If you really love someone would it matter that you were not sexually compatible? Will you able to hold on to your marriage? (e.g say that your partner is into whips and chains and you are not, or that they have fantasies that freak you out... or the plain old, that your partner has a way much higher sex drive that you do?)

Guys please give your input.

As for the ladies, another question, if you find out your husband (say the man you are madly in love with) was cold (physically) would hardly have sex with you... would you seek divorce or would you try to ignore that factor and try and save your marriage?


I'll give my views later.

Well, Ive never been in that situation, no way for me to know. But from what I hear, its extremely important. You HAVE to be compatible.

allah la qal

that wont be fun but i guess gonna have to compromise or smthing

but damn the chains and whips are freaky :mmhmm:

hahaha whips and chains?? lol I agree those stuff are scary man.. why does it have to be violent lol... where's the love in it?

Anyway, I think compatibilty is important.. hmmm I really dont know how to answer your questions. Like, I wouldnt know if i would get furstrated or if I'd be ok with it if my husband was cold.. I guess I really have to live it first!

ok then post ok :p

*raises an eyebrow*

Crazy are you stalking me? everywhere I post.. you post right behind me! lol

nah don't get to happy :p

i'm just so bored so i keep searching for new posts

:D

It’s not only important, it’s essential to be sexually compatible with one another. If you don’t then you can basically screw everything including the great love you hold for one another.

but u can't really find out until ur married i guess

Sex is a Vital issue in married life.

Compromising with Sex drive will definitely make the future life hell.
So think before you marry, you will make life more complex if you get into conjugal life.

If I had such position but I was in love with my partner I wouldn?t break the relation but definitely I would find physical love from friends or other sources.

I am sexy na?!

If neither know what to expect, like when two virgins marry, assuming they are gentle with each other and get the basics right, then anything has got to sem exciting compared to nothing - especially if they have never explored their desires through masturbation. But I'm not sure that happens very often.

I think communication is the key rather than some natural deficiency in one partner. If both can relax and be open and honest with each other about what they want, then they will do fine.

Then there are those happy few who have great sex right from the beginning of a relationship. Yippee :D But one more important point to add: As a 32 year old normal Western man, I have had several sexual partners over the years, since my mid teens. I have to say that the only really great sexual experiences I've had are based on mad, passionate, genuine love. It's the best aphrodisiac there is. If you're not in love, don't bother.

If you're not in love, don't bother.

You've got a point there, but what if you aren't having a good time "sexually" with your partner and after talking about it, it still sucks! then what? :os

Then either you just don't desire each other because the love isn't there (in which case go find the one you love), or you were born to be a nun. Or he's gay: Watch out for tell-tale signs:

- spends a lot of time in the gym
- likes Oprah
- sighs a lot when Boyzone are on the telly

i don't think women in our society will seek divorce if they found out that her husband is not "fit" sexually, they will probably try to live with it!! sex is not an issue that could be discussed freely, between women....its always a "hush-hush" subject.

LOL @ Mimosa

You've got a point there, but what if you aren't having a good time "sexually" with your partner and after talking about it, it still sucks! then what?

Keep talking about it.. until it gets better!

I remember there is a thread saying that "arab men are hot" so where is the problem!

Now if the woman appear to be cold then the guy can marry another wife while maintaining a low profile with his first wife.

i dont think any woman will seek a divorce,they'll try to ignore but they'll be missing some stuff i guess.

i don't think women in our society will seek divorce if they found out that her husband is not "fit" sexually, they will probably try to live with it!! sex is not an issue that could be discussed freely, between women....its always a "hush-hush" subject.


You'd be surprised. They do seek divorce. I know women who are very hot, but got married to cold men, and they couldn't live with it and got a divorce!



Honest to God, la samaha allah, if I ended up with someone cold, I would seek divorce! If the only person who I can seek sexual pleasure from does not desire me as often as I desire him, then there is a very big problem! After all I can talk, share feelings, love without getting married. I can talk and have good times with my friends and family. But it's only with my husband whom I can have sex with, and if he won't please me. Then I will want to get out of it, so that I can seek a fulfilling relationship with another!

