Hi to everybody,

:think: Desperate me :os has to write an M.A. dissertation about foreign housemaids and their influence on children in the Arab Gulf. :)
I'm from Tehran and wondering whether you could help me.
I know that many housemaids are treated in a very bad way, that they might be bad for the children's language or even religion, but that's NOT what my dissertation has to be about.
I have to find out what influence housemaids could have on the Character and Behaviour of the children. :think:

An Omani friend of mine told me the following things: Her housemaid was very strict (as this was requested by her parents). If she or her siblings didn't obey, the housemaid beated them. Are all housemaids as strict?

Or do they orientade their behaviour towards the parent's expectations?
Do housemaids have the habit of punishing children, as they have to show to the parents that everything's in control, because otherwise they fear punishment themselves?

My friend said she talked a lot with the housemaids about shopping, TV series, cosmetics (as she got older), but she never had any "deep" conversation with her housemaid as she was older, such as about "the sense of life", her future or other far-reaching topics.
Could I write in my dissertation that this applies to most housemaid-child/ teenager relationships? :think:

If I summarize my friend's experiences and make a generalization, I would say that housemaids make children more open to strangers, less shy, but also more obedient, more spoiled & materialistic (without wanting to say that my friend is like that), but NOT more argumentative or intellectually interested.
Do you think this might be true for the majority of cases?
Yes or No?

I would be so very, very happy about your help ... can't tell you how much! :) :cute:

Hi to everybody,

:think: Desperate me :os has to write an M.A. dissertation about foreign housemaids and their influence on children in the Arab Gulf. :)
I'm from Tehran and wondering whether you could help me.
I know that many housemaids are treated in a very bad way, that they might be bad for the children's language or even religion, but that's NOT what my dissertation has to be about.
I have to find out what influence housemaids could have on the Character and Behaviour of the children. :think:

It's normal and expectble to be influenced with the maid since we usually (who have helpers at home) tend to live 24/7 with them. SO ya they do enfluence everyone from the father to the last sibling around.
Influences might be (What i can think of now):
* Language
* she might bring in some of her cultures
* ok I can't think of any but not only negatives I'm sure others can come up with some positive ones. (She used to teach me how to spell and help me with my spelling so thats a good one)

An Omani friend of mine told me the following things: Her housemaid was very strict (as this was requested by her parents). If she or her siblings didn't obey, the housemaid beated them. Are all housemaids as strict?
Not all of them, it depends. Our housmade could never ever touch any of us, she is there to help around not to dicipline us. I would never (if i ever had one, i hope i wont, but woould never give them the green light to do so. ah it differe's from a housmade to another and from a family and another so it depends again with your values and her personality.

Or do they orientade their behaviour towards the parent's expectations?
to me they should but it doesnt happen all the time, we are humans and i'm sure there are behind the screen actions.
Do housemaids have the habit of punishing children, as they have to show to the parents that everything's in control, because otherwise they fear punishment themselves?
Not with me and my family, they dont have the right

My friend said she talked a lot with the housemaids about shopping, TV series, cosmetics (as she got older), but she never had any "deep" conversation with her housemaid as she was older, such as about "the sense of life", her future or other far-reaching topics.
Could I write in my dissertation that this applies to most housemaid-child/ teenager relationships? :think:
i just think you should make sure to state that this is just one out of million cases, (to be in the safe side)

If I summarize my friend's experiences and make a generalization, I would say that housemaids make children more open to strangers, less shy, but also more obedient, more spoiled & materialistic (without wanting to say that my friend is like that), but NOT more argumentative or intellectually interested.
Do you think this might be true for the majority of cases?
Yes or No?

I would be so very, very happy about your help ... can't tell you how much! :) :cute:

ok i answered what i had in bold. Best of luck working on it and may god bless you..

Dear Najah,

Thank you so much for your post! Probably it depends a lot on how much time you spend with the hms. I guess it's very difficult to make a generalization ... So, you have never been disciplined by your hm? I think it's much better if this job is left to the parents. I know, this question is not so easy to answer, but what is your feeling? Is the majority of the kids disciplined by their housemaid or not?
Is the contact between hm and children very close, or is the housemaid just "hanging around", doing her cleaning & cooking, but otherwise quite detached?

Again, Shukran Najah!

Sorry to say! Not only the kids but sometimes the kids father too ;) :(

Dear Najah,

Thank you so much for your post!
you are very welcomed dear.
Probably it depends a lot on how much time you spend with the hms. I guess it's very difficult to make a generalization . it is
.. So, you have never been disciplined by your hm?
never? Maybe when i was a very little kid and my parents were not around maybe she hitted me sometimes (who knows , i was too young to remember, but infront of my parent and while i know never that happened

I think it's much better if this job is left to the parents. I know, this question is not so easy to answer, but what is your feeling?
my feelings or thought's would be that she doesnt have the right to do so,if she was there as a 'nany' or as a 'dicipliner' then maybe ya maybe but mostly in my case she was there because both my parents work, we needed someone to be at home...etc

Is the majority of the kids disciplined by their housemaid or not?
[b] not the majority, i never met any family, (this is me) whom their helpers dicipline their children! never

Is the contact between hm and children very close, or is the housemaid just "hanging around", doing her cleaning & cooking, but otherwise quite detached?
it ranges, my little cousin was so attched to their housmade, and i think she played a mothers role more than my aunt due to my aunts constant absent. So easily he/she will get influenced and attached. While in the other place, me no i never was attached, it was her doing her job and i'm playing the daughter's role. I got influenced yes but never attached.

Again, Shukran Najah!
your most welcmed sister, may allah bless u

I had to say this because it doesnt allow me to post without writing something, again I answered in bold.

lol you don't miss a forum la :D

If the housemaid abused or try to punich my kids I will kick her *****$ back home!!, and I would say you can't summerize your findings based on one case (your friend) if you want to be transparent then you have to visit some of arab and gulf countries and meet people to get the truth. Unless you want to pass your M.A in easy way!

First of all, Thank you to all! :)

@Najah, I dono know how to thank you enough! :)
The housemaid topic is so difficult to research from Iran (our family has never had any maids). I can imagine that the hm needs some authority, while she is alone with the kids. Otherwise little children could do what they want (might become dangerous...).
Of course, I agree: raising and disciplining the kids is the parent's job!

Sorry, for asking again & again! Do you think most children play or talk with their maids, or do the kids rather play and talk with their parents or siblings?

... i could imagine that most housemaids are very busy with cleaning & cooking, so that they might have some "small-talk" with the kids, while doing that, but that not so much play between maids and children happens. Right??? :think: :)

@ Scorpio27: very, very interesting! :cute:

@amo_l_oman: you -one of a only- obviously, either :)
.... turning-read me... :blush:

@ IceTea, Believe me, there is nothing I would like to do more than taking the next plane! :)
I really don't want to get an easy M.A. ... it's just a money question! I'm not an official organization or statistic administration. So if i took a plane, I would probably find many helpful people, but in order to get a large number of answers, meeting with some families isn't enough.
Establishing contacts and all that would take some time, time which would cost me money, money I donno have. :(

@all: I've just launched a poll in this forum... please participate :)

Many Thanks to all of you again! :) :) :)