this is a true story, a rather fresh one...

fixed a date with a 31 years old lady & 2day i found out that she is married and has a 4 years old boy :no:

now there is noway whatsoever that ill go out with her, its against my morals, as she has a husband & a child!

for those who r wondering, i was not having in my consciouss to have any sort of physical contact anyway, not bcoz its ramadhan but bcoz there r some other reasons....

my Q:

will u maintain a friendship with someone of opposite sex knowing that he/she is married?

Surely I will, friendship has nothing to do with marriage!!!
http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/gif/sleepy3.gif

In fact I have married friends, unmarried friends and friends :eek:


I don't date with all of them, do I :gap:

Hey, I guess you are suffering from Fasting Trauma :blush:

Chherup have a nonalco..beve.. :laugh: :yes:

Hitman, your story is indeed interesting and it is actually difficult to judge that lady (if we want to judge her!), as we do not know her background nor her nationality.

Many european, american or simply western ladies will for instance accept to go 'for a drink' with a male, if they truely feel that it is just something purely casual...with no 'string attached'.

If this lady views you as a friend or simply like someone interesting to know better, she might accept to go out for a drink or for dinner with you...without necessarily feeling that she has to tell you beforehand anything about her private life or a status.

However, with such background, it might still be a bit peculiar if she accepts to meet you in a very private place... like your flat or a hotel room for instance. This could suggest that she had maybe other intention than just to know you casually.

well i wouldnt like it if i know that my wifez got male frends who aint from the family (atleast)
n I wouldnt make other males feel the same, so i aint gona have a frendship with a married woman jus like that...
well maybe i'll have a frendship but it wont be that tight, u can call it a hi-bye frendship :) :wave:

i would never ever, have something to do with any guy who is married, or attached...i believe that if he should spend more time with his wife/fiancés/Gf instead of talking to other girls

Having a friendship is something totally different than having a relatioship with someone in another level...once a person over-steps thier boundries then the issue becomes moral. I dont mind developing a friendship with a married man as long as the boundries are set and ever one respect the other. Plus i would also make sure that my husband knows the person or had an idea...since i would be cheating him if i dont inform about that sort of friendship

will u maintain a friendship with someone of opposite sex knowing that he/she is married?
Hitman, as Hasnain said, there is nothing wrong to be friend with a married person, at the moment that the relationship is pure friendship and nothing beyond. However, I believe that the husband should be informed of this friendship.

As I said above, it is still important to know that lady's nationality or background, as what is acceptable for one woman to do in one culture might be just the opposite for another. Either ways, it is strange (for me) that she didn't bring her husband along...

One thing which can be said is that this lady seems to have been frank from the start. She clearly mentioned to you that she was well married and had a child. She didn't pretend to be a bachelor.

Now, only you can tell if you both wanted to develop a pure friendship out of this first meeting, or if one of you wanted something else...If it is the first case, that lady should surely inform her husband that she is meeting you. If it is the second case, that lady will probably not inform her husband and this will open another discussion here.

i would never ever, have something to do with any guy who is married, or attached...i believe that if he should spend more time with his wife/fiancés/Gf instead of talking to other girls

This is understandable because of your culture and your way of thinking Blossom. However, do you think that there would be something wrong if you have a friendship with both a married man and his wife?

If you take all the married men in this forum (expl: Mimosa, IceTea, Wandy, Pharmacy113 and few anonymous one I better not mentioned), do you think that it is wrong for you to share a pure friendship with them? This friendship doesn't even have to be a close or important one...

i don't think there would be anything wrong if the wife know, but still i would not do it. you see i will out myself in the woman's shoes (or try 2), and i am sure if it was me i will be very jealous although i know its pure relationship. so why put another woman in such situation which i myself refused to be in?

by the way guys & girls, stop the PURE friendship thing plz...

it never started as a pure friendship, neither was it meant to be one...

i had a doubt from the beginning, as when i observed her hips were way too large!! i knew she had a child!!

Thanks THM for the tip :D Large Hip :)

I guess thats not always true :(

will u maintain a friendship with someone of opposite sex knowing that he/she is married?
nop if the context is your story, maybe yes maybe no if the situation is less hot

when i observed her hips were way too large!! i knew she had a child!!
not always, have a friend 2 years older than me, 4 kids from 20 to 12, she looks like a teen ager and normal hips, but understand your point: i had a pharmacology professor whose theory was that if a girl had strict hips then her ability to deliver a baby was less than a fatty like me :duh:

it never started as a pure friendship, neither was it meant to be one...
:tiered: Then Hitman it is surely wrong what she is doing and I am still wandering why she mentioned at the first place that she is married, if she obviously was looking for something else than friendship?.... or why you didn't ask us the following instead?:"Will you maintain a relationship with someone of opposite sex knowing that he/she is married?"


.

In the pure friendship relation may develop some sort of platonic love and the desire may explode in long run. It?s hard to maintain a relationship with opposite sex if you can?t keep far gap among your relation and you don?t meet frequently.

Am I wrong ?!

Some sort of hidden attraction is very natural though you suppress it or kill it every time it raises its head.

this
my Q:

will u maintain a friendship with someone of opposite sex knowing that he/she is married?