I know women who are very hot


What is the definition of a hot woman, beside that don't you think that women do care about their hair as they need to wash it many times as a result?

What is the definition of a hot woman, beside that don't you think that women do care about their hair as they need to wash it many times as a result?

Definition of a hot woman? Very high sex drive.

Not all woman have long hair. Anyway even if they do, they may have very high sex drives and still want it a lot.

Now if the woman appear to be cold then the guy can marry another wife while maintaining a low profile with his first wife.

Well, whats the girl suppose to do - SUFFER?


I know a girl who wasn't being pleased in bed by her partner, so she went out and got a sex "toy". And now she's happy, and they're both happy.....

Honest to God, la samaha allah, if I ended up with someone cold, I would seek divorce! If the only person who I can seek sexual pleasure from does not desire me as often as I desire him, then there is a very big problem! After all I can talk, share feelings, love without getting married. I can talk and have good times with my friends and family. But it's only with my husband whom I can have sex with, and if he won't please me. Then I will want to get out of it, so that I can seek a fulfilling relationship with another!

Woah, you shocked me there! would you honestly seek divorce? I'm sorry but thats sad.. isnt marriage about sacrafice? It might not be his problem that he doesnt have a high sexual drive as you, plus sex is not everything.. you guys could have a wonderful life together with very little of it..

Anyway, you khaleeji girls shouldnt worry about ending up with a 'cold men'.. hahaha I dont think cold men exist in the khajeej (do you think it has to do with the weather?? lol)

Well, whats the girl suppose to do - SUFFER?


I know a girl who wasn't being pleased in bed by her partner, so she went out and got a sex "toy". And now she's happy, and they're both happy.....


:Shock:

Isnt sex all about being with someone you love? more than being it a desire?

I never understood these sex toys... where's the love?

If you really love someone would it matter that you were not sexually compatible? Will you able to hold on to your marriage? (e.g say that your partner is into whips and chains and you are not, or that they have fantasies that freak you out... or the plain old, that your partner has a way much higher sex drive that you do?)

Guys please give your input.

No, I dont think we will. I mean, sex for me is the best way to show to my partner that I love her, so if we have a problem in being sexually compitable, we have some really serious problem in our relationship.

And I dont believe in whips/chains or freaky fantasies...Those are kinda lame =/. What I like is the normal, sweet sex :p.

:Shock:

Isnt sex all about being with someone you love? more than being it a desire?


Yes, it should be ...but some spouses cannot go a lifetime without having good sex. I on the other hand would not divorce my husband for bad sex, if i loved him truly in the first place then i will love him regardless.

(Of course i say that now :rolleyes: )

I never understood these sex toys... where's the love?

I don't agree with it either, i think its gross.

I like what Mim had to say bout sex being better when your in love.

Definition of a hot woman? Very high sex drive.

Not all woman have long hair. Anyway even if they do, they may have very high sex drives and still want it a lot.

A woman is not a sex machine to just think about and want sex 24/7, maybe during the honeymoon the drive is high but latter and after having many kids the desire will be less. Also when the woman become pregnant her desire will drop, so it's not a critical issue for women to worry about.

Well, whats the girl suppose to do - SUFFER?


I know a girl who wasn't being pleased in bed by her partner, so she went out and got a sex "toy". And now she's happy, and they're both happy.....

Well what I said based on her being cold not her partner!

And what she will get out of a toy anyway :rolleyes:

A woman is not a sex machine to just think about and want sex 24/7, maybe during the honeymoon the drive is high but latter and after having many kids the desire will be less. Also when the woman become pregnant her desire will drop, so it's not a critical issue for women to worry about.


What the hell???!!!!!! Not all women are like, same as how not all men are alike. Some women still do have a high sex drive even when they are pregnant! Sex drive does vary!

