~*~Committment~*~

[Tiny Heart]

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy...
Or let's say the chance to draw back is always ineffectiveness.

Concerning all acts of initiative (and creating).. There is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas & splendid plans... that the moment one definitely commits oneself, and then providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.

Here are some suggestions for making & keeping commitments:

1. Don't make commitments you don't plan to keep.
2. Learn to say NO.
3. Make conditional agreement. ("If.... Then...").
4. Keep the commitments you make.
5. Write commitments down. (Keep a diary or a calendar).
6. If conflicts arise, renegotiate at the earliest opportunity.

Believe me... 80% of success would show up...


EDIT....

I'm refering in my post to the commitment between a Guy & his GF *Commitment to a realtionship* or a Guy & his Fiance *Commitment to mirrage*...

[Tiny Heart]

17 Views, 0 Reply

[CrazyReD]

lol maybe cause we dunno what we are suppose to say?

ok what do you mean by learn to say no?

[Enigma]

I think that the hardest commitments to keep are the ones you make to yourself. Personally, if I tell somebody I'm going to do something I DO it. No questions. But its another case when its with myself (because I know I'm only hurting myself and I figure myself can deal with it).

It just takes a lot of energy, motivation and enthusaism to keep you going. The question is finding that within you.

[Tiny Heart]

CrazyReD....
What do I mean by *Learn to say No* is:
Some people just dont have the word *No* in their life, they do everything they are told to do, more like no personality... So, here it indicates that a person within a realtionship, should have kinda a strong personality not to be bully by the other person, as in U dont have to say Yes in everything to ur partner, Unless U truelly believe what U R up to is something right & correct.
iz it clear now?

Enigma...
I C U were explaining *Commitment* as in different way,
I'm sorry, I guess I wasnt clear with my post earlier.

But regarding what u've stated, its true...
The hardest commitment, is the Commitment to ur self.

I strongly agree, for any type of commitment it really requiers a lot of energy, motivation and enthusaism to keep you going.

[IceTea]

I'm refering in my post to the commitment between a Guy & his GF *Commitment to a realtionship* or a Guy & his Fiance *Commitment to mirrage*...


The topic should be moved to business sabla, don't ask me why!

[amo_l_oman]

didn't get it sorry Icey :think:
ok a commitment is being serious and determined towards ourself and the other parts, not only in love, but the above rules make it sound like a jail :(

[mimosa]

I'm committed. I've got the mahr ready and everything. Well, nearly. Just need a bride now.

[Tiny Heart]

The topic should be moved to business sabla, don't ask me why!


Damn how hypocrisy is that...
Man I find ur comments R really Stupid, I swear..
Dont know if that's ur nature or U R trying to act stupid & funny.


the above rules make it sound like a jail

LoLz... perhaps U R true.. Well, That's ur point of view..


Just need a bride now.

I'm available :p
Naah, Just Kidding

[Lym]

Well , the suggestions make sense ,but then again ...arent you suppose to act and decide to what feels right ..rather than plan and plan. I mean sometimes it will be best not to negotiate if your partner is in the wrong. (Just to prove a point to the partner)

I believe to make things work , it depends on the situation and person. Some of the suggestion stated wouldnt fit every scenario....so act with the heart and mind.
Just be considerate and put yourself in your partner's shoes, you get a clearer vision of the problem then , therefore a better solution.

[Tiny Heart]

I guess lots have understood my points wrongly..
Let me explain them better..

1. Don't make commitments you don't plan to keep.
As in, dont get into a relationship or marriage just for the sake of it..
U should be fully into it, as in beleive in it & make sure U arent going in for *ma9la7a*..
Dont say, okay I will accept to be this guy's/girl's gf/bf knowing he loves U alot & U R not the type of person who likes to stay in a realtionship for a long period.
*I know some girls who get to know a guy just for the sake of having a BF but she's the type of a girl who cant stay with 1 single guy for more than 3 months, so after 3 months, she'd dump him & go for another guy...

2. Learn to say NO.
Have a personality...
If ur partner asks U to do or say something, do not just simply obey him/her..
Dont think, oh he/she told me for example to go with him/her to a party/dico & I'm not that type of girl/guy who likes disco's but I'm afraid if I tell him/her then he'd/she'd get angry at me or so on, try to give ur point of view, tell him/her in a gentle way..
For example: Thnx for asking me out this evening, I'd really like to spend sometime with U, but Sorry, I dont like being in such places, & if ur partner loves U so, he/she would accept ur apology & would understand U.

