Unmarried Women — Alarming Statistics

Depending on the societies they live in, when unmarried girls reach a certain age which differs from society to society, people begin to refer to them as “old maids” or “spinsters”.

Especially in Arab countries, people still look upon a young unmarried girl as though she were to blame for her state. Fingers are pointed accusingly at her regardless of the reasons or her own circumstances. The girl soon becomes the butt of ridicule, accusations, and meddling by those around her and even those closest to her.

The reasons for the girl’s delay in getting married or in not getting married at all are many and varied. There are social circumstances and pressures that drive a girl to study and to work in order to become financially stable.

There are also other reasons such as high dowries. Then there are families which demand that a prospective suitor have certain characteristics or else they will not allow their daughters or sisters to marry him.

NOW What do girls in OMAN say about why they are not married? How much do they suffer because they are not married? Can a girl begin a new life and start a family no matter how late?

I think the mentality of the society should change to accommodate such women. It is not by choice that the girl is sitting at home, i mean you don’t expect her to marry just anyone and also you don’t expect her to run around the streets looking for her life partner.

I think parents pay a big role in more than one aspect of this situation: they are the ones who determine who the girl marries, they are the ones who can control emotional abuse (accusing the girl of not getting married) Even though there might be a justifiable reason for a girl to delay her marriage it doe not mean that the women in question should be accused or abolished by those around her.

Yes it's a problem and girls should think about it seriously. The more delay in getting married the hard for them to get selected by a husband.

i don't get you guys!! its not like its up to the girl to get married, usually the guy is one to propose. so what should a girl do if no one did? ice tea you make it sound like the blame should be placed on the girls only, when actually in every problem there are 2 sides to blame....come to think of it, in the case of marriage its more than 2 sides!!
maybe if the parents stopped being picky, maybe if the guys stopped looking for a pretty doll as a wife, or maybe if we were living in another world, things would've been different!!

What do girls in OMAN say about why they are not married? How much do they suffer because they are not married?
-I'm sixteen i have a long way to go!

Can a girl begin a new life and start a family no matter how late?
-Ofcourse! i mean whats the difference??? If she gets a husband then she can def. start a family... well unless shes passed 50 lol then it'll only be companionship

I don't get this.. you make it sound as if its in the girl's hand to get married or not.. what if there were girls no one proposed to? what do you suggest they do? walk around screaming "come and marry me" :bored:

there are unmarried girls cuz there are standards in the society and some girls don't apply to those standards.... at least that is why most ppl think..

Some girls have other plans than getting marriage!

I think the problem is that some girls are picky, a good guy will come to propose but they will have silly excuses like:

- I'm not ready (but she is ready in fact)
- I want to complete my study (but she can get married and study)
- I want to have my full freedom first (silly reason!)
- I want to search for my prince and love to death before getting married.

Yes it's a problem and girls should think about it seriously. The more delay in getting married the hard for them to get selected by a husband.


So what do you suggest ???????????????

getting married to anyone ???? or just post announcements on paper and magazines??????????

I think the problem is that some girls are picky, a good guy will come to propose but they will have silly excuses like:

- I'm not ready (but she is ready in fact)
- I want to complete my study (but she can get married and study)
- I want to have my full freedom first (silly reason!)
- I want to search for my prince and love to death before getting married.


well these reasons arent applicable to some girls.......

I think the problem is that some girls are picky, a good guy will come to propose but they will have silly excuses like:

- I'm not ready (but she is ready in fact)
- I want to complete my study (but she can get married and study)
- I want to have my full freedom first (silly reason!)
- I want to search for my prince and love to death before getting married.Or

-No thanks ... I don't care to be your second, third or fourth.

Picky girls with silly excuses :rolleyes:

some girls find lots of guys willing to marry them, and the girls are willing too, but most of the time its the parents who want someone better for her, and so they refuse.. because of their nationality, or education, or because they earn less salary.. things like that..
until in the end nobody wants their daughter.. so i guess its the parents good intentions which turn out to be bad..
"you snooze, you lose"!!