What the hell???!!!!!! Not all women are like, same as how not all men are alike. Some women still do have a high sex drive even when they are pregnant! Sex drive does vary!

I know not all woman the same, but I think you need to define how many a woman with high sex drive needs sex daily, cuz it's not even healthy for a pregnant woman to practice sex like rabbites!!

Woah, you shocked me there! would you honestly seek divorce? I'm sorry but thats sad.. isnt marriage about sacrafice? It might not be his problem that he doesnt have a high sexual drive as you, plus sex is not everything.. you guys could have a wonderful life together with very little of it..



It depends on how important you place sex as and that varies from person to person. I am sorry, but if he plans to be doing very "little" of it, he is out the door! I didn't get married to live almost like my single life.

I know that according to Islam rulings, you can seek divorce if he refuses to do it with you and strips you of your right.

And I dont believe in whips/chains or freaky fantasies...Those are kinda lame =/. What I like is the normal, sweet sex

LOL we have a romantic bunch here in sabla (me included :p ).

What?! The most important reason why'd I'd even get married, would be because I can't have sex without getting married!

the most important reason is sex? What if you have a wonderful sex life but your husbands an a$$hole..

I think I'd give up sex for being with a guy that loves me crazy! A guy that makes me feel amazing emotionally rather than physically!


I am sorry, but if he plans to be doing very "little" of it, he is out the door! I didn't get married to live almost like my single life.

What if its not his problem, he just doesnt have that itch for it.. would you still leave him? even if you loved him?

the most important reason is sex? What if you have a wonderful sex life but your husbands an a$$hole..




No. I meant in our community since you can't get sex out of marriage, then the main reason to get married would be to take your relationship (where you already have love) further with a guy and be with him physically.

I think I'd give up sex for being with a guy that loves me crazy! A guy that makes me feel amazing emotionally rather than physically!



Love and sex are both very important to me. I need both. I want a guy who loves me like crazy and where the intimacy and respect is amazing and also where our physical desires are in sync. If I don't get one of them, then I doubt that the marriage would survive. They are both essential. I wouldn't give up anything.


What if its not his problem, he just doesnt have that itch for it.. would you still leave him? even if you loved him?



It's something I need. If I don't get it, I'll be very unhappy. I am not that selfless and love would change.

Love is all about both.. satisfaction emotionally and physically..

If you really love someone would it matter that you were not sexually compatible? Will you able to hold on to your marriage? (e.g say that your partner is into whips and chains and you are not, or that they have fantasies that freak you out... or the plain old, that your partner has a way much higher sex drive that you do?)
Though this question was for the men to answer, I will still give my opinion.

Maybe because I had a western upbringing, I was raised to believe and still strongly think that sexual compatibility is very important in a marriage. An long termed incompability will surely be a cause of frustrations and might even lead to the collapse of a marriage.

Of course, it will not be abnormal if there is some little differences between the two partners, but they should be both more or less at the same levels when it comes to what they like to do when they are intimate, or how frequently they want to be intimate, or how they are behaving in such moments etc...

If our partner has preferences that are not really ours, I still believe that we should make an effort to please him in this department...unless he is asking something which really goes against the acceptable. For me whipping out, doing boundings, swinging partners, dressing like babies and others are indeed weird and do not have to be accepted.

As for the ladies, another question, if you find out your husband (say the man you are madly in love with) was cold (physically) would hardly have sex with you... would you seek divorce or would you try to ignore that factor and try and save your marriage?
If my husband was from the begining of my marriage very cold with me or disinterested to have intercourses, I would surely be extremely unhappy about this situation and I would try my best to talk to him about this issue.

No matter how unhappy I would obviously be in that department, I do not believe that I would divorce him automatically only for that. I would still give time to see if there is any change or improvement in his sex drive and might even suggest to see a sex therapist for advise.

I am sure it will be a very difficult position for me, if my husband was very cold in bed, but at the same time a wanderful partner in other areas. It will surely balanced, but again I would still hope that the problem is with him only and not because of me. If it is with him, with patience and understanding it can hopefully be fixed or at least improved; whereas if it is because of his lack of attraction for me only, then the problem will surely be deeper...