3. Make conditional agreement. ("If.... Then...").
Sit together sometimes or even alone & think of things that may occur within ur realtionships, bad things or good things, put in mind how to deal with them & what actions U might take.

4. Keep the commitments you make.
If for example, a guy/girl asks U out & U've accepted with ur own will & no pressure, then try ur best to work things out when problems or issues arrises.
Not say, okay I'll leave her/him when the first tiny isue shows up.

5. Write commitments down. (Keep a diary or a calendar).
What's meant by here..
For example, have a diary where U'd like to treassue all ur memories with him/her, lets say write down ur important dates, first time U went out, or lets say, put down that next weekend u two have decided to go for a movie, so U wont forget that U already have a plan with ur partner & wont 4get about it when ur close friend says, hey lets go for picnic this weekend, U forget about ur earlier commitment to go for a movie with ur partner, then that may cause few problems between U two.

6. If conflicts arise, renegotiate at the earliest opportunity.
Dont try accumulating things up in ur heart or mind..
If ur partner has done something wrong or had upset U in something, be frank to him/her about it..
Have a moment where both of U can sit down & discuss about, so that ur partner would try his/her best to not do it again.

Finally... No1 mentioned anything about planning these points.
It just has to flow within ur realtionship.......

[Cute_One]

no commitments , no regrets !!

[Tiny Heart]

no commitments , no regrets !!

Explian....

[Cute_One]

well .. if u keep on commiting urself to something that was not worth but didnt know later on u might regret doing it ...so why not be cautiuos and start aboserving it from the outside angle until u can trust the thing and committ to it .. it might takes years b4 u decide to do that .. but if u didnt u wouldn't regret it right?..

But it also depends on the situation ur dealing with and the level of commitment ur talking about ...

[Pineapple Thief]

Commitments are very difficult indeed, but to not make them is cowardly. We need to be able to make them, but be realistic about them. Otherwise we suffer needlessly.

[Tiny Heart]

Cute_One....
Obviously U cant commit ur self to someone U just met or 4 a short period of time...
I'm talking about someone U know for quite long...
And offcourse U wont go cimmiting ur self to someone unless U know from the begining that's a right person or is its the correct thing U R doing...

Pineapple Thief.... I agree with that.. :)

[Amir]

Well , the suggestions make sense ,but then again ...arent you suppose to act and decide to what feels right ..rather than plan and plan. I mean sometimes it will be best not to negotiate if your partner is in the wrong. (Just to prove a point to the partner)

Maybe you are right that way Empress, but think of it, do you think once even knowing your partner he/she might be wrong, should we jump into conclusion of "That I am right so he should listen to me"? Just by that we create ego problems, which is one of the reasons many families ( especially educated ones) despair nowadays. So I don't think that would be pretty good. But then its more personal :).




I believe to make things work , it depends on the situation and person. Some of the suggestion stated wouldnt fit every scenario....so act with the heart and mind.
Just be considerate and put yourself in your partner's shoes, you get a clearer vision of the problem then , therefore a better solution.
You are very right, to make things work it does really depend on situation and person, plus surroundings (family members who does weswas like iblees). Acting with heart and mind is kind of really hard, where one might be ready the other wouldn't be, that is ethics (aadab) and feelings (shu3oor). Which most of the time doesn't get together in a human being. What we decide and fix in our heart might not be accepted by our mind, everything collapses.. wish things were that easy... :D lol...

We can considerate, we can put ourselves in others shoes, but we cannot feel the same feeling unless we are the same person. You can only be you, you cannot be your partner, no matter what. So we can only feel upto 70% more is difficult unless we are the person himself. No matter how much open you both could be to each other. Simple theory of our Einstein, if you are as fast as light, then you are light, so if you want to feel 100% as what someone else feels then you have to be that somone. :p

[Haroundb]

I know commitment in the eyes of men, many do know how to start it and very few know how to end it!~

This is just like rushing to the bus without knowing where it is heading! The best idea is not to love someone who sitting next to you in the bus, if you just need him stop the bus take him down and ask him "Where are you going, what is your destination?"

If you don’t understand what the bus is, then you just name it, school, collage, place you work, …etc. Something you ride to reach somewhere. Lots of people do sit next to you, and many of them are wonderful, but unfortunately it is not your destination!

[Tiny Heart]

Amir....
Very true Ur words R...
Not whatever we plan & what would happen...
Mind doesnt always agree with the Heart.

Haroundb....
very Excellent Answer & Example...
U deserve a greenie 4 that :)