- I'm not ready (but she is ready in fact)
- I want to complete my study (but she can get married and study)
- I want to have my full freedom first (silly reason!)
- I want to search for my prince and love to death before getting married.

My thoughts Exactly! :scratch:

So what do you suggest ???????????????

getting married to anyone ???? or just post announcements on paper and magazines??????????

I suggest that they stop being "daloo3at"!

The should understand that this life is temporary and they should enjoy it while they are still young and have the ability to give and not only take.

Or

-No thanks ... I don't care to be your second, third or fourth.



Well that is another reason of being picky, they refuse being a 2nd wife and prefer to stay without hasband and wait even if the man is able to make them happy. :yes:

Marriage & enjoyment?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No WAY!! :rolleyes:

Why No way?

Why No way?

Cauz marriage means responsiblity & the person should free him/her self totally from any future plans inorder to success... at least this is what I think!

Marraige is responsiblity yes, but this is life good and bad things in it. You know we are not living in a perfect life this is not heaven. But still a marraid couple should try hard to live a normal life while holding the responsibilities.

Are you suggesting you want to stay single cuz of the responsiblities?

I've often wondered what is the right age for marriage ?

male = .. years

female = .. years

Could someone be kind enough to give which class of society suffers more on lack of marriage.

I happen to know some top cycles guys hardly people come forward because they fear to approach a certain binto as she is a relation of an Excellency :rolleyes:



.

Are you suggesting you want to stay single cuz of the responsiblities?

I said the person should be totally ready to make such step, not do it for the sake of following society traditions or the fear of dying single, Die single so what?!!

I think the problem is that some girls are picky, a good guy will come to propose but they will have silly excuses like:

- I'm not ready (but she is ready in fact)
- I want to complete my study (but she can get married and study)
- I want to have my full freedom first (silly reason!)
- I want to search for my prince and love to death before getting married.

Ice Tea i don't think you read my post above!!
its not awlays the girl's fault, she can't propose to a guy, or promote herself to get married!!
all the possibilities you mentioned are in case if someone proposed, but what happens if no one did? who is picky here?

From what I can see, from the few young unmarried girls whom I talked to in this country, is that they seem to be for most very choosy when it comes to who should be their future husband.

I think it is normal to want a man with many qualities, but many seem to want Mr.Perfect which I am afraid doesn't exist. When we tell them that they are way too picky and continuoulsy refuse many good proposals when themselves are not perfect too, they suprisingly don't find at all that they are too demanding at all.

The problem is that the more they wait for the ideal man to knock on their door, the more time passes (if not years) and at the end they end up alone. What doesn't help is that the young generation in Oman is booming and many men still unfortunately have the mentality that a girl in her mid-twenties is already too old for them.

Secondly, I also noticed that many girls in Oman seem to evoluate/or mature in a different way then men in Oman and probably education plays a great role into their maturity.

It seems in fact that a girl in a mid twenties should settle for a man in her thirties or more to get that desired balance, but usually most men of that age are already married to someone else. Young men here would rather prefer to go for a very young girl...

If a girl chooses to leave the idea of marriage until later, then it's her choice, and everyone else should respect that.

Marriage is important, but I don't believe that life stops just because a girl is not married. There are other things that might be a priority in a girl's life, and as soon as she settles down and finds THE RIGHT PERSON (it's not about getting married for the sake of it only, it has to be for the right reasons), then I don't think that any girl would mind, unless she has her own reasons.

Our societies need to get over this whole single women issue. There's nothing to be ashamed of, and there's nothing wrong with it.

Different women have different conditions. You can't generalize the problem on everyone.

I said the person should be totally ready to make such step, not do it for the sake of following society traditions or the fear of dying single, Die single so what?!!

And when a girl will be ready in your opinion? When she become spinster "3anis"!

all the possibilities you mentioned are in case if someone proposed, but what happens if no one did? who is picky here?

I don't believe that no one will propose for a girl is a common problem, yes there are exceptions and could be due to some factors. Also the parents should have a role when this happen, there is nothing wrong that the father does the propose for his duaghter to save her waiting diseases.