.... if I ended up with someone cold, I would seek divorce! ....I will want to get out of it, so that I can seek a fulfilling relationship with another!
Sophis, it is 'easier said than done'. I am happy that you at least agree that sexual satisfaction is very important in a marriage and I hope inshallah that you will find someone who will fulfill all your desires and vice-versa :).

However, know that once you sign your marital contract, there is absolutely no guarantee that the man you love, and who might really love you too, will end up being compatible with you when it comes to sexuality. The same, you might think that you are really good in that department and that you are very compatible with your partner, while in fact he is not 100% sastified with what you are offering him. He will most probably not tell you directly...;).

Now that you are not bond by any contract, it is easy to say that you will divorce your husband on the spot if he is cold in bed. When you are in a marriage,...when you have many other commun strong points bonding you and your partner,...when your life outside the bedroom is good,...when you have also your own children around,...it will not be as easy to just divorce because of sexual incompability or coldness.

....sex for me is the best way to show to my partner that I love her, so if we have a problem in being sexually compitable, we have some really serious problem in our relationship.

If you talk about 'sex', then I am sorry to say that two people don't have to get along in a relationship at all to be extremely sexually compatible in their bedroom.

If you talk about 'making love', then I agree that two people need to love each other and be happy in their relationship to make this step. However, 'being in love' or 'showing love' is not enough to guarantee that you will be sexually compatible with your partner.

Love and sexuality can indeed be too complicated issue sometimes...

Then there are those happy few who have great sex right from the beginning of a relationship.

Who called me ?

I am, of course, madly and passionately in love with my wife.

Wait 6 weeks that Dr. said.


LOL



Hahahahahahahaha

:6:

Quite right Wandy; I remember you saying once "love makes a man young". I've said that a lot too!

By the way, all this stuff about "who's hot and who's not": My own experience tells me that Arab women are very hot indeed, and that Arab men have no idea whatsoever about how to please a women (that's if they are interested in how to please her in the first place). Admittedly the former part is based on a very limited demographic cross-section, but judging by all the sour married female faces around, I think the second part is pretty much a given!

Khalfan: "Guys, how do you give your wife great orgasms?"
Khalifa: "Who cares?"
Ghabish: "What's an orgasm?"

N.B. Just kidding, natch ;)

Sexual compatibility is a must for any couple to maintain a healthy relationship , otherwise as many already pointed out here serious problems would occur ,and it wont be worth maintaining the relationship even if they loved each other. whats the point of love if they're both not really happy?

so let me get this stright, you fall in love with someone, and then you discover that he/she can not satisfy you...so you seek divorce? what about the love you both shared, or was it just an illusion?

I couldn't agree more with Mim....;)

Not about the arab men thing, but men in general are more concerned with getting the "Skeet Skeet" on before they are concerned with how a woman feels. Now i know thats the case with younger men, but i think more mature men are concerned with a womans feelings as well as they're own.

As the song goes "Love is...the strangest thing..what else on Earth could ever bring...such happiness to everything...as love's old stooooryyyyy"...etc.

But a bit of red hot jiggy-jiggy is pretty good too. One is pretty limited without the other.

By the way, all this stuff about "who's hot and who's not": My own experience tells me that Arab women are very hot indeed, and that Arab men have no idea whatsoever about how to please a women (that's if they are interested in how to please her in the first place). Admittedly the former part is based on a very limited demographic cross-section, but judging by all the sour married female faces around, I think the second part is pretty much a given!

Khalfan: "Guys, how do you give your wife great orgasms?"
Khalifa: "Who cares?"
Ghabish: "What's an orgasm?"

It's easy to say also that english men have no clue how to please a woman and treat her like a sexual toy!

And are you making fun of Omani's by stating above names? :rolleyes:

It's easy to say also that english men have no clue how to please a woman and treat her like a sexual toy!

