hello there,

this is a story of some one who i know very well.


They were married for about 5-6 years, they were a lovely couple, the lady was so lucky to have such a beloved husband and the same with him, they used to care about each other alot and help each other and you will never feel that they are a part, even some people used to envy their love relationship and their marriage.


They have been trying to have kids for years, but with no luck, they thought it was just the matter of time, but then they found out that it is the husband who can not have any kids, and it is nothing wrong with the wife.

The wife loves kids and she alwasy wished to have of her own, but it never happend. but she had accepted the situation of having a marriage life with no kids, because she loves her husband and she will stick to him.

They used to live in another country according to the demand of her husband's job. whenthe job contract was finished they went back to their country, and settled back there.

They used to live in the capital of tha country, and her family used to live in the other side of the country. but she goes to visit them when ever she wants, because the husband had never restricted his wife's life, and she was free to do what ever she wants and she used to get more than what she is asking from him with no demand.

IT happend 2 years ago, that it was the Eid occasion,he asked her if she would want to spend the eid with her family and she agreed, he was normal and he told her that he will not acompany her in the same flight, he will follow her after finishing some work which would take 2 days.

She left and she went to her family and she took her stuff that she will need to use them while her staying in there for few days.
The day after her arrival a post man knocks on her parent's house and he sent a private package that needed to be signed by the wife only, she was surprised and she sigened it and took the package went to her dad and opend the package, all over a sudden she was frezzed, she couldnt believe that her husband sent her her divorce papers.

she started crying and she called him to ask him why, but he only answered with an apology and that he did not mean it to happen in that way, but he couldnt live with him self thinking that he cant give his wife what she always needed which are kids, and that he has no power in giveing her the chance to be a mother of her own.

she told him that it does not matter, they will try to adopt but he refused, he said it wont be the same, and he doe snot want her to live the rest of her life with a man who cant have any kids, so he divorced her to give her the freedom to find another man and she will have kids with that man and live the rest of her life happy.

But she kept refusing all the things that he was saying because she only wanted to stay with him the rest of her life as a wife to him, but her words did not change his mind at that time, and he just told her that he will sent the rest of her stuff plus she can ask any thing from him to provide her financely and on top of that he already set her monthly payment more than what she used to get when she was with him.

it has been about 2 years now since this all happend, she is still singl/divorced staying with her parents and crying every day, and he is still single/divorced staying with his mother in the other city. Non of them ever married since, and their contact has been so offical.

the mother of the husband still visits the wife and she tells her that he is still thinking of her, but he cant go back to take a step of returning her back because he thinks that her happiness is not with him as long as he cant have any kids.
====================================

SO,

This is a summary of the story.


*What do you all think of it?


*What do you think of the husband action?

*Did he really had the right to divorce her without consulting her first?

*Do you think that the wife should go on with her life, even though she knows that the husband still wants her, but he is not confident or sure about him to make her happy?


*What should the wife do?

*If you were in either of the position[ wife or husband] what would you have done, or what would your reaction be?

*Did he choose the right timing, as it was 2 days before eid time?


You are free to add any thing , you dont have to answer my questions.

feel free to discuss this matter:)
:angel: :love: :shy: :blush:

*What do you all think of it?
its a sad story for real, but i think that the husband made it worse :shut:

*What do you all think of it?
I think its selfish, maybe he thought it'll make her happy, but dint realize that her happiness is to be with him, not only to have kids

*Did he really had the right to divorce her without consulting her first?*
nope!

*What should the wife do?
pray to god to wake one day n see herself back in her REAL house again!

*If you were in either of the pocition[ wife or husband] what would you have done, or what would your reaction be?

well I wouldnt have changed nythin if i was the husband, on the contrary, my relationship with my wife will be tighter, cuz she showed that she loved me for me

*What do you all think of it?


*What do you think of the husband action?

*Did he really had the right to divorce her without consulting her first?

*Do you think that the wife should go on with her life, even though she knows that the husband still wants her, but he is not confident or sure about him to make her happy?


*What should the wife do?

*If you were in either of the pocition[ wife or husband] what would you have done, or what would your reaction be?



