okay .. first of all family background:
ur husband died about a year or 2 ago, and he was relatively young.. in his late 40's, early 50's.. u have 2 sons and 2 daughters..
both sons are off abroad in university.
Ur left with ur 2 girls, with a fairly good job but still have to cope raising the family on ur own. Now because u are a woman, the house is not totally entitled to u, it is in the name of the eldest son.
Now the eldest son who is in college abroad, has found a western girl he wants to marry, at the age of about 22 years. He has failed a year of college because of this girl, and all his allowance goes to her, to buying expensive gifts. He comes back home for the holidays only to let the mother know that he wants to get married to this girl, who is about the same age is him, and will stay abroad and get himself a job.
He is jobless, still has about one more year to go to finish college, and wants to marry this girl.
Now, this is the eldest son.. he is supposed to be the head of the family, supposed to be the one that is responsible for the family, when all of a sudden he wants to ditch the family for this girl. Obviously the mother is against them marrying, as there is nobody to support them, and so the son demands for his inheritance money, as well as the house.
He threatens to take her to court, and get his inheritance money, as well as the house, he can kick the family out for living there, and sell it off to support him and his new-found love.
On top of this, one of the daughters have just finished high school, and instead of going abroad for university and having fun during her young years, she decides to stay in oman and go to a university here, to help her mother financially, and emotionally with her pains in life.
The daughter goes out and helps when she can, buying weekly groceries and so on.. and so she has to grow up way before her time, because of the eldest son..
She has to suffer because of his actions.

As a mother, or a member of the family.. what would u do in this situation? and what are ur thoughts.?

My thought woould be confused .. I would feel as the arab say: "ma rabait"

but when I get over my emotions I would think logicly ..

I will try to win my sons heart .. no matter what I am still his mom!! try to get his emotions to lead him towards me ..
if it didnt work, maybe convince him that I am not aginst the marraige but the timing .. and he needs a year or two till he is realy on his feets and think seriously about marraige.

Regrding the property, I fail to see why the house is in the name of the eldest son!! ok, I know he is a guy but his other bro is entitled to the same inheritance as him! and his sisters would do the same!
I would think he doesnt own the house with himself .. if thats the case .. then what can he do? sell the house? I would try to find a family memebr who would buy it and who I would trust that when the house is needed he will sell it back to the son again.

the court option is scary, and it means am not dealing with my son .. but a monster!

As for trying to reason with the son, the fact that he is abroad makes it almost impossible. He has lied his way to both sides of the family, just to get a family member on his side, to help him marry this girl. He desperately wants to marry this girl for some reason or other, and couldn't care less about what his mother says.

whats more than "3oqooq ilwalidain* :( this is very sad, really sad.

Speaking Idealy, I think the mom should wait and have patient with him. I would give him what he want, and will let him drink from his own posioned portion that he chosed (22 is not young), he can manage and do whatever he wants. I will tell him to do whatever he wants and will not interfere and if he wants to throw me and his sister's out, he can go for it but Allah will never let me alone. (Inshallah she has sister's families who can support her).. And then i will pray day and night for Allah's guidance.

Getting someone he likes (a relative, or elder person) to talk to him then it will be more than perfect, because sometimes there are lack of communication.

Trust me the "elders" as well as the people he respects have sat him down a while ago and talked to him rationally, but he just wont listen.. 3aneed! he's stubborn and selfish. As it is the mother doesn't want him to marry a foreigner, but the coldness of this act is bothering her.