He's got a point there mim.. :hmm:

first when aman loved a women and they got married they gonna have some problems maybe at first ,but then they gonna know the what is wrong..
no marrige without sex..but in the same time sex is not everything in marrige life there are lots of important things in their llist of life come up on the sex!!

the husband and the wife should talk togther about their sexual problems and needs not just to keep that bad feelings inside of them..they have to speak up and talk to each other about it!! to know what is the wrong and what he/she need from each other...
nowaday most of the guys and the girls b4 getting married think about the big night and think that it should be perfect!! and when that night came and they didn't feel what they really was dreaming about they think that there is aproblem with each of them and don't talk about it...thats soo wrong!! they have to talk to know
he should tell his wife thats what i feel and thats what i need!! and u tell me what u feel and what u need....everyone should think about having sex couldn't be perfect between the husband and the wife without knowing the problems!!!

and in our time..there r alot of things could help the
husband and the wife to get agood sex life and to full there needs
.................................................. .
thats what i wanna say
sex its important in the marige life but its not everything.

Quite right Wandy; I remember you saying once "love makes a man young". I've said that a lot too!

By the way, all this stuff about "who's hot and who's not": My own experience tells me that Arab women are very hot indeed, and that Arab men have no idea whatsoever about how to please a women (that's if they are interested in how to please her in the first place). Admittedly the former part is based on a very limited demographic cross-section, but judging by all the sour married female faces around, I think the second part is pretty much a given!

Khalfan: "Guys, how do you give your wife great orgasms?"
Khalifa: "Who cares?"
Ghabish: "What's an orgasm?"

aha!!! what what what??
u said u hread that arabs women r hot...so what??!!
even the arabs men,,,but this is not the point
and btw the arabs men could be the most respecter to women!!
thats why they don't think only how could i get what i want from her!!!
no man....

*yawn*

You guys have no sense of humour sometimes. Anyway, it's not MY fault if Arab women say Arab men are rubbish at it :rolleyes:

so let me get this stright, you fall in love with someone, and then you discover that he/she can not satisfy you...so you seek divorce? what about the love you both shared, or was it just an illusion?Blossom, marriage is a beautiful institution, but someone will lie to you if he says that it is not a complicated one too!

Though as I said in my previous posts, I believe that sexual compatibility is very important (for a relation to be healthy and for creating that positive energy bond between husband and wife), it is a fact that two people who are in love don't necessarily have to find that compatibility.

~ As I replied to Sophis^Catrina in page 1, you might think that you are having a great sex life or sex drive, while in fact your partner might think otherwise. Vice-versa, your husband might think that he is very good in bed, while in fact you might never be really satisfied with what he is doing.

~ Luckily, not all cases are the same and you could be lucky to fall in the category where both, you and your partner, get along extremely well sexually. In such cases, there is a perfect harmony and the exchange of energy between the two of you is simply an amazing experience.

Now, whether you fall in category one or two, once married you will realise that marriage is more than just sex or love making... would you think that seeking divorce would be right? Just imagine if you husband leaves you simply because you are not hot in bed or because you are not fully satisfying him...would it be right?


.

its a "MUST" when u r married!

in casual sex relations anything goes....

satisfying ur partner is mandatory, otherwise why have sex with her/him in the first place if u arent good enough to satisfy her/him?!

....it's not MY fault if Arab women say Arab men are rubbish at it :rolleyes:Mimo, I think it is not right to say to generalise and by saying that 'arab men' are rubbish when it comes to love making.

I agree that, when it comes to sexual sastisfaction, there is apparently often a disharmony found between 'complaining' couples in this part of the world. It is hard to find what is the cause of it, as maybe each case has its individual problems.

This could be due to the fact that, unlike the westerners, some arabs (men and women alike) are not as exposed to sexuality or not as ready to fully explore it, due to their upbringing and religious believes.

It also seems that, unlike westerners, arab men are more 'rough' and do not like to show that they can be soft and gentle, but again this roughness can be a turn on for some women. I know many european girls who prefer arabs to their own men.

