Could your success trigger HIS abuse?

[sophis^catrina]

"He made me apologise for who I was, and made me feel that having my own life and dreams was wrong."

She's been promoted. But she knows that her partner won't quite so thrilled with the news. It makes him jealous. She later tells him. She's on the floor, with her husband kicking and punshing her. She takes a new job, a lower status, with less stress, so she can devote more time to his welfare and so she is not abused anymore.

Although this might be an extreme case, but...

What do you think?

What would YOU do in a marriage such as this?

[Jade]

"He made me apologise for who I was, and made me feel that having my own life and dreams was wrong."
What do you think?
What would YOU do in a marriage such as this?

To start with, I hope I will never ever be in a marriage like the one you are dscribing Sophis...to make it clear, that can't even be called marriage... I would call it "entrapment". :cry:

I know that the case you described is extreme...However, many women find themselves entraped in such situations...
(Sophis, I hope you don't mind me sharing another extreme case..)

Someone very close to me, suffered and is still suffering a lot form her husband's jelousy... :(
After many years of hard work and strong discipline, she finally graduated in architecture and started practicing...She had the most wonderful future ahead, waiting for her...she was very talented and loved her job...she couldn't understand her life without it...She was happy doing what she knew how to do best... :)
Later on, she fell in love and got married to someone that was jelous of her success and obliged her to give up all her dreams...give up her work or otherwise he would divorce her and she would never see neither him nor their kids again...As you might imagine, she chose her family...but this decision made her very unhappy... :( :cry: :(


I believe, in a marriage where both partners support and encourage each other...help each other...and look up to each other...
i wonder, how can one even think of stopping one's partner from achieving his/her potential? I think, that would be very selfish and cruel... :(

[Enigma]

I think her husband has huge security/confidence issues and should visit a shrink. If I were in that situation (god forbid) I'd wave bye bye the first time he laid a hand on me. No person should have to apologise for their hard earned work; no woman OR man.

[Kazablanka]

What do you think?

the majority of arab men when looking for their future partner, consider that she has to be of less education, intelligence/intellectuality, and most importantly salary otherwise that would jeoprodize the man being in full control of the relationship/house hold.

I believe that there’s a feeling of insecurity amongst Arab men who are less educated, and it’s a by-product of men socialization… in the majority of Middle Eastern countries men are socialized to be the bread earners and thus the ones who usually have a higher degree of education.


What would YOU do in a marriage such as this?

divorce x 3

screw the guy, he doesnt even love me. If he did, he would be happy for my happiness. However, to avoid all of this, before we got married I would make some things clear, and I'd put them as the marriage conditions and it all has to be written down and shit. You know, I wouldnt marry a guy that thinks in such a way in the first place. And whats this about him beating me up? TFU!

[NaBHaN]

I dont think that work should come over her family! As long as she's reasonable and devotes enough time to the family then the husband should be happy for whatever success she gets..even if it means her being in a better position financially than he is in. A true man would know how to be the head of the house with his attitude and presence..and not by how much he pays..and finally..no man should lay a hand on his wife..no matter what happens.

[CrazyReD]

yup yup nabs said it all

mmm someone is reasonable :p

[Intellective]

A gentle man is that who knows how to control his anger.
This man isnt but an abuser.

What kind of support would i expect from this kind of a man? Someone who isnt happy for me,what i achieve for both of us and our kids.
All in all a man should know how to be man,by standing with his words and not action. Even if the wife is a Professor and he is a dustbin man,all that its outside,once in their house are different people.