Yes i will maintain a friendship with someone of the opposite sex even if he was married..i would also appreciate his wife knowing that we r "JUST" pals nothing more...
I see no harm in having friends..as long as u know ur limits!

very sad indeed :tiered:

What kind of friendship? Normal hi there friendship with pure intent then nothing is wrong with it, but a doubted freindship that doesnt sound right then it shouldn't be there. I would be a friend with someone i hardely know if his wife would atleast know itsy bits of things about it, specially in the case of working together...etc

If its about a side friendship then my answer would be the same as Blossoms':

you see i will out myself in the woman's shoes (or try 2), and i am sure if it was me i will be very jealous although i know its pure relationship. so why put another woman in such situation which i myself refused to be in?
I do not get close to guys in relationships unless I'm completely certain their partners are okay with it, simply because I myself am not comfortable with my partner having close friendships and I feel obligated to respect the other woman.

If its about a relationship, then no bloody way! Once I know the guy is already in one he's immediately a no-no for me. And in this case its not only about respecting the other woman but why would I want to share my partner? Or be a helping cause of damaging another relationship?

by the way guys & girls, stop the PURE friendship thing plz...

it never started as a pure friendship, neither was it meant to be one...Now that we know that the lady Hitman dated was not there for a friendship sake, I am wandering what will be his next step knowing that she is married? :scratch:

Everyone has diferent intentions when making friends,and some lie to hide the identities or being married,And when you find out you desrespect that person,wel thats my opinion. And some wana have a platonic freindship.They come clean from the start.

And why will the woman date anyway? Maybe she is lacking something in her marriage life,this applies to men as well.

Everyone has diferent intentions when making friends,and some lie to hide the identities or being married,And when you find out you desrespect that person,wel thats my opinion. And some wana have a platonic freindship.They come clean from the start.

And why will the woman date anyway? Maybe she is lacking something in her marriage life,this applies to men as well.
In the pure friendship relation may develop some sort of platonic love and the desire may explode in long run. It's hard to maintain a relationship with opposite sex if you can?t keep far gap among your relation and you don?t meet frequently. Am I wrong ?! Some sort of hidden attraction is very natural though you suppress it or kill it every time it raises its head.

In fact there is no pure friendship
there are two kind of friend

1. Friendship (colleagues and classmates etc.)
2. Platonic (hidden fondness etc.)

:scratch:

fixed a date with a 31 years old lady & 2day i found out that she is married and has a 4 years old boy

lol why you going out with older women? but anyway, how could you not have known she was married? how could you 'fix a date' with someone you barely know?? If you did know her, how come you didnt know was she married? you guys didnt talk about it? you did talk about it and she lied about it? there are alot of details we need to know !!!

will u maintain a friendship with someone of opposite sex knowing that he/she is married?

If her husband is ok with it, yeah. But otherwise, no...

In fact there is no pure friendship
there are two kind of friend

1. Friendship (colleagues and classmates etc.)


This one is what i meant by platonic,no one will come up and make friendship with you and liea,if he/she didnt have other intentions.

Hasny

by the way guys & girls, stop the PURE friendship thing plz...

it never started as a pure friendship, neither was it meant to be one...

i had a doubt from the beginning, as when i observed her hips were way too large!! i knew she had a child!!


Well, sometimes in a relationship between a boy & a girl, both will have different intentions.
I am against any relationship with an attached person. I don't like it to be done to me, therfor, i'm not going to do it to others.
I would say the lady you were about to date has no respect for her husband. That's a damn big sin she is committing. If her husband finds out, he could divorce her & the family will be destroyed the poor kid will suffer.

Sad to say there are many married people date & do things behind thier spouses. I heard about a lady who is from interior, works in Muscat, she takes that chance to date different males. How bad!

HM: Did you date her? How did you observe her hips?
From a pic?
No big deal man. Good step you took though for not dating her. Keep it up & be careful. don't get you self in troubles.

Cheers....

And why will the woman date anyway? Maybe she is lacking something in her marriage life,this applies to men as well.

Intellective..
It doesnt matter what is lacking, She is a Married Women and she should not date anyone, go meet a totaly starnger that very Bad unacceptable. Just wondering and feel sorry to the Poor Husband... Women Women Women!!!!

As XP mentioned if she is a western woman then it's ok with her to meet other guys but if this woman is a muslims woman then it's plain wrong to meet strangers behind her husband back. And it's also not right for the husband to show his wife to his friends like for example sitting togeather because they are still strangers to her unless they are relatives.

Hitman, and why are you looking at her hips!?

mmh i think i would make a friendship with someone who is married, no big deal rite?
but if i notice something is cooking up i'll turn my cards.

Sorry, I hate used stuff.:(

As XP mentioned if she is a western woman then it's ok with her to meet other guys but if this woman is a muslims woman then it's plain wrong to meet strangers behind her husband back. And it's also not right for the husband to show his wife to his friends like for example sitting togeather because they are still strangers to her unless they are relatives.

IceTea makes an excellent point - Muslim women should only cheat on their husbands with other family members - never strangers.


:p

IceTea makes an excellent point - Muslim women should only cheat on their husbands with other family members - never strangers.


:p


eewww thats more disgusting.. :yuk:

I will have friendship even if she is married, but the friendship will be only friendly. Theres nothing wrong being friends with a married woman.

Intellective..
It doesnt matter what is lacking, She is a Married Women and she should not date anyone, go meet a totaly starnger that very Bad unacceptable. Just wondering and feel sorry to the Poor Husband... Women Women Women!!!!

we are WOMEN but we differ.

Then what pushed her to date another man??
Ofcoz she is not satisfied with her man.

mmh i think i would make a friendship with someone who is married, no big deal rite?
but if i notice something is cooking up i'll turn my cards.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaw
Will you date me Now!!!

we are WOMEN but we differ.

Then what pushed her to date another man??
Ofcoz she is not satisfied with her man.

Even If Her Husband Do satisfy her With all His Horse Power
Still Women are Living with Adventure and much demands than what they can Handle trying to be super Human..