There is a time and place for everything in life.....when a girl feels that she is ready to get married she would make the right decision and should not rush into a marriage for the sack of being a statistic in the married register

Our societies need to get over this whole single women issue. There's nothing to be ashamed of, and there's nothing wrong with it.



If we see a lot of single women in the society then it's a problem.

Ice T, dont be biased ya 2akhee!
Dont say them and they, minmize your pointings..

I met both, those who got proposed and are not ready, those who got proposed but for some reason the guy is not good for them and those who didn't get proposed.

Blame as much as u want and i will support you with all i can about those who refuse for no reasons, but if the girl has her VALID reasonable reasons then please stop and reconsider it, as marriage is written and its all naseeb. If our chance wasn't writing then blaming is just a word everyone use's.

I find this very personal, and everyone has the freedom to chose and plan for their own desired life. No one i can think of would like to stay single and never create a small nest..

God bless everyone, and inshallah everyone will get his/her soulamte.

Any Advertisement for single Ladies in Local paper under MATRIMONIAL will do

Is that possible?
Yes it can be done

Others has done it before

So I dont see why our ladies cant do it.

Do we have a One Big Time Majority of Unmarried Woman in OMAN... Yes we do and Number are keep rising.. and something has to be done about it before its too late...

Let us think wisely, logically and sensiable how to sort this Problems in our community

Some girls have other plans than getting marriage!

Best Women plan is having a secure life and that's Having a Husband, children, other Plans are just Bonus to her But not Neccesary, and should not be a Blocker to her having a Husband,

Jobs, Study, Position thats not everything to her !!!

Best Women plan is having a secure life and that's Having a Husband, children, other Plans are just Bonus to her But not Neccesary, and should not be a Blocker to her having a Husband,

Jobs, Study, Position thats not everything to her !!!

Are you a woman? I believe that the woman should decide what's best for her. Most women nowadays believe that being financially independent is the most important thing at first, then catching a husband. And I agree wih them. Women know what's best for them.

Sophy, that is the problem with today woman they feel insecured for no reason and because of that fake feeling they the follow what you said believe that being financially independent is the most important thing at first, then catching a husband. And what is the result at the end, each of them will spend many years studying, working hard but latter they will relize that what they made a mistake as no husband, no family and no kids.

And they forgot also that "Al-janah ta3t aqdam alumahat"!!

^^^ Icey, you forgot one thing, being financially important is very important. For example, after having five children with the husband, the husband dies. Who will look after her children if she cannot work? Yes, her family, but it will be like charity and many people will not want to support. Rather than her going through all that stress, if she is able to work, then she can support her children herself. I've seen many families where the man divorces his wife having five children. The wife can give kids to the man to support, but most mothers don't ever want to give up their kids. If they don't work it's very stressful for them.

Or if the husband is abusive. Long time ago divorces used to occur rarely, coz women used to depend on their husband financially, so they could not walk out if treated badly. If she can work, there is a smaller chance of her husband abusing her for fear that she will walk out on him as she is independent.

It is very important for a woman to be financially independent for her own safety. Not all women have amazing fathers and brothers who will be willing to look after them. That's just in utopia.

Marriage is important, both to the individual and the community, but ultimately its an individual choice. However, that does not mean that a couple should just live together without getting married/go through numerous casual relationships. We're talking marriage as opposed to a single life, not marriage as opposed to other types of relationships, and its important to remember that when arguing the case.

^^^ Icey, you forgot one thing, being financially important is very important. For example, after having five children with the husband, the husband dies. Who will look after her children if she cannot work?

And if she dies latter who will look after them!!

I'm not saying women shouldn't work but when taking studying and working as a higher periority comparing to marraige then here is the problem which can lead to a lot of spinsters in the society. What is stopping women from getting married and complete their study and work latter if they want?.

the need to be a good wife and mother that what stops her!! you make it sound so easy to study and be a wife and a mother at the same time. i know several women who refused offers to do higher studies cause they felt that it won't be fair to their families. maybe if guys were more understanding and helpful things would've been much easier.
and what is the problem if a woman got married in her 30s or 40s? i will tell whats the problem...its men!! they all want young girls, and to them a woman who is over 30 is out of the market!!
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off-topic
sophis i wanted to give you a rep, but i need to distribute my points :D

Are you a woman?