Men in this part of the world should not be the only one to be accused. I often hear that arab women are very cold too and for those who are, I am sure there are some reasons behind their behaviour or low libido.

However, like any other countries, I also believe that some men and women are great when it comes to love making, while others are bad and others are in between. Just your luck with who you will end up...thanks God I myself found a real arabian horse :D!

.

thanks God I myself found a real arabian horse :D!

.

Open your eyes mimo :D

Now, whether you fall in category one or two, once married you will realise that [b]marriage is more than just sex or love making... would you think that seeking divorce would be right? Just imagine if you husband lives you simply because you are not hot in bed or because you are not fully satisfying him...would it be right?




You guys please don't take what I said the wrong way round! I said I would leave, but that would be after talking, advising, counselling and compromising a lot. If nothing at all worked out between us and it got too frustrating, and we started having arguments because of that, then it's best we separate. So I meant after lots of compromising and trying to overcome the problem.

*yawn*

You guys have no sense of humour sometimes. Anyway, it's not MY fault if Arab women sayat Arab men are rubbish it :rolleyes:


hmmm..loook my bro we r just telling u the truth ...coz we r arabs!!!
so we know more about ourselves...maybe there r some ppl who said that
arabs arabs ans arabs...but its not right
we don't have to belive everything that we hear from others

u know something arabs men r knowing what the women need..
but its kind of u know something of look of better!!!

((( aaaaaaaaaah i wanna get married :weep: )))

A good honest partner and a super (moderate) partner are essential for conjugal life folks.
In absence of one love may go astray, and life could go hell.

~~~~

In absence of one of them people may derail and go find it in other outsiders.:(

Thats a risk!

toxic honey, you need strong omani horse :)

guess u r right!!

but where r that hourse??!! aaaaah

how luck u r x_press.hope the best ever 4 u in ur marrige life

Do you want me to find you a good horse?

Toxic Beware! :hehe: loooooool

Do you want me to find you a good horse?

hmmmm, let me think!!
yah, yah ,yah yah ... :D
sophis^catrina Toxic Beware! loooooool

don't worry am agirl be 3asr regalah :cool:

Ok then I will PM you the horse I mean to inform you about the progress :D

Ok then I will PM you the horse I mean to inform you about the progress :D

a7m!!! u gonna pm his name or him his self!!!

wanasa...send him now :6:

hahaha whips and chains?? lol I agree those stuff are scary man.. why does it have to be violent lol... where's the love in it?

Anyway, I think compatibilty is important.. hmmm I really dont know how to answer your questions. Like, I wouldnt know if i would get furstrated or if I'd be ok with it if my husband was cold.. I guess I really have to live it first!

Its Not Funny Its Common in Western Countries Whiping and chains.. hahahah

But for you Kaza if your husband happens to be cold, Simply heat him up with heater or pour Hot water... hahahah

OK, OK, I'll stop teasing!!! :think:

There is no correlation that I am aware of between ethnicity and either libido or sexual prowess. OK?! :sabla:

There is no correlation that I am aware of between ethnicity and either libido or sexual prowess. OK?! Though I agree that libido is a personal thing, but it is true that sexuality is variant among ethnic groups.

I always read for instance that, because in most Asian cultures sexuality is linked to procreation while modesty and restrained sexuality are valued, most Asians like Chinese, Japanese are cold sexualy....while for instance Mediterraneans, who are open to sexuality, are not and rather hot.

But don't you think that's cultural rather than ethnic? I mean, like you said before, social attitudes or a reluctance to discuss sex for moral or religious reasons, might leave some people anxious or fearful about sex. Not to mention, as you said also, a reluctance to experiment for the same reasons.

No wonder that some men think "foreplay" is a type of off-road vehicle and premature ejaculation a sign of virility :D

Ok then I will PM you the horse I mean to inform you about the progress :D


Ice, I'm not sure how to ask this about you and your "Stallion", but will you be "pitching" or "catching" ?

:think: