "I agree to marry you"?
X-press
20-03-05, 10:47 AM
“I really want to marry you because I see you the most beautiful woman on earth! I really feel that I am sexually attracted to you, and really I admire your body!”
-Honestly, do you agree to marry him?If the only reason a man wants to be (presumably for the rest of his life) with me is because of my look or my body, then I would surely not accept his proposal.
The foundation of a marriage should not be based on physical attraction only and it needs much more than that to have a strong base to start. Physical attraction is still important (at least for me), but it should not be the main reason to settle into a marriage. Beauty is temporary, so when it has faded or when is totally gone, something more valuable should still prevail to keep a couple together.
sophis^catrina
20-03-05, 10:47 AM
No, because as soon as he sleeps with me he'll lose interest.
I mean he said it himself, he is just interested in sleeping with me.
Why won't I agree?
Because it is a fact that as soon as women have sex with a man they form a closer emotional attachement and start wanting love and more commitment.
While if he just wanted sex, he's lost interest and wiill start looking for other women, making my life hell. :p
Truth is, lust normally comes first, but you should try and wait till he falls in love before making that commitment of marriage, so you know that even when he sleeps with you, he won't leave, but want more. :)
CrazyReD
20-03-05, 11:00 AM
If a man proposed to you and he just said in the exact words:
“I really want to marry you because I see you the most beautiful woman on earth! I really feel that I am sexually attracted to you, and really I admire your body!”
-Honestly, do you agree to marry him?
nop
-If you don’t, then what are your reasons?
i'm not gay
-Is it improper to build a matrimonial life (basically)upon physical admire between the two genders?
it should only be based on physicalty
-If he did feel sexually attracted to you but didn’t say that, (and you can see that in his eyes), would you accept him in that case?
nope
-Many do this type of marriage, so is it true that we don't like to expose our reality?
no idea really
-What could be the question that you would ask him before you say "I agree to marry you"?
non there's no way i'd marry another man :Sick::Sick::Sick::Sick::Sick::Sick::Sick::Sick:
Libellula
21-03-05, 06:53 PM
If a man proposed to you and he just said in the exact words:
“I really want to marry you because I see you the most beautiful woman on earth! I really feel that I am sexually attracted to you, and really I admire your body!”
-Honestly, do you agree to marry him?
No way.
-If you don’t, then what are your reasons?
Isn't it obvious? I would never marry someone who wanted me only because of the way I look.There are much more important things than that. If we had nothing in common but attraction, how will I spend any time with him? Also, when I'm old and ugly, he'll have no reason to stay with me. Sexual attraction alone does not make a marriage work.
-Is it improper to build a matrimonial life (basically)upon physical admire between the two genders?
Definitely.
-If he did feel sexually attracted to you but didn’t say that, (and you can see that in his eyes), would you accept him in that case?
As long as there was something else besides sexual attraction, I might consider it. If it was only attraction, then no, I wouldn't.
-Many do this type of marriage, so is it true that we don't like to expose our reality?
Didn't understand your question
-What could be the question that you would ask him before you say "I agree to marry you"?
"Are you for real?!" lol.
Hmmm ... regardless if he said the words or not ... you got to give respect with that kind of honesty (LOL) ... still nobody will say it on this Sabla ... but we are all attracted to our partners on some level physically ...
And at the end of the day ... you can lie/fool/agree each other into saying its because of personality, character, 'compatibility' ...
Lets be honest ... saying "I Love You" ... is the Disney way of saying "I Want To Sleep With You" on some level ...
And as long as you willing to accept/hope that it will develop into something more meaningful (friendship ... patience ... acceptance) than it's all good.
-Honestly, do you agree to marry him?
Nope. If thats the way he puts it , definetly not.
I know alot of men do marry because they just want to sleep with their future wives , but they dont phrase it as honestly as that. So the wife doesnt know their superficial intention , at the end , she does agree to the matrimony.
-If you don’t, then what are your reasons?
Too shallow for me if he phrases it that way.
-Is it improper to build a matrimonial life (basically)upon physical admire between the two genders?
It depends on the couple.
Well yes and no. Yes because marriage should have more than just the physical aspect since your looks do fade away.
No , because after marriage , some couples do tend to see the qualities and admire eachother on a deeper level
-If he did feel sexually attracted to you but didn’t say that, (and you can see that in his eyes), would you accept him in that case?
If he is a good man ( Practicing Muslim , respectable, finacially stable , attracted to him ) then there is a chance , I will say yes if I like what I see in him and I think that we are compatible.
-Many do this type of marriage, so is it true that we don't like to expose our reality?
For sure.
-What could be the question that you would ask him before you say "I agree to marry you"?
I will interrogate him to find out more about himself and his personality.
The thing is alot of marriages are based on physical admiration but it is just not said. Thats when a man sees you on a street and tells him mum ,I want to marry her. They do marry because he is a good man . At the end , the marriage does tend to work even though at the beginning it was based purely on physical attraction.
When the man says it out loud , it sound too shallow , and perverted , even though it is the truth in some cases , and some women , like to live in denial and not accept the fact that some men do think this way.
For a man to be honest enough to tell you , that he just wants to sleep with you is a bit of an offence since he sees nothing else in you to make it worth marrying you for.
I am one of the women in denial . thats why , if he does say it out loud , I will not marry him , if he doesnt , I might !
Soulless
25-03-05, 09:32 AM
all relationships start with physical attraction :) , love is just something that comes along and in some cases it doesnt :)
Well, put it the other way round for a minute. I'd like to ask the female member this: Would you marry a man who was not physically attractive to you?
No way. Attraction is a really important factor.
if i was a lady, i would have agreed :6:
Cute_One
25-03-05, 09:48 PM
Well, put it the other way round for a minute. I'd like to ask the female member this: Would you marry a man who was not physically attractive to you?
true .. plus atleast he was honest behind the reason ... !!!! honesty is important !
true .. plus atleast he was honest behind the reason ... !!!! honesty is important !
You're the best ......
:cute:
Haroundb
25-03-05, 11:08 PM
I think now every thing is clear!
I think now every thing is clear!
Haroundb ...
"I really want to marry you because I see you as the most beautiful man on earth! I really feel that I am sexually attracted to you, and really I admire your body!"
sophis^catrina
26-03-05, 12:27 AM
true .. plus atleast he was honest behind the reason ... !!!! honesty is important !
But seriously if a man really tells you exactly what's going through his mind when he sees you physically, I think the majority of women who aren't married before would be freaked out! :D
Honesty can freak women out and make them think he isn't respectable, even though he might be very respectable! :p
But seriously if a man really tells you exactly what's going through his mind when he sees you physically, I think the majority of women who aren't married before would be freaked out! :D
Honesty can freak women out and make them think he isn't respectable, even though he might be very respectable! :p
True ... he needs to tone it down a couple of notches ... not to blown off ...
marshmallowhut
26-03-05, 02:18 AM
I still think honesty in that regard isn't always the way to go... Knowing females, that statement would probably throw them into some kind of mess thinking about the fifty million implications of those two lines... even if it was toned down a couple of notches.. the core message is still there..
I still think honesty in that regard isn't always the way to go... Knowing females, that statement would probably throw them into some kind of mess thinking about the fifty million implications of those two lines... even if it was toned down a couple of notches.. the core message is still there..
Or you could hit the mute button ...
Haroundb
26-03-05, 07:11 AM
Haroundb ...
"I really want to marry you because I see you as the most beautiful man on earth! I really feel that I am sexually attracted to you, and really I admire your body!"
I feel now like changing my name to "Venus" rather than Haroundb. Kind of you Sir Pretender, but "Love sought is good, but given unsought is better"*
I am flirted! :D
*William Shakespeare
Why would anyone accept to marry someone for purely sexual reasons? Marriage is so much more than sex (or I could say it needs more good parts to it than that to make up for it :p )
Nigster, that wasn't my question. I didn't say that would be the only reason. Would you marry someone suitable in every way but who you found physically unattractive?
Mimosa you aren't the one who started the thread :os How is it "your" question!
Cute_One
27-03-05, 12:50 AM
True ... he needs to tone it down a couple of notches ... not to blown off ...
True .. plus i think physical attraction is important TOO in order to have a successful relationship.... u wouldnt want to marry someone who u cant imagine being with him in bed ? :yell: :shy:
was that too loud ??
Niggy, I asked a question before halfway down the thread. I thought you were answering it. If you weren't, would you mind, even though it's not my thread?
:)
Would I marry a man who wasn't physically attracted to me?
I'd probably question his motives for marrying me. As far as I know when you ask someone to marry you, you go for the whole deal. Not one without the other.
If he came right out and said he didn't find me attractive then I would have to refuse. It just wouldn't work out that way.
lol Niggy, attractive to you, not attracted to you!
Oh! Well... yeah, I would! :)
But you just said "as far as I know you marry someone for the whole deal", so why would you marry someone who did not appeal to you physically? Are you saying it's different for women; unnecessary to be physically attracted?
No, I'm saying its different for me. I rarely find any guy attractive mimosa. I don't mean to insult men or anything but my "attraction" is closely tied with my emotions. If I feel loved and love a person I would be attracted to them, if I didn't then no amount of 'hotness' could get me to want them in that way. I'm just not someone who cares about looks: at all! It would be nice to end up with a good looking guy, but I don't see how I'd benifit from that.
Noble words Miss Niggy. I agree that attraction is nothing without emotional involvement, I feel the same. But it's rare for someone not to feel attraction at all!
Haroundb
27-03-05, 07:04 AM
To be attracted to someone is actually to love him, so why do we use many words for simple meanings? When we push our words to fight for us in the war of mind, I think the looser would be the real meaning inside us. Killing words is not a good idea people!
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