Exactly Sleyum!! :rolleyes: cauz u r not in a position that allows you to talk about women opinions?!!
Between do u find the Married Female University students happy to say what you r saying??!

Are you a woman? I believe that the woman should decide what's best for her. Most women nowadays believe that being financially independent is the most important thing at first, then catching a husband. And I agree wih them. Women know what's best for them.

sophis^
I respect your opinion and your Judgements
But dont forgter we live in the Arab Wold, and not In western your Mind settings matches with that of Western thinkining while we are not Western, Women well should be given oppurtunity to certain extent knowingly that they are weak in almost everything. and Family should be there to watch their movement and to help them when they get stuck and always they will DO!!

Women without a Husband she isn't complete :yes:

and what is the problem if a woman got married in her 30s or 40s? i will tell whats the problem...its men!! they all want young girls, and to them a woman who is over 30 is out of the market!!
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off-topic
sophis i wanted to give you a rep, but i need to distribute my points :D

Blossom
exactly that's the whole point Women they become too choose until they cross over 30yrs +. and then its too late for them to catch any Husband unless miracles happens, they become lame duck. The point is why Women dont make up their mind while they are still young attractive and open, their is stakes in life in here with such bad decision and delays, Women have to wake up and balance their priorities.

Exactly Sleyum!! :rolleyes: cauz u r not in a position that allows you to talk about women opinions?!!
Between do u find the Married Female University students happy to say what you r saying??!


el7ilwa..
Surely I dont need to be a Women to talk on their behalf, But being a Noble Man I have much feelings towards Women ongoing sagas and for those unmarried and tried to put myself in their shoes to see how the tough keep going..

sophis^
I respect your opinion and your Judgements
But dont forgter we live in the Arab Wold, and not In western your Mind settings matches with that of Western thinkining while we are not Western, Women well should be given oppurtunity to certain extent knowingly that they are weak in almost everything. and Family should be there to watch their movement and to help them when they get stuck and always they will DO!!

Women without a Husband she isn't complete :yes:

LOL, Sleyum you caught me there :laugh: My mind settings does match how westerners think somehow.

BUT

I have seen many Omani Divorcee women having lots of problems, because they are uneducated (uni) and therefore cannot work. They have fathers and brothers, but most of the time they get limited help.

I know someone who has five children and being the mother, wishes to keep them. She has no money. Her father tells her that he can tell her in, but not her children. That the children should go to their father. But their father is married to a woman who abuses them. That's the main reason why the mother does not want to send her children to their father's house. Can you find a solution? If she was educated (college) and could work, she would not have all of this stress.

So what I said is also very much applicable to the Arab world. We do not live in utopia.

I think that if a woman CAN both marry and study with her husband at college/university, then that's a wonderful solution. (Don't bring kids into this). That way they both have one another and satisfy their needs. My grandmother and grandfather did that. They got married just before they both went to university. My grandmother always tells me that I should get married and study with my husband. :hyper: Sadly I didn't get that husband yet! :p

Blossom
exactly that's the whole point Women they become too choose until they cross over 30yrs +. and then its too late for them to catch any Husband unless miracles happens, they become lame duck. The point is why Women dont make up their mind while they are still young attractive and open, their is stakes in life in here with such bad decision and delays, Women have to wake up and balance their priorities.

so you are saying that women 1st priorities is to get married?? what are the basis for this statment? and do you mean by open? :duh:

I know a lot of people will probably disagree with me on this, but I dont think that the statistics are a problem... I mean that I don't see marriage as the NUMBER ONE priority. I do think that getting an education is more important... anyways who wants to marry an uneducated woman in the first place? What's wrong with a woman trying to better herself?
These days people just won't make it in the world without a good mind ... you need to depend on yourself, male, female, whatever!! Just look at the women who never got proposed to... imagine they postponed college in order to allow themselves time to get married... but never even got proposed to!! They may get married later, or they may not - and then how would they go on? Living on other people's charity?
Anyways in the end, I think it's up to each individual female to decide what she wants out of life... its fine if she wants to get married most of all, but I know that I'm definitely not going to until I finish ALL my studies inshalla. Lol I used to say I would never get married, but that freaked out my mom too much so I'm just humoring her for now:p

Al2umu Madrasa in A3dadtaha a3dadt sha3ban 6ayiba al-a3raqi!!

(Perosnal opinion) We woman's are the one who bring up kidz (not neglecting his attribution) BUT who did bring him up, his mother too, anyhow I think woman are more invloved then men in bringing up thier kidz and if she wasn't educated then ...... (We get some kind of those worse mentalities we see nowadays.).

I'll put marriage the second or third choice maybe

Ladies and Women!!!
Coooooool Down
It seems you all have taken my thread out of Content
My threads Talks About Alarming Statistics for Unmarried Women, and Not about Education.

I Support Very Much for Women to have as far as they can go for their Education Because Educated Women is the Good Foundation for Generation to come,

But I warned that the women should not be too choose, and I talked for those especially those women over 30yrs old, they need to think faster and engage themself with early decision choosing the right Man, and that process should start as early at the age of 24yrs old for those who are still at University.

There's nothing to be ashamed of, and there's nothing wrong with it.

There's nothing to be ashamed of true.. but i guess its the fear of dying alone.. with no1 to spend the rest of ur life with..
I know a few older relations that are this way.. and they do feel sorry for themselves.. as well as the rest of the family. Because when ur old and grey, there's no1 to look after u... unless u adopt!

Why is is so "alarming"? A lot of women CHOOSE not to get married. It's their own choice.

Also, marriage should never be anyone's number 1 priority. There are things that you just have to do before you get married. One of them is make sure that you have a good education and are financially independant. Whether you are a woman or man, you should never depend on someone else completely.

Most women DONT choose to spend the rest of their lives living alone!! most of the time they are either too picky, or circumstances, or the parents!!

Also, marriage should never be anyone's number 1 priority.

You're too young to understand some things :p .

Most women DONT choose to spend the rest of their lives living alone!! most of the time they are either too picky, or circumstances, or the parents!!


From my experience (as in with old ladies) this is usually the case. And it makes old age very difficult and bitter.

Why is is so "alarming"? A lot of women CHOOSE not to get married. It's their own choice.

Also, marriage should never be anyone's number 1 priority. There are things that you just have to do before you get married. One of them is make sure that you have a good education and are financially independant. Whether you are a woman or man, you should never depend on someone else completely.

Phoenix I guess you are too Young to Understand the difference till you get to that age... ;)

The Thread isn't about getting marriage as Number One Priorities, You all got it Wrong, I said the situation is so alarming for those unmarriage who have crossed the age of 30yrs and over, and dont tell me someone over 30yrs is too young to think for marriage do you???

You're too young to understand some things :p .

Can you elaborate that some things!!!

when u say marrige is responsibility,,,, WHAT R THE RESPONSIBILITIES?!!.... ppl talk about them as if it was something really difficult making other believe that marrige is hell...

well.. the kids, the husband.. and handling the house and so on.. you have to be mature enough to handle it all properly..

when u say marrige is responsibility,,,, WHAT R THE RESPONSIBILITIES?!!.... ppl talk about them as if it was something really difficult making other believe that marrige is hell...

You are right people tries to make life harder for other who would love to try,
As a Men I dont see any hard core to start new life if you have taken good care of yourself for all years, what different will it make to add a spouse into your life! I feel it will not change much, but rather it will add a new partner into your life :love:

I honestly don't think it is the girl's problem. Unfortunately most of the time when she likes someone, her parents don't want. so she has to choose whom her parents want. That is why she never finds the perfect match whom will please her and most important her parents!

sallam,

This thread qoute my attention......so i wanted to reply in it!

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It is Alaraming as Slyum said and it is a problme as what Ice Tea said 2......

But Ice Tea you cant blame the girls only and the socity shouldnt do that as well.

I agree with some members that Parents do play a big role in this Issue nor the less the guy and the girl do the same.

but yet not to forget that also the numbers of guys who stays single upto they reach a certain age is increasing, they either get married so late or get married so young that they dont even assure their future before taking the stage of marriage. Which it defers with guys for sure from being a girl.

Personaly i look at it in many different ways:


Way 1:

Parents always tend to choose the best partner for their daughters even if they were wrong in their choice sometimes. They look into some factors in their choices. First the look into the tribe name, his class, work position, salary, education, Deen knowledge, personality, if he can afford to get their daughter a house and a car...etc

It is rare for parent to look into the actual personality of the guy if it suits the personality of their daughter! As long as the guy can complete their factors then thats it, the wedding will be set. It does not have to be a forced marriage but a strong convincable marriage i should call it.

If a guy came to propose to a girl who did not have all the above factors completed then he gets refused even if he was suitable to the girl. And they will wait for the next person to knock on the door, somtimes a girl gets lucky and she will get her partner soon without waiting for long and sometimes she will have to wait and wait upto she gets to a stage that her parents will blame her for her luck not looking back into their factors and choices and change somthing of their requirment. or the other case it will get to a stage that the girl will get depressed and blame her family for her marriage life did not start with her!

Parents can be wrong in trying to provide a perfect husband to their daughter but they can be right as well, as they are the parents and they want the best for her.

So parents need to be easy in the Socity when it comes to choose a husband for their daughter, and let their daughter get her luck if it was suitable. somtimes parents and girls look so high that they cant even reach it.


Way2:

Girls are in a different wave in the present life. They are far educated, more independent, hard workes and good in their profissions and aiming for a higher scores in their life. Which is not surprising for this is the demand of the present and future life.

We as girls can be divided into many groups in our own gender. group who cares more in providing their own financial base and independent and dont care much in starting a family life that includes a perfect husband,perfect kids, being partialy a perfect house wife...

or group that they get to a certain stage of education and not really bother to finish up a higher education level and accept their level of writing, reading and knowledge that can assest them in their life and look forward into having a family that involves every thing to do with a acceptable husband, kids house work and having good and bad moments.

A group that they dont classify to be educated enough to be called educated, and they dont have a say in refusing a marriage life. so they accept their luck as it comes, if the husband was good or bad, educated or not .....etc

Or a group that refuses to share a husband by being eother 2nd, 3rd, or 4th wife to a man.

depending on which group does a girl fall into, is the result that she will end up in.

Either she will end up as a profissional un-married woman,or a profissional married woman, or a house wife but educated, or a house wife who is not educated and lives her life as it comes. or Ending up as wife who shares her husband with another one.



Way 3:

Guys in their eyes Girls as well do get divided by guys into groups. Group that contains the most wanted girls and a group that are unwanted girls or an acceptable group that guys dont mind to choose from.

These groups can get classified by many reasons, some of them are beauty, tribe, education, money[if reach or not]...etc

Soem times guys might have in their mind some girls that they want but the main reasons for them not be able to go through the proccess of marriage is either the Parents who dont accept the choice of their son. The income of the guy is not enough for him to be able to support a family or go through the expancies of the wedding and its schedules. the dawry is tooo exapncive for him. The family only restrics him to marry a family member which refers back the girl as well.

the guy gets refused because of he does not have all the factors that the family of the girl are looking for therefore no marriage!

So the guy will look somewhere else where he can get accepted and the girl will stay waiting for the perfect husband to come.



Way 4:

The socity plays a big role, where parents always wants to satisfy the socity demands even if it was on the account of their own daughters or sons.

for example if parents want their daughter to marry a son of a Ministree or a very rish man or a member in the royal family, and this thing did not happen and they keep waiting for it to happen untill when she gets into an age that people and the socity will look at her to be an out of date person.


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All the above are how i see affecting the percentage to increase within single ladies in a mid age.

I might be rigth and i might be wrong..........

But i am talking out of what i see in my own family members who girls are old enough to have at least 2-3 kids by now but yet they are still un-married and their reasons either dont make much of sence or the parents had their hands in the issue.

I will come back with some cases as an example.:)