* its really sad story ,,, but its really happening alot ,,,

* he just made the worng action of his life

* nop ,,, he should sit and talk with his wife and they should come up with the right action ,,,

* as i see ,,, they love each other ,,,, and i dona think she can goon with her life ,,,, she will keep thinking of him ,, even if she try to have her own life she cant,,,

* i think she should try to go back to him ,,, she can keep tyring here best ,,, and maybe the can make it ,,,, as i see both of them still can complete his/her life withour the other ,,, so maybe

* if am in the wife place ,,, i will never stop trying to go back ,,, cause i do love him and i know he love me ,,, and each of us cant forget the other ,,,

I am just shocked dear friends, It's cruel too. May be the husband is suffering from inferiority complex. I would never do that if i was the husband.

:(

*What do you all think of it?
:eyes: this was really shocking as i was reading the story i was expecting the wife to cheat on him or vise-versa...but anyway it's a very bad ending to a wonderful love and life :sorry:


*What do you think of the husband action?
Selfish, he should have thought wisely be4 making anymove ..but also perhaps he was trying to be caring and considerable for the sake of his wife and her happiness...very confusing indeed! :lost:

*Did he really had the right to divorce her without consulting her first?
No he did not have the right to divorce without consulting her becuase she as a wife has a right to take a decision too...perhaps if they talked over it nothing like this would have taken place.... :no:

*Do you think that the wife should go on with her life, even though she knows that the husband still wants her, but he is not confident or sure about him to make her happy?
Well if the wife has begged him to b 2gether as one again and he has refused what more can she do even if he still wants her then why the heck is he not taking her back :bored: ...i know it's not easy to move on and to love someone that u can't get back again is very painful..but does she have any other option if the man is totaly refusing to take her back??? I guess as hard as it would be she should try and move on with her life...To every loss there is a gain!


*What should the wife do?
She should go to the husband face to face speak abt it talk abt the wonderful memories explain to him that if she is not back with him then there is no happiness for gods sake the if he wants her to b happy then he should b with her becuz THAT IS happiness considered to her! And if he still is on his silly opnion of not going back then as i suggested above she should just move on with her life..


*If you were in either of the pocition[ wife or husband] what would you have done, or what would your reaction be?
If my husband carried out such a stupid act I would confront him and tell him that my only happy life is with him..and if he is so blind to notice that..then i will just move on with life...do i have any other option anyway! :tiered:

*What do you all think of it?

Stupid Really they both are hurting and the wife clearly didn't want to get divorced

*What do you think of the husband action?

as i said above stupid and irrational she told him she was happy like this

*Did he really had the right to divorce her without consulting her first?

*Do you think that the wife should go on with her life, even though she knows that the husband still wants her, but he is not confident or sure about him to make her happy?

with all thats going on both should move on

*What should the wife do?

I'd go and see with an Imama if the divorce is valid, It wasn't something she wanted and i'm :duh: about the reason

*If you were in either of the position[ wife or husband] what would you have done, or what would your reaction be?

Well I'd ask my wife if she felt she'd be better then by all means I won't stop in her way of happiness

*Did he choose the right timing, as it was 2 days before eid time?

nope he didn't choose the right timing or the right action

I really want to give the husband some credit Maskeen you never know whats going on in his head and heart so let us not put all the sour on him.. I think she can't do anything after signing the Divorse paper? Why did she sign it if she didn't aprove it?
When you believe in things you want they happen, if she insisted and involved people around him and went to him to discuss this maturally he might've leaned toward it, there isn't like humans heart, he is in love with her and he did it for her so he could've backed the bad desicion he made.

Subhan Allah, this is just one SAD story.. Is this true SOlafa. May god bless them both and if they wont meet again in here they will inshallah in janna.

if any of the females here r sterile, what options will they give to the husband?

what a sad story.... Can you hear the violins? :(

Some of Life's hardest struggles come with marriage... that's why Marriage is half of your deen. The guy has something up his butt. I dont think he wanted a divorce just cuz he wasnt able to have kids. That is so bullsh*t. There is something suspicious about the story.. something is wrong. There is a part we dont know.

I'm really brain-dead right now. the questions are too hard to answer. I'll come back tomorrow.

I think the husband sounds very selfish, immature and too dominant. Its not his place to go ahead and decide the fate of another person, or the marriage two people equally put all their hearts into. He should have approached her with the topic and let her decide for herself. She and only she, should be the one to decide how she wants things to be. Perhaps yes, he felt that he was doing her good but in this society, hardly anyone will marry a divorced woman of so many years so he's just ruined the shared life & happiness she could have had with him and robbed her of even more than she had before.

If I was in her place I would be sh!t pissed that my husband didn't have enough caring in him to let me decide who I wanted to be with. No matter what anyone says only YOU know what's best for you. I would have stayed (providing he was a loving and wonderful husband and worth it!) and just adopted children. I don't think there is much of a point of having kids with someone whom you don't love as much as another man.

Hitman, if I were the sterile one then I would give him the option of leaving me. If not then we could adopt, but I ain't no take-another-wife kinda girl.

Hitman, if I were the sterile one then I would give him the option of leaving me. If not then we could adopt, but I ain't no take-another-wife kinda girl.
ok the option u mentioned first is "LEAVING U", so why is he selfish then?

adopting would be a bad idea & another wife is even worse!

either leave or live together the way it is!

ok the option u mentioned first is "LEAVING U", so why is he selfish then?

No, I said the guy was selfish because he just DID it without any notice beforehand and without discussing it with her. While in my case I said I'd give him the option. Geddit?

And why is adopting a bad idea?

he didnt give her notice, ops sorry, i just read the heading and posted, didnt read the posts...

its a bad idea, bcoz the kid is not urs! my personal opinion!

Its a very sad story, i feel sorry to the wife.
i think this man was lucky to have such a wonderful wife, she didnt care to have kids coz of his problem, now she i shurting coz of him. He should think twice before he made the decision, or at least he should have talked to her and hear her out. Talking to her face to face,maybe would have been better for the wife than sending her a package of letter.

*What do you all think of it?
*Very sad


*What do you think of the husband action?
*Stupid

*Did he really had the right to divorce her without consulting her first?
*NO,he should have consult her first.

*Do you think that the wife should go on with her life, even though she knows that the husband still wants her, but he is not confident or sure about him to make her happy?
*Well,if she di dtry talk to him and still h einstst not to take her back, its beter for her to go on with her life, Its hard but thats what she should do now, Its hopeless.


*What should the wife do?
*Go on wiht her life.

*If you were in either of the position[ wife or husband] what would you have done, or what would your reaction be?
*If i was a husband i wouldnt divorce her at all,will try every way even go to sperm bank and try to have tube baby.

If i was the wife, i dont know how i would react really,definetly i'll be heart broken, and shocked,i'll try to talk to him if there is no use, i'll follow what my brain says, coz if i folow my heart i'll not move an inch in my life.

*Did he choose the right timing, as it was 2 days before eid time?
*He shouldnt do that before EID,at least he would have consider her happiness first than his stupid action

Stupidity:bang:

I fail to see why adoption is a bad idea. I think adoption is a great idea for anyone, taking a child who has nothing, and giving them something. Of course, I dont blame anyone who would prefer to have their own child: adoption is very difficult to come to terms with, and some people find it difficult to accept the fact that the child isnt your flesh and blood.

well the man's act was very unselfish - he didn't do it for himself, he thought he was doing what was best for her!! so its really very sweet, as im sure it was VERY hard for him to do. unfortunately it turned out horribly wrong, as none of them moved on, which means that they still want to be together... so he didn't have to do that.

its not too late though, they can still get back together, right? he made a mistake, he can undo it!

I dont think that he had the right to decided where her happines lays and for him to take the whole matter into his own hands. If she said she was fine and accepts gods will then who is he to say no to it? he should have been thankful that she stood by him even though its his fault they cant have kids and cherished her more after it..instead of letting her go that way.

such a looser.

well the man's act was very unselfish - he didn't do it for himself, he thought he was doing what was best for her!! so its really very sweet, as im sure it was VERY hard for him to do. unfortunately it turned out horribly wrong, as none of them moved on, which means that they still want to be together... so he didn't have to do that.

its not too late though, they can still get back together, right? he made a mistake, he can undo it! i dunno fatamo i mean it's been two years they should get over it and move on.. he was kinda selfless but he should've listened to her when she told him how much she loved him.. oh well..

such a looser. come on that's kinda harsh.. he did what HE thought was best he probably didnt think it fully through..

well i seriously think he's a looser.. to run away like that..and put her in much more pain than she already was in.

Its a very sad situation i cannot even adjust my thought to post in this thread....they should have placed thier faith in God...instead of deciding on a misrable faith for both

Very Very SAD Story.... :weep: :weep: :weep:

sallam all

thank your for your posts.

This is a real story, and both the wife and the husband are well known to me.

What i have typed above is what i have been told by the wife.

i know it is a sad story i was so sad to hear that from her, and more sad to see how she is and her situation is not easy not on her only but as well as the husband.
am still sad for both of them, cause no one would have expected such thing to happen from them.

=======================================


Many of you thought that the Husband is a loser and he was selfish to take such an action with out the wife taking part in the divorce.

I agree that he made a mistake, but thinking about it 2, that if the husband did not love his wife, and did not think of her happiness to have a beloved husband and kids, then he wouldnt have taken that step.

But at the same time he should have tkaen her back when she asked him to do that for the sake of their love, but i recon that he was and he is still afraid to face the people with his mistake and he feels ashamed of going back to take her, as it was him who left her not her. And i think it all goes back to the matter of the Man's Pridness.

i dont think that the guy is a loser OR selfish. it sounds as though he tried to do what he thought would at least bring someone happiness; the woman had always wanted children and he actually sacrificed their marriage for that desire of hers, which is a natural thing to want. in hindsight, i guess the guy is regretting his actions and wondering whether he made the right choice. i hope they get back together!! marriage and divorce isn't like a toy you can just play around with depending on whims and fancies... there has to be more reason than that to want a divorce.

sallam all

I agree that he made a mistake, but thinking about it 2, that if the husband did not love his wife, and did not think of her happiness to have a beloved husband and kids, then he wouldnt have taken that step.

And i think it all goes back to the matter of the Man's Pridness.



But the wife agreed staying with him,no matter what. Atlesat he should have been reateful to her.

Wel he thought it would be the best for her,but he ruined her, anyways lets hope its turns out to be for the best inshallah.

I feel so sorry for the husband,,he mite be stil young to stay unmarried all his life, He must be really brave to face this life alone, and no one close to him to talk to, although he'd have sisters andbrothers but they mite not be closer like his wife was or would have been.

ALLAH will always be with him.

But the wife agreed staying with him,no matter what. Atlesat he should have been reateful to her.

Wel he thought it would be the best for her,but he ruined her, anyways lets hope its turns out to be for the best inshallah.

I feel so sorry for the husband,,he mite be stil young to stay unmarried all his life, He must be really brave to face this life alone, and no one close to him to talk to, although he'd have sisters andbrothers but they mite not be closer like his wife was or would have been.

ALLAH will always be with him.
HELLO DEAR

i know what you mean, but many people above were blaming him, and not really taking in concern his feelings the way you are taking, along side with the feelings of the wife2.

.. oh goodness.. very sad indeed!!

.. i think if she loves him and wants to live with him for what the matter is then he is wrong abt the divorce which is the obivous..

.. there would many solutions.. as she suggested that they adobt a kid...

.. but also i give him a credit that he appreciated her loving for having kids.. she deserves to have kids and enjoy her life..

.. my opinion.. i think she can still love him but that decision was on spot for both favors!!

.. hope her a better life!

.. oh goodness.. very sad indeed!!

.. i think if she loves him and wants to live with him for what the matter is then he is wrong abt the divorce which is the obivous..

.. there would many solutions.. as she suggested that they adobt a kid...

.. but also i give him a credit that he appreciated her loving for having kids.. she deserves to have kids and enjoy her life..

.. my opinion.. i think she can still love him but that decision was on spot for both favors!!

.. hope her a better life!
hello chatty

U have a similar opion to mine.

but it is very hard to live with a love feeling to some one that you can be with all the time and next to each other.